Share a random fact about yourself

[Good-Old]

2 hours ago, seed said:

 

Doesn't help with much since I can already feel my life slipping away, I might be physically young but mentally I feel already old, in fact, sometimes I don't even know why I even wake up anymore, it feels as if I'm battling the absolute unknown. Never felt I have much purpose since honestly, if I've not managed to do much in 23 years I very much doubt I'll suddenly become one hell of a man full of achievements when I'm 40/50 and too old to care anymore.

 

I am no stranger to mistakes though. In fact I'm an expert in creating problems, but I always come on top, ultimately, so I guess it's not all just for naught, and I did learn a lot of the loooong string of mistakes I've made ever since I first started walking on this despicable ball of dirt.

School makes me feel that I'm a useless piece of shit. Hell, I also remember becoming suicidal a long time ago. Thank frick there wasn't a painless suicide method. I also end up creating problems and destroying the peace, but sometimes(or mostly)it just isn't my fault. My mom always rages whenever I game for more than the alloted time(usually a filthy 1 hour). But I don't get what's unfair in it, especially when I complete all my work before gaming. It's just my mom's temper and she blames me. A few days ago my mom was just sitting on a chair, she looked sad so I asked her what happened. Then she gave a long lecture, threw some things out of the shelf and then went out of the house(in the pandemic!) But she didn't go far and eventually came back. All of the blame went to me. This sounds unbelievable but you don't know her temper. 

People may be blaming you for starting the problem, but if they lose their temper way too easily then it's their fault and not yours, please try to understand.

Most people in the world are shit, that's a lesson I have learnt in all these years. It is what makes us realise that the world is indeed a despicable ball of dirt.

But there is still a lot of good in this dirt ball, when we feel suicidal we only look at why to suicide and we always forget about the reasons to live.

I don't understand the need for being full of achievements and finding your purpose. If you're happy with yourself, you're happy. Live your life for yourself. Just because others don't like you doesn't mean you suck. 

I might have typed something wrong, but what I wanna mean is, everything's not your fault, and you don't deserve death.

[seed]

47 minutes ago, Good-Old said:

Most people in the world are shit, that's a lesson I have learnt in all these years. It is what makes us realise that the world is indeed a despicable ball of dirt.

But there is still a lot of good in this dirt ball, when we feel suicidal we only look at why to suicide and we always forget about the reasons to live.

I don't understand the need for being full of achievements and finding your purpose. If you're happy with yourself, you're happy. Live your life for yourself. Just because others don't like you doesn't mean you suck. 

I might have typed something wrong, but what I wanna mean is, everything's not your fault, and you don't deserve death.

 

Well, because achievements are what make us realize we made something with out existence and didn't "just exist". What you do, what is left after you're gone, for better or worse, that sort of thing, and when you have nothing to look back to, it's a very depressing sight indeed, because if you do nothing, then truly, you're probably nothing too, that's what I mean.

[DesecratorJ]

9 hours ago, Doom_Dude said:

That getting kicked out of school thing reminds me. I was never kicked out of school, but one time I was sitting in class and this other guy up front turned around and said some stuff to me I didn't like. He was being an ass, so I told him out loud to fuck off. The teacher kicked us both out in the hall. After a few minutes out in the hall we became friends and laughed about it.

That just reminded me of one similar thing that happened in my school days (was about 14-15 years old).

 

One of my buddy and myself were in a class of culture and religion, and the teacher wanted us to do a project about some shit that I don't remember, but something in regards to religion of course. We actually refused to do the project and the teacher told us in front of everyone in the class to get out in the hall if we don't do the required work. Other students were laughing and we just step up from our desk and told "Ok" and moved out of the class to the hall with two other guys that followed us afterwards. Later on, the teacher came to see us while we were hanging out in the hall, and asked why are we not doing the work... I just told her that religion and this class sucked, and she sent me to the director and I just told him the same thing... I just ended up being suspended from the class, no big deal.

 

Worth it for fun sakes.

