Involuntary Celibacy

[Technician]

magicsofa said:

Please don't listen to them. People who claim sex is overrated are either insecure, or ignorant. Insecure because they are trying to cover up their frustration resulting from lack of sex. Ignorant because they've never had a good lover. That's you, Mr. Freeze :P

Yeah, but Mr. Freeze is like, sixteen.

[ApplicableNamesake]

Mr. Freeze said:

You guys probably have a lot more on your plate than worrying about getting a girl. Keep it that way. IMHO, sex is overrated anyway.

I've been holding back ever since you mentioned it. But after this... some people might take your short quips as being indicative of an authority. This is not likely given the forum, given the regulars, but it's nonetheless a possibility. Your particular comment, in this topic, I ridicule.

What's your problem, cjwright?

Your attempt to blend in with this community has been pathetic. You are not showing that by "asserting the obvious" you represent the same substance as the rest of the members on this forum. Your points come out as ignorant. They speak nothing of the sort of quality I see in the rest of the posters here. I take immense pleasure in having this forum available to read. You leave a blight on any topic you post in.

I apologize to those who have concealed this fact.

To the rest of you 'goers, keep posting, and I'll keep reading. The accumulative quality of prose here is satisfying to me. As long as this forum/community exists I will take pleasure, over my coffee and with a smile. Thank you all for the effort you put into your postings, they relay an especial quality to my ears. The fortitude of the written language speaks here.

~one of the lurkers

(I do realize, that "fuck me I ruined it", forgive me, I don't suppose I'm of a few who know. I assume most of you do. Sorry, I'll accept any necessary editing, if it is at all held to be desirable)

[magicsofa]

ApplicableNamesake said:

Your attempt to blend in with this community has been pathetic.

who the fuck are you?

ApplicableNamesake said:

I take immense pleasure in having this forum available to read...The accumulative quality of prose here is satisfying to me...As long as this forum/community exists I will take pleasure, over my coffee and with a smile. ...your postings, they relay an especial quality to my ears.

you're a fucking creep, that's who you are

thanks for blowing up the thread and posting your stupid rant

[EarthQuake]

What.

[AndrewB]

I still think that different people have different needs and for some people their life is fairly complete except for sex. There is a stigma regarding people who hook up just for sex and I think it's harmful to the incels. I think that people who are suffering from incel should be more open to the idea of having some strictly sexual relationships and casual hookups just to restore some balance in their life.

I disagree that sex is overrated. It can turn a life outlook around 180°. A sexual relationship can make past years of loneliness and despair absolutely irrelevant. It's like sitting in a bubbly hot tub after being lost for days in some blizzard in the forest.

[Shaikoten]

So this is the thread in which 30+ year old virgins congregate. Fitting neither the 30+ year old or the virgin criteria I believe it is best for me to walk away.

But not before making a snarky comment.

Seriously, there are tons of men and women who are uglier than you who are looking for sex with people as ugly or more ugly than you. Even still, there are people you would consider ATTRACTIVE who are looking to have sex with someone like you. Get over your own pathetic ass and stop making pseudo-medical excuses about how you can't get laid and go get laid.

[Lüt]

Maes said:

I had an idealized mental picture that a Doomworld mod was somehow a cool, confident person well above such petty problems, and now you shattered it :-(

Sorry, you confused mods with admins :(

[Kirby]

My brief comment on this - I feel (and this has already been stated, I am merely reiterating the idea) that it is an over-complification of shyness and lack of social experience. If a person honestly doesn't want sex, then sure they can live that way. If you tell me a person can't OBTAIN sex? And then call it a condition? I don't want to step on anyones toes here, but it is easy to get sex. In this case I'm not referring to the social standard of chatting someone up and coercing them into it, but I honestly feel that if someone really REALLY wanted to have sex then they'd find a way to get it. Simplest way being to work a job for a bit, earn some money, head to a viable spot for hookers (in this case I'd say Nevada, USA, as prostitution is legal [albeit expensive]) and at the least just pay for it.

I can understand the qualms about paying for sex, the questioning of whether a paid candidate has STD's, being shy about it, etc. It's just one thing to say that people simply CAN'T get sex while it's another to say they're too AFRAID to get sex. Involuntary Celebacy implies the former which I honestly don't think is possible. Of course I haven't identified and considered every possible scenario, but this is my 2 cents on the issue.

[Aliotroph?]

ApplicableNamesake said:

Stupid long rant at Mr. Freeze

Funny post.

Sex might be easy to come by, but perhaps the article is also referring to those who could have lots of casual sex, but would rather only do it with partners in real relationships and can't make that work. Perhaps it could refer to the converse - maybe involving partners who can't (any longer?) have sex, but they can't do it outside the relationship.

[Mr. T]

TBH Girls don't care what you look like. You are the one who thinks you are ugly. They don't care.

