VA Republican wants anal and oral sex a felony

[Technician]

I wonder if they'll monitor our internet history to see if we're jacking-off to either anal penetration or oral?

Would they make an offender register as a sex offender? Making the list even more daft than it already is.

[GreyGhost]

What do you do when the sex offenders list is longer than the electoral roll - apart from registering a Sex Party?

[Maes]

Technician said:

I wonder if they'll monitor our internet history to see if we're jacking-off to either anal penetration or oral?

Oh please. Think of something more technically challenging that reading a bunch of nicely-formatted XML or database entries ;-)

[dew]

Maes said:

Oh please. Think of something more technically challenging that reading a bunch of nicely-formatted XML or database entries ;-)

People would obviously start masking it, so NSA would either need a lot of human operators, or anal sex recognition software. Which would make a kickass entry in a programmer's CV.

[Maes]

dew said:

People would obviously start masking it, so NSA would either need a lot of human operators, or anal sex recognition software. Which would make a kickass entry in a programmer's CV.

Masking it how? Unless you trust the anonymous surfing function of Chrome or similar to be 100% effective and confidential, or use some customized browser where you control every aspect of data logging and are 100% sure of the absence of any unwanted "phoning home" behavior (for what we know, all visited pages may be silently reported the moment you visit them, even if they do not appear in your local history or cache).

Especially considering that most pr0n sites are not encrypted or scrambled in any way, I don't see how a normal use could "mask" the fact that he visited them. Even a hardcore hacker would have trouble doing that with any degree of plausible deniability (unless Onion/Tor routing is truly effective).

To some deegree, you might still successfully cover up activities on some P2P networks (e.g. Kademlia) especially if coupled with encrypted/obfuscated protocols, but covering up a standard HTTP request? Good luck with that.

Human operators? Sorry, but even a simple text search into your average free pr0n site can find titles like "Chick takes it up the ass". It takes a second to check that out even for a human operator, and "secure" you a report/condemnation. If you mean that they start calling such videos "Happy unicorn rides the rainbow"....hmm....that might actually be even worse in terms of attracting attention, since it will be hosted on a porn site anyway. Even misnaming pr0n files on P2P networks doesn't work well, because of the automatic detection of duplicates/alternate names for a given file, which is available even to normal downloaders. So what appears to be a game ISO by its name, might be a pr0n movie (and possibly one you DON'T want to have around).

[dew]

Maes said:

Masking it how?

By naming it "Regular legal porn" or "Kitty ballet" and uploading it to section "Conservative porn" on a server in Europe. If there are no trigger metadata, you need to analyze the video itself.

[Maes]

External linking/recommendations/renaming/descriptions/reporting will more sooner or later expose it for what it really is. Not a good solution unless it's also part of a darknet-like concealment mechanism, where the access itself is convoluted and scrambled. "Hiding in plain view" won't really work, nowadays.

[dew]

Sooner or later? Yeah, but that still leaves you with a sea of porn uploaded 5 minutes ago. :) With the server itself being outside of the law's jurisdiction, it could even specialize in helping their yank visitors and censor out the trigger words in comments, not move reported vids, etc.

You're overthinking the problem. I bet it wouldn't be too hard to find some bestiality porn by just googling it... and that shit is illegal almost everywhere.

[Maes]

dew said:

I bet it wouldn't be too hard to find some bestiality porn by just googling it... and that shit is illegal almost everywhere.

Not if there's no animal abuse/cruelty, apparently ;-)

[Belial]

Yeah, just recently I've learned that the actual wording of the law makes bestiality legal in Poland as long as the animal is not 'put into distress'.

Of course in all cases I've heard of the court decided that the animal was obviously in distress due to the act being unnatural so that defense is unlikely to stand.

[Technician]

Belial said:

Of course in all cases I've heard of the court decided that the animal was obviously in distress due to the act being unnatural so that defense is unlikely to stand.

So you're telling me coercing a dog to hump me would be considered unnatural? Dogs often hump anything that breaths. Some people have to kick the dog off their leg.

[dew]

Technician said:

Dogs often hump anything that breaths. Some people have to kick the dog off their leg.

It's that slutty filthy breathing that provokes them. Whores everywhere!

[Maes]

Technician said:

So you're telling me coercing a dog to hump me would be considered unnatural? Dogs often hump anything that breaths. Some people have to kick the dog off their leg.

Apparently, they don't consider it cruelty when the animal is topping. Kinda like some cultures don't consider tops to be "gay".

In the latter, the rationale is that a "top" can very well be a street-smart, prison-hardened mothafuckah that when IN the joint fucks young punk ass, while out of prison he fucks....both female and male asses. Ergo, he's not gay. Watch "Last exit to Brooklyn" to understand what I'm talking about.

In the former, they probably reason that if you offer ANY gaping, lubricated hole to an animal or merely present it with a submissive position, it will hump you on its own free will. Now, if the infamous horse case had been REVERSED and the farmer found his horse dead by Kenneth Pinyan's awesome super horse-splitting dick, yeah, I can see the grounds for "animal abuse" as well. Funnily enough, that's how a shepherd in the island of Crete understood that his sheep were repeatedly getting raped by a Cretan gang specialized in sheep theft: the fucked sheep were grumpy and weak.

Also, this Cretan article claims that in Germany there are legal animal whorehouses, and that the dog in the pic has been raped (use the wonders of Google Translate or something). English article on the same matter. Again, apparently it's OK if the animal "isn't harmed", which is much more probable when it's topping.

Also: Some Polish dude in Athens totally made a bitch his bitch, making her bleed, proving that only when the dawg is topping it's A-OK, esse.

[DeathevokatioN]

Fake left right paradigm strikes again, vote Obama, guys!
Sorry, this topic baited me out of my lurking, just couldn't resist.

:P

Surreal statements like this that would seem as if they came from another dimension, along with the Miley Cirus show would happen just as 'Murica is planning on starting another war...

[Mr. Freeze]

Guess I'm getting life in prison then!

[flubbernugget]

Never in my life have I been so afraid to click on a link.

[Fulgrim]

What are they going to do, sneak into someones bedroom when they think, they are having sex and ticket them or haul them off to jail? This is yet another fine example of political distractions. I would be watching this rep's every move for the next few weeks to see what he is really trying to do.

[SavageCorona]

So gay people are going to be illegal?

Wait a minute, how would he know if people are actually doing it in the privacy of their own homes where nobody else can see it?

Satyr000 said:

What are they going to do, sneak into someones bedroom when they think, they are having sex and ticket them or haul them off to jail?

Also about that thing where it's supposedly meant to stop child rape, what if it's a girl? That's not going to stop him raping her if he does the front. Just make child rape illegal, which I'm pretty sure it already is, therefore no laws need to be changed.