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Waffenak

Demon workout

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Do you ever wonder how demons keep themselves in such good physical form? What kind of gym plan they have. Cyberdemon obviously squats alot, archvile does nothing but runs and so does revenant. Mancubus is a mystery: His biceps are small compared to weight of his guns. Barons and hellknights have most balanced muscle build.

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They're probably killing each other and various hell wildlife when they're not fighting enemies. I imagine Doom's version of hell to be a very chaotic, brutal and unforgiving place where societal order is kept through violently enforced hierarchy.

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Sodaholic said:

They're probably killing each other and various hell wildlife when they're not fighting enemies. I imagine Doom's version of hell to be a very chaotic, brutal and unforgiving place where societal order is kept through violently enforced hierarchy.


This. It's always a fight to the death in hell. And because it's always a life or death issue, the demons are going to be very strong cause only the strong survive.

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Monsters, genetically engineered mutants and supernatural beings in fictions (games, movies, literature) are always overpowered. Otherwise they wouldn't be interesting. From a real life scientific view (genetical research, anomaly statistics), it's extremely unlikely that a newly found species (or genetical experiment specimen, or anything) would suddenly get to possess a great physical power or fully-reliable strange ability. Fiction creators take advantage of the unknown-ness of the new fictional world they're just making, and so they give their creations imposing abilities, which might be easily found unrealistic at closer view. It's natural and understandable. :)

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You may want to compare demon fitness with great ape strengh or the strength of pretty much any animal, compared to its body size and weight, vs human strength. They are simply built differently, they have shorter lifespans, and routinely push their bodies to extremes and strains that an unconditioned human wouldn't, under normal circumstances. Ask any special ops veteral how "well" they feel after they hit their mid 30s...

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Spider Mastermind probably does a lot of free weights.
Chaingunners do a lot of carbohydrate-loading and bulking up with protein powder.
Imp I think prefers the tanning booth more than body sculpting, still has a healthy body-mass-index though.
Pinky probably pushes large boulders up a hill each morning.
Mancubus must have a powerful set of core abdominal muscles underneath the fat deposits.
Baron of Hell definitely hits the juice, steroids and 'roid-rage to the max.
Lost Soul definitely a sprinter and star for track and field.

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I wonder if the Spider Mastermind has any alternative workouts? I mean, I'm assuming there are some form of legs attached to the bottom of that giant brain (unless the chaingun is operated differently?). I can't imagine sitting in that metal spider exoskeleton all day long. Is the spider demon permanently attached to the metal legs or no?

If not, I wonder what it does with its free time outside of work O_o. Cardio perhaps?

EDIT: That Mancu picture made my day. I'm still giggling at it.

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walter confalonieri said:

I think they make all workout with this music, especially zombies.


Noice, someone else has also found these wonderful UG synthwave channels on youtube, I recommend maniacsynth and newretrowave also if you like this kind of music

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Waffenak said:

Noice, someone else has also found these wonderful UG synthwave channels on youtube


Heh....and to think I'd call this the exact same sound that module music or some types of Italo Disco have ;-)

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Pure Hellspawn said:

This. It's always a fight to the death in hell. And because it's always a life or death issue, the demons are going to be very strong cause only the strong survive.


One problem with this argument: Everybody in hell is already dead. Won't the demons just respawn somewhere?

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hardcore_gamer said:

One problem with this argument: Everybody in hell is already dead. Won't the demons just respawn somewhere?

I prefer to imagine Doom's hell not as a literal (religious) hell, but as a strange world / dimension that resembles what we imagine to be hell. Different physical and biochemical laws might apply there (also sociological, between the demons), but it's still just a material place. In this case, a rough, wild and hostile place.

In addition, even if it was as you said: Yes, the demons will respawn. Stronger than before. :)

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hardcore_gamer said:

One problem with this argument: Everybody in hell is already dead. Won't the demons just respawn somewhere?


Maybe it works like Alastor explains at the end of Painkiller (small spoiler if you haven't played) :P

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Tsk. Everybody knows that demons just jog and march in-place waiting for Doomguy to appear. The only ones appearing perfectly still when not doing anything are Cacos and PEs. No wonder they are such big round fatasses. Even the Manc at least works those arms while idle.

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Well, come on, that "idle dance" they do when they haven't seen Doomguy yet has to be worth something if they just stand there doing it all day.

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They workout by Imp standards. They weight about twenty pounds each, and they get skewered onto poles for lifting.

"So Cyb, how many Imps you lift today?"

"Like, twenty, Manc. Duh. Fatass. Go lift some Imps yourself, handless freak."

"You fuck you, man."

"Come at me br--"

"MAAANCUUBIIIIIII" *FWOOOSH FWOOOSH FWOOOOSH"

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Clonehunter said:

"MAAANCUUBIIIIIII" *FWOOOSH FWOOOSH FWOOOOSH"


And then he gets promptly blown to bits afterward. :D

Honestly, I think they have muscles just because they can. They're wicked beings with only one thing on their one-track minds: malice. So why shouldn't they have rippling muscles that makes it easier to conquer humans, especially the average joe? Fuck, why not throw in a few intimidating, skewering-capable horns and spikes while we're at it?

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Memfis said:

CAUTION: WIDE LOAD


I've seen those ladies at my YMCA. Sometimes they jump in the pool and all the water empties out. Have to go home then, can't swim laps in ankle deep water...

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Clonehunter said:

They workout by Imp standards. They weight about twenty pounds each, and they get skewered onto poles for lifting.

So they're significantly bulkier than the average human yet only weigh 20? Somehow that doesn't add up.

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Sodaholic said:

So they're significantly bulkier than the average human yet only weigh 20? Somehow that doesn't add up.

200 seems more probable.

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Sodaholic said:

So they're significantly bulkier than the average human yet only weigh 20? Somehow that doesn't add up.


They're just animated blow up dolls filled with some hot air. 20 pounds of hot air.

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