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SCENE: Typical teenage girl's bedroom. SANDRA, JULIE, and LISANNE (three fashionable high school girls) are doing their nails and gossiping.

SANDRA: Hey guys, did I tell you that that Imp boy on level 3 asked me out?

JULIE: He's kind of cute, I guess, but I would *not* date another imp. The last one I went out with scratched a big hole in my letter jacket and set my mom's rose bushes aflame with a fireball.

LISANNE: You guys are so gross. I would NEVER go out with a demonic minion unless he was at least a Hell Knight.

SANDRA: Yeah, right Lisanne. You'd be lucky to get a date with a Mancubus.

LISANNE (throwing pillow at SANDRA): Ugh! Take that back, you little bitch.

JULIE: Oh, please Lisanne. We saw you making eyes at that Cacodaemon on our field trip to the weapons repository last month.

SANDRA: Yeah, Lisanne. Plus, Lorie told me in biology the other day that the only reason you wanted your driver's license was so you could go cruising for zombie shotgun troopers on Saturday nights.

LISANNE: Hmph. Well I heard *YOU* spent an awful lot of time down on level 4 last weekend, getting pretty cosy with all those chaingunners.

SANDRA: That's NOT true! Take that back, you bitch!

LISANNE (sneering): Make me!

SANDRA reaches under her bed, withdraws a pistol, and fires a round into LISANNE'S shoulder. Moments later, the bedroom door opens and a shotgun-toting DOOM Marine bursts in.

MARINE: What the hell is going on here?

SANDRA: Sorry dad, just a little girl talk. We won't be so loud.

MARINE scowls at SANDRA, then looks at LISANNE, who is rubbing her wounded shoulder.

MARINE: Are you okay?

LISANNE: Yes sir, I'm fine. Nothing a stimpack won't fix.

MARINE looks at each girl with an annoyed expression, then shakes his head and leaves.

LISANNE: I can't believe you just did that to me. Just for that I'm not going to take you with me to Tommy's party this weekend.

JULIE: You mean Tommy the arch-vile? He is SUCH a hunk! How did *YOU* get invited to that party?

LISANNE: He didn't exactly invite me, but I figure that if I show up with some beer in one hand and a BFG in the other, he's not exactly going to turn me away...

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Guest Dest-01
Ralphis said:

roflmao. That's one of the funniest doom related jokes ive seen in a long time.


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Guest Cacodemon Leade

Tommy the archvile? Convincing but not as convincing as MACVILEWHORE. Funny Play though. I especially like it when the DOOMGuy busts in holding a shotgun! Like it's so funny!

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Guest Liam the Bard

What do the kids look like?


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Guest Liam the Bard
Lüt said:



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Um, Ling, sometimes you really scare me. I think I'll just go stand over -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------> here, where it's safe.

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Guest Nuno Correia

that sucked

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Guest PFCRon

Where in the hell did you get that?

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Ling, I don't know whether to:

A)slap you upside yo head, for bein' dumb! :P


B)give you a beer, and setup you up wit da finest hoe in da crib, cuz dat be some funny shit!!!

Crazy stuff dawg, you should post more shit like dat if you find it!!

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