How about a top ten worst FPS?

[Doomkid]

I dunno, I felt a lot more guilty pelting shit at goats so hard they collapsed than I did killing Nazis. The fact that its a Wolf3D clone is all it has going for it - Beyond that it just makes no sense.. Why is Noah knocking out goats that can inexplicably hurt him from across the room?! Its just retarded, that's my problem with it, in terms of gameplay it's fine I guess. The sheer nonsense is what gets me.

[Koko Ricky]

Sheer nonsense doesn't always work. When it does, it's great. Like Earthworm Jim.

[Inkie]

Doomkid said:

I dunno, I felt a lot more guilty pelting shit at goats so hard they collapsed than I did killing Nazis. The fact that its a Wolf3D clone is all it has going for it - Beyond that it just makes no sense.. Why is Noah knocking out goats that can inexplicably hurt him from across the room?! Its just retarded, that's my problem with it, in terms of gameplay it's fine I guess. The sheer nonsense is what gets me.

Why does Noah have at least fifty goats, but only two of every other animal

[Wovenloaf]

The Extreme Paintbrawl series is known for being pretty much objectively terrible. Poor mechanics, bots with no AI, and basically nothing at all going for it. Astoundingly, the developers put out 4 of these games over the course of 4 years, each as awful as the last. I wonder how they failed to learn their lesson.

Regarding Hatred, it's unclear to me how actually good the game is or how serious the developers were, but all in all it's too dumb and puerile to even be offensive. Its core fans are a nexus of ANUS.com regulars and "le hardcore edgelords" who like uploading Columbine footage on YouTube set to that one Drowning Pool song.

[Lila Feuer]

Cynical said:

Easily the best of the "old-school revival" FPSs.

Please don't make me spit up my coffee like that.

[Impie]

I forgot to mention Josephine: Portrait of an Assassin, but I haven't actually played it. This game is as obscure as it is terrible, evidently.

[Tosi]

Impie said:

I forgot to mention Josephine: Portrait of an Assassin, but I haven't actually played it. This game is as obscure as it is terrible, evidently.

Just seeing the title screen and I know it's going to be bad. That woman looks like my aunt. I like how 3/4 of the screen is taken up by the HUD. And the font on the HUD is so shitty it doesn't even look like the Roman alphabet, but like the Thai alphabet.

[Tetzlaff]

This Top 5 list only includes games I actually played, otherwise it would probably include many boring military FPS I didn't even bother to play. And Thundra.


5. March!: Offworld Recon - a game from 2003 with a unique setting and storyline (you control a group of combat robots on Mars to fight against hostile robots that have been possessed by ancient Martian spirits), but horribly executed, barely playable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yD49nlbG3fg

4. Burn - half-assed multiplayer arena FPS from 2007.

3. Unreal II - ruined the Unreal SP franchise, introduced the most restrictive linear level design I' ve ever encountered, got the diverse locations thing completely wrong by disjointedly hopping from planet to planet in every level.

2. Hellforces - utterly stupid and lazily executed Russian shooter.

1. S.O.E.: Operation Avalanche - a really bad WW2 military FPS from 2005. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXbnJxGIjLY

[Doom_Dude]

I enjoyed Unreal II and some of the planets were cool. At least that's what I remember. Maybe I just liked that girls cleavage.

[Tetzlaff]

Okay, I have to admit that my opinion on Unreal II is so low because I am comparing it to it's predecessor. In an unbiased view it is a mediocre game with some interesting and even beautiful set pieces, slow, extremely linear gameplay and a boring story with wooden characters that takes itself way too serious.

[Doom_Dude]

I agree, the first Unreal was far superior to the 2nd game and the Na Pali expansion was a nice addition.

[schwerpunk]

Just gonna say that, while Blood II may be objectively bad, I can't help but load it up and play through the whole thing every couple of years. The sound design is very crisp, and there's something about the aesthetic that appeals to me.

I would even argue it's more replayable than Half-Life, simply because it puts you right into the action, without a protracted introductory sequence.

[Lila Feuer]

schwerpunk said:

Just gonna say that, while Blood II may be objectively bad, I can't help but load it up and play through the whole thing every couple of years. The sound design is very crisp, and there's something about the aesthetic that appeals to me.

I would even argue it's more replayable than Half-Life, simply because it puts you right into the action, without a protracted introductory sequence.

I'm with you on that, that's the problem with some of these narrative driven shooters that have fun gameplay can be a slog to get through with sequences that slow the action down.

[Impie]

schwerpunk said:

Just gonna say that, while Blood II may be objectively bad, I can't help but load it up and play through the whole thing every couple of years.

You know, if you're having that much trouble getting to sleep, there are much healthier alternatives, like sleeping pills or vodka.

[Lila Feuer]

Impie said:

You know, if you're having that much trouble getting to sleep, there are much healthier alternatives, like sleeping pills or vodka.

Rofl.

You could potentially do much worse. You could play Redneck Rampage on Psycho Billy.

[AirRaid]

Impie said:

I don't think you've actually been reading the thread.

And I don't think you read or understood my post at all.

[Lila Feuer]

The game you linked to is objectively crap from the beginning, the titles I listed had some actual effort put into them and turned out bad anyway, with some being by good companies/devs. That's far more disappointing than some random garbage on Steam.

