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Jaxxoon R

Id Deathmatch X-Treme

Wh0 $H@11 W1n?!?  

8 members have voted

  1. 1. Wh0 $H@11 W1n?!?

    • Kill it (Romero)
    • What have you done (Carmack)
    • LOL (Surprise)
    • What the hell does "sniggered" mean? (Tom Hall)

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John Romero stood. He looked all about the world around hims. The sectors were dark and spooky, so he could easily hide in them. But he knew--- he knew, that Shawn had the shotgun. Sahwb was very good at the shotgun, it let him hit things with his poor aiming skills. If he was fighting birds, he would win.

But Romero was not a bird.

Romero was reasdy to play!

Romero flew out of the dark sector with his Chain-gun and shot art Shawn with blinding hasty~! Shawn took many hits but stood behind a pillar and began to pop out like a cuckoo bird, shooting many pellerts at Romero. Romero started to be hurt bad, so he stood an a medkikit to take the power and make an "ouch"-ing face.

"I remembetr everything." Romero said. "I remember how to win most of all."

He flew like fast lost soudl at Shanw and blew out fifty different shots really fast like super fast. Shawn grew angry and hit ab barrely. It blew up and blasted Romero up onto a platform where hje was defencliense.

"You can't remember what you didn't see yet!" Shawn laughwed.

And then he put in -TURBO mode and grew super fast without fancy guns. he shot and shot and shot andh ot and ashot and shot and reomero flew backwards like a tissue in the wind. There was Romero blood allo n the walls since that.

Romero screamed "How could you program so good to put in your own super mode Shawn?"

"It didn't it was John Carmack thet did it! We are in cahoots!" He laucghed ligke a hyena and shot some more.

Romero dove away down a lift, not riding it because that would be too slow for a man being chased by ad mad man with -turbo in his blood. He dodged whatever he could and deflected the rest with his flowing man hair, but he didn't like to do that because it took out the conditioner.

He turned and dove down a chute an landed in his fancy car he got from all the DOOM money he got (It might have been a Jaguar, which woukd be funny because Doom was on the Jaguar, but I think it was a Farrari or something like that). he pressed the on key and turned it around and sped up and off.

He moved so fast that space and time distorted if he was so fast normal, in doom land cars must be pro death badass man mode. Shawn Greene tried to keep up by injecting more -TURBO into the server, but it was not enough.

"Now who is that smart guy, Carmack?" Romero mocked.

"I will get you yet, you lazy not-working fool!" Carmack sniggered. Then he returned to his private network. He said: "Green, return to me, we and will plot and plan to destryo rRomero."


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No "John Romero's bitch" option there. I'm disappoint.

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I remember the days when stories like these would get Hell'd.

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Joe667 said:

I remember the days when stories like these would get Hell'd.

Stories like this probably would never get Helled if posted in Blogs or Fanfictions, unless extremely obscene.

Cool story, by the way, it's even entertaining. There's a progress over all those Repercussions of Evil unoriginal rephrases.

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Author's Nortel:[b/]

[b]I will try really heir for better research now. It really was a Ferrari. I don't know about that comic thing, AddThis is all Id with no weird Smarty land people. Outhit about making pictures gr it, but now I see it's kind of ripoff now. PS I use spellchecker now.

John Romero went into his garage as stealthily as he could. He knew that if he moved too fast, his shiny hair would make super shines that Carmacks' could spot, so he used an umbrella to block the sun. There was much suns pence as he entered the Dark halls to find his best friend tom Hall, who would never betray him for no reason, yes.

John Romero was hiding the secrets of his house from John Carmack, so that's why it's underground and Carmack can't just shoot it with a missile. John Romero ran down the hall and turned to Tom Hall's direction and said to his friend Tom Hall:

"Tom Hall," John Romero said. "They're going to get you!"

Tom Hall stopped out his chainsaw that he stole from his girlfriend ( and was also using to cut ham and said.

"That is the thing, John Romero, Tom Hall said, They are also coming to get you!" And then he jumped forewarns and did twig flips in order to get ready. "We must stop them!" He said.

And then there was a siren roaring through the building. John Romero's wall slid down and in jumped the evil Dave D. Taylor. He had curly hair and looked quite posh and British, the exact opposite of Romero's distinctly straight hair and American-is metatarsal looks.

"THERE IS TIME FOR PRINCE." he bellowed.

Bobby Prince's ancient form whispered into the area, he did not partake in Deathmatch, for he was a distant and illusive being. He leaned in and brought with him many different songs, all flowing and exploding. Songs about vegetables, songs about Nazis, songs about space, and, yes, songs about Doom.

