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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, insertwackynamehere said:

I’m going to admit I’m making a lot of assumptions while reading between the lines on that post, but are you saying that you are $20k in debt due to trying to help someone and still going? Maybe in a year you’ll stop digging? You can’t help people until you help yourself, taking on debt for someone else is not a great idea. What’s stopping her from taking on this debt directly? You say she’s going to pay you back but then why doesn’t she just go into debt herself rather than using you as the middle man? Like I said I’m making a lot of negative assumptions here that may be out of line, and I don’t want to be argumentative about it, but just at least think about what I’ve said and ask yourself honestly if I’m on to something here about what’s going on, or if it really is a situation where this makes sense and it didn’t come across well out of context.

She did go into debt, to the tune of high five/low six figures. She came to me after about forty or fifty grand on this herself. Burned through her savings, did advances on her life insurance, the works. She's the type of person who hates even asking people for money in the first place.

 

Tonight I just got news that supposedly their lawyer's supervisor's supervisor will put an end to all this mess soon, and I sure fucking hope it does. She's tired of asking me for money, much as I'm tired of giving it. It's slowed down a lot since its worst months in September/October of last year, but it forced her out of work for a few months, she came back in January, and has been out again since Mid-March, during which time she'd pay me back but be forced to ask for it back when more of a mess came up, and since judges just won't take their word for a damn thing (they consider her an "unreliable witness" due to her living with the person who's having all the troubles - basically insinuating that she will always lie and so they disregard her as a source for an alibi, which is so bullshit I don't even know where to begin), they insist they have to pay or else get clinked, as opposed to the assholes who keep filing false bullshit on them. But without it being settled she can't reliably work due to various circumstances I'd rather not get into on a public post, which in turn is where it puts pressure on me since I'm often their last resort.

 

In the end I'm a sane adult who will make sure I've covered the costs I need to, but it'd mean cutting them off, and I'd hate feeling miserable over essentially condemning them to a fate that'd make their family literally collapse.

 

I've warned her that if it doesn't end soon though, I want out of it and will be refusing further requests for money. Eventually there's a point where one reaches their limits when dealing with other people's problems, and for me and her, that point is drawing very close if their lawyer's boss's boss doesn't stop it. It's to the point where I feel like I'd rather deal with the guilt of "abandonment" over putting up with another year of this mess - that's for sure.

 

And I'm certainly not having another summer ruined over shit like this. It either ends by the time work ends in mid-late June, or I stop giving money - because then I'll be out of work until September, and will literally need my savings I get between now and my last check in mid-July.

Edited by Dark Pulse

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Posted (edited)

I will say this, I don’t have intimate knowledge of the process. But bankruptcy is a thing to prevent this. When a lender lends you money they are balancing risk vs interest (as opposed to a friend lending you money). I’m glad to hear she has lawyers but I hope that bankruptcy is on the table. If a bank or other loan operation lends someone tens or hundreds of thousands they can’t pay back, it’s the lenders problem. They are supposed to balance risk vs reward across the population of borrowers. When it all falls apart, declaring bankruptcy is valid. There is no shame in not paying back an institutional loan that you can’t afford (although it’s far from ideal, I’m not advocating being in this situation just arguing it’s not morally wrong to get out of it with bankruptcy if you truly cannot pay).

 

As long as she has lawyers they know more than a random non lawyer on the internet, but hopefully all that is on the table.

 

more importantly I hope it all works out for you though

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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, insertwackynamehere said:

I will say this, I don’t have intimate knowledge of the process. But bankruptcy is a thing to prevent this. When a lender lends you money they are balancing risk vs interest (as opposed to a friend lending you money). I’m glad to hear she has lawyers but I hope that bankruptcy is on the table. If a bank or other loan operation lends someone tens or hundreds of thousands they can’t pay back, it’s the lenders problem. They are supposed to balance risk vs reward across the population of borrowers. When it all falls apart, declaring bankruptcy is valid. There is no shame in not paying back an institutional loan that you can’t afford (although it’s far from ideal, I’m not advocating being in this situation just arguing it’s not morally wrong to get out of it with bankruptcy if you truly cannot pay).

 

As long as she has lawyers they know more than a random non lawyer on the internet, but hopefully all that is on the table.

 

more importantly I hope it all works out for you though

She can't do bankruptcy, an ex-husband of hers royally fucked her credit, and it's too soon to declare another from that one.

 

As for me, my loans are through some gracious friends, and I'm doing my best to pay them off as fast as I can. I wish I could do it faster, but I don't make a ton of money, so the $500 a month is about the best I can do while still meeting my bills and leaving me at least a couple hundred a month for myself, and they're all generally very patient and understanding, thankfully. At the rate I work and make money, it will take me about 3 1/2 to 4 years to pay them all off in full. Most of them (by numbers) can be paid off in the next 12-18 months, but two people hold 2/3rds of the debt in monetary value.