[Good-Old]

8 hours ago, seed said:

 

Well, because achievements are what make us realize we made something with out existence and didn't "just exist". What you do, what is left after you're gone, for better or worse, that sort of thing, and when you have nothing to look back to, it's a very depressing sight indeed, because if you do nothing, then truly, you're probably nothing too, that's what I mean.

To be honest, I didn't change anything (and probably won't in the future) either. I don't know what difference would have happened if I didn't exist? I didn't help make anything. In fact, I really made the world worse, by being born in a country where my marks isn't good enough (70%). I do think my parents would have liked a better son.

But did I die? No! I don't have an interest in changing the world because I can't. I don't get why it is so important to do so to be able to be something.

 

[seed]

9 hours ago, DesecratorJ said:

That just reminded me of one similar thing that happened in my school days (was about 14-15 years old).

 

One of my buddy and myself were in a class of culture and religion, and the teacher wanted us to do a project about some shit that I don't remember, but something in regards to religion of course. We actually refused to do the project and the teacher told us in front of everyone in the class to get out in the hall if we don't do the required work. Other students were laughing and we just step up from our desk and told "Ok" and moved out of the class to the hall with two other guys that followed us afterwards. Later on, the teacher came to see us while we were hanging out in the hall, and asked why are we not doing the work... I just told her that religion and this class sucked, and she sent me to the director and I just told him the same thing... I just ended up being suspended from the class, no big deal.

 

Worth it for fun sakes.

 

Oh wow, now that must have been pretty fun :D. Would've done the same honestly, but then again, I always got only 10 at religion back when I was in school, so I had no problems putting a false false just for the sake of having adding another 10 to the totals.

 

This reminds me of some of my friends as well, who naturally had the same opinion on religion (or to be less vague because there is no one religion in this world, the Abrahamic faiths), and one of them went as far as making two version of the essay he was supposed to write for a test. In one of them he harshly but very validly criticized the faiths and their influence on our world, and in the other one he insincerely praised them. He got a 2 for the one where he criticized it, and a 10 for the one he insincerely praised them. The moral of the story here being that "You don't write what you want, you suck it up and write what I want to hear, or else."

 

2 hours ago, Good-Old said:

To be honest, I didn't change anything (and probably won't in the future) either. I don't know what difference would have happened if I didn't exist? I didn't help make anything. In fact, I really made the world worse, by being born in a country where my marks isn't good enough (70%). I do think my parents would have liked a better son.

But did I die? No! I don't have an interest in changing the world because I can't. I don't get why it is so important to do so to be able to be something.

 

 

Not to change the world, mind you, but simply making the most out of your existence while you're here. If you "just live" and do nothing with your life, then what's the point? That's not my idea about life at all.

 

Can sympathize with the feelings of rejection and failure though, I'm pretty much in the same boat. They've both told me that I am a "major disappoitment" and useless for a long time now, I've made peace with that, and I always will be in their eyes because of my choices, and because I refused to allow them to do everything they wanted to with me under the pretext that "it's for my own good, parents are here to always teach you good things".

[Good-Old]

58 minutes ago, seed said:

Can sympathize with the feelings of rejection and failure though, I'm pretty much in the same boat. They've both told me that I am a "major disappoitment" and useless for a long time now, I've made peace with that, and I always will be in their eyes because of my choices, and because I refused to allow them to do everything they wanted to with me under the pretext that "it's for my own good, parents are here to always teach you good things".

1 hour ago, seed said:

You don't write what you want, you suck it up and write what I want to hear, or else.

 

 

Not rejection, just parents telling me that it isn't enough to get a job. Still not entered college. I am 14 years old. Tired of that saying though. It's mostly true but it's mostly and not always.

And yes, I finally understand your point.

Also, that's just school. Master of forcing opinions.

 

[TwinBeast]

I've been an assistant instructor in online gender diversity support groups 2 times. They went pretty well, also got to instruct some little couple minute stretching & relaxation moment both times. I'll be doing more of this later, yay!

