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Voros

Funny/Weird/Shocking/Awesome School Stories

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Did anything interesting/not-usually-normal ever happen in your school days?
Share them here!

Less than a year ago (maybe 8 months ago), I was in Grade 9. Now something happened one day and I never bothered to learn. At the end of the day, my friend told me about the incident: A girl in Grade 6 was giving a boy (also Grade 6) a handjob, in the middle of the class. The teacher caught them.

The boy was expelled and so was the girl. I forgot the details but another girl/boy later took the face of the girl, and pasted it onto a naked pornstar picture, then uploaded to Instagram. That person got suspended.

Another story: WAY BACK, like preschool or something, in a different school, there was a class going on. Suddenly there was disgusting smell in the air. I looked behind me to see a boy with a strange expression on his face. I looked under my chair, and what do I see? Shit. Under his chair.

So I tell the teacher that the smell is coming from that shit. Then teacher tells us all to get out of the classroom (iirc, the teacher was holding her nose).

One more (my favourite): In a Grade 3, me and a bunch us were doing afterschool lesons. The guy next me was secretly playing with a yo-yo under the table. I asked how does one play with the yo-yo. He said to use the middle finger. Then I look at my hand and and then said "so this is the middle finger" WHILE RAISING THE FINGER IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. The teacher instantly said "PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!". The guy next to me snickered and told me what the finger meant.

And that's how I learned about the middle finger and "fuck".

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so the middle finger gesture predates brutal doom?

i had a teacher in high school who was obsessed with the paranormal and would make us watch things like the secret instead of having class. he was also claim he could levitate tables, and would make several students gather round a small round table, they would then plainly carry it, but everyone who participated would be like "man i didnt even touche it" ironically he would always mock religeous students despite beliving pretty coockoo stuff. he would also make us arrive early to do the janitors job XD

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X years ago we had this:
We were writing some test or sth and the teacher was explaining to us how to write all those "formal" things (school name, your name, blah blah blah). And then she told us to write our names at the end, but she said "S. N." (like "surname name", or "last name first name", whatever you prefer). And one guy actually wrote S. N...
It was 7th or 8th grade, mind you.

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I was also briefly boned for the middle finger trick. I had no idea what it meant, and so a kid was explaining it to me. Incredulous, I did it myself and asked him how the heck does it mean anything at all. The principle saw me (As we were reharsing the school Christmas play) and threw me in a classroom for fifteen minutes to think about what I've done. Probably could have been worse if it wasn't for the fact that my mom had bushwacked the principle earlier for punishing me for something petty, and so I'm guessing he didn't want another verbal assault.

Ironically, he later high-tailed it from the school right when everyone realized he was embezzling money out of it.

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I once carried a bunch of tools with me in my backpack around high school. I would always get to school early and bored with few people around; for a while I decided to be a useless piece of shit and start removing things like door hinges and so on. Once I disconnected an entire hallway door and just let it sit against the wall. The weirdest thing I got away with though was removing the wooden desktop from a joined desk/chair seat and smuggling the thing home under my coat. I know it stood out like crazy having this big pronounced flat front but somehow nobody cared. I guess I was that invisible.

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The only real interesting thing that happened while I was in high school was back when I was a senior. Some freshmen or sophomores decided to threaten the home-ec teacher and tell them they had a bomb on campus. The school went on lockdown, SWAT came in and searched the entire school. The kids were caught and later said it was a "prank".

While that was happening, I was making some shitty violent flash movies in my digital media class. Good times.

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Well, I was the weird kid in a slayer shirt that wore a trench coat. So I got made fun of a lot. One day, some kid goes, "Man, I saw Trace hanging out in the graveyard once talking to the headstones and shit, yo. He one of them crazy mofuckas, talkin to dead people and shit, son. Hahaha" everyone started to laugh. I didn't exactly care, but I loved fucking with people. So I took this opportunity to do just that. I told him that he was right and that he should have kept that to himself. I went on to say that I only talk to the spirits because I was so lonely and desperate for fiendship with anyone or anything that would be my friend.

