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NightmareZer0

How Has Doom Impacted Your Life?

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I'm not sure if there is a thread like this already and if there is I'm sorry for making a new one.



I saw a video on Screwattack.com earlier where Master Chief was soon to go against the Doom Marine in a death battle. They announced Master Chief at the start but they revealed later on in the video who he was fighting. Soon as I heard the Doom Music I was overrun with Joy. Just hearing E1M1's music instantly puts me in a better mood. And I got to thinking just how much Doom has impacted my life. Here goes my story:

tl;dr: Doom has forever changed my life and I couldn't picture what my life would be like without Doom. Some amazing things have happened to my because of the game and it will forever be apart of me.

When I was really young I lived in West Virgina. I was born in 88 so I was about 5 when Doom came out. I remember my mom used to work at a Mall and my dad was really big into computers so we'd go to Sears while waiting for her to get off and toy around with the computers. My dad had a Commodore 64 back at the house we couldn't afford one of these Newfangled 486's that Sears had. But we loved to go Toy around with them.

While randomly toying with one of the computers one day I started this program called Doom. I had no idea what it was but I was eager to find out. I still remember watching the Demo on the main menu and just being amazed. I had never seen anything like it before. I had a NES back at my house and I was just blown away with what I was seeing. I remember I was scared shitless of the monsters but something just kept drawing me in. I found out somehow about God Mode and it boosted my confidence level a bit. My dad would write down the codes for me and every weekend we'd be there at Sears and I would be glued to the monitor. There was just something magic about it. I can't really explain it. Something just drew me in and wouldn't let go. I remember one time while I was playing a Sale's Associate for Sears came and turned the computer off on me. I was so pissed if I knew how to say Fuck You back then I would of said it. It was like she walked up while I was playing with a toy truck or something and smashed it right in front of me.

My mom worked at this urgent care and when me and my dad would come pick her up at night. I hated going because it was somewhat of a drive and it was really boring to me (I had really bad A.D.D as a kid so my attention span was really really small). I remember one day one of the doctor's mentioned something about Installing Doom 2 on one of the computer's upstairs in the office. I was literally jumping up and down begging the doctor if I could play. Me, The Doctor, and my dad went upstairs and he fired up Doom 2. I had never seen Doom 2 before until that day. It was Map03 he had loaded up a saved game. He had put in a IDKFA to get all weapons and he opened the door at the start and fired the BFG. I was speechless I had never seen the BFG before. The Sears computer's only had the Doom Shareware. I didn't think the game could get any better but that one fateful day it got better. I started playing and I played for about 15 minutes and it was time to go. My dad had to pry me off the computer. It felt like someone handed me a Christmas gift and ripped it away from me.

Sometime later I found out a neighbor of mine had Doom installed on their computer. My dad went over to his house one day and he was playing it. We only stayed for like 5 minutes but I begged my dad to stay but he made me leave. I talked about wanting to go back over there to play it for the next 2 weeks. But my dad would not let me go back over. I feel sorry for my dad back then because playing Doom for me back then was like Christmas. It never happened that often and when it did it was nothing short of magical. I was hooked.

Well my dad ended up getting a promotion at his job and we ended up moving to Columbus Ohio. With his promotion he saved up money and got him self a Shiny New Pentium 120mhz. I remember going to the store with him when he bought it. I remember the first question I asked him before he even got out of the store "Will it play Doom?". He said "Yes" and my eyes lit up. It felt like I had won the lottery. Then I preceded to bother him asking him if he would buy me Doom 2. Needless to say he bought Doom2 when he bought the Computer. He pretty much had to because he knew I would never shut up until I got Doom.

I remember literally running home from school. Watching the clock while I was at school. Just waiting to go home and play. Now I'll admit right now...I was a chicken shit. I was like 7 years old and the game scared the shit out of me (Which is weird that I would be hooked to a game that scared me so bad). I used to play with No Monsters just walking around the levels. The monster that scared me the most was the Spectre. I could never see it and that what scared me about the game. Monsters just coming up in my face attacking me. I used to Noclip outside of the walls and get right by the monsters and shoot the rocket launcher to kill them. Getting the Rocket Launcher just enough outside of the wall for splash damage. What finally broke me of my fear of the monsters was Icon of Sin. I knew exactly where the monsters would spawn so it helped me get over the fear of the monsters.

Fast Forward in my life to when I was 11 years old. The darkest part of my life. I was still an avid Doom Player. Still loved the game to death. When I was young (When I still lived in West Virgina). My dad was a truck driver and he was always on the road. So my Grandma and my Grandpa used to watch me. My Grandpa used to be a bitter person before I was born. But after I was born his attitude on life changed for the better. He loved me to death. The man would of given me the world if he could. When I was born he was fighting a battle with Kidney Cancer. When I was 9 it started spreading to his whole body. They tried Kemo and Radiation to slow it down but no luck. When he had his Kidney removed years ago the doctor did not back it up with Kemo. So the cancer spread. When I was 11 he died. My Grandpa was basically my second dad and I took it really hard. Shortly before he died I was abused by a family member. So basically my dad died and I was abused. I still remember tying a sheet around my neck trying to hang myself. My theory was that I would go to heaven and be with my Grandpa again if I died.

