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Cacockcansukmycok

What's the worst game ever made?

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J.B.R said:

I going to say something sad, Rambo:The Video Game, why does it exist?
It disgraced Rambo.
It's awful and i hate it.
There's nothing worth in playing it, stay away from it unless you really want to see how badly it is.


I quite liked it.

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yakfak said:

can you explain why you think Planescape: Torment is bad? A lot of RPG fans consider it to be up there with the best computer roleplaying games


I could open with a joke about how that's exactly proof of why it's terrible, but I'm not going to do that.

Long story short: It's a load of overwrought melodramatic self-indulgent wash too wrapped up in its CREEPYCOOLDARK fantasy freakshow setting and its own breathless obsession with detail to be anything actually well written, with ill-fitting and cringe-worthy attempts at humor that don't lighten the mood at all. And the gameplay is a bunch of D&D bullshit that sucks out any remaining fun the game might've had. It's basically Baldur's Gate's goth phase, and I didn't like Baldur's Gate either.

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Surely the worst game ever has got to be the ZX Spectrum version of SQIJ! from 1987. It is actually unplayable in the truest sense of the word. Due to one of the game's many programming errors, the controls do not work at all. Since the game is written in a variant of BASIC (lol) and not machine code, you can stop (break) the game, type in some commands to correct the bug and re-run it, but it doesn't make the game much better. The controls are difficult to use and if you somehow manage to get to one of the first level's two exits, either nothing happens or the game suddenly crashes.

Not only is the game literally unplayable, has constant graphics glitches and only one level, its release is technically illegal given that code for the much more expensive Laser BASIC programming language is included, given that it's required to be loaded into memory to be able to execute the game. :O

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Ethnic Cleansing is the worst game ever made for a variety of reasons. Please don't ban me just for mentioning it, I am aware that it's horribly racist.

Other games that make ET seem great.

Angst - What is this supposed to be? I mean I own it because I collect FPS's but it makes me feel dirty.
Nerves of Steel - QA Department? We don't need no stinking QA Department!
Paint Brawl - Bug and shit sandwhich with puke sauce
Resident Evil - nothing but quicktime events coupled with horrible controls
Jekyll and Hyde - How do you even play this game?
Shaq FU - ...

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RoyBatty said:

Resident Evil - nothing but quicktime events coupled with horrible controls

Where in the entirety of Resident Evil 1 through 3 were there ever quicktime events?

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Jaxxoon R said:

Where in the entirety of Resident Evil 1 through 3 were there ever quicktime events?


The entire game is a quick time event.

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On the contrary, it was the only game I ever bought for the playstation that I hated so much that I raged and snapped the discs in half. Utter trash... anyways this is off topic and you're a troll. Piss off wanker.

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Damn, beat me too it. Guess I won't be needing that salt shaker, then, but you know what? It's better this way.

Aaanyways, consistently about the worst games you can find on any system are those food-related licensed racers. Like Burger King or M&Ms. I've seen people flat-out driving vertically up walls in those.

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I'm not gonna lie. I really enjoyed the Burger King games. They were so fucking stupid, broken, and awful, that I couldn't help but be immensely entertained. Sneak King in particular is nothing short of numbingly fantastic. The cart racing game is great as long as you're playing with someone else. I actually didn't play the other one, but from videos it seems to a similar experience.

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I have to mention the DOS port of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The game is unwinnable without cheats due to a misplaced platform tile.



EDIT: Sorry, the glitch is demonstrated at 12:05. The rest of the video is worth a watch if you want an in depth look at the game, and don't mind the run time.

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^ When exactly does the 24 minute long video come to the point when cheating was necessary, if it's present in this video at all? I don't want to watch the whole video and maybe not find it anyway.

EDIT: Here is another video showing the game-breaking point: (not that it's worth seeing, just for the curiosity)

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MKA is awful, though I was able to beat it twice as Kano and Kabal. For Kano you mega spam kick and for Kabal spam his low green orb thing. That's it. Deviate and you lose. It's awful.

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I used to play that via emulator sometimes around 2004-2005, it wasn't great but it was a bit fun I recall.

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dethtoll said:


Completely botched ports of good games on more powerful hardware are my favorite, since it really highlights the incompetence of the developers.

Another gem on the GBA: Sonic Genesis

I think that pirate NES Sonic game actually plays and performs better than this.

I almost forgot the iOS remake of Mega Man X as well. The "improved HD graphics" lack parallax background scrolling, and cut the amount of animation frames in more than half. And that's just on top of the bad touch controls and typical mobile microtransaction bullshit.

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It kinda bothers me that so many officially licensed ports of fighting games are fucking awful well into the 2000's, even when compared to NES/Famciom bootlegs they still look like garbage.

This is a much older example, but the Street Fighter "3" bootleg on NES for instance is way better than the licensed port to the Master System.




The graphics and sounds are really quite good considering the hardware, but the gameplay is nonexistent.. Yet the NES bootleg has graphics that are almost as good, and really tight, accurate controls and gameplay. The sound is awful, but come on, it's a bootleg.

Maybe SF2 for Master System has an excuse in that it was only for South American audiences who were used to shoddy bootleg quality anyway, but it just seems kind of a shame that everything but what matters - gameplay - was actually ported fairly well.

Why do 2D fighting games in particular seem so susceptible to terrible official ports? Do these huge developers not have the spare cash to hire even one playtester? Every series gets it's share of garbage ports, but there are terrible official versions of MK and SF2 out the friggin' ass..

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GeckoYamori said:

I almost forgot the iOS remake of Mega Man X as well. The "improved HD graphics" lack parallax background scrolling, and cut the amount of animation frames in more than half. And that's just on top of the bad touch controls and typical mobile microtransaction bullshit.


That hurt to watch. An otherwise fun game that looked fine the way it was, and this looks awful. It appeared to function the same, but the choppier animation was sort of jarring.

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Joe667 said:

Each to their own, but I'm getting a little tired of every forum on the Internet dissing popular YouTubers because they're popular.


It's not so much their popularity as their repugnant personalities.

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