Share a random fact about yourself

[seed]

8 hours ago, InDOOMnesia said:

Likewise, but change tiredom to boredom in my case.

 

If we're also talking about stuff you have to learn/study for in school or college, count me there to.

 

I don't know why, but if I have no inclination towards whatever I am forced to learn, I just cannot do it. It's frustrating to remember everything, and adding a poor, horrible presentation to it (walls-of-text)... yeah, it's no wonder I did so fucking poorly in college...

[DesecratorJ]

All that stuff about school really doesn't help my reasoning on why I did not go further than high school and a professional formation of two years. 

[seed]

3 hours ago, DesecratorJ said:

All that stuff about school really doesn't help my reasoning on why I did not go further than high school and a professional formation of two years. 

 

I still don't know how I feel about continuing instead of dropping from college honestly.

 

I mean, I failed, officially, since this was supposed to be my last year but I won't be able to get my license now because I still have failed exams I cannot possibly take again - their number exceeds the limit.

 

It looks like everytime I try to achieve something I have to fail and make a fool out of myself. No wonder I think so lowly of myself...

[ketmar]

1 hour ago, seed said:

It looks like everytime I try to achieve something I have to fail and make a fool out of myself. No wonder I think so lowly of myself...

i failed my first exams in my university (0.5 years), so i never "graduated", and have no diploma of any kind. it means that i am not a programmer, and k8vavoom doesn't exist. ;-)

[seed]

20 minutes ago, ketmar said:

i failed my first exams in my university (0.5 years), so i never "graduated", and have no diploma of any kind. it means that i am not a programmer, and k8vavoom doesn't exist. ;-)

 

Well, glad to see you've still managed to do something without it :p .

 

Me, however? I have no idea what I'm going to do after this year, add to that the fact that I'm complete and utterly directionless, struggling to find my purpose in general... ye, future never looked more grim - and liking something is pointless if I have no talent or I'm bad at it...

 

This year has been extremely depressing for me, and I think it's going to stay that way for a long time unfortunately...Not going to stop feeling worthless I guess, ever, esp when looking behind (and at others)... I wonder why do I even still live, really. Wouldn't have had a problem with contracting COVID-19 tbh, but it looks like I haven't suffered enough and more years of the same shit await...

[ketmar]

44 minutes ago, seed said:

Well, glad to see you've still managed to do something without it :p .

what i meant (yeah, i am extraordinarily good at making my points clear! ;-) is that it doesn't matter if you "failed" something. it simply means that either you didn't really wanted it, or your teachers failed. there are no things you "absolutely have" to do. if something is not going right, just try something another! i tried (and failed) alot of things, and keep trying (and failing). eh, i am not even a famous programmer, so i failed even that! ;-)

 

and knowing my talents at explanations, i don't mean that you're doing something wrong, no. just don't mind "failing", it dosn't worth your bad feelings. just say "meh!", and switch to something completely different. ;-) or even do nothing for some time. you're great. take it as the axiom. if you cannot do something, it just means that you're not great in what you're doing right now, but it doesn't mean that you're worthless, it means that you can try something else without feeling that you're "cheating" by switching. it is not cheating, you're just looking for the right way to show your greatness. ;-)

[seed]

24 minutes ago, ketmar said:

what i meant (yeah, i am extraordinarily good at making my points clear! ;-) is that it doesn't matter if you "failed" something. it simply means that either you didn't really wanted it, or your teachers failed. there are no things you "absolutely have" to do. if something is not going right, just try something another! i tried (and failed) alot of things, and keep trying (and failing). eh, i am not even a famous programmer, so i failed even that! ;-)

 

and knowing my talents at explanations, i don't mean that you're doing something wrong, no. just don't mind "failing", it dosn't worth your bad feelings. just say "meh!", and switch to something completely different. ;-) or even do nothing for some time. you're great. take it as the axiom. if you cannot do something, it just means that you're not great in what you're doing right now, but it doesn't mean that you're worthless, it means that you can try something else without feeling that you're "cheating" by switching. it is not cheating, you're just looking for the right way to show your greatness. ;-)

 

*boost for morale intensifies*

 

If only others would be that helpful, shows how much humans eat each other... It's quite hard to find something to do, and your self-worth as well, when you're always been treated like shit and how I'm just "a useless sack of bones carrying the bag from one place to another". It's worrying, honestly, it really makes you feel like it's truly you against the world - and the world is kinda gaining ground, which is never a good thing. But when you don't fit in - and I'm glad I don't! - is probably is indeed.

 

At the very least the Will is still there, which is what matters the most when pushing forward. The day you give up is the day you truly die.