 

3 hours ago, seed said:

He got a 2 for the one where he criticized it, and a 10 for the one he insincerely praised them. The moral of the story here being that "You don't write what you want, you suck it up and write what I want to hear, or else."

Reminds a of what happened with two people showing the teacher a wooden object one of them made. Can't remember which order they showed it, but one of them got a 7 and the other got a 9 from it. Apparently the teacher didn't notice it was the same object.

 

In my current studies, I had 2 workplace instructors in the 3rd workplace. One of them thought I had good skills with people, the other thought I had bad skills with people, and that I was very incompetent and could not do anything on my own without being told what to do. When really I don't need anyone telling me what to do, I'll figure it out on my own. She just couldn't stop being controlling, even on days when she told me she'd just observe what I do. Maybe I was too shy to tell her to stop it. My teacher also liked how I had worked there.

 

I'm thinking it also depends who's rating you what kind of ratings you get. People aren't that neutral that their personal opinion about you wouldn't affect their rating about your performance in something.

 

Still got english course (doing this today), swedish course, sustainable development course and 2 chooseable courses left to do, and the demonstration week, which I may be able to complete at the school in august, and then I'd graduate. Really hope I can do the demonstration stuff at school, the workplace instructor in this 4th workplace hasn't been good, although not the worst either, but don't really want to see her again. Though my indoor shoes are still at the workplace office, and I want them back.

[printz]

21 hours ago, seed said:

- Facebook sucks. - Oh yes, it does, all social media sucks anyway, it's a plague that needs to die, nothing else to be said here.

Facebook is good if you use it for its namesake (socializing) or for getting matter-of-fact news (I follow a guy from my village who's into politics and is very keen on posting relevant stuff on Facebook). Facebook was very useful for me before the pandemic because I would easily find weekend events to attend. Now it's less useful, I'm considering removing it if it weren't for the occasional important news and articles. Otherwise yeah, it's a "plague" that gets filled with bots, paid shills and boomers. Avoid the comment sections.

[seed]

2 hours ago, printz said:

Facebook is good if you use it for its namesake (socializing) or for getting matter-of-fact news (I follow a guy from my village who's into politics and is very keen on posting relevant stuff on Facebook). Facebook was very useful for me before the pandemic because I would easily find weekend events to attend. Now it's less useful, I'm considering removing it if it weren't for the occasional important news and articles. Otherwise yeah, it's a "plague" that gets filled with bots, paid shills and boomers. Avoid the comment sections.

 

And also filled with retards with "opinions and facts", people who "have done this or that, been here and there, cooked this or that, bought this or that" and so on. It's a shitshow.

 

The idea of social media may have been good, but the execution is horrid. I'd gladly delete it in an instant, but sadly some of the stuff I care about is there.

 

3 hours ago, TwinBeast said:

I'm thinking it also depends who's rating you what kind of ratings you get. People aren't that neutral that their personal opinion about you wouldn't affect their rating about your performance in something.

 

Not "think", it does. It depends a lot on the person here, and no-one is truly neutral as they love to brand themselves as. Humans are not machines who can fact check everything on 100%, so there will always be a certain level of bias present, for some more, for others, less.

[ketmar]

On 6/16/2020 at 8:26 PM, seed said:

Yeah, can't argue with that, in school you learn an awful lot of things that may or may not be interesting, but they all share one thing: They have also zero practical use in everyday life.

actually, most things they're giving you in school do have practical use. it is just nobody ever bothered to tell us how and where to use that. most of the time it is given as "abstract knowledge". it looks useless because you have the tools (knowledge), but nobody taught you to actually use those tools.

 

but your point still stands: modern teaching sux. ;-)

 

p.s.: i was exploring Satanism too. and look how it ends -- i am a communist now. don't go that way, or you may become something even worser! (usually "don't go there" is the best way to make people actually go there; let's try it)

Edited June 18, 2020 by ketmar

[seed]

24 minutes ago, ketmar said:

actually, most things they're giving you in school have practical use. it is just nobody ever bother to tell us how and where to use that. most of the time it is given as "abstract knowledge". it looks useless because you have the tools (knowledge), but nobody taught you to actually use those tools.

