Whom would you summon to get revenge?

[dannebubinga]

So you're walking home from town on a saturday night after partying with your friends. A bunch of thugs sorround you, beat the crap out of you and steal your wallet and phone (your brand new Iphone or whatever). You recover from the bruises and the insurance company gives you some money for the things the thugs stole from you. The police tells you that they pretty much know who these thugs are, but they don't have any heavy proof to prosecute the thugs. The police also tells you that the thugs are middle class brats that do these kinds of things cause they are bored and think it's fun to play gangsta.

4 weeks later you're out partying again and you start walking home when the same thugs appear out of the shadows. They're laughing and taunting you, telling you that you will get your assed kicked and robbed again. The hatred you feel for these thugs as they are closing in on you is so great that it can summon a great fighter to help you get your revenge.

Who would you summon?

The fighter/character you summon can of course be fictional, but the damage he/she will deal will be just as strong as you imagine in real life. For example: If a thug gets thrown into a wall, he'll probably die :P

[Memfis]

Fluttershy.

[Gez]

summonfriend archvile

They get burned and exploded and thrown in the air.

And then they are resurrected as my loyal brainwashed minions.

[Alfonzo]

Angel Summoner and BMX Bandit, or perhaps Christopher Hitchens if they're the sort of thugs that are vulnerable to a verbal beating. But if they're really asking for it then this, although that particular summoning way well require something of a context.

EDIT: On second thought, the first selection would probably deliberate too long on what to do, the second wouldn't get a word in edgeways and I'm not entirely sure if thugs can be warded off by giant crosses and foul language. I would probably just carry this around with me.

Why leave all the fun to somebody else anyway?

[GreyGhost]

Judge Dredd, and hope they all resist arrest.

[bytor]

oh it's time to bust heads...BIG VINNIE, I SUMMON THEE!

*burp*

EDIT: link removed

[Grazza]

The Decompress Daemon from STRAIN. That's a monster they created, and then didn't include in any of the maps. Invisible, moves fast and gibs everything it touches, no questions asked.

glboom-plus strain strain.deh doom2 -warp 32 -skill 4

[Maes]

Judge Colt and his jury of six. Only that I would summon them preemptively.

[The Pursuer]

Pain Elemental, it'd be funny to watch.

[40oz]

your friendly neighborhood spiderman

[Vordakk]

Joe Musashi of course. By the time they lay eyes on Shinobi, their limbs will already be lying on the ground, spurting hot blood.

[Daiyu_Xiaoxiang]

Of course Cyberdemons!!!

[Remilia Scarlet]

Tsubaki Sanjuro or Paul Kersey.

[Khorus]

[Grain of Salt]

[hervoheebo]

Way to project

[Ultraboy94]

A beserker packing man-and-a-half.

Because someone already took Fluttershy.

[PRIMEVAL]

The NWO Hollywood Hogan, Nash, and Hall.

[Mr. Freeze]

Urza.

[negke]

William Shattner with a mic.

[DoOmEr4LiFe]

I would respond with:

"Gentleman, in the time between your last successful attempt at my possessions, I seem to have come into a vast fortune. As such I have paid off a most prolific ninja assassin to help me kombat your second attempt and make it less so."

Of course, then a kunai attached to a rope would come out of nowhere, and Scorpion would proceed to beat them mercilessly. Then, when that is over, I get to say the best part: "finish them".

[Sharessa]

Memfis said:

Fluttershy.

Heh, that would be an awesome way to guilt them to death. If it were a physical beating, Rainbow Dash would be a better candidate.

Ooh, better yet, the Powerpuff Girls. They can deliver a no-holds-barred beatdown like no one else. If I had to choose one, then Bubbles (my avatar) because she could do everything Fluttershy could do AND deliver a beatdown.

Khorus said:

Vyvyan Basterd

YES!

"This calls for special blend of psychology, and extreme violence!"

[DoomUK]

Obviously Doomguy is the only acceptable name to post as a candidate for such a job.



Just drop a berserker pack in front of him and those thugs will bother you no more.

[Olympus]

Zapdos! I choose you!


But seriously, I'd choose zapdos to electrocute the shit out of them.

[DELETE-THIS-ACCOUNT]

[lupinx-Kassman]

I would summon Mohandas Gandhi and teach them Truth and Love.

EAT IT.

[Aliotroph?]

The Doctor. After 30 minutes of running around, him confusing everybody and trying to guilt them, only one of them would remain alive, their neighbourhood would have exploded and the rest of them would have melted into puddles of rubber. None of this would involve any weapons. Tea would follow.

[hex11]

Pepper spray and then take their wallets. Also strip them naked and tie them up hanging above freeway overpass.

[Snakes]

The last words they'd ever hear would be, "Name's Ash. Housewares."

[pavera]

I'd summon knights of the round then ride off on my gold chocobo.