He started to freak out.

"Da fuck you mean, Joe?! Nah man I's just playin witchu."

Turns out this kid was incredibly superstitious.

"It's too late now. You have angered us." And I started humming and moving my hands around and snapped my fingers.

"DAFUCK DID YOU JUST DO TO ME DUDE?!"

"You'll find out tonight when they come to visit you."

To make a longer story short, he went to the dean and got me written up. On the referal, under reason it said, "Practicing voodoo in class."

I was suspended for three days unless I went to the kid and told him I'd "lift the hex".

No bullshit.

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It was the 80's and things were weird.

Hmmm, there was this one time a few of us guys were standing about in the lobby when this odd teacher came along and told us to move along or he'd give us all detention. So we left and went back to the lobby after he was gone. He came back and told us to come with him. I was in the rear so nobody saw me sneak off to the library. The other guys got detention for a few days. He wanted to know who the missing kid was but they acted stupid. He swore he would get me but I never saw that teacher again.

One time we were having locker wars. I poured apple juice over one guys combo lock. I thought it was just gonna get sticky but he couldn't get it open and had to get a janitor to cut the lock off. Then some dummy brought in a roll of toilet paper with some kerosene on it. He was going to put it in somebody's locker to stink it up, but some teacher came along and he panic ditched it in a garbage can in the washroom. Afterwards the principal made an announcment over the p.a. that some arsonist was about and blah, blah, blah if anybody knew anything to come forward, etc.... That put an end to the stupid locker war thing.

We had lots of weird teachers. Had a geology teacher who always wrote numerous shit on two blackboards that we had to copy while he fucked off somewhere. Sometimes he would go back to the 1st blackboard, erase it and start over and these were blackboards that were doubled up. That was copying 4 blackboards full of damned notes. It was fukken mental. Sometimes he would leave, then come back when the class was almost done or he'd put some lame geology propaganda movie on and be gone for the whole class. One time he left his glasses in the classroom so one of the other kids switched glasses with him. He came back, put wrong glasses on, wrote a pile of shit on the blackboard, rubbed his head like he had a headache, took glasses off and left, so the kid switched the glasses back. The teacher never knew he had the wrong glasses on. One day he was gone so long we got bored and switched all the labels on his rock collection.

One time my buddy wanted to get his homeroom a christmas tree. So I went with him. throught the woods, over a train trestle and beyond before he finds the fucking tree he wants. Then we carry it back along the road for a couple miles or some shit. I miss a couple classes doing this tree hunt thing. So we get the tree back, put it laying down in front of the classroom door and knock on the door. The dude opens the door and all he can see is branches. He parts the branches to peer through and calls for my friend to move the tree (we were both hiding). I thought I was going to get in trouble for skipping class but nobody ever said anything to me.

Before the internet and cell phones and other tecnowonders there used be this thing called a slide projector that showed pictures on the wall. These things would have a cassette tape / cd jobby that played some narrative junk about the slides in question. When it was time to switch slides the recording would make a beep noise. My teacher was a bit dense so I tried making a beeping noise and he advanced the slide while the audio was still explaining what was on the previous slide. I did that a few times untill the whole thing was out of sync confusing the fuck out of the teacher and some of the kids.

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-One guy offered me ecstasy back when I was in 8th grade(I was in public school at the time).
-In the same year, a kid brought a knife to school because he was afraid of some bullies.
-In the same school, a year earlier, I saw a bully get his ass kicked by this fat girl from my class.
-Again, in the same school, this crazy old lady got inside during recess and started running after the kids playing tag. After a while two guards escorted her out of there.
-In high school(different school now), I saw two guy playing with a makeshift flamethrower(spray can+lighter).
-Still in high school, this guy in my class flashed his dick to an autistic girl.