 

but your point still stands: modern teaching sux. ;-)

 

Precisely.

 

A lot of things we learn in school could be useful, but they're taught in such a crappy way they almost want to make us want to forget everything, because of outmoded teaching methods, which aren't even really teaching anything - sorry, but just remembering everything word by word and vomiting it without understanding or seeing the bigger picture is neither teaching nor learning.

 

24 minutes ago, ketmar said:

p.s.: i was exploring Satanism too. and look how it ends -- i am a communist now. don't go that way, or you may become something even worser! (usually "don't go there" is the best way to make people actually go there; let's try it)

 

Nah, been there done that. Authoritarian/totalitarian regimes are not my cup of tea, I've studied them on a basic level (will admit that I didn't dig too deep, yes) and although there are some aspects that seem alright, they ultimately don't "connect" or resonate with me at all. Then again, no political regime/ideology does to me honestly, hence why I consider myself mostly apolitical.

 

This is actually why, as your random fact for today, my political affiliation is actually none, I don't identify with any political movement. Left, right, center, socialist, democrat, communist, and so on, none. I usually take ideas from multiple sources and make my own thing - a syncretism if you will.

[Doom_Dude]

6 hours ago, seed said:

And also filled with retards with "opinions and facts", people who "have done this or that, been here and there, cooked this or that, bought this or that" and so on. It's a shitshow.

 

I can't stand FaceDork. That's what I call it... Fucking FaceDork or FaceShit.

I hate the design of the place and like you say, "have done this, cooked that, saw blah blah at walmart LOL". I find it so damned boring.

 

22 hours ago, DesecratorJ said:

That just reminded me of one similar thing that happened in my school days (was about 14-15 years old).

 

One of my buddy and myself were in a class of culture and religion, and the teacher wanted us to do a project about some shit that I don't remember, but something in regards to religion of course. We actually refused to do the project and the teacher told us in front of everyone in the class to get out in the hall if we don't do the required work. Other students were laughing and we just step up from our desk and told "Ok" and moved out of the class to the hall with two other guys that followed us afterwards. Later on, the teacher came to see us while we were hanging out in the hall, and asked why are we not doing the work... I just told her that religion and this class sucked, and she sent me to the director and I just told him the same thing... I just ended up being suspended from the class, no big deal.

 

Worth it for fun sakes.

 

Haha I'm sure I would do the same given the option to go in the hall. I'm so damned glad I didn't take any kind of class on religion. Some of the classes I did take were stupid. I took an Ancient History class that should've been really interesting. The teacher was so damned boring and lazy. He wasn't there most of the time. He would give us a subject and we had to figure it all out by going to the library and then have to debate some dumb question he came up with. It was disappointing. That's all he did gave us subjects, questions and made us debate it. He didn't do any teaching. What a dick. I took Geology and the teacher would have 4 blackboards of notes we had to copy. He would leave for 15 minutes only to come back and erase the blackboards and fill them up again for us to copy more notes... Sometimes he would put a movie on, leave and come back at the end of the class. Sometimes he put on the same movie the following week. Fuck. I don't think he ever noticed that we swapped out all the labels on his rocks.

[Chip]

I am alive

[CherubCorps]

Just got the results of my NCLEX (National board of nursing test). I am now officially an LPN (Licensed practical nurse) and can finally practice in the state of New York! Getting this was hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

[ketmar]

3 hours ago, seed said:

This is actually why, as your random fact for today, my political affiliation is actually none, I don't identify with any political movement. Left, right, center, socialist, democrat, communist, and so on, none.

actually, me too. i don't care if it is left, right, or upside-down. just burn it all with fire.