 

It's just problematic because continuing to pitch in on her situation is eating that small source of "extra" money, and I feel myself getting fed up. I know she's fed up too, I'm just desperately hoping that it does get finally put to a stop, because if not, I will have to tell her I can't do it anymore before too much longer, and that will make me feel like total dogshit and like I'd abandoned her in a time of need (stupid Leo tendencies).

 

I don't like feeling like I abandoned people I trust at all, but I also know I have to be responsible and put myself over her if it comes down to it. Me not doing that is exactly why I'm in this mess in the first place - I desperately fought to keep her working and her family from falling apart.

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Yeah nothing you do at this point is going to make you a bad person with regards to handling this situation. If anything, you’ve been too nice. I get what you mean but just know that if anyone tries to make you feel guilty about not furthering your own debt for someone else they are objectively wrong. I do hope it all works out for everyone though.

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Posted (edited)
21 minutes ago, insertwackynamehere said:

Yeah nothing you do at this point is going to make you a bad person with regards to handling this situation. If anything, you’ve been too nice. I get what you mean but just know that if anyone tries to make you feel guilty about not furthering your own debt for someone else they are objectively wrong. I do hope it all works out for everyone though.

She knows and understands. Believe me, she's said again and again her biggest regret from all this is getting me mixed up in it and derailing my life, and I know she wishes she didn't have to ask me for money even now. She likewise understood that if something doesn't change soon, I have to cut her off - just told her tonight that after what I'll be loaning her in the morning, I really only can afford to give her $40 more.

 

In truth, that's a white lie - I'm not in that dire of financial straits, and my bills for this half of the month are good until my next paycheck - but there is a genuine worry that with her out of work due to this fiasco, that she will prioritize paying me back over covering her own bills (all she gets is her social security check right now with her being out of work), and the higher she owes me on a short-term basis, the more I feel like she might be tempted to rob Peter (her bills) to pay Paul (me).

 

Hopefully it doesn't come down to this guy being unable to end their mess. If it does, this is probably ending with innocent people being put in jail since I'm one of the very few people they can rely on for a loan in terms of money, and her being royally screwed as a result if I'm forced to shut the valve. -_-

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Posted (edited)

I'm into a lot of really macho shit. Action movies, violent video games, big dogs, fine cigars, good beer...

 

.....Jem and the Holograms...

 

 

Edited by Impie

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1 hour ago, Impie said:

I'm into a lot of really macho shit. Action movies, violent video games, big dogs, fine cigars, good beer...

 

.....Jem and the Holograms...

 

 

Another victim of 80's hair bands.

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Posted (edited)

I deleted my Facebook account, and since I was doing that, I decided to do the same with my EA, Epic Games and Ubisoft accounts. The customer support on the latter is shit though, so I don't know if the process is done even though I started it about two weeks ago.

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I recently discovered "8D" audio, but everytime I try listening to it, my back feels super-tingly and I can't help but squirm around endlessly to it 😅 Strange sensation, that!

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19 minutes ago, Xyzzy01 said:

I recently discovered "8D" audio, but everytime I try listening to it, my back feels super-tingly and I can't help but squirm around endlessly to it 😅 Strange sensation, that!

I love how they're using "Dimension" completely and totally inaccurately there, since when it comes to sound, there's no such thing as a different phase of existence - merely how many speakers are surrounding a listener to reassemble a specific soundscape.

 

And it sounds basically just like someone had a little too much fun processing an attempt at a binaural recording. Now if you really want something that'll give you the tingles and squirms, listen to one of those. Do it with eyes closed for best results.

 

 

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Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, KVELLER said:

I deleted my Facebook account, and since I was doing that, I decided to do the same with my EA, Epic Games and Ubisoft accounts. The customer support on the latter is shit though, so I don't know if the process is done even though I started it about two weeks ago.

 

Woah there mate, all those accounts? I can see why FB had to go (after all if it wasn't for various pages and bands I'd do the same), but did you have games on the other accounts?

 

Tbh I think EA's is the worst from what I've seen. There's even been cases of people finding their account deleted without notice and EA acting like it's never existed in the first place, not to mention the support page which is a joke.

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6 hours ago, seed said:

Woah there mate, all those accounts? I can see why FB had to go (after all if it wasn't for various pages and bands I'd do the same), but did you have games on the other accounts?

 

Nah, I didn't have anything worthwile in any of them, just one free game in Origin and UPlay. I deleted my EA account because fuck EA, the Epic one because I didn't like Fortnite and I don't want their spyware on my PC (also fuck Epic, they've descended into a new low), and the Ubisoft account... well, it was doing nothing honestly; I never used it.

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21 minutes ago, KVELLER said:

(also fuck Epic, they've descended into a new low)

 

Enlighten me, haven't heard anything recently.

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1 hour ago, seed said:

 

Enlighten me, haven't heard anything recently.

The supposed "spies on your Steam list" bullshit that far too many people blew out of proportion.

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20 hours ago, seed said:

Enlighten me, haven't heard anything recently.

