Another Possible DOOM Script Idea...

[Marnetmar]

[geo]

Fuck I want to see the prequil to before Doomguy chainguns his commanding officer. He needs to have a damn good reason. Was his CO posessed by a demon? Was the CO a dick? Was Doom guy just a murderer? Was Doom Guy's family in those people? Why would those people be fired upon? Were they terrorists? Were they undesirables like how the poor should get killed? Were they rebels against a dictator?

You need to show a tribunal or trial as to why Doom guy isn't just excecuted.

That scratch from a can could actually be the catalyst of how zombies are introduced into your universe. The can is infected with some kind of virus when it gets beamed back and that scratch of blood is how he gets infected, then biting transmits it :-)

Its a good start, but leaves a few questions. Like I suggested to the other guy, take some time and write an outline of bullet points :-) With your characters and where you want to take your story. Like do you want to take it to Hell on Earth or through just Phobos Anomaly. The outline will save you in depth writing :-)

[Marnetmar]

geo said:

Fuck I want to see the prequil to before Doomguy chainguns his commanding officer. He needs to have a damn good reason. Was his CO posessed by a demon? Was the CO a dick? Was Doom guy just a murderer? Was Doom Guy's family in those people? Why would those people be fired upon? Were they terrorists? Were they undesirables like how the poor should get killed? Were they rebels against a dictator?

Good idea, I'll try to add some more backstory to that. The idea however is that his commanding officer is just another heartless U.S general that desires to kill non-white non-rich thing in in their path.

geo said:

You need to show a tribunal or trial as to why Doom guy isn't just excecuted.

I thought that in real life, the killers are first arrested and sent to the slammer, then they get a trial, then they get their sentence?

geo said:

That scratch from a can could actually be the catalyst of how zombies are introduced into your universe. The can is infected with some kind of virus when it gets beamed back and that scratch of blood is how he gets infected, then biting transmits it :-)

I feel this would be a bit cheesy. My idea was to have the cause of people being turned into zombies to be straight up demonic posession.

geo said:

Its a good start, but leaves a few questions. Like I suggested to the other guy, take some time and write an outline of bullet points :-) With your characters and where you want to take your story. Like do you want to take it to Hell on Earth or through just Phobos Anomaly. The outline will save you in depth writing :-)

I've had an outline in my head for quite a while actually. The question is how to execute it.

Thanks for the criticism!

[Mithran Denizen]

Not to dissuade you from the way you've set it up so far, but I've always interpreted the term 'body cast' in the Doom manual text to mean that Doomguy's commanding officer survives a brutal beating, rather than being gunned down. Hence the fact that Doomguy is only transferred to a shithole post away from Earth, rather than court-martialed and ejected from the military/tossed in prison/executed. I might be interpreting that wrong, though, and in either case, you obviously shouldn't limit yourself to the manual text for smaller details like this. The scene with him in a cell actually seems like it could be an interesting addition, though, so you probably know what you're doing.

It's just kind of hard for me to imagine Doomguy as the kind of person who would murder his own commander, regardless of whether the guy was an asshole or not. Unless maybe he's hopped up on a Doom comic-style berserk pack, or something. Of course, establishing him as some kind of cold-blooded killer right from the start could work too, in a different way, depending on how the rest of the film would unfold.

(I also think that the writing here is kind of clumsy, but since it's a screenplay, rather than a narrative, I guess that's a fairly moot point.)

[Lila Feuer]

Oh it's no problem, but yeah it's just more or less to get the point across that it has to be faithful to the game's story. Either way the Doomguy shouldn't talk very much if at all, the only times he does is out of reflex, so he keeps himself rather frosty, considering what's going on.

[geo]

You might want to craft your universe differently. Like in America you can't do things like kill poor people.... but if lets say the world's resources were depleeted so bad... you might have to start killing undesirables.

Military has tribunal... but someone can correct me if I'm wrong about this. But even if he goes to the slammer he'd have to get sent to Mars. OR he is sent to prison awaiting a death sentence, kills a guard (who wears armor and a helmet) and takes that guard's identity as they search for the escapee. Then inadvertently gets sent to Mars or Phobos as this mistaken identity.