 

and on-topic. due to recent breakage of World of Spectrum site, i finally found that there are other Speccy sites around. which somewhat renewed my interest in Speccy, and i fixed some bugs in my emulator. yay. now i have to divide my time between k8vavoom and Zymosis. does anybody have a cloning device to spare?

[noisebloom]

7 hours ago, seed said:

This is actually why, as your random fact for today, my political affiliation is actually none, I don't identify with any political movement. Left, right, center, socialist, democrat, communist, and so on, none. I usually take ideas from multiple sources and make my own thing - a syncretism if you will.

 

Same... How dare we have our own opinions?!

[Good-Old]

7 hours ago, Doom_Dude said:

4 blackboards of notes we had to copy

It is so common in our school, we have to copy that every single day. A minimum of 10 blackboards per day.

[frag enabler]

Due to a knife mishap and me misjudging its sharpness I only have nine functional fingers.

[taufan99]

36 minutes ago, SuperchargedEuthanasiaDiv said:

Due to a knife mishap and me misjudging its sharpness I only have nine functional fingers.

Ouch...

Spoiler

Which finger has got affected?

 

[frag enabler]

8 minutes ago, InDOOMnesia said:

Ouch...

  Hide contents

Which finger has got affected?

 

Left 
Sliced right through my tendons. The finger was was completely paralyzed. It got sewn back together by an incompetent surgeon and healed badly as a result, so now the  is perpetually bent - I can't straighten it. It significantly weakens my grip, slows down my typing and since I'm left handed, it also means having a crippled dominant hand. Even if I wanted, I couldn't sue, because I was forced to sign a form and waive my right to pursue legal action in case the surgery went wrong. I think I could, technically, file for disability however.

[seed]

As your random fact for today, I usually associate actors etc. with their fictional persona, or an iconic role they've played in movies/shows rather than who they actually are.

 

For instance, when I think of Mads Mikkelsen I think of "Hannibal Lecter", same for Anthony Hopkins, or Laurence Fishburne with "Morpheus". Or Robert Downey Jr. with "Iron Man", Chris Evans with "Cpt. America", Kate Beckinsale with "Selene", Sean Connery with "James Bond", Bela Lugosi with "Dracula", Jack Nicholson with "Jack Torrace/Joker", and so on, you get the idea.

 

I tend to do this for a while with recently met people as well, if I know them from a different place, but I eventually adjust to their real persona.

[DesecratorJ]

2 hours ago, seed said:

As your random fact for today, I usually associate actors etc. with their fictional persona, or an iconic role they've played in movies/shows rather than who they actually are.

 

For instance, when I think of Mads Mikkelsen I think of "Hannibal Lecter", same for Anthony Hopkins, or Laurence Fishburne with "Morpheus". Or Robert Downey Jr. with "Iron Man", Chris Evans with "Cpt. America", Kate Beckinsale with "Selene", Sean Connery with "James Bond", Bela Lugosi with "Dracula", Jack Nicholson with "Jack Torrace/Joker", and so on, you get the idea.

 

I tend to do this for a while with recently met people as well, if I know them from a different place, but I eventually adjust to their real persona.

I usually do the same thing tbh, mostly because they are most known for having played this specific character and I just end up linking them to the movie/serie. However, I try not doing that but sometimes it's just how I call them by default even though I know the actor name lol.

[Chezza]

+ 1 here, associate most actors with their popular characters. I think most people do the same when trying to share names of actors when appearing in another movie.

 

I mean, do we all really focus on credits, search moddb, watch movie awards?

[Maximum Matt]

Inversely, I cannot see Arnie as anything other than Arnie in whatever movie he's in.  He ain't Conan, or the T-800, or Dutch, or Quaid, he's AAAAAAHHHHNIEE!!!!

Spoiler

^{Get to da choppa etc...}

 

[seed]

On 6/20/2020 at 12:58 AM, Chezza said:

+ 1 here, associate most actors with their popular characters. I think most people do the same when trying to share names of actors when appearing in another movie.

 

I mean, do we all really focus on credits, search moddb, watch movie awards?

