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Sigvatr

doom is unrealistic

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Why do damaging sectors not damage enemies, especially former humans? I don't understand how they can walk in lava and not even get their clothes burnt. Do they get to wear some kind of special hell boots that let them walk in it?

And why does blood damage you sometimes when you walk in it? I'm sure that you get covered in blood through the course of the game. Its still weird how you can't walk in blood though.

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Doom is proof that contracting defense and space development to private companies doesn't work.

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Why are there these weapons lying all over the place in hell? Did UAC secret agents plant them there before the invasion? Why couldn't they just attack the demons themselves? If there isn't a UAC Secret-Ops division, then I say there needs to be a system...What is the deal?

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what are these gloving helmets and mana potions doing here? Is there time rift to Diablos realm? why that toxic waste is in open pools rather than running in pipes? Why is water level so low in every place or is doom marine Jesus walking on water?

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Snakes said:

Why are there these weapons lying all over the place in hell?

They're obviously left over from when Doomguy died time after time (since he only keeps his pistol to the next life).

But, how come that chainsaw never runs out of gas?

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Jodwin said:

But, how come that chainsaw never runs out of gas?

It runs off pure testosterone.

Why does Mars have an atmosphere and green foliage?

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Technician said:

It runs off pure testosterone.

Why does Mars have an atmosphere and green foliage?


The doomguy does have a helmet, you know

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As a learned Space Marine i.e. one who operates and has extensive combative experience in space, Doomguy should know that in order to leave the Phobian surface and return to Mars he need only equip a Radiation Shielding Suit and Rocket Launcher, turn off the gravitational stabilization system, wait till he is aligned with one of the countless Martian colonization bases, and rocket jump to the tune of a laughable 11.3m/sec escape velocity. He may then adjust his landing location using whatever ammunition remains at his disposal just as was shown in that equally plausible scene from The A-Team (coupled with his unique ability to sustain no damage of any kind after falling from any height there's no need to worry about landing speed), and touch down with his trademark "oomph." His ground speed should cover the remaining distance in well under a couple hours local time.

Also, if you are going to be the first man in Hell ever to go unchallenged by all denizens therein, why not put on your diplomatic hat? Get in touch with the head honcho and see about opening up a couple trade routes, invest in a couple condos or maybe learn the finer points of biomechanical transmogrification. You only need to blast your way to the presidential palace is all, there's no reason to go ruining what could have been a prosperous relationship with the only known trans-dimensional beings ever to have made the leap from fiction to reality.

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The Cyber-demon is not hurt by his brother, even though the rocket violently damages him actually.

The Cyber-demon and the Spider Mastermind should get damage from splash damages, shouldn't they?

Why do monsters fight each other in hell while trying to kill the Doom marine, they're such babies!

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...Meanwhile, in some strangely familiar alternate universe, Doomguy is reading this thread, and is asking himself some serious questions about the weirdass universe we live in:


"Chainsaws run out of gas? Gravity causes projectiles to eventually hit the ground? You have rooms above other rooms? Please tell me you people have at least invented plasma weapons? You can't walk on water or other fluids? Well I guess that makes sense given how slowly you all move... And where are all the weapons and health? What do you do when you get invaded by demons if there isn't weapons and health everywhere? Seriously! WHERE ARE ALL THE BARRELS??? And when you die, you do respawn with a pistol and 50 rounds right? RIGHT?"

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KiiiYiiiKiiiA said:

...Meanwhile, in some strangely familiar alternate universe, Doomguy is reading this thread, and is asking himself some serious questions about the weirdass universe we live in:


"Chainsaws run out of gas? Gravity causes projectiles to eventually hit the ground? You have rooms above other rooms? Please tell me you people have at least invented plasma weapons? You can't walk on water or other fluids? Well I guess that makes sense given how slowly you all move... And where are all the weapons and health? What do you do when you get invaded by demons if there isn't weapons and health everywhere? Seriously! WHERE ARE ALL THE BARRELS??? And when you die, you do respawn with a pistol and 50 rounds right? RIGHT?"

Doomguy would make a great stand-up comedian.

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Why do weapons never actually reload? (Except SSG)

Why does a base on a martian planet with no atmossphere have areas made of large open windows?

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Where does the cyberdemon keep all his rockets?? WHERE?!? They're like three foot in length!

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Ed said:

Where does the cyberdemon keep all his rockets?? WHERE?!? They're like three foot in length!

I'm more concerned with the Marine.

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Jodwin said:

They're obviously left over from when Doomguy died time after time (since he only keeps his pistol to the next life).

What came first, the doomguy or the weapons?

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Why doomguy takes his gloves off to punch demons? Couldn't he just put the spikey thing over the glove? Isn't he more susceptible to breaking a nail or something without the gloves?

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I want to know how it is that Doomguy is able to consistently barrel around at 60 miles an hour and yet the magical art of jumping eludes him completely.

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StupidBunny said:

I want to know how it is that Doomguy is able to consistently barrel around at 60 miles an hour and yet the magical art of jumping eludes him completely.


PROTIP: Doomguy either uses roller-skates, or is a vehicle. That would explain both aspects.

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Ed said:

Where does the cyberdemon keep all his rockets?? WHERE?!? They're like three foot in length!


We must pray that Maes never ever sees this question.

[edit] whoah, Maes posted while I was typing this. It's only a matter of time... [/edit]

cbronson said:

Why doomguy takes his gloves off to punch demons? Couldn't he just put the spikey thing over the glove? Isn't he more susceptible to breaking a nail or something without the gloves?


Doomguy is a gentleman and doesn't want to get blood all over his patent leather gloves.

StupidBunny said:

I want to know how it is that Doomguy is able to consistently barrel around at 60 miles an hour and yet the magical art of jumping eludes him completely.


This made me laugh.

But then one fine day, Doomguy discovered SOURCE PORTS !!! YAAAAAY FOR SOURCE PORTS!!! JUMPING AND CROUCHING FOR EVERYONE!!!

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Then what's with the view bobbing? If anyone has wheels, it's Blazkowicz.

What's with the alignment of the weapon sprites? Does he hold the guns up against his chest? That RL recoil's gotta hurt. Or maybe he holds the guns properly, but his torso is constantly rotated about 40 degrees.

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What kind of military trains its soldiers to hold its guns like that, anyway? I'd damn-near have a heart attack or severe chest pain from all that firing. i'd probably gib myself from the BFG's blast.

How big is that damn backpack of the Doomguy's if it can hold up to 1000 units of ammo at once?

so i post this as an honest fact:

The doomguy is a mule. Not like one, he is a mule. a mule with gloves.
How else would he carry all that baggage?

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Clonehunter said:

What happens to the shotguns and chainguns the Doomguy picks up from fallen foes? I mean, where do they go?


They are devoured.

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Clonehunter said:

What happens to the shotguns and chainguns the Doomguy picks up from fallen foes? I mean, where do they go?


After he picks the ammo from them?

MAP13 is set in downtown. There is a building where some Arachnotrons live in them. Oh yeah I saw this in reality.

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So that settles it then. Doomguy is a massive pimp driving around shooting people from Hell in the greatest drive-by shooting game ever. GTA sux compared to him.

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You can't have 200% health. You can't have more than 100% of anything. John Carmack must not be very good at math.

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DuckReconMajor said:

Where do demons go when they die?                                               


They go to hell...

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