Bullet storm

[Craigs]

I picked the game up about 2 hours ago and I gotta say, it's pretty damn good. I don't know why but I love the slide kick so much that I usually just slide kick to where I need to go instead of walking or running. The main complaint I have so far is that some of the voice acting just sounds kinda shitty, like someone trying to fake a tough voice. Also the lines. Dear God this game has some terrible dialogue and the main character is even more obsessed with dicks than Huy Pham. Here's just a few examples of the main character's lines
"SON OF A DICK!"
"YOU SCARED MY DICK OFF"
"THIS MINIGUN REMINDS ME OF A FIVE DICKED DICK."
(last one is fake but some of his other dick jokes come pretty damn close)

So, anyone interested in getting this game/already gotten it?

[Hellbent]

I don't like the word 'dick' in dialogue, except in a few classic usages, like "you don't know dick about writing dialogue".

[Technician]

Hellbent said:

I don't like the word 'dick' in dialogue, except in a few classic usages, like "you don't know dick about writing dialogue".

Oh, Hellbent, you magnificent bastard.

[caco_killer]

I would play this game if it weren't for the horrible lead character. It looks kinda fun, but I can't stand shitty one-liners like that.

[Craigs]

Heh, 4 hours into the game and here's all the most memorable shit I've done
-Walked down the side of a sky scraper using some kind of gravity boots
- Slide kicked down a waterfall into a tribal guy pissing off the side of a ledge, impaling him on a some jagged debris
- Fought a shit load of enemies in some kind of model city, knocking them around like fucking Godzilla. Also some of the model buildings were electrified. You know what that meant
- Wrapped a a chain grenade thing around a guy's dick and blew it off
- Controlled a god damn mechagodzilla thing that shoots lasers out of its eyes with some kind of remote control that I think was supposed to be a toy

And I'm only on the second chapter too.

Also the dialogue doesn't get much better later.

Chick: DON'T FOLLOW ME OR I WILL KILL YOUR DICK
main character: KILL MY WHAT WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN YOU'LL KILL MY DICK? YEAH WELL I'LL KILL YOUR DICK
cyborg dude: Speaking of killing dicks we've got more company.

Yes this is actual dialogue.

[pavera]

it's too bad you can't actually kill dicks with your dick

[Joshy]

Krispavera said:

it's too bad you can't actually kill dicks with your dick

How do you know if you've never tried?

[Technician]

Krispavera said:

it's too bad you can't actually kill dicks with your dick

I could picture a skinny dick slipping inside a big dick and then totally getting a hard on and bustin' that dick like a cartoon gun barrel.

I think I need to log off for a while.

[Maes]

This game sounds like it sucks more dick than 'Nam hookers.

[ReFracture]

The gameplay looks good, but the dialog irritates the ever loving shit out of me. I'll play it eventually, but there are other games I want to play this year before I touch this one.

[killer2]

I must say it is pretty good,but Painkiller (made by the same company) is a LOT better.Where are the secrets...where are the health pickups?!

[hervoheebo]

Well. This reminds me of UT3 dialogue, in a bad way. Except they swear in BS, but maybe they only had money for one word?

[Craigs]

killer2 said:

I must say it is pretty good,but Painkiller (made by the same company) is a LOT better.Where are the secrets...where are the health pickups?!

There are no health pick ups because you have regenerating health. Honestly, this is probably the one game where I think it's actually appropriate as it encourages you to get out and try to pull off as many skill shots as possible as opposed to staying in cover throughout huge portions of the level because your health is down to 10%. Honestly though, I think something like Duke's Ego system would have been more appropriate, maybe make it so that getting skill shots makes you regenerate health.

I also think they should have made it so there's a penalty for getting the same skill shots over and over again. There were a lot of times when I'd be able to rack up hundreds of points just by kicking enemies onto environmental hazards over and over again. If it were up to me, I would have made it so that doing the same skill shot over and over again causes it to get "stale" meaning it subtracts from the amount of points you get when you pull it off, while at the same time, stringing together different combinations of skill shots will cause you to get extra points.