 

Heh, I suppose not, but it's kinda odd in a way, for actors maybe less so, but imagine meeting people on the internet in real life and addressing them by their internet name, that'd be pretty hilarious. Can't wait for someone to call me "seed" or six :p .

 

 

Sure loved the show to fucking death, dang. Binge-watched it actually, finished it in 4 days, and it's was interesting to see where Will's and Hannibal's relation went up until that point, a textbook example of a toxic relationship, Hannibal hurts them but it's obvious they can't live without each other either. It's ironic that it had a fitting final episode before it got cancelled, but now apparently Netflix got the rights to it and it started airing in the US since June 5th - it's not available here yet. Mikkelsen has also made some teases at the beginning of this month, so I want to believe that if the numbers look good, it's coming back. It really was cancelled just too damn soon.

 

I found it interesting that they also chose to basically redo Red Dragon at the end of Season 3, but with a different cast. I like the TV show version of it more.

[seed]

On 6/9/2020 at 12:15 PM, MFG38 said:

I get emotional very rarely, and whenever I do, it's usually over fictional works, such as video games or movies. No joke, I can cry over the death of a fictional character, but if a relative dies IRL, I most likely won't shed a single tear.

 

I hate needles. And blood. I hate anything to do with blood so much, in fact, that I can't even listen to people talking about blood-related diseases without feeling like I'm going to faint.

 

Seconding this as well. I hate needless as well, but blood stirs mixed reactions for me. It doesn't bother me in movies, if I cut myself, but I absolutely cannot stand seeing it filling vials or seeing it into them, or syringes, it makes me wanna puke. Dunno how that works.

Some fitting music first.

 

Same for being dysfunctional in terms of not showing emotions over what happens to real people, but doing so for movie/video game characters. Dunno why we're so fucked up. But with real people I think I know the reason why at least - lack of deep knowledge of the person, or forming bonds with them. It is EXTREMELY rare for me to form deep bonds with people, and if I can't connect with them on a deeper level I just can't feel their absence when they're gone. In order to miss something you first need to possess the said thing, the connection in this case, but I have long closed that possibility. I don't trust anyone or love them that dearly that I would feel like half of my being was severed when they disappeared.

 

But I can care and even cry for "fake" personas because I get emotionally invested into them just by watching their relation with the events and the other characters, so when they die or whatever, it feels as if I "lost" someone I think I know, but obviously I don't, and none of us really does either - only their creators actually know them, what we hope to grasp is nothing but a perception of them.

Edited June 21, 2020 by seed

[TwinBeast]

1 minute ago, seed said:

Heh, I suppose not, but it's kinda odd in a way, for actors maybe less so, but imagine meeting people on the internet in real life and addressing them by their internet name, that'd be pretty hilarious. Can't wait for someone to call me "seed" or six :p .

I went to some chat meets (3 years ago), and everyone except one, called me Twin or Twist. And I called everyone with their online names too, except this one who called me with my real name. Also my response time to my online name was faster than to my real name, but I had used my online name longer. When I started school, people would sometimes have to call me twice until I realised: "Oh, that's me, I should say something".

 

I could fill vials with blood. Although it would probably not be as cool as it sounds.

 

Suppose some emotions are needed to form bonds with people, to motivate being with them and connecting on a deeper level. Lacking that inital spark, people stay a bit distant, even if relations to them were otherwise friendly.

[FireballCaco]

I can't eat any gluten.

[ketmar]

1 hour ago, seed said:

imagine meeting people on the internet in real life and addressing them by their internet name

exactly what i am doing all the time. i can't remember any "real" names anyway. but that's maybe partly because i am ketmar everywhere, and i am using that IRL since my... teen years, i guess. so it is questinoable if it is "nick" or "name". ;-)

[vanilla_d00m]

47 minutes ago, FireballCaco said:

I can't eat any gluten.

 

I'm the same way.  Gluten intolerant.  Got to remind myself to drink soy milk instead.