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deadnail

Oh thank dear God it's Friday!!

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Boy oh boy what a fun day this has been. Hoo man, it just keeps getting better and better too.

First of all, Tetzlaff, I will get around to making an sans-audio .mpg of the Turok 2 shotgun. I just dug out my N64 and God is my sock drawer a mess. I've got around fifty empty packs of cigarettes that I need to tear the miles off of in there, and to make things worse, I can't find any flints for my Zippo. Don't worry though, I WILL make that tape as soon as I get my mandatory 3 hours of weekend-sleep in.

Now then, Tsareppsun, that's a nice movie of Metal Gear 2, unfortunately, it crashed my Windows. God I hate Quicktime, the grainy and damn obsolete trash. Why don't they just use Indeo 5 AVI's instead?


Okay, children, gather 'round the cloud of smoke and let Uncle deadnail tell you a tale, a tale of perversion, idiocy, and mental retardation. Fear not, Linguica, I shall try to keep this as tasteful as I possibly can.

Okay, my boss, "Cumdunt" as I shall refer to him, hasn't been around the factory in a good week or two. Well, I didn't care much, I could still listen to my boombox that wasn't allowed and basically do as I please so long as it looked good on paper. Things were cool. I had a new boss, a guy from first shift that was basically pissed off to have his schedule jumped backwards 8 hours suddenly. I shall call him, "Dingo", just because I'm feeling lurfy.

I hadn't seen Cumdunt in a very long time. In fact, the last time I saw him was when he was leaving in his new SUV. Cumdunt was a model asskisser. He painted the floors regularly, and he even remade the women's bathroom. He let us do as we please so long as we had everything in order before the big bosses rolled in at six AM. He even had a good sense of humor about him and was genuinely a pleasant, well mannered person to be around. So, rumors were flying that since he crashed his PC again that he was going to be fired. It seemed all nice and neat.

Until I got to work at 10 PM last night. BTW, yes, I am the type of person who'd rather be at work 40 minutes early than 1 minute late. Sue me. I love this job.

Well, I got to talking to Dingo and he said that he was officially now our Supervisor until further notice. Well, that was odd. Me and the rest of our crew on third shift (a scant 15, at best) started chatting with the 2nd shifters. The cops were there. In fact, they were photographing the woman's bathroom for a good 40 minutes the laziest guy on 2nd told me. Why, how odd.

Oh, and Cumdunt? He's fired, all right. He's also in County Jail pending trial.

What did he do? Well, when he remade the women's bathroom he drilled holes in the wall and planted a few very small video cameras in the woodwork.

Yes, that nice, well tempered person was videotaping the ladies on our shift doing their 'personal' business. Naturally all the femmes on our shift got the day off free and paid. Leaving... five guys to run the shop. The biggest hit was the Ford truck window department... it's $10,000 a shift production was sliced below half. As for my department... I was the only person there. The only person. So, I said to Hell with it, grabbed some stools from the other machines and placed my boombox in a proper position to rail Fear Factory all over the area. It was quite nice. In fact, Dingo and the maintenance man hung around my area for a while during my Type O Negative CD. Hey, I have fans. :)

So, there it is, kids. My favorite boss ever just got fired for extreme sexual harassment. What's the bad news, you ask? Well, naturally you figure those women are going to sue everyone they can; Hell, I would! The bad news is, there's enough women videotaped to drive my company straight into the ground and I might be out of the best job I've ever had! I'm not trying to sound self centered but I've worked damn hard in the last year or so to get in such good standing and for what, some megapervert to drive it all to Hell. Boy, if it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all. I hope that really cute girl that was sick heard about it...

Now then, here's the ultracreepy part. Cumdunt, it seems, his big purpose was to videotape... his sister in law. Yikes! I like her too. She's small, very cute, and very shy. She didn't need this kind of Karma. The light side of this story is that I know her husband. He's seven and a half feet tall and his biceps are literally much bigger than my fat THIGHS. So, even if Cumdunt manages to avoid becoming prison-bitch of cellblock D he's going to get stomped into a coma. Like I said, I know her husband, and he's got a -lot- of assualts on his record so I know what kind of a temper he has. I wish I could get *THAT* on video!

I'm usually the jokester on my shift. Today, since it was just us guys, we joked -a whole lot- about Cumdunt becoming a prison-bitch. Sunday, assuming my plant still exists, I'm going to have to play it real friendly-like. I like most of the girls there, they're decent people. I hope they come back to work. If Cumdunt's sister returns, I'm going to be super nice to her and I'm never even going to mention it. Why would I?

