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hardcore_gamer

How often do you have casual sex?

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It appears that modern media culture glorifies casual sex between single individuals. In most tv shows the main characters have sex with a new person every other episode. But do real people actually do this? COULD they do this?

How often does the typical individual (not super models) actually have casual sex? Every week? Every month? Year? Somehow I have the feeling that the media is giving us bullshit expectations of how real life is like again.

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Never. Never ever ever. I think back to exes that I could just sack and kind of hold them to standards, reason and logic behind why would I fuck some casual? Like would they be as good as exes? People lie all the time or withhold truths. Are they diseased? Will you get some clingy stalker? Sure people say wear condoms, but sex is a full contact sport. Mouths can have herpes, heck even eyes can have herpes. I've gotten dumped by girls for not fucking them quick enough. It shows their character.

I have plenty of female friends that tell me about their casual sex, yet no male friends will tell me. Particularly two single women with no kids. Just never ending bars, guys, fucking, ditching them. They both complain guys want to stick around the next day and try to move in. Then they kick them to the curb. These sluts do exist. I don't think of them as sluts, but well casual strangers 3 nights a week...

I even know women that Craigslist just for the sex. Women as in I know them in real life. I was pretty shocked when 2 of them told me they Craigslist. Both single moms that kids go to sleep, they Craigslist hook up, then the guys are gone in an hour. wtf? Why would they admit that? It puts their kids at risk.

So it happens, at least here in Chicago.

Back when I used to bar hop with my cousin and our friends, we'd run into the clean up crews. The guys that go to the bar at 1 am, so they don't have to pay to put drinks in women, because they're sloshed enough. We'd recognize some people that would be going home with someone new every time we saw them. That doesn't mean they end up fucking. Sometimes it might result in vomit or shitting in a bed, but they're trying every night.

See and that's another problem they must be so bad that they don't have regulars, they need to prey on drunk strangers.

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In the past I have picked up a woman at a bar or party and have been picked up. It lead to some uncomfortable mornings and a trip to the clinic to get tested. Honestly, getting laid was not worth it in the end. The best advice I could give would be to start up a friends with benefits relationship with someone you can trust.

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If my single friends are anything to go by, then quite often - smart phones seem to have revolutionised hook-up culture. This, I'm informed, is the app du jour.

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I only watch tv series where the main characters are a bunch of losers who never have sex. I think there was one comedy series with casual sex, where the couple was almost fully clothed and were talking the whole time, etc. I tried it once, I almost forgot I was having sex, I talked for hours. I was really sleepy next day.

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There was this teddybear I had as a toddler who may have gotten more than he bargained for, but why is it such a big deal? Supermodels=more sex, lol

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You'll find it if you go looking for it. Although in the real world there exists such problems as: STI's, accidental pregnancies, unexpected jealous (ex?) partners, surprise trannies (lol), date rape drugs, and just fucked up people/situations in general... So no, not often.

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Nope, did so once long ago and was fortunate to get away with staying clean. I strongly object to this 'casual sex' BS and prefer friends with benefits or a relationship.

Also, bar hopping is disgusting.

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Well, hardcore_gamer, I hear that Iceland is THE place to go for casual sex, and one of the countries with the highest birth rates from single mothers. If you can't get laid/have casual sex there, then you're fucked (or wait...are you?).

FWIW, I found out from a dating site that my worst possible country, matches-wise, is the one I'm currently living in (Yunanistan). Heh, it figures.

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Maes said:

Well, hardcore_gamer, I hear that Iceland is THE place to go for casual sex, and one of the countries with the highest birth rates from single mothers.


This is actually why I am so turned off by our night life and take little interest in it. I do think the stories of horny Icelandic women are blown out of proportion, but I do agree that what Americans like to call "game" doesn't matter here at all. Once my friend got confronted by this girl who appeared to like him and just outright told him that she was wet. I will admit that I don't go often to the bars or parties, but I can't say that what I see paints our women in positive light. No, they aren't all sluts as some people say but I can't help but find it just slightly disgusting how personality doesn't seem to matter AT ALL when they pick their sex partners. Basically Icelandic women pick their sexual partners in the same way men do ö_ö

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Me neither lols.

Having a few friends is generally good enough for me. Even when I don't have friends around, I'm generally okay as well. My therapist says I have intimacy issues. Probably right about that.

Fuck love
Snort drugs, make songs, go skate

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The people I've known who had the most casual sex also seemed to have the most trouble connecting with people emotionally. They seem to like it, so I'm happy to leave them to it.

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TheCupboard said:

Fuck love
Snort drugs, make songs, go skate


But, like, duuude, drugs are all about love and unity maaaaaan. Peace and bondage and... flowers. They're igniting my brain yo.

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When I was dating around, it wasn't entirely unusual to have sex with someone new every week or so. It wasn't super casual, since this was mostly with women I had already been on several dates with, women I had come to know over the course of a few weeks in most cases.

I passed up a lot of easy opportunities on the grounds that it's just ultimately not as enjoyable as intimate sex. Casual sex is good if that's all you can find or accomplish (i.e. it's still better than no sex), but if you have the capacity to care about other people, it's in your self-interest to do it with someone who really means something to you.

Within the framework of intimacy where you both derive genuine gratification from each others' pleasure, you essentially get twice the satisfaction for your input. This shared increase in pleasure in turn strengthens intimacy, which further increases overall pleasure, which adds to the intimacy even more, and so on. That's not even taking into consideration that dedicated parters will get better and better at knowing what the other likes, over time.

[Fun coincidence: I took a break while typing this up to have some wildly passionate (but decidedly noncasual) sex.]

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The thing about casual sex, particularly about how hardcore_gamer describes it in his last post, is that its not quite as good unless you have to work for it. It's the anticipation that makes it great, the way some women play hard to get, and how you don't always succeed or have to take a girl on a few dates before she's willing to fuck that makes it worth while.

If you have women just throwing themselves on to you 24/7, having sex feels more like shooing away a nuisance.

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