Better to have never loved, blah blah [split from Blogs thread]

[DuckReconMajor]

And with a mountain of debt and shit credit you will never love again?

Not saying you Bucket, just that I never agreed with that phrase.

[Sharessa]

Yeah, pretty much best to have never loved, at least in my experience.

[exp(x)]

You can't form an opinion if all you've had is unrequited love.

[DuckReconMajor]

exp(x) said:

You can't form an opinion if all you've had is unrequited love.

You are right. I have never been in a relationship. So I am told "you can't have an opinion on love and sex never having tried it yourself".

However, many of these same people will tell me not to do drugs, though they have never tried drugs themselves.

Then they say that they see the damaging effects it has on others, and therefore know it's bad.

Sure, I'll go for that. But when I look at people in relationships, I see people that put up with a lot of shit. Not only that, their behavior changes. They behave like senseless addicts, letting their desire for affection from a partner influence their behavior toward others.

And just like with drugs, love can interfere with your job, your relationship with your family, and even cause you to be depressed and suicidal. I won't even go into the strikingly similar effects it has on your brain.

So the way I see it, love and sex are no different than heroin.

Yet one is illegal! you may retort.

Well, at the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, let's put the two side by side:

• One lets you feel pleasure without having to strive and work toward things that will benefit your government financially
• One usually ends up making more taxpayers

I wonder why.

[GreyGhost]

DuckReconMajor said:

So the way I see it, love and sex are no different than heroin.

So, to paraphrase Karl Marx - "Love is the heroin of the people."?

[Sharessa]

DuckReconMajor said:

You are right. I have never been in a relationship. So I am told "you can't have an opinion on love and sex never having tried it yourself".

However, many of these same people will tell me not to do drugs, though they have never tried drugs themselves.

Then they say that they see the damaging effects it has on others, and therefore know it's bad.

Sure, I'll go for that. But when I look at people in relationships, I see people that put up with a lot of shit. Not only that, their behavior changes. They behave like senseless addicts, letting their desire for affection from a partner influence their behavior toward others.

And just like with drugs, love can interfere with your job, your relationship with your family, and even cause you to be depressed and suicidal. I won't even go into the strikingly similar effects it has on your brain.

So the way I see it, love and sex are no different than heroin.

Yet one is illegal! you may retort.

Well, at the risk of sounding like a conspiracy theorist, let's put the two side by side:

• One lets you feel pleasure without having to strive and work toward things that will benefit your government financially
• One usually ends up making more taxpayers

I wonder why.

THIS

No woman shall ever tie me down. I love my life and don't want to change it, except maybe get more money somehow, and women just do the opposite to you. They mostly just want to fuck with me while doing stupid shit, anyway.

[Grazza]

Mr. T said:

Gosh what a crap thread (except for the first post.)

Agreed. Off-topic posts split off.

[Jodwin]

Danarchy said:

No woman shall ever tie me down. I love my life and don't want to change it, except maybe get more money somehow, and women just do the opposite to you. They mostly just want to fuck with me while doing stupid shit, anyway.

MANLY TEARS.

[Scripten]

This is a very sad thread.

Seriously, though, it's possible to find someone who actually cares about you, and also can make your life easier as a whole, including financially. It's really not that hard of a thing to do.

[kristus]

Danarchy said:

THIS

No woman shall ever tie me down. I love my life and don't want to change it, except maybe get more money somehow, and women just do the opposite to you. They mostly just want to fuck with me while doing stupid shit, anyway.

Misoginy much?

[Gez]

Membrain said:

This is a very sad thread.

Seriously, though, it's possible to find someone who actually cares about you, and also can make your life easier as a whole, including financially. It's really not that hard of a thing to do.

I think the problem here is people getting in a relationship for the sake of getting in a relationship; instead of getting in a relationship because they've found their Mr-or-Ms Right.

You should get to really know (and I don't mean that in a biblical sense here) people before you invest yourself too much emotionally into them.

It's especially a problem with teenagers who tend to confuse raging hormones (and the desire not to be the last virgin of their class) with pure, absolute love. Then they get dumped by their girlfriend and attempt suicide as a result. Heh.

[dew]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paying_For_It

some of you might find this comic surprisingly on topic. the author decides to stop pursuing romantic relationships and only get sex through prostitutes. he makes some interesting points in the arguments he leads with his friends.

