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Chopkinsca

Would you date someone who is transgendered?

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I was in a position a few years ago in wanting to become a full-time TG lady. Out of the blue, I met this girl and we ended up falling in love, so those feelings and desires vanished.

two months ago there was a massive resurgence in that desire. Thankfully, my girlfriend is 100% supportive and I can't believe she was. Since its something I've thought about when I was a little kid, it was a relief to finally have that support after facing a very ugly side of society. Coming out with it, its the hardest thing I've ever had to endure (this tme its a lot easier). I didn't tell her for fear I wouldd lose her, but she had an idea and is thankful I told her. So it worked out great.

In the end, only Love matters- true Love knows (almost) no bounds. And, I don't feel so alienated on this board now (thanks yukib1t!!).

/story

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The only thing that bothers me about gay, transgendered, lesbian, bi people is that they lump themselves into these predefined categories and adapt a more linear role in their lives as opposed to just being a human on this planet that do the things that make them happy. The same could be said for anyone that does that under any circumstances.

I don't believe in gay or straight - I wouldn't have any problem with it.

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Chu said:

In the end, only Love matters- true Love knows (almost) no bounds. And, I don't feel so alienated on this board now (thanks yukib1t!!).

/story

So you're a girl now? :D

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Creaphis said:

I just thought up a couple of questions that are even more awkward than the OP's. If these can't close some of these open minds then nothing will.

If it turned out that your current girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever suffered from gender dysphoria, would you stay with them during and after a sex change?

If no, can you imagine loving anyone enough that you would stay with them through a sex change?


I'm not sure. I love my boyfriend a real lot, and honestly can't see us ever breaking up (friends for 5 years, together for almost three now). If he revealed to me that he suffered from Gender Dysphoria, without a doubt I'd back him and support him 100% and be there for him however I could be, he's my best friend after all. Would we stay together? I'm not sure. I'm not particularly interested in women sexually, and I doubt many trans women are too excited for penis-in-vagina sex. Would I still love him as a partner, outside of the bedroom complications? But of course. Inside the bedroom, there'd be struggles, obviously, but I'm sure we could find a way to satisfy one-another and make it work.
Actually, thinking about it and talking it through, unless he didn't want to be with a female, I'd stay with him.

Vordakk said:

Gotta love this thread. The people who said "yes" are labeled as open-minded, while the people who said "no" are labeled as dicks. Apparently only certain opinions and preferences are acceptable in the EE forum subsection. Ridiculous.

I have quite a few transgendered friends in various stages(pre-op, post-op, mid-op). And in addition(as you might guess), I have many friends who either date or are in partnerships with transgendered people. Even though I am a straight male in a relationship with a woman, I regularly patronize gay bars and private clubs which cater to fetishes and BDSM, and so do a number of my friends. My girlfriend and I visit these places and fully support the establishments as well as their clientele, many of whom are transgendered. Having said that, I don't think I'd date someone who was transgendered. Nothing against them obviously, but it's just not my preference. Kinda like how some people are attracted to certain ethnicities while others aren't. But I'm sure that somehow this preference equates me to a draconian troglodyte in the eyes of certain people on DW forums.


First off... what is mid-op? If you mean mid transition (the actual genital surgery is usually at the very very end, and it's basically just a tiny cherry on top since it doesn't really matter for your public expression of gender) then I understand the mistake.

There's a difference between being open minded/accepting and it simply being something you're not comfortable with, and then there's opinions like this:

Craigs said:

I do. No matter how much they mutilate their bodies to look like women, they're still men, whether they're willing to admit it or not.

So no, I wouldn't date a transgender woman


There's a big difference between the two, don't get all bent out of shape.

---

Phobus said:

Which would be exactly where the problem would start for me in this instance - if it is(/used to be) a man then I'll feel no physical attraction (as I've already gone through before) so I'd not see a close relationship as anything other than a friendship, so I'd never want to date them. Love for me is physical as well as a romantic mental state.


Are you so sure? Unless it's a psychological thing regarding their biological past, and that would be the hurdle for you, there's some damn beautiful people out there who are trans. If you're making the assumption that they'd look "manly" then it's a bit of a gun-jump.

However, I can definitely respect those that view love as a combination of both physical and mental attraction and have a sexual centric desire to them.

Ed said:

The only thing that bothers me about gay, transgendered, lesbian, bi people is that they lump themselves into these predefined categories and adapt a more linear role in their lives as opposed to just being a human on this planet that do the things that make them happy. The same could be said for anyone that does that under any circumstances.

I don't believe in gay or straight - I wouldn't have any problem with it.


Trans isn't a sexual orientation, and the handful that I've talked to desire little more than to just be treated "normal" in society o.o

Chu said:

/story


Congrats, hope everything goes smoothly =]

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printz said:

So you're a girl now? :D

yeap (possibly nsfw?). I was then wasn't then was again. I'm just me. Tho, no chop-chop for me, so I'm whatever people want to see me as(I like to think of myself as a ladyboy/girl I suppose) :D

@Ed: I agree with this. I don't lump myself into any cat. - like I tell everyone, I'm just me being me! :D

GF said the same thing to a lesser extent - as long as I don't change who I am then she could care less...and I wouldn't for the world. ;)

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I'd be as likely to date a transgender woman as I would any other women. Since I've sworn off relationships entirely, it's unlikely either will ever happen though, so it's just theoretical. It's not the genitals that anyone is attracted to anyway, it's various other physical cues. Let's just say my porn collection is sprinkled fairly liberally with dickgirls.

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Danarchy said:

It's not the genitals that anyone is attracted to anyway, it's various other physical cues.


