Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

TGIF comes early!

Recommended Posts

Since I found a good joke (one I like) and won't be here to share it Friday, how about right now? :)

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a
prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.

"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his
or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a
short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another
paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each
time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO
talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The story
is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca -last name deleted, and Gary - last name deleted.

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
liked chamomile. Now she felt she must, at all costs, keep her mind off
Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too
much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,â¬x,"
he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No
sign of resistance so far." But before he could sign off a bluish particle
beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.
The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the

He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one
last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law
Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper
one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared
out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly
and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from
her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered


Little did she know, but she had less than ten seconds to live. Thousands of
miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth
a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined
to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to
pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded.
The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine HQ on the ocean floor off the
coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,
stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist
on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing
partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile
tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-ING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an
air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."






Go drink some tea - whore.

A+ - I really liked this one.

Share this post

Link to post

I feel a little chemisty between becky and garry, yup, they might hit it off mighty fine. Let me go get mac to piss in their coffy.

Share this post

Link to post
the_Danarchist said:

What a violent dumbfuck.

I can see dan with his new beetle parked in the drive way sipping on some tea reading a feminist movement book wondering why the hell he's single.

Share this post

Link to post
pritch said:

So can I, but at least he doesn't eat MaccyD's every day =)

Bah, you're brittish, go join him in his sipping tea party. As for my eating habbits, I'll have you know I didn't eat mcd's in like 4 days... I've been gulping down massive amounts of Pop-Corion and shrimp soup lately. Ask dan if you don't believe.

Share this post

Link to post
gatewatcher said:

delete this thread? why?

no, delete that post I made, I posted it by accident =P

Teh_Danbo saideth:
I should say someting in defence of myself, but its all true.

Look on the bright side, you're not in denial about it =]

Share this post

Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now