He finally said aloud "YOU CANNOT BEAT CARmac, REMORSO."

Romero became Avery anger, "//What do you mean, Prince?" "Carmcaka sis just a big nerd, he may be the programmer, but I am Death's match, Big Gib burro of doom."

Bobby prince shook his old head. "NO, HES" Hereabout Prince staid, "Thu NOBLY WAY YOU CAN STOP CORMACK IS IF YOU GET HELP FROM LAND FAR AWAY. YOU MUST ENTER SANDY'S CITY"

And then Berry Prince rolled way into the spectral either plane from whence he came. Romero grew auctions. Hall agreed with Prince.

"You must do what the things he say, because he is wise but not under Carmack's influenza because he is not in the deathmatch."

The evil Dave D. Tayler the n ran away, launching madly and with a noble-womanish craze. He giggled as he stole away so much wise. His stealthy escape went unnoticed by e John Romero and Tom Hall. They then took off got Sandy's City. But they forget to close the wall, because they thing Dave would woe it, abut he didn't!

Meanwhile, Back at the Carmack base.

Carmack sat all hunched and squiggly and blonde, as he usually is, and begane to type away at his keyboard trying to discover the legendary secrets of the world. Then the Shawn Green turned up and said so many things with anger at how he lost Romero. But Carmack smiled and said.

"They will be found, it is known that the Sector corridors are only stable within 32,767 map units of it's center, this base. Only a fool would exit outside of the block-map limit. There is a place without sanity or rules, the overflow causes strange things to happen."

"What?" Shawn Green Said.

A button flashed on the control deck of John Carmack';s. He looked in more at the screen.

"There is a change in the automap, a wall has gone!"

What happens next? You de!

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Jaxxoon R said:

John Romero's wall slid down and in jumped the evil Dave D. Taylor. He had curly hair and looked quite posh and British, the exact opposite of Romero's distinctly straight hair and American-is metatarsal looks.

I guess there's no escaping the stereotypes for us Brits... :D

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John Romero went with his best pall Rom Hal so get to the Land of Sandy Peterson. He went fast, but not too fast, and so did Hall. Because his bald shiny would reflect just as much as Romero's hair. This was the source of his power. They went very good and sneaky, and made sure to sidestep around corners. Tom Hall became scared of all the height variation and non-orthogonal architectural and he became scared and said

"I do not like not realism and story" said Tom Hall said.

"You are foolish and game would be slow and bad." Said Romero

"One day I will make game great story and emotional s with pioneer and award" Saudi Tom Hall

homeroom laughed mocking with his whipping hair head and took off fast. He went into a great gate of bad textures and weird ugly shapes that made the eye angry. Romero collapsed.

"The floor changes on the same height!:"

Tom Hall shook his hes d and they noticed a man smashing the gillies away with big fists of detail. He was glorious and had many a spooky thought in his mind. He turned to the group and despaired:

"The wretchedbad Peterson has filled this land with ugly and terror."

John Romero gasped and knew full force that the evil Szanfy Peterson must be destroyed. They knew that the act of creating, which had at once been dead simple, had been perverted. They shook their fists and stormed into the big ugly castle. The big scary Sandy Petersen stood on his throne of misaligned textures. He looked at the party before them and knew they were here to destroy him.

"Die and be dead and not here and enter a -1 length frame please, Sandy Peterson!" Roared them in unison.

"It is not my choice to live and make levels." He wiggled his eyebrows, "I am under contract to make many levels in too small a space of time. There is no choice but to rush." Said Sandy Peterson

"You call these levels?!" SCREAMED American McGee, "Your 'levels' are ugly, and bore people to death, you don't deserve to be on the id Software team!"

Sandy Petersen stood with his plaid shirt and made a crazy face of Sandy. Sandy shrieked as he laughed:

"Then stop playing games when you're supposed to be making them! Now die for no reason!"

Sandy snapped his suspenders and sent a super shock wave out at the team that sent them flying height into her arr. They came with a crash to the ground and ,lade a big crater den to their powers. He snapped his Sandy fingers and summoned his vampire Call of Cthulhu fans. They roared SANDY PETERSEN AJAJAJAJA and descended upon the group. John Romero took his hand and made it into a fist, then he bashed it into a vampire with a punch and turned him into salsa. American McGee stood up straight with his arms out and legs together and became a cross. The vampires hissed and recoiled and Romero crushed them with his flowing manhair. Sandy Peterson jumped down and stamped his big feet.


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