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Graig Colaiacovo

doom = human body allegory

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Obsidian said:

Okay then. *Puts on serious face*

Graig Colaiacovo, I take it that English is not your first language. Would you be able to tell me what language you normally speak? Maybe you could post your original message in your original language and we can find someone to translate it reliably. :)

That'd normally be a good idea, but there are no longer any living fluent speakers of Nega-Infinite-Fleshtongue.

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Avoozl said:

I have a sneaky suspicion that Obsidian, Graig Colaiacovo and Scypek2 all migrated here from DeviantArt judging by the way they're reacting and the text emoticons they're using.

what makes you say so o.o

Obsidian said:

Okay then. *Puts on serious face*

Graig Colaiacovo, I take it that English is not your first language. Would you be able to tell me what language you normally speak? Maybe you could post your original message in your original language and we can find someone to translate it reliably. :)

well, I clicked one of the links in his post and it led me to some text that is written in proper english (something about satanic rosary), but it wasn't more understandable for me.

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TerminusEst13 said:

Dammit, and here I'd been hoping to take everyone by surprise with the obviously Buddhist allegory that Doom's levels represent via the chakra.


buddism is corrupt

Vaporizer said:

Satan Doom for cacowards.


Satan data file correct doom parody

to talk to animal plant object picture you need prana light in your body to sense spirit just as your ear drum has to vibrate spirit needs something to touch open eye breathe prana human torch illuminate astral i have talked to doom guy link [who is literally shigeru miyamoto right hand path uses wind wake as wand which is used to abuse daemons a blasting rod] i fought him also shit angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Opening_Watchtowers.html rock man mooned me fought leon kennedy i am learning characters i made on games were conscious [prana is animating force every thing moves vibrates] and doom is conscious and can possess

dragon perfect prana symbol also real like how eagle america symbol all dragon killing is right hand path super stalin bros star fox 2 rune scape

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What does this have to do with Doom WADs other than the linked 4shared links?

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Graig Colaiacovo said:

half message stop

How DARE you address me thus? You impertinent vagina! I DEMAND satisfaction. Satisfaction from you, vagina!

Graig Colaiacovo said:

dragon perfect prana symbol also real like how eagle america symbol all dragon killing is right hand path super stalin bros star fox 2 rune scape

Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an eskimo
Now you've heard it once
Your brain will spring a leak
And though you hate this song
You'll be humming it for weeks

Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
La la la la la
La la la la la la la
La la la la la
La la la la la la laaaaaaa

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I'm getting a weird "Satanist" vibe from some of this post, with a heavy dose of random mythological and theological stuff, along with a range of games, historical figures and nonsense.

It's kind of like if every discussion that the internet was currently having was fed through a blender and the outcome then became semi-sentient and posted on Doomworld (probably not enough swearing or porn though).


Or, as an alternative theory, this actually is Satan we're talking to and his grasp of English is understandably weak, given he's kind of been trying to tempt billions of humans in ways they can understand for as long as religion has been a concept. Kudos to him for trying to get up-to-date and getting online though. He's picked a pretty appropriate community to start out with too.

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BaronOfStuff said:

This one fails the Turing Test.

GG guys.


this. but the posts are a glorious mix of incomprehensible and hilarious, so I'm not complaining.

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My brother has schizophrenia and he doesn't act like a bloody robot. I object to any notion that the OPer has a mental illness.

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All I can say is that this might be a goldmine for esoteric map names, much like how id pored over the Bible for names for Thy Flesh Consumed.

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Shadow Hog said:

All I can say is that this might be a goldmine for esoteric map names, much like how id pored over the Bible for names for Thy Flesh Consumed.


Shotgun a map called "Jumbo jet bury cloth"

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Ribbiks said:

let's make a megawad out of it, call it "Shit Talk: 32 Level, 33 Vertebrae"

Quoted for the awesomeness.

