Kurt Rambis - mustache carrying, competition burying, straight-up fucking BALLER

[Johnny]

That's right. This thread is about basketball. Specifically, a legendary man called Kurt Rambis and his career in the NBA in the 80's/early 90's. To get everyone in the spirit of the decade and to enhance the overall effectiveness of this persuasive essay, I will limit my use of synonyms for "very cool" to words that are time period appropriate. As I have stated in the past, I only post here when I find something that can safely be considered "the bomb" beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know the general Doomworld population isn't very partial to sports (frankly I don't care much for them either), but this is one of those times where something exists that is so sweet that it transcends the original subject matter and rockets straight into radville. I mean srsly, there is too much awesome going on all over this guy. Feathered mullet and mustache combo? Check. Classic horn-rimmed black glasses? Double check. Bodacious leg definition? Yes please.

Mr. Rambis attended Santa Clara University from 1976 to 1980, and was the second leading rebounder as well as the all-time leading scorer with 1,736 points. He also got shitloads of awards. After graduating he was drafted by the Knicks as the 58th pick in the 1980 draft, but for some reason he was waived. This is where the real badassery begins. Instead of being super bummed about the whole ordeal, he called upon his Grecian superpowers and moved back to the old country. He then joined the Greek basketball league AEK Athens under the name Kyriakos Rambidis (fuck that is awesome) and won the Greek Cup in 1981, exposing the Knicks' managers as people who make totally bogus decisions. Eventually this beast was signed as a free agent by the Lakers in 1981 where his fresh haircut and hip eyewear earned him the very fitting nickname of "Superman." He spent the bulk of his career with LA, winning championships in 1982, 1985, 1987, and 1988. He's the head coach for the Timberwolves now, but unfortunately isn't near as rad as he used to be.

The phrase "you can't judge a book by its cover" comes to mind when examining the case of our bespectacled American hero. This guy is the physical embodiment of irony. What is a textbook Save-A-Lot manager doing in the NBA? Kicking fucking ass, that's what. Looking like a total out of place dweeb and not giving a shit is pretty cool on its own--I'd still like him even if that was all he offered. But no, he has to also be a complete and total BOSS at what he does. Evidence:

It's so hard to watch that video without yelling "YES!" a ton of times. Sports fan or not, that shit is ill like my grandma. Highlights include back to back dunks at 15s, catching elbows to the face and back of his head yet still draining it followed by an effortless free throw at 2:19, and a pretty choice alley-oop with the assistance of Magic Johnson at 3:34. Really the whole first 5 minutes are worth watching, plus the interview at the end where his calm, polite, and educated demeanor comes out in full force. Kurt is almost too white for golf, yet he could roll with the big dogs no problem. There's another video of him getting knocked down hard by two dudes while going in for a layup, and he immediately springs back up to unleash hell. No need for words when there are fists to do the talking. Sadly his pussy teammates were more worried about some bullshit called "sportsmanship" and held him back. This was from a time when men settled their differences like men, and no one judged you for wearing brightly colored thigh-hugging booty shorts and knee high socks. The golden days of the NBA my friends. They may be long gone, but sure as hell won't be forgotten.

THE END

tl;dr = That guy in the picture is wicked cool. I wish he was my dad.