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pritch

Killing Me Softly...

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Today has been a very hard day.

Today is the day I have had to admit to myself that someone I love with all my heart is quite possibly addicted to cocaine.

She admitted to me on Tuesday she took it for the first time last week after being offered it by her so-called friends. Since then she has been moody, avoiding me (I castigated her when she initially told me) and generally showing the symptoms of abuse of the drug that are up on government web pages.

Just what the hell do I do? I am so sick with worry here that I've cried, shouted at my parents, destroyed old furniture and generally excluded myself from functioning properly.

I even tried posting here again, but it didn't help.

She is so impressionable, an easy target in peer-pressure situations, and I'm scared it may already be too late. She's too damn nice for this, I can't let her become the next victim.

Oh God, I want to say so much more but I'm just choked. This world is beginning to push me over. Yesterday a little boy called Damilola Taylor, murdered by thugs at age 10, was completely failed by a British judicial system incapable of controlling our crumbling country, and today 17 innocent people are dead in Germany.

And now it's personal. I'm losing her to the evil side of this world.

I'm sorry if you find this off-topic. You can move it to R&P despite being even less relevant in there, but I just had to type this for my sake.

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pritch said:

Today has been a very hard day.

Today is the day I have had to admit to myself that someone I love with all my heart is quite possibly addicted to cocaine.

She admitted to me on Tuesday she took it for the first time last week after being offered it by her so-called friends. Since then she has been moody, avoiding me (I castigated her when she initially told me) and generally showing the symptoms of abuse of the drug that are up on government web pages.

Well, that might be your problem there. You shouldn't have yelled at her or whatever you did when she told you. You should have talked it over instead, cause drug use doesn't make people automatically a bad person, but you might have given her the idea that you think otherwise.

Just what the hell do I do? I am so sick with worry here that I've cried, shouted at my parents, destroyed old furniture and generally excluded myself from functioning properly.

Eek, you're turning into me :/

I even tried posting here again, but it didn't help.

Is that where you've been for the last week?

She is so impressionable, an easy target in peer-pressure situations, and I'm scared it may already be too late. She's too damn nice for this, I can't let her become the next victim.

Well remember, drug use doesn't necessarily = bad. It can, but just try to talk things over with her without getting angry.

Oh God, I want to say so much more but I'm just choked. This world is beginning to push me over. Yesterday a little boy called Damilola Taylor, murdered by thugs at age 10, was completely failed by a British judicial system incapable of controlling our crumbling country, and today 17 innocent people are dead in Germany.

Shit happens. It's sad, but that's the kind of person this world has made me -- I'm in this for me, myself, and I, not all the poor innocent people who die every day. I just be thankful that it's not me.

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It's very unlikely that after such a short period of taking it she's physically or psychologically addicted,it takes a more significant amount/period of time to do that usually,from experience.I think the key was when you said,"She is so impressionable" Not only does that mean she'd be easily led but also easily (self)convinced she is addicted.This fact you must use to your advantage asap because it's the behavioral pattern that you must break before it's not possible for her to do so alone.

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thinking about it he is right. If I was in her place last thing I'd need is someone yelling at me, you should try and talk peacfully and show some support without making her feel you're doing something against her beliefs. A cocaine addiction is tricky because it's not that the person can't stay off of the drug, the person just dosn't want to and feels it's worth the sacrifice.

Magical: you're dealing with coke here, it's probably the third most addictive drug out there, right after heroin and meth. It's not something like with nicotine, you can get seriously addicted to it with your first try, then again some people can deal with that addiction because it's all mental and they have more controll over themselves than others. All depends on the person.

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in the know zone
Cocaine, especially crack, can hook some users on the first try; anyone can become addicted after repeated use.

In scientific studies, rats or monkeys are hooked up to an intravenous source of the drug being studied. If the drug is heroin, the animals will self-administer it indefinitely, but they do still sleep and eat. Rats or monkeys who can self-administer cocaine, however, will do virtually nothing else. They even stop eating and sleeping. They continue to push their drug-delivery lever for as long as they are physically capable of doing so. Within weeks, if not days, they lose a substantial portion of their body weight, up to 40%. Within a month, they are dead.

Cocaine-addicted rats become excited when they simply see the lever that selects cocaine. It's called an addiction "cue." Human cocaine addicts have cues too. They may have a racing heartbeat when they see the things that go with taking cocaine, like large amounts of cash, straws, or crack pipes. Even recovered cocaine addicts - people who haven't used in years -- will often have intense cravings when they pass by a place where they used cocaine or they hear someone talk about using.

With respect to cocaine addiction, scientists have recently isolated a brain protein called delta-FosB (pronounced "fawz-bee") that builds up in a cocaine abusers' brain and changes its functioning, maybe forever. The protein isn't produced in the brain until someone has used cocaine for a while. Once the buildup begins, the need for the drug becomes overpowering and the user's behavior becomes increasingly compulsive. ``It's almost like a molecular switch,'' said Eric Nestler, who led the research into delta-FosB. ``Once it's flipped on, it stays on, and doesn't go away easily.''

