cursing fail

[gggmork]

So I was playing doom by myself like usual as a neurotic painkiller to distract myself from my pathetic girlfriendless too-old-to-be-playing-games life. Well I forget the exact situation but the cheating infinitely tall enemies did something particularly ass rapingly, like I had a cyberdemon standing on my dick and a lost soul floating 80 miles above surrounded me with its bounding box and enemies were completely defying their source code even more than usual. Fucking former humans were having triple life and revenants shot missiles a point blank range, ignoring their proximity infighting rule, viles resurrected enemies right up my ass.. you know how it is.. well my doom-caused tourettes syndrome let an expletive fly, only, lets just say it lacked the punch that expletives are normally supposed to have and basically backfired to embarrass me, even though I was by myself. Ok, this just came out as a stream of consciousness:
"oh my funky monkey.. chunkies"
I said "funky monkey" first and was like ...wtf? Then desperately tried to home in on something to punctuate it all together, only I landed on another word that rhymed with the rest and it was all retarded. And of course my doom guy died. Man I hate this game. I'm gonna go play microsoft solitaire instead OH YEAH I CAN'T because I recently did disk cleanup and microsoft was all like... psst, hey, you can clean up this other area too, check this out.. just click here, yeah it seems like you're doing some routine cleanup stuff right? NO SIKE, you just deleted all your windows games and calculator ha ha ha. Want them back? Go get your disc, oh you can't find it, just buy another for the 3rd or 4th time. We need you to buy more to compensate for the pirates. Serves you right for messing with OUR operating system. Next time just trust all our default settings and genuine advantage ('genuine advantage' is like calling dried throw up on a toilet seat 'wonderful smelling aids curing tulips'), did you learn your lesson?

[Maes]

Sounds like you just felt like complaining about something

[40oz]

that was a beautiful read gggmork. I wish more people would make threads like this. I'm not sure if I've ever had a similar experience, at least not that I've noticed. With the exception of smashing my first keyboard, of course, my furious yelling was pretty well articulated.

[Xeros612]

I think this is where the obligatory "cool story bro" reply comes in.

[Nomad]

Riveting tale, chap!

[Phml]

I liked it.

[gggmork]

I think I might try falling asleep with a recording of tourettes guy playing, until "FUCK SALT" and "I DON'T GIVE A DEAD MOOSE'S LAST SHIT" start to come out involuntarily.

[Maes]

gggmork said:

I think I might try falling asleep with a recording of tourettes guy playing, until "FUCK SALT" and "I DON'T GIVE A DEAD MOOSE'S LAST SHIT" start to come out involuntarily.

You mean watching any AVGN review? ;-)

[gggmork]

Probably only the reviews that the angry video game nerd made before he sold out and whatever humorless, corporate tie wearer who convinced a committee to buy the show as a 'web 2.0 investment', with a powerpoint presentation, decided it would be an improvement to put some boring 'spruced up' guitar playing at the beginning... sort of like when wayne's world was bought actually. Well I havn't watched many reviews since then, but I imagine they probably toned down the cussing because geico is afraid christians might sue them if their childrens hear naughty words, which is ironic because 'geico' is a much worse word than 'fuck'.
Corporations + humor = "very funny"
http://www.timewarner.com/corp/newsroom/pr/0,20812,670426,00.html
"The "very funny" image campaign positions TBS as an authority on comedy."
Ha ha, the idea that they're an authority on comedy is the only funny part. Idiot viewers with herd mentality probably watch those shows suspecting the genre is horror with the few neurons in the back of their brain that can think for themselves, because the shows are so terrible. But then tbs warmly reminds them that the shows are "very funny". Ooooh, its ok to laugh at these, thanks for telling me tbs. Now my peers will accept me when I laugh.. it would have been very socially unacceptable to laugh at horror.

[Maes]

gggmork said:

Probably only the reviews that the angry video game nerd made before he sold out ... put some boring 'spruced up' guitar playing at the beginning

So you haven't watched it regularly since early 2007? :-p

gggmork said:

but I imagine they probably toned down the cussing

It just has become more uneven (e.g. the latest one "Day Dreaming Dave" has almost none), but "Lester the Unlikely" which is just 2 months old is full of them, and let's not forget the Action 52 reviews in 2010 ;-)

[40oz]

gggmork is my new favorite forum poster. Someone keep instigating him please :)

[Varis Alpha]

This thread is relevant to my interests.

[DoOmEr4LiFe]

If you're keeping score, I would put "Funky monkey" a step behind "pussy feathers" and a step ahead of "sassafras, sassafras".

for those who don't know: Black was invited to the Presidential banquet (When Bush was still in) and was told not to use "bad" language.

[DeathevokatioN]

DoOmEr4LiFe said:

for those who don't know: Black was invited to the Presidential banquet (When Bush was still in) and was told not to use "bad" language.

Hahaha, that was awesome.