Worst, most near-objectively bad songs you know?

[Stygian]

There's a lot of really dreadful art punk music out there. Seems like the kind of thing that hipsters would eat up to seem "ironic" and "sophisticated". This for example sounds like goats being bludgeoned to death with a Casio keyboard:

@Xerge: I enjoy shitty 90's Eurodance more that any self-respecting person should. Sure it probably lowers your IQ, but at least it's catchy. I rank stupid music higher than music that physically assaults my eardrums.

[EDIT] I'm going to have to issue a trigger warning for that link in case you are nauseated by the sight of floppy man meat.

[Jello]

Wovenloaf said:

"Freaxxx".

Wow. I've never heard that song before but that was atrocious.

My dog was sleeping peacefully by my foot, completely conked out, and after a minute of playing that he woke up and gave me a very loud, disapproving groan. I refer to it as "giving me the business". Generally he only does it if I've been gone for an extended period of time, such as going to work or going to the store, and it's rare even then. He has no problem with me playing Doom at night, or watching movies, or just generally being noisy, but that song really pissed him off. I guess I trained him well.

As far as songs I just absolutely can't stand, I'm pretty forgiving. I realize not all music is for everybody, and not all the music I like is enjoyable to others. I tend to gravitate towards Punk, Metal, Classic Rock, Prog Rock, Grunge, Industrial, some Blues and Country. To each their own. But if I have to pick one song that just pisses me off every time I hear it, it'd be "Fight Song" by Rachel Platten. Mainly because it's so overplayed. First it was just in the Ford commercials, and now it seems like I can't go anywhere without hearing it. I can't even go to a hardware store without that song blaring over the speaker system.

[Jaxxoon R]

chungy said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

As godawful as that droning mess of a song is, this little mashup works surprisingly well (in terms of anything involving Friday):

[fraggle]

chungy said:

Rebecca Black - Friday

I'd argue that this song by the same producer is objectively worse (and as bad as "Friday" was, it was never accused of being racist):

[j4rio]

Anything produced by Patrice Wilson qualifies.

Hell, he even went ahead and outright mocked every "hater", all while making money by creating unironically horrible music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7l8wZbqTww0

[Cacockcansukmycok]

Wovenloaf said:

Ok, what the fuck.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDspPjlySyg

My favorite part of the video is when he starts rapping to a cow on the beach.

Also, I remember that Megadeth song. Seriously sounds like a Nickelback song with shittier vocals.

RAED! the Future rapper!

[Clonehunter]

Nearly forgot about this gem.

[Tetzlaff]

Oh man... some bad songs came into my mind when I read the thread title, but after listening to some of those auto-tuned cacophonies you guys posted I know better now.

Btw music like that from Passenger of Shit doesn't count because it's obviously unpleasant on purpose.

[Lila Feuer]

I like some Deathcore bands, like Carnifex, Suicide Silence and Whitechapel. I notice a lot of metalheads seem to hate it but I think it can be great.

[fraggle]

j4rio said:

Anything produced by Patrice Wilson qualifies.

Yeah. Although, if you ignore the awful music, it's a pretty clever business model - taking money from rich parents who want their spoiled kids to be able to pretend to be a pop star for 15 minutes. It almost seems like it could be a work of hilarious, subversive satire - privileged idiots turned into laughingstocks as victims of their own narcissism. I'm reminded of how the comedian Chris Morris used to do something similar by interviewing celebrities and asking them completely moronic questions to provoke them into equally moronic answers. I suspect the reality is probably far less elaborate and Wilson is just in it for the money, but if he were to suddenly come out and admit that his videos were works of satire I almost wouldn't be surprised.

[Pedro VC]

[Tosi]

Stygian said:

There's a lot of really dreadful art punk music out there. Seems like the kind of thing that hipsters would eat up to seem "ironic" and "sophisticated". This for example sounds like goats being bludgeoned to death with a Casio keyboard:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bx8G_i7a3eI

I guess I'm one of those hipsters but I don't even like that shit. It sounds like a bunch of kindergarteners imitating The Residents.

