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KDarigal

Caesura - Part 1

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This story takes place far in the future. Whether this means fifty, five hundred, or five thousand years, nobody knows... or cares. All that matters is that this did... or will happen.

Darkness fell upon the ruined lands as a man clambered across them. Muffled obscenities came from his direction as the jagged rubble cut his palms. For fifteen years now he'd been tracking his quarry, the last two on foot, clothed only in his faded-to-grey shirt and jeans, a sword strapped to his back, four revolvers strapped to his waist, and his destiny strapped to one he only knew as Ayuka.

Far in the past, this had been a bustling center of commerce. Now, though, after the war, ended by weapons still making their unwanted side-effects known, parts of it were dust, parts blocks of stone in random piles, and parts weren't. Not merely being totally destroyed, but just not being there. Holes in reality that were becoming both larger and more frequent.

On the horizon, the man saw the spark of a flame. Ayuka waited for him, hundreds of miles ahead.

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Meanwhile, in another part of the field...

Mayiko and Nuna sat at the edge of the ocean, where rotting hulks washed up on shore. Once they'd passed by the corpse of a creature. They came across its head early after sunrise, walked in the foul shade of its body as the day passed, and passed its tail not long after sunset. Smaller things were coming onto shore alive, making a high-pitched keening noise and clipping off parts of the dead.

Nuna reached for her rifle, but Mayiko put her hand on Nuna's shoulder. "Not yet," she cautioned. "Wait for dark."

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Liam the Bard said:

ten reasons this fic is cool:

1.) you only write it like a paragraph or two at a time
2.) it's not about doom
3.) it wasn't written by doomboy
4.) or bbg
5.) or doomboy
6.) blank
7.) er, it's not about doom
8.) you know how to spell shit

maybe ten reasons was reaching

9.) fuckit
10.) fuckit


Oh, it's about Doom... sort of... but way in the future w/respect to it.

There will be flashback sequences reaching back hundreds and/or thousands of years.

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This kind of makes me want to write a fan fic, even though I hate writing fiction. Nah, I'll stick with art.

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Very good. I would prefer you to use slightly longer paragraphs in your story posts but that's just me, keep it as it is if it suits you best.

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KDarigal said:

Wet cleanup on aisle 3!

SOMEONE GET RID OF LAMENT'S POST.

Yeah, yeah, I did it already. I won't merge your posts but try and keep stories in one post in future: keeps the flies off them :P

Btw that story is very, very good. I may even forgive you for flaming people and making new threads just for responses ;)

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Congrats on your promotion pritch! Damn, that was one fast promotion - you must've done a great job!

Oh and to the story: Good job, but don't post several posts with tiny bits of story - write long posts with lots of text. Making several small posts seems like a lame attempt of adding to your postcount and I don't like that.

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dsm said:

Congrats on your promotion pritch! Damn, that was one fast promotion - you must've done a great job!

Oh and to the story: Good job, but don't post several posts with tiny bits of story - write long posts with lots of text. Making several small posts seems like a lame attempt of adding to your postcount and I don't like that.


:-/ I'm not trying to add to my postcount. I just don't like editing posts repeatedly.

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Why don't you just write the story gradually in Word (or other such text programs) and then post it whenever you've written a fair, long bit which you're satisfied with?

That's what I always do, and it works wonders as it gives me the opportunity to put down great ideas whenever I get them and later, I can edit them when I realize that some of it is crap.

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