Put on something nice (just a nice shirt or whatever, not a suit or anything tarded) head down the bar and say hello. You can turn having a passion for computers into making them think you are a genius, not a nerd. It works!

[DoomUK]

Grazza said:

DoomUK: I wasn't attempting to represent or reword your point or anything like that at all. I was agreeing (more or less) with the text I had quoted and going on to make an additional comment.

Then the misunderstanding was mine.

Kirby said:

hookers

While they provide sex, then can't provide any emotional or spiritual bond that sex with a romantic partner involves.

Disagree if you will. But paying for it isn't necessarily some miracle cure for the lonely and frustrated virgin.

[ApplicableNamesake]

magicsofa said:

who the fuck are you?



you're a fucking creep, that's who you are

thanks for blowing up the thread and posting your stupid rant

There are multiple thousands of posts on these forums that are of above average quality. Some of the posters here have beautiful prose styles and show incredible writing maturity. Do I need to elaborate?

And I am not a creep because I am young, fresh of face, and not lacking wholesome traits.

Edit: On topic. I have experience involuntary celibacy myself. Mine was more oriented towards my side of things, rather I was not permissive enough with my behavior. Opportunity abound enough for a young lad, I had never taken advantage. Sorry for the cheeky/vague description, I do not feel comfortable elaborating. Now I am voluntarily celibate, it is not much better. The only satisfaction is my relatively low risk of contracting any STDs in my life time.

[DoomUK]

On the other end of the scale, some people claim to "suffer" from "sexual addiction".

While I still don't question the seriousness of what we're talking about, I do think we live in a culture where everything is some kind of "condition" that needs to be treated.

[DoomUK]

Mr. T said:

TBH Girls don't care what you look like. You are the one who thinks you are ugly. They don't care.

Maybe it's a demographic thing, but in my experience they DO care. Even if it's ultimately not a deciding factor on whether or not they wish to date you or sleep with you. Handsomeness and beauty are entirely subjective things, but appearances count a lot all the same.

[Maes]

Lüt said:

Sorry, you confused mods with admins :(

Ouch. So there are even status envy and inferiority complexes involved? That surely doesn't help much :-( (although it would more of the kind of a 3-strip sergeant vs a 4-stripe sergeant...with rockers).

[rfnagel]

Involuntary Celibacy???

Sounds like complete psychiatrist/psychologist blather/babble to me... I mean, *everyone* has an affliction, at least according to the psychoanalysists. Seems that they have a term/affliction (or rather, an *invented* affliction) for just about everyone and everything, regardless of how common and/or trivial that it is (i.e. plain old human nature).

Heh, I remember reading (and I think I saw a documentary on TV about it as well) several years ago about "Anti-Social Behavioral Disorder". Hehe, here... lemme translate that for ya...

"DAMN, WHAT A TOTAL *ASSHOLE*!"

LMAO!

[Phobus]

Technician said:

I dislike children so that's a hindrance.

I thoroughly dislike children. It's not stopped me having sex. Contraception is a wonderful thing IMO. I'm yet to have a had a girlfriend that hasn't poked fun at me for having such a strong dislike of children as well, so its not like they don't know or anything. You can be in a meaningful relationship without having kids and you can definitely have sex without having kids.

Some sad little part of me finds the idea of involuntary celibacy kind of funny, simply because I've been in more than one situation where I really didn't want to have sex, but still woke up the next day with a girl in the bed and a sense of satisfaction/dissappointment. I'm thinking my being massively drunk on over half of those occaissions may have had some sort of effect, but not every time. The fact that I can't even manage being celibate for a night when I'm out clubbing kind of makes me wonder just how much people who are "Involuntarily Celibate" would have to be avoiding all the possible avenues into getting laid.

[Wagi]

Please, they prefer "Non-practicing Heterosexual".

[Maes]

Phobus said:

I've been in more than one situation where I really didn't want to have sex, but still woke up the next day with a girl in the bed and a sense of satisfaction/dissappointment.

If some posts here are genuine, to their eyes you're like, the Ultimate Alpha Male, the Booty Daddy of the clubs or somesuch, and most would give their left nut to be in your place.

[Mr. Freeze]

magicsofa said:

Insecure because they are trying to cover up their frustration resulting from lack of sex.

Wrong. Lack of sex means lack of relationships, and I like having my bank account in the green, thank you.

magicsofa said:
Ignorant because they've never had a good lover. That's you, Mr. Freeze :P [/B]

Heh, I'll plead guilty to that one. She was like a dead fish, really. Oh well. Again, I have a lot more on my plate than worrying about things like that (bills, health, car repairs, etc.)

I'm not really sure why that new guy blew up, but all I'm trying to say is that I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that you guys are making mountains out of molehills. That's not meant as demeaning or condescending, rather I'm trying to say "Forget about the opposite gender for a while". Does that apply to everyone here? Obviously not, but I'm sure a few guys would benefit from advice like that. Hell, it worked for me!