She deserved much better than this.

Now, here's some more great news. You know how they caught him? Well, first of all, you understand that an at-work PC has a great internet connection ne? When he crashed his OS again they sent it to the home office in Ohio for a full-on repair and upgrade. Standard procedure at EVERY company is to fully check the harddrives before reformatting.

This is how they caught him? He had the movies ON HIS COMPUTER? Why? The only logical reason is the internet connection! So what the Hell, was he sending these movies somewhere? If so, where? Voyeurs.com or something? Was he mailing them to his friends? What kind of a sicko was he?

If I see *ANY* of the girls I know on a popup ad some site is going to get SEVERELY smashed. That's all I'll say and most of you here should have a decent clip of what I can do when I'm pissed.

Well, that's enough for now, I guess.

Fun story, ne? Gee, I hope I have a job when the weekend's up.

Well, Tetzlaff, unfortunately I must return to the, gasp, Real World TM, so it might be a day before you can see that movie. It's the weekend, don't wait for it. :)

Oh, and Linguica, I've noticed a lot of people around here stole my corpse.gif... so I've made a new one, aptly titled 'deadnail.gif'. I've already emailed you so when you can turn it on that'd be cool. Thanks.

Well, I'm outtee.
Peace yaul.
Don't commit any felonies while I'm gone.

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Hey man. Don't sweat it. You won't lose your job over this. In the US (that's where you are from right?), no company or business is allowed to be sued for so much money that they can be forced to close. Such laws are there to protect innocent bystanders like yourself moreso than the actual company.

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deadnail said:

Now then, here's the ultracreepy part. Cumdunt, it seems, his big purpose was to videotape... his sister in law. Yikes! I like her too. She's small, very cute, and very shy. She didn't need this kind of Karma. The light side of this story is that I know her husband. He's seven and a half feet tall and his biceps are literally much bigger than my fat THIGHS. So, even if Cumdunt manages to avoid becoming prison-bitch of cellblock D he's going to get stomped into a coma. Like I said, I know her husband, and he's got a -lot- of assualts on his record so I know what kind of a temper he has. I wish I could get *THAT* on video!


Wait... so if she's Cumdunt's sister-in-law, doesn't this make that husband of hers Cumdunt's real brother?

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Lüt said:

Provided the business is Incorporated.

Lüt, yes, that does make him his brother. If YOUR brother made a tape of YOUR wife just to hose wrestle, wouldn't you kick his ass?

Sthyprzhker, or whatever the Hell your nick is. Sorry man... I've been up for around... um, twenty hours or something, the last four of which were spent on the road... so I'm not really here. Yeah, I know about those laws. Flakier lawsuits have won, however, and all it takes is one sneaky lawyer to find a loophole big enough for alla the girls to jump through...

So anyway, I get off work, chug a two liter of Mountain Dew, crank up Fear Factory's classic Demanufacture album again and type out that practically meaningless post. Then I just said screw it and ran off to South Bend, Indiana. I hate Best Buy. I wanted to slam that yuppies face right into the floor. How stupid are people, anyways? I actually saw a yuppie explaining to two hippies that you have to -look- through one end of the camcorder and you see what's on the other end. God, they just don't make enough bullets anymore.

Sorry if I seem bitter. I'm tired, I really want to get completely hammered, in fact, I want to rig up a LAN at my cousins and alternate between steamroller hits and Doom Legacy deathmatches and coops. They get really, really fun a few hours in.

Oh yeah, new flints work so nice.

Anyway. Good news... um, I just got the latest Moonspell album. If you don't know about Portugese Atheistic Goth Death Metal, then dammit where've ya been?

It's extracting right now at 1x so I can encode it at 256kbps and never have to worry about buying it again. Back before I got a PC I had to buy the Images and Words album three damn times!

Oh yeah. I also just got System Shock 2. Apparantly, from all the cynical game reviewers, it's supposed to be the absolute best FPS in history, completely ripping Half-Life to hell and back it's just that it didn't get any press. Oh well. The CD cost more than that game so I guess it doesn't matter.

GODDAMN this CD kicks ass! It seems they got a synth section now. Nice. I hope this CD is mostly English.

What else can I add? My deadnail.gif isn't working yet.