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I started a fire in a trash bin at my high school like a fucking moron and got expelled for it. We were already talking about moving at this point so this was just one more reason to do so. Only weeks after we got to Australia my brother forwarded me this notice that the cops were trying to locate me for something related to arson.. I had no idea they were going to take it that far, but I pretty much unintentionally avoided them, which is good anyway since I had done 0 harm to anyone physically or financially and frankly didn't deserve to be chased up for it. This was about 4-5 months after the event even occurred, worked out well for me that they took so long to do anything!

Edit: The security footage pretty much proved it was me, but apparently there was some ambiguity about it. In the first questioning about it on the same day, they really, really tried to get me to pin it on this black kid who already had a lot of punishments under his belt. "We know you're trying to cover for him" was one of the lines I got but I refused to let someone get in trouble for some retarded bullshit that I'd done. I remember being blown away that I really had to work to convince them it was purely on me - they clearly didn't like this kid and were looking for any excuse to be rid of him.

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I was taught religious studies by a teacher who was a vicar and who in retrospect had some very strange ideas about the occult. A couple of years after he taught my class he left, and the rumour was that he was fired for having a sexual relationship with a pupil.

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HorrorMovieGuy said:

-In the same year, a kid brought a knife to school because he was afraid of some bullies.


I was carrying a knife to school between 3rd and 5th grade, just to be cool. Then one day it fell out of my pocket (during class), however I managed to run away. I've never carried a knife since then.
I also had one of those little bags for cameras, that you wear on your belt. Man, I had such insane stuff there: the aforementioned knife, 2 compasses, some sort of rope. Yeah, I'm a dumb guy.

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My little town was quite boring, but I remember a few funny things.


-some kid went mental and climbed onto the roof and wouldn't come down

-a bunch of chavs knocked out a pensioner (they would hang about smoking at the end of his garden)

-poop smeared all over the bathroom mirror

-janitors had a secret stash of beer in the lost-and-found

-weird kid brought an axe to school in his bag

-some kid fell over and you could see his knee bone in his leg

-some kid got knocked over riding a bike while wearing earphones, causing iPods to be banned

-discovered a giant turd on the bottom of the swimming pool during swimming lessons

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A Coka-Cola Vending Machine ate my $2. I went to the office to complain.

A couple months later I got a signed apology letter from Coka-Cola and a cheque for $2 I never cashed in. I should of taken a photo of it.

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During my last year at school (11th grade) one quite interesting story happened.
There is some sort of 'art gallery' in one of my school's halls. It's the place where various creative stuff is shown, done by kids from grades 1 to 4. Usually it's some small ceramic, wooden or plush toys, sometimes also paintings and other stuff. These items are preserved in small glass containers, which are not meant to be opened by students (and it's forbidden), but one can easily do it anyway, because the containers are not locked.
One day some dumbass from 11th grade (not from my class, from parallel), picked up one of the plush toys and vandalised it with a marker. How exactly did he vandalise it? Well, he drew swastikas on it, SS insignia, crossed-out Israel flags, HH, etc.. basically nazi stuff. And some other student caught him doing that and reported him to the teachers.
What happened next? All boys from the entire 11th grade were told to visit pricipal's office. Once we got there, the principal, first of all, told us what had happened. Then she basically started shaming that dumbass boy in front of everyone, while the boy was telling that it was all just a joke, that he wasn't a nazi, but she continued occusing him, gave us all a long rant on how bad the nazi are and all that stuff.
When it all ended, she asked us, if there's anyone else who is into nazi ideology. And.. three (3) other students raised their hands, without shame or fear. The principal, the other teachers, and the majority of the students were all shocked. At this point, the principal told all students, except the three who raised their hands and the one who vandalised the doll, to leave.
We literally expected those four to get booted from school immediately. But they.. weren't. We later asked them what the principal did to them, and it seems she just gave them another rant on how bad nazis are and nothing else.

