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chopkinsca

Would you date someone who is transgendered?

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I have been thinking about this lately and wonder what kind of stats there are for this. Would you date someone who is transgendered? If you fell and love with someone and found out they were TG, would you stay with them? Does your stance change depending on if the person is pre-op or post-op?

Personally I would. At the start of the year I had an old friend start talking to me, I've fallen for her a bit. Then she mentioned she was transgendered (with reluctance, she thought it would scare me away). Knowing this didn't change how I felt about her. We live on the opposite sides of the country, so I don't see a relationship happening though. I'd be okay dating a girl with a penis (pre-op) if she truly believes she is female. I'm not in it for sex anyway.

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chopkinsca said:

Would you date someone who is transgendered?

While I'm not prejudiced against it, I still find it to be pretty creepy, no rational logic can change that, it just doesn't seem right. I'm not going to judge them if they are, but I probably wouldn't want to be around them too often.

chopkinsca said:

If you found out they were TG, would you stay with them?

No, for two reasons. One, and most importantly, is that it was intentional deception, and I fucking hate being deceived in my relationships. Two, I'm uncomfortable with it to begin with, so I'd break up.

I wouldn't be a jerk about it though, I'd try to be as kind as possible about it, but make it clear that it's a deal breaker.

chopkinsca said:

Does your stance change depending on if the person is pre-op or post-op?

Not really.

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I'm not going to touch the topic at hand with a barge pole, but if you say:-

chopkinsca said:

I've fallen for her a bit

Then say:-

chopkinsca said:

I'm not in it for sex anyway.

You're either lying to yourself, or it's an intense friendship and not a romantic relationship. Just saying.

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chopkinsca said:

I have been thinking about this lately and wonder what kind of stats there are for this. Would you date someone who is transgendered? If you fell and love with someone and found out they were TG, would you stay with them? Does your stance change depending on if the person is pre-op or post-op?

Personally I would. At the start of the year I had an old friend start talking to me, I've fallen for her a bit. Then she mentioned she was transgendered (with reluctance, she thought it would scare me away). Knowing this didn't change how I felt about her. We live on the opposite sides of the country, so I don't see a relationship happening though. I'd be okay dating a girl with a penis (pre-op) if she truly believes she is female. I'm not in it for sex anyway.


You're a cool guy never give up being such a good person no matter how obvious it becomes that everyone respects asshats in todays society.

I would have a relationship with a transgendered person also even if they still had the penis.

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This is well into the realm of "I'll let you know when it happens."

I'm with Sodaholic on the deception thing, though. Fortunately for me, I'm very good at learning about people before becoming involved with them.

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If you found me a few years ago and asked me, "Would you move in with a lesbian and a deaf Asian man?" I would say "Yes," seeing as it's something I actually tried for a while. It turned out to be horrible, but not because of the deafness or the Orientality or the lesbianitude. We just couldn't get along as people. So that's my answer to your question.

I can't imagine that dating cis-gendered people is the easiest thing for transgendered people. Male-to-female transgendered women have to contend with men who want to date them because they're transgendered.

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phobosdeimos1 said:

I would have a relationship with a transgendered person also even if they still had the penis.


Not surprising, and maybe you're only option given your stated views on women.

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Creaphis said:

I can't imagine that dating cis-gendered people is the easiest thing for transgendered people. Male-to-female transgendered women have to contend with men who want to date them because they're transgendered.


That sucks so basically not onlu do you have to prove you're genuinely ok with it, you also have to prove you're not TOO ok with it

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Snakes said:

Not surprising, and maybe you're only option given your stated views on women.


I wrote this big apology then it got post-helled before I could post it, that's the truth.
It was a moment of pure frustration after reading all this stuff a woman wrote about men, and also I hadn't cracked one out for a week so I was fueled with sexual frustration,

I'm genuinely sorry about what I said, I'm just a man tryin' to get a fish who gets sick of the fish only biting when i'm an asshole, and not biting when I show any sort of emotion to them.. The fish that is


No fat chickz

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Would I date one? No. If you're not comfortable enough with yourself that you have to change, then how can I be comfortable around you? You're not who you say you are.

Would I continue to date if I found out? No. As Soda said, deceit. Sorta goes back to my first point.

Also, in my personal opinion, it's a bit creepy. But whatever floats your boat. As long as I'm not in it.

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Before this friend, I never thought much about the subject. Since then, I've learned quite a bit and I'm not going to ditch a friend just because they believe to have been born the wrong gender. Then again, being friends and dating are two different things.

The reason I brought this up was because last night we were talking about how a relationship is much easier for me to achieve. For me, I just have the problem of finding a girl that likes me. For her she has to find a guy who not only likes her, but accepts her transgenderness, which even from the replies to this thread, don't fare too well.

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I wouldn't go out of my way to date one, no, but if it happened when I was already dating them, I don't know. Ask me when it happens, and I can tell you then.

EDIT: Now you have me thinking about it. I still stand by what I just said, but I almost think it shouldn't matter whether the person is transgendered or not. If you really care for that person it shouldn't be an issue (or a big issue at least).

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Lose the dick and there'd still be the issue that they'd probably behave a bit like a man, which might be enough to put me off... BUT I've seen some pictures of men-turned-women and the one issue I always find is that the examples don't really stand up to much scrutiny. You look at them to begin with and you'd give them one, but then you really look and you see that the bone structure (particularly around the shoulders and face) is more like a slim man than a slim woman (no idea why, but all the images I've seen are of slim people). As somebody who simply doesn't find men attractive, that will put me off.

I could be mates with one, definitely - just like I've met some pretty cool gay guys in my time as well - but I'd not find them physically attractive. A guy like me won't get much mileage out of dating somebody platonically. I'd rather have a meaningless one night stand for a quick release than tip-toe around another person's sensibilities for months on end.

As an anecdotal aside, just last weekend I came up against an interestingcase of what I've mentioned above. In short, the girl found me attractive, I'm not particularly fussy (she wasn't ugly or repellant, but I didn't find her much in the way of an object of desire) but she would have wanted to make a boyfriend out of me. Now, I know that logistically and practically that isn't happening. Likewise it's her view that casual sex is just being used* so when she opted out of the night out that may have led to casual sex (due to overhearing my mates joking and taking it seriously) I concluded it'd be wrong for me to do anything with her. Next day I went over to apologise about my mates offending her and to clear things up and she asked me if I was going to kiss her. My response? A flat "no". I don't want her to feel used and I don't want to commit to her.

I could point to other asides that have ensured that I've been sleeping alone every night - such as my still-enduring-but-possibly-doomed love for my 6-months-previous, very-distant girlfriend that I'd give anything to be back with (I blogged about it once IIRC) - but in this instance it's safe to say the differences in attitude to sex stopped this particular instance before any of the other stuff could really come into play.



*I make a distinction there, although it's difficult to articulate properly. Casual sex for me is two people having sex as an activity together without the emotional baggage of a relationship - you'd both find it a mutually appealing thing in a friendly way perhaps. Somebody using somebody else is just Person A looking for anybody to have sex with regardless of if they like Person B or not - this'd be frequent sex but with Person B being left dissatisfied in some way (i.e. they want a relationship). As I'm more keen to please the other person than I am for busting a nut myself (journey, not destination and all that shit) I tend to approach most sex as morally justifiable, uncommited fun.

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Fuck no. I would however steer them toward the nearest psychiatrist.

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Use3D said:

Fuck no.

Not even with female-to-male? He might even have kids with you!

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