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part one, bit dry

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well i have gone off doom fanfic for a little while but here is part of my newest monster. tell me what u think.

The air was blowing strong to the east as John looked outward onto the waste land to the west. The sky was growing black as the storm rolled in. Bits of dusts and other debris rolled and tumbled across the sandy ground in front of John’s watch tower. Drops of rain fallowed a distant thunder. John pulled the thin plastic hood over his head. He then covered his rifle wife a clear tarp. His radio beeped and a static-distorted voice could be heard. “Attention guards of the west wall. Seven cartel mercs have been spotted two kilometers out. Kill on sight!” the voice died with the crack of thunder. John peered out of his small roofless and battered cement tower into the now rain soaked field. He raised the scope of his rifle to his eye and looked towards a small hill. Several moments later two shadow like figures came into focus. He fired and one dropped. John then dropped down to his knees. He could not tell if it was thunder or gun shots coming his way. A shrill sound filled the air and john leaped out onto the walk way on top of the wall. A rocket smashed into the wall under the watch tower.
“Shit! What was that?” he screamed as he reached for his weapon. Another soldier ran from his tower to aid John.
“Hey John you alright? “ he asked. Suddenly he fell and grabbed his neck, then came the sound of the shot. John reached for the radio in the fallen man’s pack.
“Command I am under fire! The bastards killed Aaron and destroyed my tower with a rocket. I need backup now!” he screamed. A few shots hit the wall and the small ledge protecting John . He lay quite until a second whistle was heard. He quickly rolled off to the other side as the second rocket hit the wall. This one hit farther down than the one that nearly killed him. Soon he heard the sound of a truck behind him. The battered old military truck stopped ten meters in front of John and then fired a mortar into the air. Water ran down John’s face as he got up. Thunder, gun shots, wind and rain could be the only things heard. The soldiers moved quick and silent. The truck had the familiar and friendly letters “U. A. C.” printed in bright yellow. Soon it was quite except for the raging storm. John looked for his rifle and radio. He only found his rifle and the few shattered remains of his radio near his fallen friend. He climbed the battered pile of cement that was once part of his watch tower and wall. The land beyond was scared by the craters of the mortar truck.
“Hey John!” a voice yelled. “sorry we didn’t make it in time. Command says there has been a few other disturbances like this else where.”
“I can’t believe the bastards got Aaron… why would they attack here?” John murmured.
“Don’t worry about that cause we got bigger problems. Command thinks that the two remaining dominate cartels joined forces so they could take control of this area. Command also thinks that they want to take this city first. If that’s true that means the war starts again.” the older soldier said. “now get your ass on that truck! “The newbies and I will clean of this shit hole.”
“Yes sir!” John replied. He then jumped into the back of the old truck. The truck rattled and shook as it crossed the beaten land. The water made the trip even worse as the truck slipped down hills and struggled to climb them. After ten minutes of uncomfortable and wet conditions John and a few soldiers arrived at a make shift base. The base was made from a large warehouse. Junk was used to add armor or to repair damage. The base was at the west side of the city. The soldiers lived in tents but some lived inside small shacks made from scrap metal or cars. John and a few others still lived with family inside the city. John was heading home to see his mother, brother and sister. He would also visit the grave yard to see the burial of Aaron and the visit graves of his other fallen friends and even his father, Lucas.
John remembered how things where before the U.A.C. came to power. The cities, government and people where controled by drugs and gangs. The US had become so stuck in the abuse of drugs that gangs and large cartels where soon running the show. His father and others formed a small faction called the U.A.C. or United American Core. Within a few months they controlled most of the city. However the war started as the government’s last good men Joined the UAC. John was only nine. A year later the city, and in fact a large part of the east coast, was in UAC control. Sadly John’s father died before such a stunning victory in the final battle for his home city. They named their city Freeport and started their government. For the next five years the UAC fought for control and to survive. However things got less intense as the dealers, gangs and cartel leaders began to fight among them selves. Now six years later the war may be starting up once more as the cartels have finally joined forces. John soon put his thoughts behind him as he began to walk home. It was now time for family not war.

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I see spelling mistakes ('quite' instead of 'quiet' for instance).

Otherwise, a good and interesting story, though I find it a bit strange that John is first subjected to bombardment, then the truck shows up and then there doesn't seem to be any enemy fire anymore?

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