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neubejiita

Incredible new game greenlit. Rock simulator.

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m8, I'm still waiting for a game called work simulator. It would be have exiting gameplay like doing paperwork, doing taxes, balancing budgets, and working as a wage slave in a cubical from 9 to 5. Let's make this happen steam. c'mon!

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I think this was done as an example of how developers can just shove shit onto Steam.

If it was not, then this is depressing.

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I made light switch simulator in Gzdoom Builder, but I am not shoving that on Steam. This is just a waste of Steam web space. Why not make a good open world shooter instead?

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reality 2.0 said:

m8, I'm still waiting for a game called work simulator. It would be have exiting gameplay like doing paperwork, doing taxes, balancing budgets, and working as a wage slave in a cubical from 9 to 5. Let's make this happen steam. c'mon!


There are too many work simulators already. They're just not disguised as work simulators.

So wtf rock simulator but not grass simulator? Everyone with a Youtube account says hurray more content!!!! What an awful trailer. More Unity shovelware.

Actually instead of raining on this, I'd like to praise the game Lyne. If you like puzzle games, you'd love Lyne. 650 puzzles and its a soothing, legitimately engaging games.

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Now we just need the paper simulator and scissors simulator.

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hey guys, check this out. There is a game called desert bus where you drive a bus from Tucson, Arizona to Las Vegas, Nevada. It's 8 hours real time. You can't even pause the game. However, this one was made poorly on purpose.

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Why is there so much praise in the comments? Because they think its funny!? The only reason this game exists is so that loud pain in the ass youtubers can think there funny by yelling out elementary styled jokes and rake up subscribers.

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actually, it was released in 1995 when games like DOOM were pretty controversial for its at the time realistic violence and everyone was really scared about realistic games. They decided to make fun of the controversy by making a stupidly realistic game.

but I agree, youtubers trying to be funny aren't very funny.

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Can we all just please admit that Steam and Greenlight and digital stores and Valve were all a miserable mistake and I wish they would all just go away.

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steam ain't perfect, but I can't call it a mistake. Also, It's been proven that digital download services are profitable. it's never gonna go away.

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reality 2.0 said:

actually, it was released in 1995 when games like DOOM were pretty controversial for its at the time realistic violence and everyone was really scared about realistic games. They decided to make fun of the controversy by making a stupidly realistic game.

but I agree, youtubers trying to be funny aren't very funny.

Oh I know that, I was referring to the rock simulator steam page rather than than the desert bus video, The comments on the steam page sounded like the typical valve fanboy giving it praise because for some reason they find a game about looking at digitized rocks hilarious, basically Internet "humor" consists of 22 year old men just screaming out the word "Penis!" for no reason which makes all the 8 year olds like and subscribe which results in more and more of these stupid videos getting released out on the internet, and that just pisses me off!

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And this is why they're thinking of pulling the plug on the greenlight system...

Doominator2 said:

basically Internet "humor" consists of 22 year old men just screaming out the word "Penis!" for no reason which makes all the 8 year olds like and subscribe which results in more and more of these stupid videos getting released out on the internet, and that just pisses me off!

Well said, mate.

Although, not all internet humor's like this.

Just the mainstream type, that garners about more than 10,000,000 subs.

Pretty depressing shit.

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So in summation, internet users are generally moronic. Breaking news left and right!

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geo said:

So wtf rock simulator but not grass simulator?

Would a Moss Growing on Rock simulator be an acceptable compromise?

If there isn't already a Watching Paint Dry simulator on Steam, there might be hope for me yet as a game developer.

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We need a sleep simulator that's just a black screen upon startup. This rock shit is too extreme for me.

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What about selling vanilla doom pwads on steam? as example No Rest For The Living is basicly just a pwad too. So you could upload some maps on steam just to get money from some stupid people who do not know about /idgames

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Doominator2 said:

basically Internet "humor" consists of 22 year old men just screaming out the word "Penis!" for no reason which makes all the 8 year olds like and subscribe which results in more and more of these stupid videos getting released out on the internet, and that just pisses me off!


This is true. Like the Sniper Elite 2 has reviews 10/10 shot a Nazi in the balls, is a top review with 1,000+ likes. Or Dead Space has 10/10 pooped my pants is a top review. Look at Shovel Knight's reviews and its all I can dig it, a shovel + knight = digging into new territory for games.

You can review against the flow and watch your review get buried. Like giving Towns, Fez, Earth 2066, and Nether recommended reviews and they'll be buried, while with every other review, give it a not recommended review and you'll be buried. I remember I had the #1 review for Fez and it was recommended... until that whole Phil Fish called off the sequel because he hates the Internet. My 98% liked review with 100+ likes suddenly became like 50%.

The Internet is just a pack of sheep.

Better yet, I started fucking with my reviews, turning not recommended into recommended. One of my not recommended reviews was buried, so I turned it into a recommended review and it climbed. Then someone pointed out for a recommended review it seems pretty negative, so I told him, yeah it was a test to see if people read reviews or just vote based on recommended or not.

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It's pretty sad how quick Steam reviews took a turn for the worst. When they introduced the system you saw genuinely helpful and constructive reviews;, now much of it is one-liners like you mention, youtubers plugging their own channel, and Brandon D. Lade type kids giving you a +/-/= breakdown and a score.

So far I still find the system useful, good reviews are around and weeding out the poor ones at a glance is easy. Plus, sometimes you get something from terrible reviews, i.e. if someone praises the game or dismisses it for trivial bullshit, then that's a point in the other direction.

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I saw Jim Sterling post something about Grass Simulator and actually headdesking. Which turned to be yet another shitty Unity game.

What.



Fuck these devs putting shovelware on Steam.

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What I don't understand is how that is a "grass simulator." Guns? What.

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