Anyway, here's an interesting note. I was perusing the game sections of BB for a good half an hour, and I just couldn't make up my mind. I first looked for Parasite Eve 2 which of course those bastards didn't have. I grabbed Chrono Cross, but put it back because it seemed like too much of a commitment at this time. Besides, it'll be half as much soon enough. Some stupid surfer game came with free "Sex Wax". I remember using that stuff for my guitar. Anyways, then I hit the DC section and grabbed MvC2. Fifty bucks? Screw that. Put it back. Too damn much. Then I saw DC Keyboards. Wow, finally. I've looked and looked but hey, there they are. $25. I held it for a while, examining the box... then realised, it's just a completely normal keyboard, not even with any analog controls. Besides, why would I use the DC browser when I have a P3-450? Put it back too. They also had Turok 3, but at fifty bucks I'm going to wait for the PC version. I'd like the framerate to be higher than just single digits.

God my room is a mess. Half of the floor is covered in empty cigarette packs, the rest in miscellaneous crap ranging from a disassembled stereo that I will fix eventually to my N64, cords draping everywhere, sitting half way in a half full ashtray.

Wait, none of you care. Oh yeah.

So, anyways, I got back to the PC section and found Deus Ex for forty five. Looked at it, decided against it. Also saw Aliens Versus Predator Platinum, also forty. Jeez. Games cost too damn much. I'm sitting on a little under four hundred bucks and everything just sucks too much.

I finally gave up and left that cankering hole of yuppies. Got to Media Play, found a collection of games that was top of the line five years ago. God, I hate that store. What a joke.

Just to let you know, out there, if you can't buy all the games you want... that's a good thing. It's only going to be so long before you start to realise that you're getting disillusioned with the whole industry. There's better things to spend your money on. Such as an internet connection so you can rant off your problems to people that you have no idea who they are.

Well, just so you know, I'm 20 and live in the extreme South West of Michigan.

Looking at the to-be released games of tomorrow... the only ones I care about are Doom 3, Duke 4, and Red Faction. The rest can burn in hell... where they belong.

Anyways, I think I'm going to see if I can't get some 'ludes or something.

For now, um, I know that these posts have nothing to do with Doom 3 but I'm feeling really really lurfy right now and today might be better than I think.

The funny thing is, there's a piece of tail in Hagar Shore I was visiting for a while that I almost got hired at my place. I guess it's all for the better that I didn't, or I'd've made it home and found everything of mine broken. :)

Oh, and to keep this whole thing from getting deleted for having NOTHING to do with Doom 3, I had an idea. I know, I can't believe it either.

Would it be possible to have heavy duty multitexturing on a wall? Lemme continue. Let's say that you're looking at a wall in the game of tomorrow. You see three corners, and four curves that represent pipes. Now, it's all really one polygon with the T&L doing all the curving and image trickery.

Selfabuse seems to be the best song on this album so far.

Anyhow, um, so, using the curving idea and extreming it so that a single polygon can have several corners and curves could you then make a multitexturing concept that can stack and relay textures over individual curves and spaces on that single polygon?

Well, instead of having 2000 polys in a ceiling you could have 1, assuming your GeForce9 doesn't burst into flames from all the T&L overwork. :)

Is that at all feasible, or is it totally retarded? It'd be nice to just put most of the polygon detail work right on the GPU, so your CPU is more free for the sound, and, um, Napster I guess.

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Crazy story! Poor girls...Is this Mr Cumdunt a voyeur or wanted he just to sell the whole stuff to voyeurs?

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deadnail said:

Lüt, yes, that does make him his brother. If YOUR brother made a tape of YOUR wife just to hose wrestle, wouldn't you kick his ass?


Haha, Kevin? Yeah I can imagine that. I think he only likes fat black chicks. But for some reason I wouldn't care too much, although if my wife (who I don't have) was upset I'd probably be pissed at him for getting her that way.

But yeah, as long as they're brothers they should have equal chances at kicking eachothers asses.

So get a camera or something, see how this guy likes embarassing tapes of him being passed around :)

Sthyprzhker, or whatever the Hell your nick is.


STPHRZ!!!!!

Fear Factory's classic Demanufacture album


A little out-of-genre, but try Burning Bridges from Arch Enemy.

I actually saw a yuppie explaining to two hippies that you have to -look- through one end of the camcorder and you see what's on the other end. God, they just don't make enough bullets anymore.


I can relate. I had a friend who tried to argue that "Jewish is a race and not a religion" even when these Jewish kids and history teachers told him he was a moron.

um, I just got the latest Moonspell album.


I am so, so, so sorry for you. If I had any money I would gladly repay to you your loss. It's sad to see another top-notch band gone to waste. (We're talking about Butterfly Effect, right?)