[Sharessa]

kristus said:

Misoginy much?

So just because I don't want to be in a relationship means I'm a misogynist? I haven friends who are women and I don't disrespect them, so I don't know what you're talking about.

[exp(x)]

You made some pretty lame generalizations.

[gggmork]

My most significant sexual experience so far was this one dream I had where I had a vagina in each of my armpits.

[Mr. Freeze]

Danarchy said:

I haven friends who are women and I don't disrespect them, so I don't know what you're talking about.

Well, you said the following:

Danarchy said:

women just do the opposite to you.

Sweeping generalization, both baseless and ignorant.

Danarchy said:

They mostly just want to fuck with me while doing stupid shit, anyway.

See above.

Misogynist? Not really, but stupid nonetheless.

[DuckReconMajor]

GreyGhost said:

So, to paraphrase Karl Marx - "Love is the heroin of the people."?

the opiate of the [m]asses is more like it, in both cases, hahaha (I'M JOKING CALM DOWN)

Danarchy said:

So just because I don't want to be in a relationship means I'm a misogynist? I haven friends who are women and I don't disrespect them, so I don't know what you're talking about.

I took what you said as a joke but it was kinda misogynistic. Women aren't out there to tie men down, sometimes it's the man, but usually it's both parties falling into it together. I'm sure you understand that though, but it probably didn't come across in your post for some.

Along that note though, I actually think women have to face these problems more, since society tends to look down on older women who have never been married.

Membrain said:

This is a very sad thread.

Seriously, though, it's possible to find someone who actually cares about you, and also can make your life easier as a whole, including financially. It's really not that hard of a thing to do.

No matter how wonderful the relationship, you've still got to do your part to make it work, so I don't think it can be easier overall. It can make you happier. But that's not the same as being easy. I also don't agree that it's easy for everybody to find someone like that.

Anyway, I've said this before, but I'm not against relationships. I just think people have the right to be single, especially in a world that is fighting for romantic/sexual freedoms. I made a comment about a widely known saying that I don't happen to agree with (which I don't think is a bad saying, just don't think it applies to everyone).

also not a fan of getting told I can't form an opinion :|

actually actually though, I have had love a couple times that wasn't exactly unrequited, but chose not to act on (you don't have to believe me, I don't expect you to).

[Clonehunter]

Gez said:

It's especially a problem with teenagers who tend to confuse raging hormones (and the desire not to be the last virgin of their class) with pure, absolute love. Then they get dumped by their girlfriend and attempt suicide as a result. Heh.

I love it when kids do that. Warms my heart. Seriously, it does.

[hex11]

Everyone has got to experience their own life journey, whether it's married or single, having children or not, gay or straight, sexually active or not, etc. For someone else to take the position that you're wrong or fucked-up, when they haven't walked in your shoes, is essentially just a form of ego.

[E.J.]

Can anyone give a universal description of love? Does it even exist, or is it more of a concept that multiple people all claim to have felt?

The funny part being that they have differing definitions of what it is...

[The Lag]

.

Edited June 17, 2023 by The Lag

[Bank]

Danarchy said:

THIS

No woman shall ever tie me down. I love my life and don't want to change it, except maybe get more money somehow, and women just do the opposite to you. They mostly just want to fuck with me while doing stupid shit, anyway.

I think you don't understand the concept of a relationship and are trying to justify your lack of success in finding one by vilifying women in general.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe the reason your previous attempts at finding a relationship have gone awry is your own attitude toward them? Nobody's perfect, and one bad girlfriend doesn't mean they're all bad...but one denial-ridden single male justification attitude can definitely make it seem more like that.

On that note a lot of people on this forum seem to hold up their social inadequacies as positive and proof of some sort of solitary and independent male trope. Can't people just man up and go talk to others without deciding they exist to undermine your success or something?

[Roscoe]

E.J. said:

Can anyone give a universal description of love?

Ahhh I love this sort of question!

I banged out a definition of it awhile back (years ago) that I still think works to a degree.

"Love is a bond that draws people together (in various ways)"

I'm not arrogant enough to think that is a universal definition (or description) for "love" of course. For the time being I'm pretty happy with it, though. :)

As for better to have never loved? Nah, it's a good thing to experience, I think, at least once.