After all the Shrink visits and all the pills they shoved down my throat I buried myself in Doom. I had posted a post on this forum talking about making a Wolf 3d mod (Yeah I was young thought it was a good idea even though it has been done 100's of times). I think it was Liam that gave me a link to ZDaemon. I started playing ZDaemon everyday (specially during the summer). I would put on Eminem (The Marshall Mathers LP) and just bury myself into Doom. I was on Adderall at the time (ADHD medicine) and when the shit wore off it made me even more depressed. Every day after that shit wore off all I could think of was killing myself. I couldn't help it..it was a side-effect of the drug leaving my body. Doom helped me get my mind off the suicidal thoughts. They would eventually go away after like an hour but that hour when they were there thats ALL I could think about. I had no friends (Cept for Online friends) and Doom was my escape.

I had a quote in deathz0r's AIM profile. One day I had this random girl message me and tell me it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. Her name was Amanda and she lived in Maryland. After a few years of talking we started dating. I went to PA to her mom's and visited her. I eventually moved to Maryland to be with her and asked her to Marry me. We were engaged for a year or so but back in 2008 he had a falling out. She is a royal bitch now days but hey we almost got married. And I will never forget my time with her.

I also met my good buddy Drav35 (Mark Dravich). I met him when I was 13 and we still talk to this day. He came to visit me in earlier this year. We had a blast while he was out here. But more importantly Mark saved my ass big time a few years ago. I had a credit card that had gotten way out of hand. I owed the bank $1800 with no way to pay it off. The Bank called me one day and told me they were about to sue me over it. They were going to take my car from me and put a 10 year lean on my credit. I had a few weeks to come up with the money. Around the deadline they had called me and asked me if I wanted an extension to come up with the money. I asked the guy over the phone if this would come back to bite me in the ass. He said no so I agreed to the extension. He had me on tape saying I would pay the $1800 on this certain date. I didn't realize I was agreeing to pay it (Through all the technical mumbo-jumbo that these fancy cocksuckers like to use). Mark had gotten into a bit of money from a settlement he had gotten where he had gotten ran over by a car. Well the day came and I had not came up with the money. They tried to take $1800 out of bank account that had 16 cents in it. So needless to say they had me on tape writing a "Check" over the phone. Which bounced horribly. My mom had gotten on the phone with them and worked out a deal the day it bounced to dump the money onto a Credit Card. When they called my mom it was like 2PM. I had till 6PM to come up with $1800. Apparently me "agreeing to pay $1800" was considered bouncing a check a crossed state lines. Which is a felony. So my mom dumped the balance onto the "Credit Card". In the process of getting this "Credit Card" setup they asked my mom for her routing numbers for her checking account. What actually happened they took $1800 out of my parents bank account. Which was my dad's entire check from work, and he had 2 car payments and a house payment and food to pay for. So they had to reverse the "Credit Card" process but I still had to come up with the $1800 or I was going to the pokey. After speaking with Mark about it and telling him I was backed into a corner (I mean who the hell could seriously pull $1800 out of their ass?) he agreed to help me. There was no way I could pay it. I didn't have a job at the time because my license was suspended so I had no way to get anywhere. Mark ended up bailing me out. If it wasn't for Mark I would of went to Federal Prison.

So I owe a lot to Doom. Sorry this was so long but this what Doom has done for me. I seriously want E1M1 played at my funeral it means that much to me. My life would not be there same if it wasn't for Doom. It will be my all time favorite game until the day that I die. I tend to stray from it every once and awhile (Get caught up playing things like Dead Island and Call of Duty) but I always come back to Doom and play it and it is still magical to me to this day.

What's your experience with it? How has it changed your life?

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id Tech 1 was the first engine I understood to use. I'm actually trying to make an IWAD.

I have ADHD, and I play Doom in the morning, as well as a little bit of Portal 2 to keep me focused for the day.

It helped me with my problem of not being able to find things, even if it's in plain sight. I act like I'm looking for a Supercharge.

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I'll probably provide a more in depth and commending reply once I find the time to read yours, but in the mean while:

Imp said:

My dad would write down the codes for me and every weekend we'd be there at Sears and I would be glued to the monitor.

As soon as my father found out I was using cheat codes, he snatched the game away from me. I wouldn't see or hear of Doom for at least another six years. Then, after rummaging through some old junk still unpacked at our new house in Alberta, I rediscovered some of the music for the game, which I rearranged onto an audio cassette as part of my very own radio station. On a cassette player.