First dibs on "Animating Force", inspired by "[prana is animating force every thing moves vibrates]" - I really am going to make a map for this new project. WHO'S WITH ME!! :P

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MajorRawne said:

I really am going to make a map for this new project. WHO'S WITH ME!! :P


I'll need proof-of-concept. Then you can count me in.

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Graig Colaiacovo said:

skin live learn speak arapahoe climb dog head eskimo hear brain spring leak hate song hum week hold chick air stick deck chair nose buy jumbo jet bury cloth

wait what

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I'd LOVE to start it but am probably the least qualified person here!

THE 33rd VERTEBRAE
32 levels of SATAN

Idea ripped from the mad ramblings of "Graig Colaiacovo", a.k.a. "The Village Idiot of 2012". Map name followed by the bullshit which inspired it (where these differ).

EPISODE 1

Map 01: Funeral Shroud ("bury cloth")
Map 02: Dragon Killers ("all dragon killing")
Map 03: Satan Data
Map 04: I Fought Him Also
Map 05: Animating Force ("[prana is animating force...")
Map 06: Vibration of the Universe ("...every thing moves vibrates]")
Map 07: Atheists Nil (from KiiiYiiiKiiiA's Jabba picture)
Map 08: Your Brain Will Spring a Leak ("brain spring leak")
Map 09: Something To Touch ("vibrate spirit needs something to touch")

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Graig Colaiacovo said:

skin live learn speak arapahoe climb dog head eskimo hear brain spring leak hate song hum week hold chick air stick deck chair nose buy jumbo jet bury cloth

okay, you overdid it, man. Successful trolling until now. (or you're just really, really, really, REALLY weird.)

and if we're gonna make this project, how about some custom stuff? I demand fighting a "dog head eskimo"!
Also, every map design must be bizarre somewhat.

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We'd have to give it a dignified send-off. Map 30 could be Graig Colaiacovo's arsehole, which is a monster spawner, and the player is gradually being sucked in. When the player finally enters that terrible abyss, they die (and get gibbed) and the game ends.

We could use a conveyor floor or strong wind effect to force the player in the nasty direction.

Then the end screen could simply say "THAT'S IT, FUCK OFF" like the end of Bottom Live.

For added irony, we could add "(Graig Colaiacovo)" underneath it.

The subtlety pierces my soul like Errol Flynn's rapier!

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MajorRawne said:

We'd have to give it a dignified send-off. Map 30 could be Graig Colaiacovo's arsehole, which is a monster spawner, and the player is gradually being sucked in. When the player finally enters that terrible abyss, they die (and get gibbed) and the game ends.

We could use a conveyor floor or strong wind effect to force the player in the nasty direction.


The 'BossBrain' replacement could be placed in that horrible dark nasty shit-dimension too. You must fire several dozen rockets up and into the dreaded Graigish Ringpiece in order to survive and save the universe from its nonsense.

WAD requires Mouselook.

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And the spawn cubes, or whatever they're called, could be little nuggets of turd. If one actually hits the player, the camera pulls back to reveal the Marine covered in excrement before he gibs. This will be a tribute to that Doom 64 map with the exploding armour, and will make as much sense.

EDIT:

Map 30: Scratch 'n' Sniff

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MajorRawne said:

And the spawn cubes, or whatever they're called, could be little nuggets of turd...Map 30: Scratch 'n' Sniff


SUPER SECRET WEAPON:

ACTOR Bogroll : Weapon 21666
{
  Inventory.PickupMessage "You got some bogroll! Time to wipe ass and chew.. uh... never mind."
  Obituary "%o got wiped up by %k."
  +WEAPON.MELEEWEAPON
  States
  {
  Ready:
    BGRL C 1 A_WeaponReady
    Loop
  Deselect:
    BGRL C 1 A_Lower
    Loop
  Select:
    BGRL C 1 A_Raise
    Loop
  Fire:
    BGRL ABCD 4 
    BGRL E A_Saw
    BGRL FG
    BGRL A 0 A_ReFire
    Goto Ready
  Spawn:
    BROL A -1
    Stop
  }
}

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