If this were perfectly true, our collections of dickgirl porn would just feature blank skin between each pair of sweaty legs. The truth is that heterosexual males find penises arousing.

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Yeah, but... I'm imagining it's MY cock.
That must be why I'm not big on porn. Too many closeups of some dude's shaved balls. I prefer the power of imagination.

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Grain of Salt said:

When I said "someone who projects their opinions onto people", I didn't mean "someone who vocalizes their opinions". I meant "someone who dismisses another person's thoughts in favor of their own". I meant the ability to hear someone express their feelings and say "nah, you're just lying to yourself", based on nothing more than your failure to imagine that those feelings could exist.

The rest of your comment is an excellent example.

Ok, so I'm an asshole. Moving on.

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Chu said:

yeap (possibly nsfw?). I was then wasn't then was again. I'm just me. Tho, no chop-chop for me, so I'm whatever people want to see me as(I like to think of myself as a ladyboy/girl I suppose) :D

@Ed: I agree with this. I don't lump myself into any cat. - like I tell everyone, I'm just me being me! :D

GF said the same thing to a lesser extent - as long as I don't change who I am then she could care less...and I wouldn't for the world. ;)


You're an admireable person good luck with finding all the happiness you deserve

What a coinsidence that we have two transgendered ladies here on DW

I'd like to see a world where humans do not have a gender. There would be no such thing as sex and reproduction would consist of inseminating eggs.

More realistically, I'd like a world where we're all plugged into our own user-defined virtual reality, where we could be who we want and experience what we want, be it common desires such as wealth and sex with who we find most attractive, or less common desires such as your own world to murder computer generated people in - everyone's happy.

The moral of the story is; something of which is 100% undeniably correct in all situations:

Ignorance is bliss, as long as we're all ignorant

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phobosdeimos1 said:

What a coinsidence that we have two transgendered ladies here on DW

yes wooo! they should have a gay marriage or something. chu doesn't have to "feel so alienated on this board now"! some of my best friends are transgendered! anyone else weird who needs a soulmate? blacks, gays, hopeless virgins?

you know what? i really think an integral part of respecting anyone outside of the norm is to stop being overly protective and reassuring of how much you support their daily struggle with meaningles phrases. this special treatment feels awkward, panicked and i wouldn't be surprised if some of the "affected" considered it insulting. i also think chu was a dick (ha ha!) to say the part i quoted. it's negative thinking, only people like me can understand me, the rest are hostile outsiders. this thread indicates there's a large number of people who would even date a transgendered partner, so why the alienation?

phobosdeimos1 said:

I'd like to see a world where humans do not have a gender. There would be no such thing as sex and reproduction would consist of inseminating eggs.

yes yes, that sounds highly asexual. and the partners could hatch the eggs equally, no gender discrimination!

phobosdeimos1 said:

More realistically, I'd like a world where we're all plugged into our own user-defined virtual reality, where we could be who we want and experience what we want, be it common desires such as wealth and sex with who we find most attractive, or less common desires such as your own world to murder computer generated people in - everyone's happy.

so you consider the premise of matrix to be more realistic than the final part of the forever war.

phobosdeimos1 said:

The moral of the story is; something of which is 100% undeniably correct in all situations:

Ignorance is bliss, as long as we're all ignorant

would you say this statement stays true even when the situation is "how the hell do we contract STDs"?

to OP:
no.

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I don't think I would, although I feel no particular inclination to assert it preemptively.

Vordakk said:
Gotta love this thread. The people who said "yes" are labeled as open-minded, while the people who said "no" are labeled as dicks. Apparently only certain opinions and preferences are acceptable in the EE forum subsection. Ridiculous.

The response I saw about being dicks was one by AndrewB... and it replied to a blatantly bigoted post by PRIMEVAL.

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myk said:

The response I saw about being dicks was one by AndrewB... and it replied to a blatantly bigoted post by PRIMEVAL.


So saying "whatever floats your boat" is a sign of bigotry? Seems pretty accepting to me. PRIMEVAL's point was that he personally wouldn't date one, not that no one should date one.

You're way to quick to shout "bigot", dude. Learn the meaning of the word.

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The thing is, Primeval's post wasn't bigoted at all. Unless he posted more than once in this thread. It's like how I don't mind gay people at all and support gay marriage, but wouldn't date a gay dude myself.

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Can't really say that I would. Not necessarily because I don't want to date a transwoman; mainly because I see dating as a path to marriage, and I see raising a family as a big part of marriage, and this cannot be done when there is no real* female in the relationship. I know there are other options, including but not limited to adoption, but I truly want to have my own kids in a natural way.

*When I say real, I use it only for lack of a better term to say someone with a functioning female sexual organ, and meaning no insult to any transwomen here or anywhere.

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Vordakk said:

So saying "whatever floats your boat" is a sign of bigotry? Seems pretty accepting to me. PRIMEVAL's point was that he personally wouldn't date one, not that no one should date one.

You're way to quick to shout "bigot", dude. Learn the meaning of the word.

Why he is a dick:

PRIMEVAL said:
Would I date one? No. If you're not comfortable enough with yourself that you have to change, then how can I be comfortable around you? You're not who you say you are.

Would I continue to date if I found out? No. As Soda said, deceit. Sorta goes back to my first point.

Also, in my personal opinion, it's a bit creepy. But whatever floats your boat. As long as I'm not in it.

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I just think it's stupid that if you don't automatically love trannys then you are a bigot (apparently).

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Had to double check.. I thought this was a Sodaholic thread for a second.


Anyhow, honestly....


No, But I wouldn't Discriminate against people who are transgendered or are dating transgendered people.

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