Or maybe he kills his CO, because the CO is posessed by a demon from Mars and the Doom Marine knows he has to get to Mars or Phobos to save the universe. So he makes it a point to stow away or something.

And you're right the can idea is cheesy :-) Demonic posession is better.

As for how you execute it :-) Write the characters, a beginning a middle and an end. Major scenes, who's involved like.

- Geo and his pet dog went to the store one day.
- They hopped in Geo's car and drove away.
- The dog jumped out the car window.
- The dog runs across the road and into an open sewer hole.
- Geo curses at the dog and drops into the sewer.
- The dog is splashing around and barking.
- A demon rises up out of the stinky water and rips the dog in two.
- Geo runs and tries to get out of the sewer, but its quickly covered.
- Geo is trapped.

Bullet points. That's probably a lil too much detail for bulletpoints. Otherwise.

- Geo meets imp.
- Geo kills imp.
- Geo warns the world.
- Geo is locked up for being crazy.
- Geo escapes mental institution.
- Geo gathers friends.
- Geo and friends stop alien invasion.

[Marnetmar]

geo said:

You might want to craft your universe differently. Like in America you can't do things like kill poor people.... but if lets say the world's resources were depleted so bad... you might have to start killing undesirables.

Oops, I should have mentioned that the fight scene took place in a foreign country.

geo said:

kills a guard (who wears armor and a helmet) and takes that guard's identity as they search for the escapee. Then inadvertently gets sent to Mars or Phobos as this mistaken identity.

This is actually an awesome idea! Would you mind if I put that in there?

Thanks for the ideas on the bullet points! I'll type the ones I have in my head up and see what you guys think.

Mithran Denizen, you have a very true point there. I completely overlooked the bodycast part...Although it may be a bit more disturbing if it was a bodybag instead of a bodycast, don't you think? ;)

[Lila Feuer]

I was thinking originally his commander and whatever mission he was on ended up being a total failure, the commander being a war-hungry control freak, and the marine just out of reflex takes matters into his own hands. This is the future we're talking about here, so we don't know if it's even on Earth or if other planets are colonized etc. But if it does take place on Earth then I'd suppose it's a foreign country under strife (kinda like now in the present). I suppose a conflict similar to Vietnam where the nutty soldiers would kill civilians for fun, so the commander in this case is a nut job that needs to be put out of his misery. Doomguy gets a medal for this as his act of nobility/courage etc. to put his life at risk for the expense of others.

This post came late, but geo has great ideas as well.

[geo]

Seeing as how Doom Guy will inevitably kill EVERYTHING instead of research ways to get zombie humans to come back to normal... I have a feeling he's a little more kill em all let god sort em out. The guard isn't Doom Guy, he'd kill to get out to save the universe.

Or maybe someone or something else kills the guard and DoomGuy just takes his identity. Like someone is helping aide in Doom Guy's escape. Like fate wants him to go to Mars through a bizarre set of circumstances. Or a high up officer knows there's some BS going on at Mars and Doom Guy is honest enough to go against orders so he gets sent there to make sure everyone on Phobos stays honest.

Sure use the idea :-) That's why I suggest them! I'm hopeing maybe the real writer will use me as an idea man :-)

And again bullet points / outline will save you days of writing and help you catch problems before an entire screenplay is written. Not that anyone should write out a full fan screenplay.

[geo]

Or there's a different angle to look at it. Doom Guy has dreamed of walking on other planets. He's trained all his life and Mars / Phobos aren't shit missions to him. They're his dream!!! Ever since being a 5 year old seeing Mars with his dad using a telescope.

He's sent to Phobos to investigate the anomaly wait... its an official who is sent there to investigate and Doom Guy is a bodyguard. The official gets kidnapped and turned into a save the princess or bluntly killed right away. He's gotta seal the anomaly himself... but then gets sucked through to Deimos and so on.

