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Robo_Cola

Post your satire of a music review

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Pantera's Daikatana incident?



So I got this cd at my local vintage record shop in town. I was walking by the isles and saw this in the 80's metal section, picked it up thinking it was a Queensryche cd.
I was proven wrong by the Neon eye-blindin' PanterA logo with the cat on front, "Power Metal" was the CD title and oh is it different from the other, later albums. But it still has some relevance.


So I got home and played this on my computer, speakers pretty high on up. I'll admit, I'm a connoisseur for great metal bands, so I knew this must be pretty good considering the band it came from.
Pantera is well known for awesome hits such as "Cowboys from Hell," "walk," "Cemetery Gates," and so many others to list. I myself am more into Napalm Death, In Flames, Morbid Angel, etc... but like some classics here and there.


Right off the bat I was blown away with a real Judas Priest song with a cool solo, "Rock the World" is it's name.
The lyrics are already pure cheese...which will get worse as this album goes on. Once that passes, we're to the title track of "Power Metal" which actually *believe it or not* stars Kerry King from Slayer. In fact, Kerry wrote the main riff to the song.
It's a technical song but has way too much Falsetto. What was Phil trying to do? Conjure a part of King Cheese err.. Diamond* himself?


"We'll meet again" is a song completely un-Pantera... Probably from an emotional-side of Phil. It already starts off completely white cheddar, would have a been a good song for a Phil side-project that had "Diamond Darrell Lance" by his side. The solo is good but not much else to say.
"Over and Out" is the next, and it has a forgettable riff. A good song to have hot sex to is "Down Below." Oh fuck... there is so much wonderful liquid sex cheese in that song... My pores were pressing out Parmesan and mozzarella like string playdoh.
But in all seriousness, the solos are pretty sick in this one. It's actually a cover of an even EARLIER album *gasp* even has grated pepper-jack on top. But all these ultimately pail in comparison to the next track. "Death Trap" is a real Banon Wedge, with zesty undertones and one extreme guitar solo. The solo melts my cheddar face into a queso dip.


A couple of forgettable tunes are there of course, until the finale of P.S.T 88'. Wow... what a song. To think this is the song that directly comes before Cowboys from hell is hilarious. It has Dime on vocals and it's everything perfect about Cheesy butt-rock.
The quality of this cd could be better, it sounds alot like a soundtrack you put in the background of a TV show (some tracks actually are.) Nothing compared to their well-polished later albums.


Final Verdict: This album is all-out full fledged Cheese metal in the spirit of Judas Priest. It's definitely not hair-metal, but it's definitely not Thrash/groove for you Nu Metal youngins out there. It's something inbetween is all I can really say. It's good for a couple of laughs and to explain the history of Pantera to a group of people. 7.666/10

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