Video playthroughs - am I doing it right?

[Windstryke]

Howdy, forum.

I apologize in advance if that sorta' thing is not allowed but I feel like I need an opinion of someone as much in love with oldie 90s fps as I am.

I've recently started playing games, recording it and then commentating over it. The first game I've chosen was HeXen so I'd just like to hear some of the doomers' thoughts on whether or not what I've got this far is worth a watch or it needs severe improvements and if the latter, what's wrong?

Here's one of the videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q80tp-pW0N0

Thank you!