Would it be possible to have heavy duty multitexturing on a wall? Lemme continue. Let's say that you're looking at a wall in the game of tomorrow. You see three corners, and four curves that represent pipes. Now, it's all really one polygon with the T&L doing all the curving and image trickery.

Anyhow, um, so, using the curving idea and extreming it so that a single polygon can have several corners and curves could you then make a multitexturing concept that can stack and relay textures over individual curves and spaces on that single polygon?

Well, instead of having 2000 polys in a ceiling you could have 1, assuming your GeForce9 doesn't burst into flames from all the T&L overwork. :)

Is that at all feasible, or is it totally retarded?


I have no idea; you broke my brain halfway into the second paragraph. It sounds like you're suggesting that it be a feature that could combine possibly hundreds of polygons into one polygon for faster processing? I don't think that's possible because it would only make the code more complex.

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Guest PainoMan
deadnail said:

Are you Japanese, deadnail? I noticed you using "ne" a lot.

Some thoughts on your comment about smashing a site and what you can do when your pissed.

First, I don't think you need to worry about ever seeing a popup ad featuring a girl you know, unless of course, if you visit the type of sites that feature that kind of material.

Second, a little caution might be in order when pissed and thinking of doing a little damage over the net. I hope you are smart enough to know that you can not do anything over the net that can not be traced back to you eventually. You might get away with it once, twice or even 10 times, but continue and you can most definitely expect to become a cellmate with Mr. Cumdunt there. You might think you're smart enough, but I can guarantee that there is someone smarter out there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you do this kind of stuff, I'm just trying to give you some free advice. We want you on the outside playing Doom with the rest of us!

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Guest PainoMan

ah.. I see.. anime fan.. Miyazaki omoshiroi desu ne?

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Man,deadnail,that's one hell of a tale. They should make a short
TV episode out of that. Don't worry man, you'll be alright. I'll
cross my fingers for you,just in case. PEACE!!

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Lüt said:

Damn, five hours of sleep and I'm doing fine.

Thanks for the kind thoughts. I appreciate that.

As for me visiting the 'kinds of sites that would have advertising like that', well, don't you? Half of the ROM sites out there slam six porn popups right in your face. Hey, what's this, I just wanted to play Kirby again!

I am not Japanese, but I do know a little of it. Pianoman there just totally lost me. :) Sorry, when I fall asleep I start melting every language I know together. When I talk in my sleep I've been told I do it sometimes in Spanish. I rarely talk in my sleep, though. My cousin, though, talks in his sleep all the time, and when he does he says the sentences forwards but each individual word backwards. I had to tape it to prove it to him.

What, why would you think I'd get caught for slamming a site? The worst I'd do is ping-attack or send off a few hundred thousand emails with a mail bomber, even then, I'd do it from a public library a hundred miles away or something. Nah, I'm such a bullshitter. I wouldn't. I'd be pissed, though.

Lüt, your brother is into big fat black chicks? Well, if that's his bag more power to him. I know a couple of nice ones, and I might even possibly consider them if they didn't already have a buncha kids...

Burning Bridges from Arch Enemy? Oh why not. Sure.

Yeah, you're friend's a moron. Hebrew is a race, Jewish is a religion. Korean is a race, Buddhist is a religion. That's how the game is played.

I've only heard Butterfly F/X once, while I was slipping into a sweet smelling coma, and it didn't seem too bad. Nothing near what they originally sounded like (I love Alma Mater offa the first album) but I think I can adjust to the change.

Yes, hundreds of polygons into a single polygon while completely relying on the video card's GPU to handle the melding. You're probably right, too damn complicated to bother coding. :)

Even then, if you didn't have a GPU, it'd just be one big ass flat poly! Damn, that'd screw up the way things in the level are supposed to appear.

Anyway, I think I'm conscious enough to try System Shock 2 now. If it's worth the time I'll let you guys know to snag it or not.

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Guest PainoMan

I was going to ask, "Are you Japanese, or an anime fan?" When I visited your site, I got my answer.

Heh heh... yes I do visit those kind of sites, but definitely NOT for roms. I haven't been to a rom website in a very, very long time. I have no need for rom websites. I can get just about any rom there is without ever opening a browser. You can too, if you know where to look and who to ask.

People who can't be bothered to pick up a dictionary think Hebrew and Jewish are the same thing.

I've had System Shock 2 for quite a while now and it is great, unfortunately, my old-ass machine is too slow for it. I still play the original System Shock a lot though. That one was great too. Software Etc. is selling System Shock 2 for 14.99 now.

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