Withdrawal

After the drug-fueled high comes the crash. The crash involves anxiety, depression, irritability, extreme fatigue and paranoia. Physical health may deteriorate. An intense craving for more cocaine develops. Stereotyped compulsive and repetitive patterned behavior may occur, meaning that the person will repeat certain odd physical movements over and over. Many addicts experience tactile hallucinations of insects crawling underneath the skin ("formication.") Severe depressive conditions, agitated delirium and a syndrome known as toxic paranoid psychosis may follow.

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orion said:

Magical: you're dealing with coke here, it's probably the third most addictive drug out there, right after heroin and meth. It's not something like with nicotine, you can get seriously addicted to it with your first try, then again some people can deal with that addiction because it's all mental and they have more controll over themselves than others. All depends on the person.


Generally coke is considered to be the most addictive of the three and yes it does very much depend upon the person.But it's still early days for the physical side of the addiction to have taken a true grip and if the behavioral pattern is stopped early the addiction can be curtailed.
I'm speaking from nearly 15years of experience.My mother was a founder of the Mind organization in our town(deals with mentalhealth/drug addiction).I recently lost my sister to heroin.

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I don't know about all that. Never heard of anyone having anything other than a mental addiction twords coke. I admit for some people coke might be more addictive than the other two substances, but for most that's untrue. I consider physical addiction to be worse because you want to quit, but you can't because of the physical pain you go through. With a mental addiction you could quit without a problem, but you don't want to because you believe the high is worth the condequences that come with it. That's probably why she walked out on pritch, she believed the drug is better, even though it's not.

I never did coke, only because I don't have the money to support it, and because of the risks of getting caught, but I do know people that do it, most of them seem to be able to controll their habbits and only do it on special occasions, so the drug in my mind isn't as serious as others may believe it is.

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coke is has a very strong physical addition. the only drugs with little, or no physical addiction are pot, LSD, and a few other plants and toads, yes toads. however most every thing else is physicaly addictied. however it usally takes at least 3-10 uses to become so. mood changes are extream and common. i will not have friends who use such drugs. if she is addicted report her to a drug rehab center or at least to the police and save her life. for those who think drugs are fun and games think agian. anything beyond weed causes damage to the brain and personality. even more destructive is new age drugs like ecstacy. i have seen a number of people undergo massive personality changes just after 5-8 uses of the drug. all of them became aggressive and or very unstable. all have had some low level brain damage because of the drugs effects. you may think it opens your mind, but all it is doing is flooding your brain with seritonine and upsetting its levels... permantly. when you over dose your brian simply floods so much that it no longer responds to that nuerochemical. most are offten times a bit aggressive when comeing off the drug. even when they appear very calm they sometimes lash out. the only drug i aprove of is good old alcohol, and limited use of pot. if anything else is at a party i hold the people who brought it and are useing it are kicked out!

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no no no, MENTAL addiction seph, MENTAL there is a huge difference between the two, and coke is almost purely MENTAL =]

Heh, if anyone narked on my drug use, I'd kill the bitch, I really mean it, I'd get people to shoot that damn fuck. My parents believe all drugs are the same heroin, coke, weed, or anything. You do one of them, you're not any better or worse off than doing the rest. Therefore they'd probably send me back to poland, where pretty much I have no chance of getting a decent life. I would have to do hard physical work, get paid less than minimum wage here, and bearly be able to get enough money to pay for food. If my life is over like that, I'll make sure the person that turns me in will get what he deserves.

Pritch, I wouldn't recommend turning her into the cops or a rehab, it's not like in the movies, it's not guarrantied that method would work and she'd probably hate you for the rest of her life. Then again, if all else fails, and you feel desperate it's your choice, personally I'd let her do whatever she wants with her life isntead of trying to controll it for her. It's her choices of what kinds of shit she get's herself into, other's shouldn't suffer because of those choices.

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orion said:

I never did coke, only because I don't have the money to support it, and because of the risks of getting caught, but I do know people that do it, most of them seem to be able to controll their habbits and only do it on special occasions, so the drug in my mind isn't as serious as others may believe it is.

It's always been a contentious point as to how mentally or physically addictive a drug is.Different authorities have always held different opinions.In my experience addiction to coke eventually turns to a physical one.No matter how much the mind wants to quit it's unable to stop the body from doing the physical action.That's why one NEEDS outside help of course
Orion,i'm afraid the belief that you hold is a stereotypically naive one.It seems obvious from your statement that you've never really come into contact with real addicts/people who have enough money to support an almost bottomless coke habit.