[ketmar]

1 hour ago, seed said:

It's quite hard to find something to do, and your self-worth as well, when you're always been treated like shit and how I'm just "a useless sack of bones carrying the bag from one place to another".

yeah, that sux. but hey, don't let some assholes to shame you! after all, they're assholes, and they shown that quite clear, so why bother what they think? ;-)

 

if the world is wrong, we can accept it, or build a new, better one. it won't be easy, but hey, nobody will do that for us! and the best thing is that we simply need to not allow assholes to build their world instead, by not being assholes ourselves. it seems to be a small thing, but it really works. at least this is what i believe, and what i've seen time and again. welcome to the club, it is open for everybody! ;-)

[TwinBeast]

For me it's been two people to ask if I want children. One of them was my brother's girlfriend. Another was a nurse when I was having anxiety/depression/etc, and then we were doing some yearly plan for me, and she suggested/wrote into the goals of my plan for the year for me to have a family/children... uhhuh. But then didn't get any help to even take the first step toward that goal... another uhhuh.

 

Well, I have no idea if I want children and no idea how to know/decide if I want children. I'm panromantic, so I could be with anyone I find interesting, but if I want children, then I should be only with someone I could have them. Of course the reverse could happen that I get together with someone who wants children, then later on find out that I don't want children.

 

So, how do you know if you want children or not?

[seed]

7 hours ago, TwinBeast said:

So, how do you know if you want children or not?

 

I just... know, I guess. Having children is a pretty big commitmemt that should not be taken lightly, and it's kind of equivalent to self-sacrifice for someone else to me, funds, time, love, dedication, and so on, it just won't work otherwise. And self-sacrifice is something I will never be willing to do, period.

 

I suppose I'm not exactly the best person to ask about this lol, but hey, I tried my best to answer a simple question (well, it was simple to me at least). Maybe others see things differently, but this is how I do. It also interferes quite a bit with my choices...

Edited March 23, 2020 by seed

[ketmar]

23 hours ago, TwinBeast said:

So, how do you know if you want children or not?

it is very easy: if you have such question, then the answer is "no". and of course, in no case somebody else can decide this for you. (so my answer is just an advice too. ;-)

[TwinBeast]

I wanted children when I was 20, but now 15 years later I just don't know. I'm too indifferent and unemotional that it's difficult for me to decide anything when everything feels pretty much the same nothing. This is a problem with other things too.

 

Similar thing in my previous relationship attempt, didn't know if I liked her romantically. Thought, maybe I'll like her that way, or know that I've liked her that way all along when we'd been together for a year. But the relationship ended when we'd known each other for 2 months, so I don't know if I liked her romantically.

 

Previous summer I went to an amusement park with my friend. I wasn't exactly amused, I was just imitating the behaviour of my friend, so she wouldn't think I'm weird.

[seed]

9 hours ago, TwinBeast said:

I wanted children when I was 20, but now 15 years later I just don't know. I'm too indifferent and unemotional that it's difficult for me to decide anything when everything feels pretty much the same nothing. This is a problem with other things too.

 

Similar thing in my previous relationship attempt, didn't know if I liked her romantically. Thought, maybe I'll like her that way, or know that I've liked her that way all along when we'd been together for a year. But the relationship ended when we'd known each other for 2 months, so I don't know if I liked her romantically.

 

Previous summer I went to an amusement park with my friend. I wasn't exactly amused, I was just imitating the behaviour of my friend, so she wouldn't think I'm weird.

 

Can relate to a lot of things here, which makes answering "What is my purpose?" even harder than it already is when... nothing really moves me in a direction or another anymore. That's probably the result of being pushed away and made to feel insignificant and useless by small, pathetic individuals for all these years, eventually the sense of self-worth just vanishes and it's very difficult to get back on track afterwards. I've been struggling with that for years, and it's not pleasant at all. Being truly alone because "everyone wanted to help me but I disappointed them all eventually", according to some of them, is equally frustrating. Add to that an endless list of failed opportunities and my constant underachieving... yeah, the result ain't a pretty picture to look at.

 

Perhaps you only liked each other but were never too invested into a potential serious relation. This seems to be the case considering "it just ended", by the looks of it, so perhaps there never was something between you to begin with.

 

Amusement parks are something I don't get either. Most of the said "fun" just looks juvenile and cheap to me, for people looking into lame means of achieving a sense of entertainment. Just like partying by getting drunk on loud (sometimes craptastic) music I guess, never understood the appeal of these things. I suppose I want something more sophisticated or idk, but that seems to be the case.

[DesecratorJ]

Partying with fellow dudes by getting drunk outside at night while listening to metal out of the main civilization was one of my main sources of enjoyment actually.

 

Amusements parks is kind of meh to me though. I'm trying not to wonder too much what the fuck am I doing with my life at this point.

[seed]

8 minutes ago, DesecratorJ said:

Partying with fellow dudes by getting drunk outside at night while listening to metal out of the main civilization was one of my main sources of enjoyment actually.

 

More power to you I guess :p, but I never understood the attraction of getting drunk. I've been drunk before and it sucked.

 

9 minutes ago, DesecratorJ said:

I'm trying not to wonder too much what the fuck am I doing with my life at this point.

 

I am though. It's a good question I can't answer.