An aside: Man cannot survive without woman. This is a fact. So, help man survive! Get a good woman. :)

What? You don't need a woman to be happy? Man will survive without your individual contribution? Excellent! I wish you contentment in your path!

[gggmork]

Sex is for animals and civilized humans don't seem like animals anymore. We've been self domesticated and fused to artificial technology. Male beards and female tits were probably the result of sexual selection but now we shave the former and artificially augment the latter. Culture teaches us that its normal to cover your entire body in clothes, as the only species idiotic enough to wear them. I mean, if I was a zebra, I'd just grow up seeing other zebras mating all the time and it'd be obvious and genetically driven when its my turn to compete with other males for a mate. Human children have sex/porn censored from them and everyone wears clothes so who the hell even knows what sex is? We killed our own natural selection, part of the reason I'm sitting here with all these brain fuck ups like extreme shyness (well nature AND nurture fucked me up). I don't even know what a friend is, let alone a lover. All the shitty human institutions I went through turned me into a loner where my only friend is bits and screen pixels. The technology even provides artificial convincing visual cues of sex without needing the real thing, via porn. The underlying reason for the whole thing, reproduction, is even broken with 7 billion people already too many. Even if you have kids, you just hand them over to stranger authorities to be re-educated. I basically see more illness than health on the planet and think its mostly human-caused. We imagine a planet without lawyers and all the other animals on earth imagine a planet without us (if they could imagine.. having sophisticated brains capable of imagining so well is part of what makes us an earth virus as the agent told morpheus).
I don't feel like I own myself. There's too many laws and other humans poking in my business. Hell is other people. Everything feels illegal so I don't do anything. Other animals don't even know what age they are but humans know it by the day, and even if its not illegal, there's social stigma in hooking up with someone too old/young relative to yourself. I feel like there's some camera pointing at me wherever I go and there probably is.
This is just what life is like in that awkward period before the epoch in which machines replace us and good riddance.
I'm only half trolling but you didn't read my word salad this far anyway. I don't think I even have any beliefs.. like sometimes I think the exact opposite of everything I wrote. The main thing is that computers/games are too addicting. When the power goes out I'm reminded that there's a world outside the window. But usually when I venture out there I'm reminded how shitty it currently is so quickly come back to the warm glow of my artificial fire. I have no idea what I'm writing about. Sex is for youthful people anyway; wasn't the average life span of primitive man like 35 or something? But when humans are youthful their lives are wasted in schools and they're taught that sex is 'statutory rape', rather than hormones progress at their own natural pace. The epitome of modern humanity is the government forcing alan turing to drink estrogen and grow breasts. That's the punishment for not choosing the path of throwing a football or becoming a member of a boyband for a living. I mean the guy was smart and he commited suicide. Wouldn't you say that his behavior was advice? I mean given these conditions, this is what you should do. Buh bye, I'll be a lot saner when I don't exist.

[DuckReconMajor]

Bank said:

On that note a lot of people on this forum seem to hold up their social inadequacies as positive and proof of some sort of solitary and independent male trope. Can't people just man up and go talk to others without deciding they exist to undermine your success or something?

The cognitive dissonance goes both ways. People who are reliant on these relationships and can't live without them find it hard to understand why anyone wouldn't want them.

Also, has telling people to 'man up' ever helped anyone ever?

@gggmork: That is part of the societal structure. You probably aren't going to Harvard if you're pregnant at 12.

[DoomUK]

DuckReconMajor said:

Also, has telling people to 'man up' ever helped anyone ever?

I think it's meant to inspire some self-confidence. Better that than allow someone to sink into a counterproductive state of depression over this stuff, don't you think?

[DuckReconMajor]

I think it's meant to pretend you give a shit while making yourself feel superior.

Also, telling someone to man up usually implies you're calling him a pussy, which usually doesn't inspire self-confidence.

[Craigs]

Relationships are stupid. I'm a real man so I don't need a woman unless I'm feeling like getting a bit of action if you know what I mean

[Bank]

DuckReconMajor said:

I think it's meant to pretend you give a shit while making yourself feel superior.

Also, telling someone to man up usually implies you're calling him a pussy, which usually doesn't inspire self-confidence.

See, there's that justification thing again.

[DuckReconMajor]

Please explain. You're the one using male stereotypes to try to justify your own views.