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Jeremy, June 11, 2001 in Doom 3
And I better see some funny shit!
You silly ear bamboozler! One time I vomited in a tin busket, and I let it sit there for 8 weeks in the sun. It rained twice. I vomited because I gagged on the worst Monte Christo ever created. I BET YOU MADE THAT MONTE CHRISTO, YOU CREZZY JERK!! The busket of vomit corroded, and the putrid sludge invaded mother earth and spawned a hell beast of grand proportions! Pardon me, I MUST GO SLAY THE BEAST!
Elephant Hunting - Nerd Style
In order to hunt elephants:
1. Begins at the tip of South Africa;
2. Performs alternating west to east and east to west searches;
3. Decrements the latitude argument in a non integer sequence between each search;
4. Finds an animal;
5. Compares found animal to a known elephant;
6. If found animal matches known elephant terminates search else resumes at 3;
AN ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMER
Will perform the same search on hands and knees.
AN EXPERIENCED PROGRAMMER
Places an elephant in Cairo, Egypt to ensure that the search will terminate properly before initiating the above.
AN REALLY EXPERIENCED PROGRAMMER
1. Places the elephant JUST OFF-SHORE from Cairo, Egypt; or
2. Ensures that the elephant placed in Cairo is sky-blue and scarlet with purple spots, green stripes and yellow polka-dots, in order to distinguish it from any elephant which may have been hiding there already.
After determining that an elephant is mammal, gray and weighs 3.628739*(10^3) Kg, will begin the search collecting all gray mammals. When the sum of the weight of all the collected gray mammals equals the specified weight of an elephant, +/- 10% , the search will be terminated.
Don't actually hunt elephants and indeed may never have hunted elephants, but they can be hired at great expense by the hour, plus expenses, of course, to advise those who do. This will include the time it takes to find out what an elephant is.
1. Formulate a monthly budget, design a Elephant Journal Entry format, a Batch Logging book, add appropriate accounts (both P&L and B/S), and a list of approved authorisors for Journals.
2. Enter accruals for the estimated numbers to be caught per month.
3. As elephants are caught, Journal them into the appropriate period and reverse out the accruals.
4. Keep the droppings in a filing cabinet for audit purposes.
Will first develop a hypothesis supporting the existence of a unique elephant before proceeding with the search as a subordinate operation, collecting all animals found, testing them against the hypothesis and discarding all that don't fit.
A PROFESSOR OF MATHEMATICS
Will first develop a hypothesis supporting the existence of a unique elephant before sending his/her students on the search, requiring that they collect all animals found, test them against the hypothesis, and bring all matching animals to him for publication.
Hunt the first animal they encounter `n' times and call it an elephant.
Don't hunt elephants. They believe that if you give the elephants a small tax incentive, they will hunt themselves.
Don't hunt elephants but will share any elephants YOU catch with the people who voted for them.
Don't hunt elephants, but they do follow herds around arguing about who owns the droppings.
Will claim that they know who owns the entire herd based on the look and feel of one pile of droppings.
Only hunt elephants they can see from where they're standing.
Sets broad elephant hunting policies based on the assumption that elephants are just like big field mice, but with deeper voices.
May try to hunt elephants but their staffs are designed to prevent it. When the CEO does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure that all possible elephants are completely pre-hunted before the CEO sees them. If the CEO does see a non-pre-hunted elephant, the staff will:
1) Compliment the CEO's keen eyesight, and
2) Enlarge itself to prevent any recurrence.
QUALITY ASSURANCE STAFF
Ignore the elephants and spend their time looking for mistakes the hunters made while packing the jeep.
Don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling elephants the hunters haven't caught yet, and promising delivery two days before the opening of elephant hunting season.
SOFTWARE SALES STAFF
Ship the first thing they catch, write up an invoice for an elephant, modify the documentation to match and promise a real elephant at the next update.
HARDWARE SALES STAFF
Catch rabbits, paint them grey and sell them as lap top elephants.
I've never heard of anyone actually wanting to be flamed, but there's a first time for everything.
F**k you, you sick son of a f**k! I'll f*ckin f*ck your lesbian sister in front of your f*ckin'mother, you sonofab*tch!!
Are you depressed still?
<<Im depressed... FLAME ME!>>
Get some help. Now.
Well, I'm not.. =P
I just spent a week down in Crystal Beach Tx.. Damn I love swiming by nature's most beautiful oil rigs..
Yer a dirty basturd.. =P
YOU LOWLIFE BASTARD!!! I FART IN YOUR GENREAL DIRECTION!!!
Lüt said:You silly ear bamboozler! One time I vomited in a tin busket, and I let it sit there for 8 weeks in the sun. It rained twice. I vomited because I gagged on the worst Monte Christo ever created. I BET YOU MADE THAT MONTE CHRISTO, YOU CREZZY JERK!! The busket of vomit corroded, and the putrid sludge invaded mother earth and spawned a hell beast of grand proportions! Pardon me, I MUST GO SLAY THE BEAST!
Man Ive heard some crazy shit on these forums...but some one acually wanting to be flamed.Its pretty sad when you have to ASK some one to flame you.Ive just wasted 2 minutes of my life flaming you and GODDAMNIT I want them back...
doomsick said:YOU LOWLIFE BASTARD!!! I FART IN YOUR GENREAL DIRECTION!!!
Monty Python... gotta love it.