Amusingly enough, just a few days before our 'meeting' in principal's office, a very similar situation happened to all girls from 11th grade. Why? Well, some girl has posted a nude picture of herself on social media, and then all girls were given a similarily long rant on, probably, 'how bad it is to post nude pictures'. And just like with the four nazis, the guilty girl wasn't expelled.
Well, our principal, was quite kind, to be honest, and i actually don't remember anyone to get expelled during my 11 years at school..

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5h grade - Me and some friends went to the janitor's room, that was some huge dump were they kept broken chairs and piles of old books and papers. One of my friends peed on the wall and thrashed the cleaning stuff there.
8th grade - Some kid defecated inside someone else's bag.
8th grade - A teacher started crying during class because she couldn't control the chaos in the classroom.
High school 2nd year - I saw a girl with her hand inside some guy pants, probably giving him a very slow handjob during class.
High school 3rd year - There was this day were criminals were burning busses (this happen often here in Brazil) and there was a lot of rumors in social media that they were attacking schools and universities too. This caused some mass hysteria in my school, with a lot of kids having panic attacks, crying and desperately calling their parents.
A few months after I finished high school - I heard some kid with heart problems died during class.

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Pedro VC said:

8th grade - Some kid defecated inside someone else's bag.

Captain Toenail said:

-poop smeared all over the bathroom mirror

-discovered a giant turd on the bottom of the swimming pool during swimming lessons


ROFL, that's some coprogrind going on. School in a nutshell.

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so, in 8th grade, we were doing a practice ACT test. this kid next to me, Jason, was a disruptive little crap. everyone thought he was hilarious, including me. so, when we were taking the test, me and him kept screwing around because we're dumb as a bucket of bricks. the teacher keeps calling HIM out, and not me, so...it gets a bit out of hand. Jason keeps talking back to the teacher, who then says "don't disrespect me, young man!"...jason replies with "don't you fucking disrespect ME!!"
the class burst out laughing, and jason was expelled. the end.


some other stories:

1.) in 5th grade, these two kids got in a fight...right next to me. they knocked over a desk and scared the hell out of me. teachers broke them up while i just sat there wide-eyed like a deer in the headlights.

2.) a stray dog somehow got into the school in 2nd grade...don't know how that happened.

3.) SOOOOO MANY STORIES ABOUT ME. i was a trouble child, especially in 5th grade...i was really emotionally unstable, and life sucked, and i was depressed and suicidal, blablabla who cares.

one time there was a fire drill...i was outside at the time, crying because of reasons, and hiding in a basket (i was small). the teacher had to DRAG ME OUT, while i was still crying, while EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT ME, and bring me outside. so, ye, that was fun

another time, in kindergarten, i flipped someone off on accident. i did not know what the middle finger meant.

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I had a high school teacher who got busted for fucking a student.

I knew a kid who took a shit in another kids backpack.

I once saw a fight that involved 14 kids

One kid legit fucked his girlfriend in the handicap elevator in between classes

I once brought a tiny bottle of habanero pepper extract and some toothpicks so we could try a drop. One kid thought he was a tough guy and chugged the whole thing. Kid was hospitalized for two days, dissolved 5 layers of his stomach lining and had to get his stomach pumped

One kid died from a brain aneurysm during a gym class. I wasn't there to see it but it happened while I was in school.

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40oz said:

I once brought a tiny bottle of habanero pepper extract and some toothpicks so we could try a drop. One kid thought he was a tough guy and chugged the whole thing. Kid was hospitalized for two days, dissolved 5 layers of his stomach lining and had to get his stomach pumped


what the fuck

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In my last 2 years i was the only male in class.

In my last year of education me and one of my classmates were playing with a soccer ball that had a hole in it, but the rubber ball inside was fine, then it started coming out and we had the idea of trying to rip it off, so i grab the ball with both hands on the front and my friend was gonna take off the rubber thing, and while doing so she just puts her breasts all over my hands, her boyfriend was there, all my classmates were there, nobody noticed.