[taufan99]

3 minutes ago, seed said:

More power to you I guess :p, but I never understood the attraction of getting drunk. I've been drunk before and it sucked. 

I sometimes wake up pretty suddenly or forget to have a main course food (usually a dinner, but rarely also a breakfast), which nauseate me as a result, let alone getting drunk.

[DesecratorJ]

27 minutes ago, seed said:

 

More power to you I guess :p, but I never understood the attraction of getting drunk. I've been drunk before and it sucked.

 

 

I am though. It's a good question I can't answer.

Well I dunno, it's a social thing for me at least because outside of that, i'm an antisocial basement dweller, so if I have a chance to socialize a little bit with people I can relate to and have fun, I'll take it.

 

I'm also doing that some times and it makes me depressive, which is something I want to avoid for my health purpose.

I've been out of work for nearly 3 months now because I had a kidney stone and recently got it removed, and now with that Covid-19 crap, I have trouble getting back to my job for many reasons, including myself being fucking lazy since i've developed bad habits of doing absolutely nothing. Not a great start of the year for me, let's put that this way.

 

[seed]

9 minutes ago, DesecratorJ said:

I'm also doing that some times and it makes me depressive, which is something I want to avoid for my health purpose.

I've been out of work for nearly 3 months now because I had a kidney stone and recently got it removed, and now with that Covid-19 crap, I have trouble getting back to my job for many reasons, including myself being fucking lazy since i've developed bad habits of doing absolutely nothing. Not a great start of the year for me, let's put that this way.

 

You're not the only one, last year ended on an extremely low note for me, and this one also started on a very low note - Covid and me not getting my license this year are the best examples I can think of. I'm also struggling with learning things in general as well, either due to lack of motivation (just one of the many results of life-long trauma and abuse), or due to being extremely slow and incompetent at learning and not breaking everything in the process.

 

That thought might make us feel depressed, but we need to ask it anyway. It needs to find its answer eventually, otherwise we'll just keep running in circles forever.

[DOEL]

Disregard

Edited March 30, 2020 by DOEL

[Taw Tu'lki]

I lost potency the day before yesterday.
No, I'm not impotent. But I have a weak erection.

[w0ahsmea]

I taught myself how to read

[BluePineapple72]

7 hours ago, w0ahsmea said:

I taught myself how to read

That's pretty darned tootin impressive, if I do say so myself. How'd you go about doing this?

[w0ahsmea]

On 5/2/2020 at 9:50 PM, BluePineapple72 said:

That's pretty darned tootin impressive, if I do say so myself. How'd you go about doing this?

I don't know, just watched a lot of TV I guess

[Doom_Dude]

On 1/25/2020 at 9:19 PM, DesecratorJ said:

I absolutely hate to do phone calls and avoid it as much as I can.

 

Same here. I really hate talking on the phone and I avoid that shit. Even when I was a kid and it was all landlines, id call my friend and we'd talk long enough to confirm whatever it was we wanted to do and hang the hell up.

 

On 1/26/2020 at 2:08 AM, stphrz said:

I leave my smartphone at home all the time.

 

On purpose.

 

Good.

 

I find it funny when people drop their phones in toilets and then do the thing where they put the phone in a bag of rice. One time my sister in law dropped hers in the toilet and they were telling her to put it in a bag of rice and I told her to use minute rice, it's faster. ;)

[stphrz]

4 hours ago, Doom_Dude said:

 

Same here. I really hate talking on the phone and I avoid that shit. Even when I was a kid and it was all landlines, id call my friend and we'd talk long enough to confirm whatever it was we wanted to do and hang the hell up.

 

 

Good.

 

I find it funny when people drop their phones in toilets and then do the thing where they put the phone in a bag of rice. One time my sister in law dropped hers in the toilet and they were telling her to put it in a bag of rice and I told her to use minute rice, it's faster. ;)

Heh!

 

I don't take my phone into the bathroom.  Call me a buzzkill if you want but I can somehow manage to be apart from it long enough to take a dump.

[CyberDreams]

On 5/15/2020 at 1:47 AM, stphrz said:

Heh!

 

I don't take my phone into the bathroom.  Call me a buzzkill if you want but I can somehow manage to be apart from it long enough to take a dump.

Since my phone sucks i still read magazines in the bathroom. Usually Game Informer. Too much info? lol

 

 

Edited August 24, 2020 by CyberDreams

[BrassKnight]

I have a habit of rolling my eyes whenever I blink.

[arnaldocsf]

I worked in the same place for over 8 years now. 

And yesterday... I gotta a call and will start in a new place, with higher salary and better benefits. 

Also, I will try to help a friend to get my latter position in the older place, so... I'm having a good day, guess. 

[Smouths]

Before I could read (must've been 2 or 3 years old,) I memorized the dos commands to start Doom. That's probably one of my first gaming memories, along with Mario on the NES.

Edited June 4, 2020 by Smouths

[BigBoy91]

i have severe eczema and have to administer a shot of Dupixent every other week.