[Quasar]

What I said earlier was coming from a place of anger, and that's always been my main issue - trying to not allow things that happened 10 or 20 years ago control my future.

I've been in counseling before. I've been on drugs before. The amount of benefit these things have is overestimated by those who haven't personally tried them IMHO. They can't control your feelings or attitudes beyond a certain small "push," and once you're out of them or off them, recidivism is pretty damn easy, especially when life starts putting you right back into the same situations. There's a lot of emphasis on dealing with past events, but not so much with how to deal with them better in the future.

I guess there's behavioral cognitive therapy (like where they take you out and force you to do things wildly outside your comfort zone) but nobody around here practices that as far as I know (and there's a $1 million lifetime limit on psych therapy on most insurance policies - you have any idea how much that stuff costs? Phew!).

Also those who don't have a genuine problem that interferes with their social interaction and claim such things don't exist are naive indeed. Do you shake, sweat, become nauseous, lose sleep, and have heart palpitations because you have to meet someone new? Calling it a normal or controllable reaction to such a trivial thing just isn't true.

But most of what people have said here otherwise is true. People like myself are trapped in an endless spiral of negativity that is, on external reflection, artificially inflated. You can recognize that and still not be able to do anything effective about it, unfortunately, and that is where dysfunction exists IMO.

[Sharessa]

Bank said:

Yeah honestly dudes, if you think you're all settled in to be lonely and sexless for the rest of your lives I feel like they'll end up being pretty short. Get to work and quit coming up with excuses for why you can't connect with people.

I'm not lonely, I have tons of good friends. Also, I already work 20-30 hours a week at my regular job, plus 50-60+ hours on my hobbies. I have no time for anything else. Also, Facebook has taught me that children are horrible, horrible creatures that devour time and money, so I'm no longer at all interested in them.

Also, I don't have to worry at all about being ugly. All my female friends (who all have boyfriends or husbands, before you ask) have told me I'm hot, so I have that going for me. All my relationship problems are mental, namely the fact that I am completely unable to tell whether or not a woman is interested in me, and the fact that I'm really self-centered when you get down to it.

[SuperSlammer2]

Wow...just...WOW.

I can't believe this discussion is ever going ON. You fucking virgins are just pathetic. I'm only 18 and I've gotten laid and have a girlfriend. How can you fuck up one of the most important human insticts? Jesus Christ, it's just mindblowing. If you don't have a girlfriend or at the very least haven't been laid by the age of 18, you are a complete loser-plain and simple. Shaikoten is right, you guys really are pathetic nerds. It's not even that fucking HARD to find a girlfriend. Only stuck-up bitches care about looks only, and they're easy to just weed out, but I guess living in your mother's basement will make you retarded to that kind of thing I guess. Maybe if you would go outside every once and a while you might find a girl you like, but then again, I guess that's asking too much of you. A shame, really. It saddens me to see this discussion even going on. I thought Doomworld was better, but I guess all the fat neckbeards really are the majority here.

[DoomUK]

SuperSlammer2 said:

Wow...just...WOW.

I can't believe this discussion is ever going ON. You fucking virgins are just pathetic. I'm only 18 and I've gotten laid and have a girlfriend. How can you fuck up one of the most important human insticts? Jesus Christ, it's just mindblowing. If you don't have a girlfriend or at the very least haven't been laid by the age of 18, you are a complete loser-plain and simple. Shaikoten is right, you guys really are pathetic nerds. It's not even that fucking HARD to find a girlfriend. Only stuck-up bitches care about looks only, and they're easy to just weed out, but I guess living in your mother's basement will make you retarded to that kind of thing I guess. Maybe if you would go outside every once and a while you might find a girl you like, but then again, I guess that's asking too much of you. A shame, really. It saddens me to see this discussion even going on. I thought Doomworld was better, but I guess all the fat neckbeards really are the majority here.

Through this post I get an overwhelming sense of wisdom, intelligence and maturity in you.

[SuperSlammer2]

I don't believe anyone who can't communicate with women and get laid is in any position to judge maturity. Just saying.

[Bloodshedder]

Wow, you're an asshole.

[darknation]

/me swings his penis into women like a demolition ball

[gggmork]

I was taught so much self hate in my youth that I pretty much became immune to pejoratives. I'll have an out of body experience and my own ghost will join you in making fun of me.

[The Lag]

ApplicableNamesake wins the Lecter award.
---
Everything needs to be defined and easily categorized and compartmentalized so says psychology.
---
It is VERY easy to strike up a relationship (with a girl,) even if you are overweight or have something up with your face. Seriously. The thing that shoots you down is your lack of self-confidence.
---
oh, and, it's good that a lot of people have this problem because we don't need any more fucking breeders.

[j4rio]

jerking off 4-5 times a free day compensates for it just good enough, especially when doing the said deed watching a scat porn you've recorded earlier... it's not that simple to find perverted ladies around :(