[Stygian]

Tosi said:

I guess I'm one of those hipsters but I don't even like that shit. It sounds like a bunch of kindergarteners imitating The Residents.

I really shouldn't judge anybody for their musical preferences. I'm kind of an uncultured pleb when it comes to just about every form of media.

On a related note, Serbian ultra-nationalist propaganda music has crappy, synthesized instrumentation and overly vibrato-heavy vocals that are mostly about blowing the fuck out of Turks/Croats with artillery, but somehow I manage to enjoy it. I like to call this song "General MIDI":

[Xerge]

Stygian said:

@Xerge: I enjoy shitty 90's Eurodance more that any self-respecting person should. Sure it probably lowers your IQ, but at least it's catchy. I rank stupid music higher than music that physically assaults my eardrums.

Hope you enjoyed my recommendation then.

[Tetzlaff]

Stygian said:

On a related note, Serbian ultra-nationalist propaganda music has crappy, synthesized instrumentation and overly vibrato-heavy vocals that are mostly about blowing the fuck out of Turks/Croats with artillery, but somehow I manage to enjoy it.

Yeah, that is some catchy Balkan Pop tune.

[Doomkid]

[Dragonfly]

The fuck is this shit anyways? It's like an even worse version of cha cha slide. >_>

[Tosi]

Stygian said:

I really shouldn't judge anybody for their musical preferences. I'm kind of an uncultured pleb when it comes to just about every form of media.

I'm not any better. I used to only listen to dadrock and what I considered "real" music but now I just listen to whatever I'm in the mood for which is everything but country.

Stygian said:

On a related note, Serbian ultra-nationalist propaganda music has crappy, synthesized instrumentation and overly vibrato-heavy vocals that are mostly about blowing the fuck out of Turks/Croats with artillery, but somehow I manage to enjoy it. I like to call this song "General MIDI":

Kind of reminds me of this song which is more famous. Somebody told me it was a parody of those ultra-nationalist Serbian songs but I don't know enough about the culture and language to know if that's true.

[Stygian]

Dragonfly said:

The fuck is this shit anyways? It's like an even worse version of cha cha slide. >_>

Reminded me think of Thottwalk.

@Tosi - The REMOVE KEBAB meme was my introduction to this "genre" of music. Serbian propaganda music is kind of like listening to a completely unironic, version of "America, Fuck Yeah" from Team America. I think that's the source of my fascination with it.

Changing subjects, the following is probably the weirdest and most pretentious form of "music" that has come to my awareness:

[Wovenloaf]

^Holy shit, that's actually a thing? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, but that's like if a major ADHD case got wrongly inspired by Mike Patton. Terrible.

[Tetzlaff]

Can somebody please make a mashup of Pokemon Gold Pirate and Danger Music #17.

[j4rio]

[Spectre01]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMgkt9jdjTU

Plus the meme status in the Dota 2/Twitch.tv community.

Edit: I can't embed shit.

[Li'l devil]

j4rio said:

John Cage - 4'33"

That was pretty boring to watch.

[kuchitsu]

Crazy Frog anyone?

[AnonimVio]

shit

[Li'l devil]

AnonimVio said:

Running From Evil
Countdown to Death
shit

Running From Evil is not shit. It's good. You think it's bad because you've just heard it too many times (overlistened to it) and it got annoying, but it's understandable. However, I can agree with you on Countdown to Death, it's boring as fuck.

There's also Dave D. Taylor's Blues. I hate it.

[nxGangrel]

^I think all of Doom 2's soundtrack is terrible, with some exceptions.

[Dragonfly]

nxGangrel said:

^I think all of Doom 2's soundtrack is terrible, with some exceptions.

I couldn't agree more.

[fraggle]