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Blueworrior

Looking back on your younger, stupider self.

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So i was reading through my really old posts back in 2010 and... jeez. I said so many stupid things it makes me wanna curl up in a ball and die. But I suppose I was too young to be posting in forums in the first place.
Is it just me and my insecure self, or does anyone else get that urge to review old stuff and get really embarrassed about yourself after seeing what you said?
I've made a pledge to myself to only say something if i certain it's not going to be dated in a year or two. I don't want to look back and see how shit I was anymore.

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I don't like reliving my older posts, but once I get the urge, I just feel the need to look back and see, out of curiosity. I never learn to just leave well alone and I always regret even looking in the first place.

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I was a dumb motherfucker.

And ten years from now, I'll look back to me now and say:

"I was a dumb motherfucker future curse from the FUTURE."

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I was a stupid boy and a stupid online user who was a brony. I cringe when my bad young memories surface.

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I spammed Massasi.net with shit posts that I thought were useful when I was young internet dweller. I also abused the ever loving shit out of an animating suicide smiley. I started the slow ascension of sobering up (growing up) some (shitty) mods I made actually got hijacked from a thread of mine and I was impersonated on GameFront/FileFront/Whatever it was back then. That was after I gloated about being able to make a Jedi Outcast mod without their help, too. Looking back... Holy shit was that bad.

My early posts here are also quite bad, and I don't think I've gotten any better. I don't post as much, though. I think.

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Well if it's any consolation, one of my very first Doomworld posts had a direct link to a violent pornographic website. Needless to say, I was Loser'd for that.

Probably not my finest moment.

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Almost all of my shitposting was on a forum that deleted it's posts every few months to clean up. :3 A small amount of it is on here, but nothing too horrific.

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it's like looking back at photos of yourself from the 80's and wondering what fucking sadist cunt cut your hair for the duration of that decade.

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I largely haven't changed during my online and real life self. Yeah I've made posts I regret and had been incorrect at times, but I never was a bad person. I've only been using the net for 11 years....was too cheap to have the internet back then.

Although this forum has helped me a lot in Doom modding, and I am grateful for that!!

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Totally different person in 2002, that's for sure. I had other old accounts (my oldest only goes as far back as 2001).

Yuck, how embarrassing my life was then.

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Back then, I was young and stupid and full of potential. Now, I'm a little older, still stupid, and have a lot less potential.

Meh.

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Those were the days. I'm glad they're gone.

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Luckily, the one major site I posted on for an RTS disappeared perhaps 9-10 years ago. I was a total scrub, posting as any prepubescent capable of operating a keyboard would. I couldn't even tell you what I wrote about, that memory is completely a blur, but I remember achieving over 1200 posts on a relatively small community in rapid pace. It is a blessing I don't remember any of the details.

Then there was a secondary site for the same RTS game, only 500 posts made at that domain. I thought I was being an absolute mongoloid most of the time but then they made me a moderator. I helped maintain and facilitate community activites in a laissez-faire manner. Then the site disappeared 5 years later. Sad stuff. Stronghold has had a long downward spiral since Firefly Studios butchered it so horrendously with Stronghold 2 and every edition beyond that.

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I read my Contra fan fiction from 6 years ago and laughed my ass off. So many spelling errors, because I did it on the fly here at Doomworld.

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Yeah we've all been there. I've done my share of thoughtless shitposting on sites that have long since disappeared, though I'm far more embarassed about my behaviour when I got into a bona fide love triangle on a particularly close-knit forum. We jest about the internet being serious business, but it really can be.

I think my Doomworld track record is fairly clean. No Losering. My posts are so infrequent these days that most of you probably don't even know who I am.

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j4rio said:

I'm just getting more cynical and bitter the older I get.


I feel you bro. Though I have kind of moved past being bitter and am now just merely cynical.

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I've always thought I was an "old fart" of sorts, even among peers. The older I get the more I actually feel that way.

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Linguica said:

Just the other day I randomly somehow came across a post from almost exactly a decade ago that I had no memory of writing and which was super shitty and rude. I'm sure there's more where that came from.


This gives me the incredible idea of going back and editing all of my shit posts into something mature, witty, and gentlemanly.

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As I've gotten older, I feel LESS cynical than I was when I was younger. As a matter of fact, some people who are older than me seem even less so. Usually, if you have things going well for yourself, you won't have to become cynical and bitter. Though, if you've struggled throughout your life, I can see how time can take its toll.

In regards to posting, I was certainly a lot more pretentious, and easily baited into flame wars when I was younger. I was banned from Metal-Archives twice. They even banned my IP address completely in 2008; I'm still banned to this day. I had extremely crude and vulgar humor; some of it seemed pretty forced. But at least my band's profile lives on, and was updated since less than a year ago. They had a weird policy, that they would never omit bands from their data base, even at the band's request.

EDIT: I'd like to say that the DW Metal/Rock thread is a lot cooler as a place to share music, than the entirety of Metal-Archives. Fuck them. But in all fairness, I probably would have banned me too, back then.

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Physician, google thyself.

Can't decide if that is awesome or tragic. Also need to press for recognition of myself as the most losered / resurrected member of the forum. That shit should count for something.

Sidenote, the blogs function on the forum actually gives a fairly amusing time capsule for people who actually use the damn thing. Bit pissed off with myself for throwing a bitch-fit and deleting all the comics I had stored in there.

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PRIMEVAL said:

Back then, I was young and stupid and full of potential. Now, I'm a little older, still stupid, and have a lot less potential.

Meh.

Yeah, pretty much this.

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Looking back on your younger, stupider self ... Oh shit, this thread has archived some of the memories of my really dumb and immature self back in my teens. Long story short, I was an annoying whiny bastard. Now that I'm almost 22 years old, I try not to think about my younger self.

I think I was either 18 or 19 years old when I joined Doomworld and I've made plenty of stupid posts especially in the Everything Else forum.

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