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Monotony At The Workplace

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I haven't seen any threads like this, so I figured I'd start one.

I am at work right now (as I usually am when I post here, actually). As many of you know, I am a security guard. This is probably the most rinse amd repeat job I have ever had.

So I'll share a few things that I deal with every day, usually from the same people interestingly enough.

1. We check beltlines when employees leave. This requires men and women to raise their shirts just high enough to expose their belt loops, no further. Here are the general responses I get from women, followed by my responses:

-This is harrasment!
-It really isn't, ma'am. (Me)

-I'm reporting this to (insert my bosses name).
-For doing my job right? Thanks! (Me)

-Females shouldn't have to expose their waists to you. That's not right. (I get this one from all the feminazis. They hate my response)
-I am sorry you feel that way. But we in the security team like to try to promote gender equality 100% of the time, so everyone gets treated the same. (Me)

2. We also deal with semi truck drivers daily. My questions will come first, followed by their answers.

-Hi, what's your PO number? (Me)
-I don't have one.
-Sir, every order has an order number. (Me)
-Well not this one.
-Let me see your bills...it's right there. (Me)
-Oh, I didn't know.
-Are you new to driving? (Me)
- (silence)

-What time is your appointment? (Me)
-Uh...midnight.
-Sorry sir, you'll need to come back no earlier than 11PM. (Me)
-Well they told me that I can come at six. (They are never okay with that)
-Sorry sir. Not allowed. (Me)
-...well where can I park?
-Nowhere on property. You'll need to leave. (Me)
-I was just here yesterday and the guard allowed me to park.
-What time yesterday?(Me)
-Like five oclock.
-I was here yesterday at five. I never told anyone that. (Me)
-This is bullshit!
-Anything else sir? (Me)
-No! Grrrrr!
---------------------------

So what kinds of things at your job or in everyday life are you forced to deal with that make for amusing stories?

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