[deadwolves]

Fear 3. Obviously bored with horror, the developers on this chose to scrap out some militaristic clone and airbrush in the series' history just to spice it up and make a sell. Boring and silly. They obviously missed the point. Screw the reboot idea too.

ReVOLUTION. A cyberpunk FPS published by Activision Value Publishing, developed by "Fun Labs". You start an engineer or something, kind of like System Shock 2 with the whole profession idea. Has some nice graphics, but it's tedious and poorly executed. The poor coding prevents you from actually completing the game.

Ethnic Cleansing. I actually spent some time on this one, trying to figure out how to get to the second level. It's so poorly scripted or prepared to be a game and its only ambition is to exist as racist propaganda.

Kind of sad that both Shogo AND Blood II got on this list.. they are both crappy and badly executed ideas but both were games I played to completion, had some interesting ideas. They aren't much good by any means but there are worse.

[Kontra Kommando]

I think worst FPS of all time was that pornographic doom-clone that was in black and white.

[Impie]

Kontra Kommando said:

I think worst FPS of all time was that pornographic doom-clone that was in black and white.

This one? Wasn't it made with the Pie in the Sky engine?

A couple others I forgot:

Duracell: Run the Bunny

Xmas Carnage

Time Gate

That brings my list up to six I guess. Almost there!

EDIT: Forgot Cyberdillo, bringing me to 7.

[ducon]

Witchaven sucked: nearly playable, ugly, puky…

[Wovenloaf]

A few years back I saw a YouTube video of a really bad 90's FPS that had a poorly animated death scene of the cartoon-looking protagonist getting jumped by a bunch of the monsters. No matter where you were in the level or what monsters were actually present, the death scene was exactly the same. I can't remember many other details. I think I found it while searching for "the worst FPS ever", but I can't find the video now. It was hilariously bad, though. The so-called "golden age of FPS" was really hardly golden except for the few classics that have endured for us to this day -- mostly it was a field of forgettable bandwagon crap.

EDIT: I found it! Here it is, Isle of the Dead from 1993. See 3:29 for the hilarious death scene.

[Doominator2]

HorrorMovieGuy said:

There's a terrible Wolfenstein clone called "Immoral Cumbat" that I played out of morbid curiosity. It's an "adult" Wolfenstein clone where you walk through filthy bathrooms and jack off onto killer boobs and dicks and watch pornographic and scatological peep shows.

AHHHH why did I look this up!!??

[LuciferSam86]

Island Peril: actually played it a long time ago...

[Wovenloaf]

Wow, that's hilariously awful too.

This one also cracks me up. It makes NO. SENSE. Your two weapons are an axe and a musket, and you go through linearly-designed city areas full of mushrooms (which damage your health) and apples (which give you health), fighting floating skulls and what looks like Chinese soldiers (who, by the way, sound hilarious when they die).

The real kicker? This was made in 1998 by a screensaver company.

[Clonehunter]

The worst FPS game I have personally touched is probably Operation: Bodycount, though it is not the worst game out there. However, this game was boring, tedious, monotonous, and very ugly looking. The hand drawn enemies were fairly poor and didn't fit the rest of the game's aesthetics, and the basic enemies were simply modified sprites from Doom, and thus looked very lazy. The weapons were big gooby gobs of unidentifiable schmuck (The Uzi, for example, looked more like a black brick), and the first set of sewer levels put mazes too shame, filled with "Swamp Monsters" and Giant Rats (?!) which fit no where into a story about liberating a tower from terrorists.

However, for when it was released the game tried a couple of neat things. Burning objects, destructible walls, enemies that played dead, an overhead map, allied troopers you could control in a vaguely tactical manner, and walls that changed their texture to appear as if they had been shot (Although this bullet hole effect was quickly surpassed with Rise of the Triad's effect). However, many of these things were all sort of half-done, or the engine limitations stopped these elements from being fully realized. Most disturbingly, several of these effects, such as burning things with the flamethrower, only worked on the CD version of the game, and was absent from the floppy disc versions.

All in all, the best thing about this game was the box art, which was actually art for a novel that never came to be. As such, we can't really call it original art, and as such the game fails there, too.

[schwerpunk]

homesickened - by Snapman, a short indie romp meant to evoke the existential nausea of going home (and playing old video games you used to love). Basically, it can only be enjoyed ironically, or as a work of art.

article - by Jess Joho, an excellent writeup.

[Cynical]

Cyanosis said:

Please don't make me spit up my coffee like that.

No idea why praising Necrovision would surprise you. The game is amazing.

The level design is leagues beyond the rest of the Serious Sam style "lol, old school level design was nothing but arenas!" games, with vast, expansive levels that the player explores, mostly at his own pace with relatively few lock-ins. The shooting mechanics are incredibly well thought-out, encouraging aggression; the fury/adrenaline dependent first half of the game is the only time I've seen combat against hitscan-centric enemies work well, and the Shadowhand-dependent second half blends creative weapon usage, aggression, resource management, and splash-damage crowd control. Absolutely top-flight stuff.

[Doomkid]

Wovenloaf said:

isle of the dead

check out my BADASS ULTRA HARDCORE cover of that shitty tune

[Tarnsman]

Day One - Gary's Incident might be the worst FPS I've played and I've played Bloodwings.