Worst movie you've ever seen?

Wrong Casa. So horribly bad I want to call it good, but it's just really bad.

Manos gets a lot of shit, but I give it a pass. Is it a bad movie? Yes. But with the budget it had, of course it was going to be bad. The really, really bad movies are those with a budget in the tens of millions that ended up being just really bad movies. Titanic, and the Star Wars prequels, I'm looking at you.

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There's a lot of shit movies i've HEARD of, but seen? That's a hard one.

I'd say....
TMNT (the Michael Bay version)

There's one other movie i wish to put, but i'll get yelled at if I do.

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This is a hard question to answer because there's so much truly awful crap out there. I watch a lot of sci-fi, so those usually come to mind. For example, I saw Space Fury on TV once.

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Behemoth.

Mainly because it is the only fucking film I ever see on the god awful Horror Channel here in the UK on freeview.

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I consider the Michael Bay Transformers franchise to be a barrel of buffalo fuck.

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Skyline. What was advertised as a cool sci-fi action film/movie, turned out to be pure shit. 100 timee worse than Michael Bay's films/movies.

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When I watch a movie trailer I can pretty much decide wether the movie is gonna be bad or not, I might be wrong or not, the point is that if I watch a movie trailer and decide that the movie is gonna be bad I don't bother watching it at all, so I pretty much avoid bad movies, however sometimes I catch a movie on cable without knowing anything about it and not knowing what to expect so I watch it for a while to decide if it's gonna be bad or not and the worst one I've seen is MUCK, didn't watch more than 30 minutes I really felt I wasted my time.

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Expectation-wise, Man of Steel. What a pile of self-important pretentious hooey that's really just like three hours of buildings falling down.

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They Saved Hitler's Brain.

Somehow I watched all 130 minutes of this movie. it is BAD

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Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark.

Either that or Dead Snow.

Or Paranormal Activity.

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"Doom". Saw it for £1 in Poundland the other day. Passed it over.

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Psycho remake springs to mind. It's literally a shot-by-shot remake of the original, yet it somehow misses the point. It's not even an unintentionally funny movie, it's just remarkably lazy and dull.

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PureSlime said:

Expectation-wise, Man of Steel. What a pile of self-important pretentious hooey that's really just like three hours of buildings falling down.

Pretty much, yeah.

It was probably the first time I'd seen an action movie that I found straight-up boring. Half way through the film after sitting through a continual sequence of exploding buildings I eventually realised why: it's a 3D film and I was watching it in 2D on a tiny screen on the back of an airplane seat. Presumably all that stuff is really impressive if you see it in the cinema in 3D.

The first ~40 minutes or so of it aren't too bad. I liked the Krypton scenes and Russell Crowe actually kinda works well as Jor-El. It's when General Zod arrives that the whole thing goes downhill. After the pointless "I am General Zod..." scene that was blatantly written so it could be used as a marketing gimmick teaser trailer, the rest of the film is just a continual non-stop smashfest of people fighting, things exploding, people being thrown through buildings, buildings blowing up, etc.

I like to think of it through analogy to the loudness war that people complain about in music. Man of Steel is a loud film. It tries so hard to stand out as an action film, that it turns everything up to 11. All the fighting characters move at superspeed (which to some extent I guess they should, but it gives the feel that you're watching a video game), and every little bit of violence is exaggerated (why walk into a building when you can leap through the roof?)

The result is the same as we get with the loudness war: there's no dynamic range. When your villains casually throw cars through buildings in a fit of anger - just because they can, seeing some more buildings destroyed later on doesn't seem quite so dramatic. Desperately trying to be exciting, the movie ends up thoroughly boring instead. Like listening to some music that has been turned up so loud that all you can hear is noise.

The noise in Man of Steel is a cacophony of over-the-top violence that desensitizes and dulls the senses. The sad part is that in those few scenes when the noise quietens down, you can occasionally catch a glimpse of a pretty good film under there. But it seems that just like the music industry, the film industry is being ruined by competitive pressure to always be the loudest on the block.

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Expectations wise, Lost in Translation or The Last Samurai

People raved about them, I paid my £8 and they were boring, derivative shit.

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I usually loathe and avoid super hero movies, but I greatly enjoyed Man of Steel. The fights reminded me of DBZ and the suspense until Zod's arrival was somehow actually suspenseful.

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Probably Quantum of Solace, I mean I never actually cared for Danial Craig's Bond movies but QoS has to be the worst one out of them I've seen.

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Fisk said:

The Room


No, this is gold.

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fraggle said:

Presumably all that stuff is really impressive if you see it in the cinema in 3D.

That's how I saw it. It made me want to go home.

Also, did you notice how characters have like barely any dialogue or development to them past the first ten or so minutes? Like after that, every line of dialogue is strictly to move to the next scene or action beat. There's no development or character arcs in it at all.

The closest is maybe Superman's character arc of accepting his powers and helping people, but that's basically all accomplished at the opening of the film, and the prior stuff is all addressed in disjointed and abrupt flashbacks that happen whenever the movie feels like it.

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Nothing pisses me off more than a BAD comedy movie. Specially those comedy movies where the main character is a completely unlikeable and/or unfunny asshat who you're supposed to sympathise with, and the jokes all revolve around things being disgusting, loud and obnoxiously stupid. Films like Biodome, Chairman of the Board, Master of Disguise, you get the idea. I also have the utmost contempt for the Inspector Gadget movie, and Matthew Broderick too. Seriously, fuck that guy.

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Mortal Kombat Annihilation

Although some scenes/lines borders on entertainingly bad, the sequel to an already "okay" film is basically cinematic trash. Everything about this film is rushed and lazy, with an incredibly incompetent cast to boot.

Effects for Sheeva and Motaro were good, though.

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PureSlime said:

Also, did you notice how characters have like barely any dialogue or development to them past the first ten or so minutes? Like after that, every line of dialogue is strictly to move to the next scene or action beat. There's no development or character arcs in it at all.

I didn't, but now that you mention it I realise you're completely correct. It's all "here's why things are exploding now".

The closest is maybe Superman's character arc of accepting his powers and helping people, but that's basically all accomplished at the opening of the film, and the prior stuff is all addressed in disjointed and abrupt flashbacks that happen whenever the movie feels like it.

Yeah, the flashbacks are annoying as hell. The worst is when Superman's ship comes to crash on Earth, it immediately cuts to the ship at sea with no explanation that you've just jumped 30 years in a single scene cut. I was expecting to see the ship crash into the sea or something.

In general I kind of think the non-linear / flashbacks thing was done to death over a decade ago and I kind of wish films would go back to having a comprehensible order again.

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I guess Poseidon Rex deserves a place in this this thread. It's just a very, very bad Jurrasic Park/World clone. It had some RIDICULOUS scenes:

Spoiler

In the final fight, the main antagonist chases the main characters through the ocean, the US Army launches a rocket at the dinosaur, it (the dino) kinda falls down, but then comes up again and starts chasing the main heroes, then one of the characters, an averagely tough guy, launches a rocket from a rocket launcher at the dinosaur, but he (guy) slips, falls to the water and gets eaten, then the other character, an insanely sexy scientist launches another rocket, and the dino's head gets CUT off, like with a knife

I know you didn't get a single thing of this

Anyway, bad, bad, bad.

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