[Marnetmar]

^LOL

Okay guys, here's what I've got so far on the basic outline:

-U.S military is raiding a demolished city in the middle east
-Doomguy is ordered to kill civilians
-Doomguy kills commanding officer
-Shit goes down
-Doomguy gets sent to prison on Mars awaiting a trial
-Doomguy kills a guard and steals his identity
-People think doomguy is a UAC guard
-UAC is using people as teleporter subjects
-Some teleporter subjects arrive either dead, screaming prayers, in extreme shock, etc.
-Some UAC employees claim they've been seeing shit
-UAC employees start getting posessed, exorcists are called in
-Physical demons start coming through the teleporters
-Shit goes down
-Deimos disappears
-Doomguy and UAC militia are sent to Phobos
-Doomguy is ordered to secure the perimeter of Phobos's UAC base (He's a guard now, remember?) while the rest of the dudes go inside
-Shit goes down
-Doomguy decides to enter the hangar first

[geo]

UAC asks for test subjects. Since no one says yes, the bonus / hazard pay goes up. Doom Guy steps forward.

But looking for test subjects on a different planet might be a stretch.... Wouldn't they already have a thousand people there? Which the whole Teleport facility on Phobos to Deimos is a stretch on ID's part.

Luckily Phobos isn't restricted like Earth is. They can test freely.

Oh wait I know why they need more test subjects. 1 mad scientist has already zombified everyone he needs more people.

Or just say the guard signed on a month ago to get shipped to Mars. The prison guard says go to your quarters get some sleep. The transport ship leaves at 6 AM tomorrow. ... uh the what? Having second thoughts about going to Mars?

LOL the exorcist could literally be a unique movie unto itself. A priest is called in to exorcise a space base. Awesome. Film it! They'd already have a chaplin or whoever already there.

Technically Doomguy wouldn't decide to enter the hanger... the drop ship would land there :-)

[Marnetmar]

geo said:

UAC asks for test subjects. Since no one says yes, the bonus / hazard pay goes up. Doom Guy steps forward.

But looking for test subjects on a different planet might be a stretch.... Wouldn't they already have a thousand people there? Which the whole Teleport facility on Phobos to Deimos is a stretch on ID's part.

Luckily Phobos isn't restricted like Earth is. They can test freely.

Oh wait I know why they need more test subjects. 1 mad scientist has already zombified everyone he needs more people.

Woah, let's not turn this into a Doom 3 remake!

geo said:

Technically Doomguy wouldn't decide to enter the hanger... the drop ship would land there :-)

This is actually a bit confusing to work out actually. The original storyline says this:

As you walk through the main entrance of the base, you hear animal-like growls echoing throughout the distant corridors. They know you're here. There's no turning back now.

Just what IS the main entrance of the base? Surely it can't be the hangar, as the base is composed of several separate buildings in the intermission screen. Perhaps the main entrance of the base is a "check-in" building?

[geo]

The drop ship wouldn't land in the infirmary. Nor would it land in the mess hall. Chances are everything is connected by a monorail.

As for the Doom 3 remake... Doom 3 was a remake of Doom 1.

ok let me ask you this... who's your main villain? The Barons? The Cyber demon? The spider mastermind? A person? Movie has to have a middle and an end :-)

[Marnetmar]

geo said:

The drop ship wouldn't land in the infirmary. Nor would it land in the mess hall. Chances are everything is connected by a monorail.

As for the Doom 3 remake... Doom 3 was a remake of Doom 1.

ok let me ask you this... who's your main villain? The Barons? The Cyber demon? The spider mastermind? A person? Movie has to have a middle and an end :-)

My idea is that the base is simply a bunch of buildings surrounded by a wall that the drop ship lands outside of. I don't see any monorail on the titlepic, I always thought that Doomguy simply exited one facility and entered the next.

Also, Doom 3 wasn't a remake of Doom 1, it was a retelling of the first Demonic invasion assuming that the first Doom never existed. I'm settling on having the main villain either be the devil, or having it be one of those "Protagonist vs. Himself" things.