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magikal said:

It's always been a contentious point as to how mentally or physically addictive a drug is.Different authorities have always held different opinions.In my experience addiction to coke eventually turns to a physical one.No matter how much the mind wants to quit it's unable to stop the body from doing the physical action.That's why one NEEDS outside help of course
Orion,i'm afraid the belief that you hold is a stereotypically naive one.It seems obvious from your statement that you've never really come into contact with real addicts/people who have enough money to support an almost bottomless coke habit.

No I'm sorry, that's not what a physical addiction is. And it seems to me like you really don't know what you're talking about. Heroin and meth are definatly more addictive than coke, and trust me I do know coke heads, crack heads, heroin addicts, honestly I only don't know of someone that ever did meth. I'm getting of the subject right now, some of the things people say really piss me off. I mean seriously, most of you haven't been around any of this stuff and yet you all seem to talk the most shit. I'll let you all believe what you want. Don't take this the wrong way, I wouldn't have expected more from a forum about a 8 year old video game either way. No hard feelings.

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Well this is like, really helpful...

Pritch, dude, best thing you can do is take your GF andjust tell her what you've told us. If she feels for you and realises she needs help, that's the first and most important step. After that it's the two of you against any problems, and it's easier.

PS: Orion is a fool. Ignore him.

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darknation said:

PS: Orion is a fool. Ignore him.

Oh really? look whose talking, stop acting like a little damn 12 year old with a bad attitude all the damn time. Grow up, and stop thinking the world is revolving around you, you stuck up brat. Besides, I know for a damn fucking fact you never seen the shit I've been around, so don't fucking disrespect me punk.

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I would suggest getting her checked in to a drug rehabilitation facility, though I'm not sure if there are any over in England or not. DO NOT call the cops on her. It should be a mutual decision. Try to talk her into going.

There are also support groups for this sort of thing, Narcotics Anonymous being the most notable.

But the bottom line is that you need to be there for her. She needs support, and a shoulder to cry on. Chances are, she doesn't really want this.

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Good advice Danarchist.Yes Pritch ultimately all you can do is to support and be a shoulder to cry on for her.She has to do all the decision making for herself,your support will help of course.Unfortunately if she makes the wrong decision there's little that you can do.My sister was 36 when she died,she fought for 15 years but couldn't overcome it no matter how much she wanted and she really wanted.
I've seen the attitude of 'a little bit every now and then doesn't hurt,keep the habit under control,no problem',so many times over the years,but it seems once a certain line is crossed the person is unable to implement that adage(maybe it's what fodders mentioned earlier).Fortunately with coke financial restriction usually does the job anyway.But for every one in so many unfortunately there's one whose life is almost irreparably damaged or worse.I'm not anti-drugs by any means but they generally deserve a little more respect and discipline than most give.Use rather than abuse.No hard feelings Orion I fully understand your view point.I'm only talking from hard experience.

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You know... I left my last girlfriend because she was a cokehead. It will do horrendous things to even the most cute, lovable girl. I say either get that lifeline on fucking hard and quick or cut all ties and let her go.

Pick a side, with or without, and get there ASAP. If it's with, do what you ALREADY KNOW YOU HAVE TO DO.

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Archvile64 said:

Christ, can we please keep just this one topic away from the wonderful world of drugs discussion group?

Yes please. I can't imagine that helping pritch in any shape or form...

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PS: Orion is a fool. Ignore him.


K...Keanu Reeves?

I am not even arguning (sic) around you. This is not the place.


OK Keanu, i respect you to the most total of extents.

(That's all i can think of when i read this guy's writing. It's like he's constantly trying to be some mystic philosopher or something...phhhht.)

Oh, and that's a damn shame for Pritch...sorry man...

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orion said:

Therefore they'd probably send me back to poland, where pretty much I have no chance of getting a decent life. I would have to do hard physical work, get paid less than minimum wage here, and bearly be able to get enough money to pay for food. If my life is over like that, I'll make sure the person that turns me in will get what he deserves.

No offence , and it's not my country that you are polluting, but I sense that it would not be a bad thing if you were kicked back to Poland, you have been given a home in one of the best countries in the world and repay by dealing drugs and contributing to all that is held offensive there, the poverty of the few, the crime and the killings, plus you are part of the axis that made the events of the 11th of Sept possible, your money goes straight into the coffers of Al Quada etc and so you helped to fund the tickets that the hijackers bought to get on those planes

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I'm not going to give any excuses for what I do, and especially not in this thread. I have provided two fine ways to come in contact with me above if you feel it's necessary for me to state an explenation for my actions.

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Just don't insult me with the usual " It's not drug dealers that fund terrorists, it's the war on drugs, if it was made legal" etc garbage offered by the pro drugs lobby

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geez... that really bites. I'd haft to go with deadnail's advice here, prefebly the "get that lifeline on fucking hard and quick" to the "cut all ties and let her go" path. but I don't know shit.

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