Also the final boss was extremely disappointing. The other two bosses were great but the final one was nothing but a long quick time event. I guess after having the player fight a giant man eating plant and a dinosaur thing the size of a sky scraper they just couldn't think of anything more epic.

it's too bad you can't actually kill dicks with your dick

The closest it gets to that is shooting enemies in the dicks and then finishing them off while they grab their balls in pain. Maybe PCF will make a DLC where you can whip out your dick and cock slap them to death while they're grabbing their mangled package

[yellowmadness54]

I dont like the controls of this game. Its too weird.

[negke]

Disappointing game. It's just another linear and scripted console FPS with lots of spectacle and little gameplay value. It looks very nice and the skillshots are fun, but in the end it's pretty much exactly like the CODs in a different setting. In this sense their mock trailer is doubly ironic.

[yellowmadness54]

neg!ke said:

Disappointing game. It's just another linear and scripted console FPS with lots of spectacle and little gameplay value. It looks very nice and the skillshots are fun, but in the end it's pretty much exactly like the CODs in a different setting. In this sense their mock trailer is doubly ironic.

God, I was able to sniff that one out from a mile away.

Why did I even think this game was going to bring anything new to the table.

You know, I played the first resistance recently, and it was a blast from the past.

It felt entirely original and new and very fun.

The graphics weren't "uber duber mega awesome!" and the campaign is good and long with decent and fun online play.

Resistance was probably the last original game before the CoD and Halo out break.

[Scripten]

yellowmadness54 said:

Resistance was probably the last original game before the CoD and Halo out break.

Hmm...

Resistance was released on November 10 of 2006. That's roughly two years after the release of Halo 2. And CoD3 was released just a few days before Resistance, and wouldn't you know it? It's the beginning of the Treyarch reign. I didn't play very far into it, but it felt a lot like the same old shit. I would say it was more aiming to ride the rails of it's kin.

Could just be me, though, since I didn't play very much.

[scalliano]

Fired this game up today for the first time, and after cocking around with Windows Live to get it to let me past the title screen (yet again) I've found it to be quite enjoyable, despite being another bloody console port (I'm even playing it with the 360 pad).

Thing is, during every cutscene, all I can think of is "What happened to your eyepatch, Snake?" :P

[yellowmadness54]

Membrain said:

Hmm...

Resistance was released on November 10 of 2006. That's roughly two years after the release of Halo 2. And CoD3 was released just a few days before Resistance, and wouldn't you know it? It's the beginning of the Treyarch reign. I didn't play very far into it, but it felt a lot like the same old shit. I would say it was more aiming to ride the rails of it's kin.

Could just be me, though, since I didn't play very much.

agh but it was halo 3 and CoD 4 that started the whole thing.

CoD3 and Halo 2 didn't do much at all.

[Clonehunter]

This game sounds kinda dickish.

[Scripten]

yellowmadness54 said:

agh but it was halo 3 and CoD 4 that started the whole thing.

CoD3 and Halo 2 didn't do much at all.

Eh, I would say the problems with today's games have been around a lot longer than that. Also, Halo 2 wasn't all that different from Halo 3.

[Alphawolf]

Technician said:

Oh, Hellbent, you magnificent bastard.

Dick, be frank.

[chungy]

I played the demo. Very obvious Call of Duty ripoff (and I hate Call of Duty). Pass.

[Craigs]

protip: Demos don't usually don't entirely reflect the quality of the actual game. Also, how the hell is this a CoD rip off? Other than regenerating health and iron sights, there's nothing from CoD in the game

[chungy]

Well, in brief:


on the right, CoD or Bulletstorm, take your pick.

Also, a demo is supposed to, well, demonstrate the game. If they just happened to pick the most boring part to do that, they failed badly.

[Kelzam]

That image is still pretty spot on. I'm 20 minutes into the game, and 15 minutes of it has been cutscenes so far.

[yellowmadness54]

chungy said:

Well, in brief:

on the right, CoD or Bulletstorm, take your pick.

Also, a demo is supposed to, well, demonstrate the game. If they just happened to pick the most boring part to do that, they failed badly.

im going to take that image and post it on facebook to flame bait my CoD dorks.

Thanks.

[ReFracture]

It's depressing but that picture is accurate.. painfully so.

[SyntherAugustus]

Dick!

[Reisal]

Looks OK, but the dialog really turns me off. If the word "dick" was used a lot less often, maybe I would consider this linear POS.