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NiGHTMARE

Getting hosted (what NOT to do)

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You've got an utterly horrible project on the go.

Your planned features:

- 32 levels of 90 degree rooms and virtually no height changes. Actually, some levels are good, but they were ripped from other .wads (without credit of course)

- A few ripped textures (no credit)

- Ripped midis (again no credit)

- Possibly a few (completely inappropriate) ripped sprites (no credit, damn it!)

You think you're getting close to release (in fact it'll be scrapped in a few weeks, but you don't know that yet), so you want some publicity. Solution: hosting on Doomworld!

Step 1: Send that "sausage guy" an e-mail telling him about how your mega-partial-total-source-conversion will be the best one ever, and that he should host you.

Step 2: Start getting pissed off when he doesn't reply for two whole days (he's not allowed a life, after all).

Step 3: Ling's asked you to set up a sample page on some freespace. After him explaining to you what Geocities is (you've never heard about it before), you should (very reluctantly) do so.

The website is complete crap, the few screenshots you put up are of the worst levels (in the worst rooms), and the story is complete nonsense (during the first attack on the Phobu and Deimon bases, located deep underneath the surface of Mers, the aliens also took over a UAD base in close orbit of the sun), but of course you think it's all brilliant.

Step 4: Ling didn't agree about your project's brilliance. What now? Flame him to oblivion of course! You have to make about ten post in each Doomworld forum as well, telling everyone on Doomworld that they're a bunch of "ball shit snakes" or whatever.

Step 5: Set up your useless site on a Doomworld rival such as "Neudoom.com".

Step 6: Start sending news of your site to other Doom news webpages, including Doomworld.

Step 7: Get pissed that Doomworld refuses to post your news, even though you'd called Ling a "mother-licking, father-sucking, baby raping, goat lover".

Step 8: Set up the "Bomb Doom World!!!!!!!!1111" webring, of which there are two members (the other one is your mum).

Step 9: Leave the webring, and your site, to rot, confident in the knowledge that they won't be deleted because your hosts are scared that they'll be accused of "facisim" if you do (which is one of the things you originally said about Doomworld).


Disclaimer: none of the events or persons described above are intended to represent real people. Any co-incidences or similarities are simply that.

Disclaimer to the disclaimer: that's bollocks of course.

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While we are on the topic of getting hosted... Do you have to pay to get hosted? I've been thinking about it. And if you want to see what it looks like go to:
www.devin-afshin.com/DDU/DDUMain.htm

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What does AFAIK mean? I hope it is not along the lines of "just kidding".

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Lazer said:

While we are on the topic of getting hosted... Do you have to pay to get hosted? I've been thinking about it.

Getting hosted by Doomworld is of course absolutely free. In fact there are lots of benefits ('unlimited' FTP space, support for LMP, PHP and Perl, email accounts, plan/log files, and more) For more information on getting hosted see the appropriate section here on Doomworld. Basically:

1) Ling wants to see how your site looks in advance. Crappy horrible sites don't make it, especially if it's a project or 'clan' site.

2) The site has to pertain to Doom (or Doom-related such as Hexen), and Doom only. Also, no copyrighted stuff (such as Simpsons Doom - we'll get sued :)

3) Your site has to cover something 'unique' that we don't have already. For example, a site that has a list of all source ports doesn't make it, because we already have such a feature; a review or project site however is considered unique.

4) The site has to be updated regulary. Exceptions can be made for resource sites.

5) Once hosted, stick to some simple hosting rules. Those aren't restricting, btw... just common sense stuff like, 'do not use Doomworld's FTP space to store your pr0n collection'. Yes, Fanatic, I'm talking to you (hehe, just kidding!)

A lot of sites that get rejected here are project sites. Advice for those looking to host their project site here: have a nice, simple, READABLE design and make very clear that your project didn't get started on a whim. By 'making clear' I mean: have for example a few screenshots up to show off what has been done by yourself already. We just can't start hosting sites for just-started projects, however nice they look... 95% of those projects evaporate when their creator realises he doesn't have time to finish it.

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There's not enought time in my life to start and keep going a site of any kind.
I wish I were so lucky so that I could start and maintain a web-site, but not in this life-time.

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