Two years earlier i was in another school, almost reverse, there were only 2 girls in our class, and thus, dumbness ruled, our teacher went outside to bring an university girl who had the bad luck of doing practice there, out teacher asked us to be nice and not make a mess while she was out, we of course didn't make a mess, who am i lying to, they came back to a casino-transformed classroom, some people were playing poker, someone had lit a heavy incense and there were at least two flying condom balloons, and that's the story of how my classroom got severe penalties.

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i don't remember much exciting shit happening when i was in school. i do remember though that when i was in 4th grade or so, there was this school play that our class was doing.

in the building where the auditorium was housed, there was a door in the back that connected to one of the special class's rooms. in that room, there was a box filled with a ton of Pokemon cards. one of the 3rd graders in my class tried swiping the cards for himself, but a teacher caught onto him and made him put the back. however, i was wearing a button-up overall with deep pockets, so when no one looked, i swiped the cards successfully, and no one noticed it there, and the play went on fine.

when i got home, i just told my parents a kid gave me all the cards, and they bought it. the only one i told the truth to was my little brother. i actually swiped the cards OF said friend at a later occasion, which made me feel really guilty, so i told my dad about it and he put the cards back onto his shelf for me.

----

later on, in my third year of high-school, or the first, a guy had an epilepsy attack in class. i and another student went to get a teacher for it, as there was no one in the classroom at the time. it ended up fine though and he recovered quickly and continued fine afterwards.

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My friend hot into a fight with one of the weirdest kids I've ever met, he used to eat crab apples and wild berries whilst chewing everything in sight and dribbling like a hungry dog (earned him quite a few titles, my favorite was "smiler" due to the permanent grin etched on his face). During this fight my friend upper cut the kid in the stomach which caused him to projectile vomit all over my friend's back and arm (due to the upper cut being quite the blow he was basically impaled by my friends arm). My friend then vomited violently too in response...

Odd end to a fight.

-

Some dumb ass year 7 kid brought in a couple of "20 bags" of fat kush one day whilst I was in year 11, now you could smell this fucker for miles and it was obvious that some cunt was hitting the big old wacko tobacco. The teachers began hunting down this daft sod who comes up with the best idea:

Stash it in his locker, you know the one with his name on it.

Needless to say he got nabbed real sharpish, R.I.P weed kid.

-

This one involves the mighty Smiler again.

So me and Smiler's twin brother are best buds, we decide to prank poor old Smiler by opeing his cubicle door with a two pence coin, kick it open and chuck a handfull of soap on him befire he had to go back to class (a simple yet dastardly plot). We kick the door in and go for the kill until we notice this guy is not having a shit but was instead having a monkey spanking session (cheeky wank) whilst we were talking to him from the other side of the door... With a huge smile on his face of course.

Me and Smiler's twin just looked at eachother in horror... We then soaped him anyway and just left the room not uttering a word. The only thing the twin had to say to Smiler was "It was going to be just a quick laugh until you literally went and fucked yourself".

Shit got awkward for quite some time.

-

I got plenty more stories but I can't be arsed right now.

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I used to deal weed in high school. Also threw an empty glass beer bottle through the window of an abandoned house that was just down the street from my school. It was a shithole.

Me and some friends later broke the lock of the abandoned house door. We used it as a place to chill and get high until somebody saw and phoned our school. The principle came out and phoned our parents. One of my friends was expelled that year, for other reasons though lol. Thankfully my parents didn't care too much but I ended up leaving the next year anyways.

Good times. In hindsight my principle was pretty chill about the situation and I'm surprised I wasn't expelled on the spot.

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mrthejoshmon said:

a monkey spanking session (cheeky wank)


Sorry, what's a "monkey spanking session'?

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