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TL; read anyway. You've clearly had one hell of a life, man. Make sure you pay back your favours.

One thing's for sure: I wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren't for Doom. This is not a good thing.

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I played it at my uncle's when I was a little kid. Later my dad got it. I got into gaming and computers. I made a website (in HTML!!!!111) for a webcomic based around Doom sprites in middle school. I wanted to learn how to map and play all the source ports in middle school as well when I realized there was still a thriving community. I also joined here. From web development and other "low" types of computer science I got into real programming, majored in computer science and now have a degree in it with a job in the field (not gaming, don't really want to work for a game company but I do play around with my own side projects).

When I registered here, I was in eighth grade. And I was lurking before that. When I started playing Doom I was probably 4 or 5. Violent video games made me the man I am today!

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I once had a hallucination where Doom Marines were coming out of a steamy university toilet while an ominous choir was chanting "Doom...Doom...Doom....."

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st.alfonzo said:

As soon as my father found out I was using cheat codes, he snatched the game away from me. I wouldn't see or hear of Doom for at least another six years.

That's an extremely excessive punishment just for using cheat codes. :|

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Sodaholic said:

That's an extremely excessive punishment just for using cheat codes. :|



MY CHEATING WASN'T THAT BAD!! SERIOUSLY!!!

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Yes, thank you for the story; reading it was a nice way to start my day. Who knows what crazy shit I would have gotten into if it wasn't for Doom? I don't think I regret a single moment I spent with it, because it's helped me learn more about myself... what I like doing, what I'm good at, what I suck at.

My life has generally revolved around Doom, and I'm quick to proclaim "Doom!" when someone asks what my favorite game is.

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My uncle got it for my birthday in 1995. After reading so much about the game in magazines i was completely hooked about playing it. He was the type that would secretly get me mature rated games and such at a young age. Ever since i first played Doom i stuck with it to this day. A while back i was playing and he came over and see me still playing and he asked "wow, you're still playing that game? I guess i made a good choice picking that for you!"

I love him so much

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I remember that at the time I get the PrBoom, I forget about Counter-Strike and school works. I play a lot doom wads that I keep dreaming about doom, having doom dreams in bed or even school. I once dream of myself in HR2 map32 having just a SSG with lots of cyberdemons surronding me, no BFG either! I also once think of ROC Taiwan armies having BFG as weapons, or chinese qipao girls carrying rocket launcher. I got quite a lot of time being scolded by mom for focusing too much on doom. But doom is too fun, the only thing I will do now is to control myself.

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Hell's Vendetta said:

He was the type that would secretly get me mature rated games and such at a young age.


Usually, uncles are the ones that secretly take a teen boy to his first brothel visit.

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EarthQuake said:

Yes, thank you for the story; reading it was a nice way to start my day. Who knows what crazy shit I would have gotten into if it wasn't for Doom? I don't think I regret a single moment I spent with it, because it's helped me learn more about myself... what I like doing, what I'm good at, what I suck at.

My life has generally revolved around Doom, and I'm quick to proclaim "Doom!" when someone asks what my favorite game is.


Same here. Sounds strange as it's 'just' a game but Doom helped define who I am. Whether that's a good thing or a bad thing? I really don't know.

I remember I first played Doom 2 back in '95 when I was around 6 and I've literally been hooked since day one. I own it on various consoles, have the novels, posters, etc. I'm influenced in my art and music by Doom. Even when new games came out like Duke Nukem, Quake, Half Life and Halo, as great as they are they can't compare to Doom!

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It got me interested in games design.

If it weren't for Doom, I wouldn't currently be studying Web and Games Design at College. I quickly became known as "Doomfag" in my class (Eh, we all have "fag" at the end of our nicknames in our class, it's no deal), and as coincidentally one of the first things we had to look at in Games theory was Columbine I already had a sort of headstart and even corrected the tutor a couple of times.

I also wouldn't have had an hour of my work on TV last year...

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It really hasn't impacted my life all of that much. I guess my improvement in mapping over the past two years has kind of encouraged me to give the same effort to writing, but that's more of a peripheral effect than anything else. More than anything, it's provided an easier, open way for me to channel some creativity.

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It has made me spend a lot of time in front of the computer and my social life has suffered from it. However it has given me a bunch of international friends instead, and made me learn art, architecture and design.

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Quite a lot, seeing as I went through the pain of porting the codebase to Java single-handedly. That was the Ultimate Java Code of Doom!!! All da other Java codez are shit cuz dey can't play Doom!!!11!

