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raymoohawk

crappy games of your childhood

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when i was a kid there were 3 games that i played the shit out of. doom 2, pokemon sapphire and ... Danger Zone! High-Voltage Competitive Action. one of those games was not like the others. so danger was a mildly entertaining videogame /virtual boardgame that was too mediocre to at least be so bad its good.i wasted many many hours playing with my sister and visiting friends. being the only kid in town without a N64 or PS1/2 i suspect my friends only agreed to humour my enthusiasm for the sorry thing out of pity

FAKE EDiT

found someones a gameplay on the youtube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSmyM1clIRw

my friends and i used to pretend that the raptor fights were pokemon battles


so what crappy games did you love as a kid?

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Loaded, red asphalt, overkill. There was a game that was all gritty(I think by interplay as well) that was alot like twisted metal, I can't remember the name. I was a big interplay fan when I was a kid.

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I used to play Battle Tanx for the N64 a lot. Tried it again not long ago...oh my God that game is 90s as fuck and the controls are shit.

Yet I still love it.

Edit: Oh my God, the commercial.

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The Skunny games.

God they were so bad. I loved them, but they were terrible. It's kind of easy to forget nowadays remembering mostly id/Epic/Apogee stuff that shareware was 98% total shit.

There is a point in Skunny: Save Our Pizzas where one death spells the end of your entire game. Because it respawns you in a place where bombs are 100% needed to get past the following section. While it removes all your bombs when you die. And there are no pickups in that area. Means you're 100% stuck. You also cannot go back to collect some, because it's right after one of those stupid toll booths.

Top quality game design right there.

I chuckled when I recently visited Copysoft's website (it's still up) and the biggest text on there is NO REFUNDS! Gee, I wonder why?

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Jason Storm in Space Chase. A Keen 1-3 clone with bad controls and design.

Gateworld. A Keen 4-6 clone with bad graphics and many death traps in the levels. It's also got one of the weirdest music piece heard in the story screens; sounding like a bunch of broken notes from other world.

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thaquoth said:

God they were so bad. I loved them, but they were terrible. It's kind of easy to forget nowadays remembering mostly id/Epic/Apogee stuff that shareware was 98% total shit.

I used to play those too. I never got anywhere in them though cause I kept dying. I've never been good at platformers though.

I think the best part of that time was that when you were scouring around cds and compilations you were exploring more than anything. A lot of weird games were found. But that was the best part, that you never knew what you were going to find. A lot of janky games, but so much character in a lot of them. It was a great time to be a nerd. :)

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Winter Games for the Commodore 64. I played this game a ton as a kid -- and I still do a 4-player competition with friends almost every winter -- but it is not a good game by any means. As with a lot of other C64 games, the controls and gameplay mechanics are about as obtuse as it gets. I *dare* you to try and get a good rating on the figure skating event, for example.

Damn, I love this game. It's so bad.

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I don't remember the name but it was some educational game where you had to collect all of the different colored knights to reclaim your throne at the kingdom

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I used to love to play the shit out of Bubsy 1 and 2 as a kid on a very old emulator (back on Windows 2000 or 98, I can't remember much about it).

I even remember completing both of them, and those fucking armadillo stages.

I also remember religiously playing Duke Nukem Time To Kill but is that considered a bad game? I see it as a classic.

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I remember playing a shitty game called Operation: Eco-Nightmare, it had some pretty crappy FMV cutscenes.

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There's a game I played years ago that was a top-down game. You had a little army of blue knights VS red knights, and on the menu screen there was two old Greek statues holding crystal balls. They had waterfalls coming out of their mouths as well, I'm 99% certain. It's been at least 16 years since I've played this game so forgive the shitty description, but if it rings any bells for anyone, I'd love to revisit it and see if it's a forgotten gem, or just a crappy old childhood game. I'm pretty damn sure it was an MS-DOS game.

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BluePineapple72 said:

I don't remember the name but it was some educational game where you had to collect all of the different colored knights to reclaim your throne at the kingdom


I know what you're talking about. I only vaguely remember it and don't recall the name either. Of course, it was a game meant for 4-6 years olds, so I imagine "bad" is a given, if it's even applicable. Entertaining people who know how to count and aren't amused by bright colors isn't really in the scope of the game.

Besides that, I rented the A Bug's Life game a couple times. I liked it as a kid, but looking back on it, it was pretty bad. I'm not sure how it got ported from the original PS1 release onto both the N64 and the PC.

I also had this "Games for Windows 95" demo disc. It had some good demos on there, including one for Doom 95, but there was definitely some crap mixed in. I remember one fighting game with buff furries or something, and the controls just outright didn't work 90% of the time.

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The first game I got for game boy color was grand theft auto and holy shit was that game broken. The only thing the game got right was that the map pretty closely resembled the city from the PC version of the game. There was pretty much no traffic in the game which meant you did a lot of walking. The cars had no momentum so you either go full speed or stop. The police AI is glitchy as fuck, the pedestrians are few and far between, many of the missions are broken and unfinishable, and the game in general was missing a ton of features like kill frenzies, mini games, trains, police road blocks, the cars only came in one color, and plenty other things were simply terrible. The game seemed more like a proof of concept than an actual game people were expected to play.

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I would be interested in seeing some of that games weapon sprites extracted and re-paletted.

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I don't think there's any game that I've ever liked so far as I remember and that I'd call crappy today. I admit I have a low bar for assessing crappiness, though.

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40oz said:

The first game I got for game boy color was grand theft auto and holy shit was that game broken. [...] The game seemed more like a proof of concept than an actual game people were expected to play.

Ugh, I had blocked that POS from my memory. I usually like when games are well ported to inferior hardware, but that was definitely not the case with this one.

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