Masturbation Poll

[nxn]

Crendowing said:

Are you asexual or something, Ling?

masturbation isn't a form of reproductiong, that's what's so great about it.

[Crendowing]

orion said:

masturbation isn't a form of reproductiong, that's what's so great about it.

That's not what I meant. I should have said: Do you have no sexuality, Ling?

[Revenant_]

Zaldron said:

I'm more than sure I'm above 1000.

I feel sorry for your computer screen

[Kid Airbag]

Revenant said:

I feel sorry for your computer screen

You could also say that to the other 14 people who voted "more than 1000"

[nxn]

Archvile64 said:

You could also say that to the other 14 people who voted "more than 1000"

I hardly ever do it infront of the pc, and if I do I aim it twords the garbage can in my room, I usually make it too =]

[sirgalahadwizar]

Lemme see.

Been doing it ever since I was 12. Im 20 now so that's appriximatly 8 years.

I used to do it about twice a day, sometimes more, but rarely on sundays (sort-of a respect for religion kinda thing), so ill have to say 14 times a week.

14x52weeks = 728 times a year (give or take 100). 8 years x 728 = 5824 times in my life (ive got the maximum poll setting beat by about 6 times over).

Now if that's approximatly 100 million sperm per ejaculate, it's pretty safe to say that i've wasted over 50 billion sperm on mental images of my female classmates, movie stars, porn, masochism, female video game characters, and perhaps a few other things.

Most often the recipient of my "discarded tissues" were dirty towels that dried me off after a shower or (in the case I dont have a towel handy) kleenexes (which aren't a renewable resource). Suffice to say I didnt let other people take my towels and put them into the wash (a few times someone snatched them up, but mostly I was the one to dump them into the machine).

If I had ever had a girlfriend I probably wouldn't have done it as much because I woulda been getting some satisfaction by cuddling, kissing, hugging, holding hands, all that cute kinda stuff that girls like and guys just do to get to third base (tho im not entirely sure that I would have pushed as much as other guys to get in bed).

Now if you've read this far either: A) you're gay, B) you're a girl and I wanna talk to you, C) you're sick and demented, D) you have a strong stomach, are incredibly stupid, or are a moderator on this forum.

[Zaldron]

sirgalahadwizar said:

or are a moderator on this forum.

NOSTRADAMUS REVISITED!

[fodders]

orion said:

I hardly ever do it infront of the pc, and if I do I aim it twords the garbage can in my room, I usually make it too =]

It's ok the PC will not judge you

[læmænt]

sirgalahadwizar said:

or are a moderator on this forum.

Hm, since the other options don't seem to work, I guess this must be it.

[Captain Red]

/me drowns in a sea of dead kittens

[sirgalahadwizar]

No, you're option |C| Lament - sick and demented.

[nxn]

fodders said:

It's ok the PC will not judge you

I'm about to invent a pc that swallows.

[sirgalahadwizar]

Hey guys, I invented a cheap way of getting some if you dont have a girl.

Take a gallon-size zip-lok bag (or anything like it), fill it about 1/3 to 1/4 full of hot or warm water. Make dam sure you squeeze as much air out of it as possible.

Now put some lube right down the center of the bag. Bend the bag verticially down the middle, it should be "U" shaped now. You know what to stick in the middle of it.

Ive found that mostly these bags are one time use only, and sometimes cause a mess (from the bag coming unzipped and water gurgling out).

-----
The other non-messy, clean love way is to roll up a blanket (preferrably clean, not the one you fart on) and make out with it. You can even bunch up the top part of the blanket in a rounded ball shape to represent the head.

[Sharessa]

sirgalahadwizar said:

Hey guys, I invented a cheap way of getting some if you dont have a girl, etc...

Hmmm...

/me goes to the kitchen

[Kid Airbag]

sirgalahadwizar said:

Hey guys, I invented a cheap way of getting some if you dont have a girl.

Take a gallon-size zip-lok bag (or anything like it), fill it about 1/3 to 1/4 full of hot or warm water. Make dam sure you squeeze as much air out of it as possible.

Now put some lube right down the center of the bag. Bend the bag verticially down the middle, it should be "U" shaped now. You know what to stick in the middle of it.

Ive found that mostly these bags are one time use only, and sometimes cause a mess (from the bag coming unzipped and water gurgling out).

Heh. I swear you've posted this before...

[nxn]

umm, shit, why not just get yourself a nice soft warm girlfriend?

fuck I'm high, but I want one of those.

[Sharessa]

orion said:

umm, shit, why not just get yourself a nice soft warm girlfriend?

IMPOSSIBLE

[fodders]

Go in garden dig up about a 100 earthworms, stick them in a plastic bag, shove dick in, sorted