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AccostedJowel

What's in Your Newspapers?

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The Newspaper is filled with all sorts of trivial information.
I'd like to know what the folks over at Doomworld have at the front page of their newspapers.

Update
Oh, what the heck, let's make it the entire newspaper!

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StupidBunny said:

According to my news source of choice, mostly stuff about Kim Jong Un and field guidance


Perversely, that one can end up being more objective than all "Western Capitalist Countries'" media for certain subjects like the economy and foreign policy, precisely because they don't take part in all of this global patting (or worse...) each other's butt, and thus have no reason to be diplomatic or moderated in their commentary.

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Maes said:

Perversely, that one can end up being more objective than all "Western Capitalist Countries'" media for certain subjects like the economy and foreign policy, precisely because they don't take part in all of this global patting (or worse...) each other's butt, and thus have no reason to be diplomatic or moderated in their commentary.


Heh I remember some years ago reading a KCNA article about the US intervention in Iraq, and realizing that it was far too true to be funny (and of course lulz is what I go there for, things like "the Japanese, however, are behaving like a cowboy, not knowing where he stands now")

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Tornado.

btw... my gf drinks maybe 5 diet cokes or more per day. She gets really intense migraines and she's gained 10 lbs in the past 2 years we've dated. Gooooo diet coke! I've been trying to get her to kick that shit, but well Diet Coke has been around longer than I have. I've read a lot of articles saying it doesn't help you lose weight and excessively drinking it causes nerve damage.

Oh its Onion.

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Michelle Bachelet winning the first round of the presidential elections in Chile by a large margin, which will require a second because she got less than 50 percent, where she will most likely win.

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"Teenager seriously injured in attack outside Shrewsbury Marks & Spencer"

Cheerful stuff from my county's newspaper.

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Donald Trump is arguing with the Scottish goverment about permission to build an offshore wind farm that, if it was built, he could see from his golf course just North of Aberdeen (he is objecting).

The local council are generally making a mess of things and unable to agree on how to rejuvinate the city centre of Aberdeen.


The above two items have appeared in almost every edition of the local paper (The Press and Journal) in some way shape or form for what seems like years now. Yeah, not much happening.

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Enjay said:

Donald Trump is arguing with the Scottish goverment about permission to build an offshore wind farm that, if it was built, he could see from his golf course just North of Aberdeen (he is objecting).

Don't suppose it would help matters if Trump moved his golf course to somewhere south of Aberdeen - way, way, way south - like the Falklands. Arrogant prick.

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geo said:

Correct.

Not quite sure if you follow, even the second article said this:

“Again, this doesn’t tell us why,”

Do some people who drink diet soda gain weight? Yes. Is it the zero-calorie product that is causing them to gain weight? No, they are gaining weight because they eat more calories than they burn. If you want to stop your girlfriend from getting fatter, take away her fries or put her on the treadmill. Problem solved.

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For Long Island news today at http://www.newsday.com and in physical form most likely (or slightly different for the latter)

-Judge deciding if Zimmerman should be released on bail.
-Billy Joel MSG show.
-Babylon intoxication law rescinded.
-Manhasset teacher advances on 'Jeopardy!'.
-Man who killed boy in crash: 'I feel like a murderer'.
-Where to find great pies on Long Island.
-Officials: 5 Americans killed in Philippines typhoon.
-Hyundai says it'll win race to hydrogen car next year.
-Suicide blasts near Iran Embassy in Beirut kill 23.
-Calif. man says Google Maps shows slain son.
-Butterball blames fresh turkey shortage on skinny birds.
-Tips for picking the right mulch.
-Kentucky urban bourbon trail adds distillery tour.

This is all on the front page by the way.

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Jodwin said:

If you want to stop your girlfriend from getting fatter, take away her fries or put her on the treadmill. Problem solved.


Your girlfriend must love you.

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40oz said:

Your girlfriend must love you.

No, honey, you look perfect. More mayo for your fries?

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GreyGhost said:

Don't suppose it would help matters if Trump moved his golf course to somewhere south of Aberdeen - way, way, way south - like the Falklands. Arrogant prick.

It would.

He bullied his way in to the area, managing to get a local agreement to reject his golf course overturned. He repeatedly got the rules bent in his favour during development and then made the lives of local residents who objected to his development (on a site of special scientific interest) very difficult (including "accidentally" having the bulldozers move in and start clearing some guy's farm buildings before official permission was granted). I guess money has a loud voice.

He has been shouting the odds and continuing to employ bullying tactics ever since (e.g. threatening to withdraw varying large sums of money or close down hundreds/thousands of jobs if he doesn't get his own way).

All, allegedly, of course.

And we really needed a new golf course in Aberdeen.

Trump=Cunt IMO.

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Enjay said:

Trump=Cunt IMO.

Well, yeah. Does the guy even contribute anything of value to society? All I know him for are casinos, shitty reality TV shows, and shittier hair. And crying about windfarms.

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Jodwin said:

Not quite sure if you follow, even the second article said this:

Do some people who drink diet soda gain weight? Yes. Is it the zero-calorie product that is causing them to gain weight? No, they are gaining weight because they eat more calories than they burn. If you want to stop your girlfriend from getting fatter, take away her fries or put her on the treadmill. Problem solved.


It's been researched that Diet and Sleep are more effective to a healthy body than exercise; in relative amounts I mean. Still can't just be one with the coudh.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/buddhist-extremist-cell-vows-to-unleash-tranquilit,34623/

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Dragonsbrethren said:

Well, yeah. Does the guy even contribute anything of value to society? All I know him for are casinos, shitty reality TV shows, and shittier hair. And crying about windfarms.


A lot rich people have charities as tax write-offs. So I wouldn't doubt it that he does in fact have a few of them as well. However, they may been organized really for their own self-interest.

It sort of reminds me of how during the Renaissance, wealthy Italian bankers would pay to commission great works of art and architecture. The reason was that they were promised by the catholic church, that they would be forgiven for their sins if they bankrolled some of the finest art we have today.

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