[geo]

There was no monorail in Doom 1, but it might be a pain for scientists and technitians to wear a space suit to go from point A to point B unless all the buildings are tied together with a hallway.

Episode 1's complex is located in the Stickney crater on Phobos. Which is 5-6 miles wide. That's a long walk from here to there :-) There can be vehicles I'm sure. Space taxies.

I think the Doom novels had a pressure dome over it, but someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

Remake... retelling. Potato Pa-ta-to. Either way, its your movie :-)

As for the protagonist vs himself. Army of Darkness did that quite literally :-) If you went for him vs himself you can have his other self portrayed by the prison guard he kills and takes the identity of. Like when he goes crazy this idea of who the prison guard is will be stuck with him.

However, the devil can be killed or at least an incarnation of the devil can be killed... and make a return for a sequil over and over! :-)

[Marnetmar]

geo said:

There was no monorail in Doom 1, but it might be a pain for scientists and technitians to wear a space suit to go from point A to point B unless all the buildings are tied together with a hallway.

Episode 1's complex is located in the Stickney crater on Phobos. Which is 5-6 miles wide. That's a long walk from here to there :-) There can be vehicles I'm sure. Space taxies.

Hmm, that's true...As cliche as it might sound, do you think it'd be a good idea if they used something similar to a Jeep/Dune buggy?

geo said:

I think the Doom novels had a pressure dome over it, but someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

I've never read the Doom novels, but this could be a good idea.

geo said:

Remake... retelling. Potato Pa-ta-to. Either way, its your movie :-)

Well, it's just that Doom 3 had quite a different background story, didn't take place on Phobos, etc... I just don't think Doom 3 could be considered a remake.

geo said:

As for the protagonist vs himself. Army of Darkness did that quite literally :-) If you went for him vs himself you can have his other self portrayed by the prison guard he kills and takes the identity of. Like when he goes crazy this idea of who the prison guard is will be stuck with him.

Good idea!

geo said:

However, the devil can be killed or at least an incarnation of the devil can be killed... and make a return for a sequil over and over! :-)

That's what I was thinking. The question is though...How do you portray Satan, even an incarnation, in a movie?

[geo]

James Cameron said all action movies need car chases. Terminator, Aliens, Terminator 2 all had them.

Doom 3 was wise to keep the story simple and on Mars, instead of how Doom 1 had Deimos disappear into Hell or another dimension. Variety is of good for a game though :-)

You portray Satan as Elizabeth Hurley messing with the marine's mind using comedy and sex appeal. Or portray him as a man in a tuxedo with a devil beard :-) Or go 80s style where Satan is a goal with henchmen all around him and Satan keeps sending hench goats after the marine! He'll scream things like I want him dead!!!! Dead Dead Deay-d!!! Then have the marine say catch phrases before he shoots satan in the head.

Or Satan is portrayed as the prison guard messing with the marine's mind. Its never mentioned he's satan, only hinted. Maybe Satan doesn't really exist and these are just aliens from another dimension. Ever see or read Steven King's The Mist? I think that's Steven King's on Earth version of Doom 3.

Or Satan could just be the Icon of Sin, some giant 150 ft tall demon with the power to create anything he can think of. Some call him Satan, but he is only an icon of sin across the universe.

Not to get too far away from the Doomiverse, but maybe God contained Satan in Hell and God's children messed with God's plan by making a portal that inadvertently tore a seem between Hell and the mortal universe. Now Satan will make God pay by killing his children or releasing Satan upon the mortal universe. Mu-ah-ha-ha-ha! Thunder crackles.

[Blastfrog]

Regarding monorails: yes, the Phobos base does have them. The intermission screen was actually supposed to represent the light side of Tei Tenga. It did have monorails at one point, but they removed them to keep it simple (that, and the level order had changed anyway, and they probably didn't feel like redrawing them.)

It's probably safe to assume that they had a monorail system, even Doom 3 had one. Maybe it could just be assumed that it's underground.