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I was 3 years old when Doom came out and my oldest brother managed to get a hold of Doom somehow, not exactly sure how. He may have downloaded the shareware or got a floppy from someone who downloaded it or something. Anyway it was too early in my life to have very lucid memories playing the game. I don't think I got very far past the first level without cheating. I remember dying very quickly and easy and being frightened to see blood on my hero's face. It was too far beyond my comprehension to understand how to avoid being killed by enemies in three dimensions. Before then it was Mario, and Contra, all side scrolling games which were much easier to grasp.

Playing with cheat codes allowed me to explore a whole virtual world. Without being able to die of course didn't really inflict any emotions on me throughout playing the game. I just remember thinking "whats over here, what's over there" and navigating through all the levels and solving all the complicated puzzles until finally reaching the final boss at the end of Inferno, and the cutscene that struck me with such horror that hearing the D_BUNNY music track at any time makes my spine tingle. My older brothers would play the game too. I was amazed at their ability to play without cheatcodes, kill monsters with ease, strafe out of the way of fireballs, etc. They would even play on nightmare mode sometimes.

More importantly my favorite part of Doom was KILLING STUFF. Seeing through the eyes of the doom marine made me feel like an action hero defending himself against insurmountable odds; like the kung fu guy who beats up all the thugs, or the Terminator with his shotgun blowing through an office building full of security guards. I didnt want to leave anything living in my path.

From then on whenever I wasn't playing Doom i was make-believe playing Doom (I'm still between the age of three and six in this part of the story, mind you) I always played with green army soldiers and G.I. Joes and every piece of furniture was a new map. The coffee table, the bookcase where we keep all our VHS tapes, the couch, the fireplace, all deadly arenas to fight bad guys in!

Doom then pioneered my interest in video games. My Uncle learned C++ and was familiar with all these freeware video games floating around on the internet. I got to play a little bit of all the new games my older brothers started playing like Quake and Half-life and Starcraft and The Sims.

I came back to Doom later in my life when I found out a neighborhood friend of mine had both Doom95 with Doom 1 and Doom 2. I was destined to play all of the levels. We spent hours running around Industrial Zone berserk punching zombie men with respawn monsters on. I don't necessarily remember having Doom 2 or Final Doom but when I finally purchased those games between the ages of 10 and 14 I distinctly remember playing many of the levels, especially the first few in all the IWADs, and MAP13 downtown. before then I thought those levels were all made up in my head.

I rediscoverd Doom in middle school with a punk friend of mine when we found out about downloading source ports and megawads. That really tied our friendship together when we were talking about what megawads we were gonna play next and how far we're getting on Hell Revealed 2 and Alien Vendetta, and the weird levels Slige would generate for us. Unfortunately that same friend is a squatter that has been on a lot of different drugs, is now in jail for the third time, has burglarized cars and houses, and various other stuff. The last few times I've seen him, despite how much crazy shit he gets into, he still has the same undying passion for Doom and the same music we always listened to.

Since then I haven't really attached myself to any other video games. I remember playing a lot of Tony Hawk and Grand Theft Auto and Contra between now and then, but nothing really held my long-term interest as much as Doom. There's still an infinite world of possibility with Doom. I like to make the motion to play a new wad as often as possible. I'm sure I still haven't even scratched the surface of all the Doom wads that are out there.

At this point in my life I tend to immortalize Doom as one of the few greatest things in the world. I own two Doom T-Shirts, one was a gift. I got an optical illusion of the Doom logo tattooed on my right arm because of the emotional attachment I have to the game stemming from the very early years of my childhood. Mapping is by far my favorite hobby. Spilling demon blood is a close second. I rarely see any video games (or other forms of media) that are created with such love, craftsmanship, and enthusiasm as Doom. My girlfriend thinks my passion for the game is cute. She doesn't share the same amount of mirth i get from slaying demons but she does like to explore the worlds and help me design levels.

I think it's safe to say this game has layed a pretty strong imprint on the fabric of my lifetime.

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Doom got me through the pains of a divorce. Came home from work one night to find that the house had been emptied ('cept for the couch, rabbit, and a Dear John). Buddy was also going through a divorce so he moved in with me until the house sold. Another friend put together a computer for us with Wolfenstien on it and then Doom II which had just come out. He didn't seem to mind watching me play as I hogged that computer night and day.

Must...kill...the exdemons...

Since then, Doom is what I go for when I need to release.

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I've been playing Doom for a too big part of my life. When I was getting bored of it, I was simply modding it to play a bit different. Sporadically, I've been making maps, but more for myself than for the Internet. Now I'm starting to outgrow it, but I still feel the need sometimes to post here or even start the game, but I have far less time for it.

All in all, not a bad game, and I wish I had all the time in the world to make maps (it feels like writing a fantasy novel), but it clashes with my non-Doom projects (which I have to finish) badly, instead of complementing them.

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Captain Red said:

Ok, I'll bite. How exactly did Doom save you from a motorcycle accident?

He spent all his time playing doom instead of riding a motorcycle. Thus, he was saved from ever becoming implicit in an accident.

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