 

Aside from their launcher spying on your computer (which isn't that surprising considering several companies do similar things), they've been buying timed exclusivity for games. The Division 2, Metro Exodus, The Outer Worlds and Borderlands 3 are some of the games that will not be on any other platform for at least a year after launch.

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2 hours ago, KVELLER said:

Aside from their launcher spying on your computer (which isn't that surprising considering several companies do similar things), they've been buying timed exclusivity for games. The Division 2, Metro Exodus, The Outer Worlds and Borderlands 3 are some of the games that will not be on any other platform for at least a year after launch.

 

Way to force people to use your launcher.

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2 hours ago, seed said:

 

Way to force people to use your launcher.

Congratulations! You fell for the trap everyone else fell into.

 

You can have one of the following:

  1. A monopoly that keeps things all nice, centralized, and convenient for the consumer at the cost of utterly crushing competition and dooming most games that aren't on it to obscurity and financial inability to recoup costs, or
  2. A competitor who will force the big dog to adapt, change, and adjust, but in exchange, will land deals themselves and mean the end-user must install another piece of software or wait for the exclusivity to end (assuming it ever does - see any EA titles since Origin's launch).

You can't have both. Choose one.

 

As much as I love Steam, the ship sailed to complain about exclusivity years ago. See Origin, UPlay, etc. Inaction led to companies deciding that is fine for their business. Funny how nobody complains about the games they don't want being exclusive to another launcher, but as soon as one they want is, they foam at the mouth and begin acting like it's some new, vile, and repugnant behavior.

 

It's none of those, and if you, in fact, support competition in the digital game storefront market, you'll not complain a peep about this. You might complain about having to wait or whatever, but you won't act like Epic are being bullies. Something like this right now is literally the only way their storefront will survive.

 

And I say this having amassed a Steam Library of thousands of titles. I even own a Steam Controller AND a Steam Link. This isn't me talking out my ass, this is me saying you got a choice of an effective monopoly, or a slightly inconvenient thing called "competition."

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14 minutes ago, Dark Pulse said:

Congratulations! You fell for the trap everyone else fell into.

 

You can have one of the following:

  1. A monopoly that keeps things all nice, centralized, and convenient for the consumer at the cost of utterly crushing competition and dooming most games that aren't on it to obscurity and financial inability to recoup costs, or
  2. A competitor who will force the big dog to adapt, change, and adjust, but in exchange, will land deals themselves and mean the end-user must install another piece of software or wait for the exclusivity to end (assuming it ever does - see any EA titles since Origin's launch).

You can't have both. Choose one.

 

As much as I love Steam, the ship sailed to complain about exclusivity years ago. See Origin, UPlay, etc. Inaction led to companies deciding that is fine for their business. Funny how nobody complains about the games they don't want being exclusive to another launcher, but as soon as one they want is, they foam at the mouth and begin acting like it's some new, vile, and repugnant behavior.

 

It's none of those, and if you, in fact, support competition in the digital game storefront market, you'll not complain a peep about this. You might complain about having to wait or whatever, but you won't act like Epic are being bullies. Something like this right now is literally the only way their storefront will survive.

 

And I say this having amassed a Steam Library of thousands of titles. I even own a Steam Controller AND a Steam Link. This isn't me talking out my ass, this is me saying you got a choice of an effective monopoly, or a slightly inconvenient thing called "competition."

 

I never said that I wanted a monopoly, just that it is inconvenient to use a million launchers for just a few games, for me anyway, and this timed exclusivity thing... honestly I can't see the logic behind it.

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22 minutes ago, seed said:

I never said that I wanted a monopoly, just that it is inconvenient to use a million launchers for just a few games, for me anyway, and this timed exclusivity thing... honestly I can't see the logic behind it.

Like I said, that ship sailed years ago. It's inconvenient, but it's necessary for competition. Steam gets a cut of every title sold, so the only way to avoid giving Steam a cut is to not be on Steam at all. That's a death knell for all but the biggest publishers.

 

Timed exclusivity is simple. Publisher works out deal with storefront. Storefront gives publisher money in exchange for exclusive access. Storefront then gets to crow about how hot new game is only available on their store. Storefront collects the windfall because it's either you buy from them or you don't legally buy the game until exclusivity ends.

 

Storefront thus gains a base of customers who will use their launcher to play that game. This means more opportunities to show them more ads for more games, which the player might then buy.

 

All for a relatively low sum of money paid to the publisher.

 

Steam now has to compete for these exclusives, rather than be the default. This means Steam will have to give the publishers a sweeter deal, because Epic is being especially aggressive with their cut.

 

This means publishers, too, get more money - they either go with Epic's low rates, or Steam is forced to match or beat it, something that will only get harder if Epic's userbase grows, as it's about the only leverage Valve has left.

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I don't like monopolies at all and steam needs to be taken down a pegg but I'm also not a fan of taking games hostage instead of providing more value than what your competitors are offering.

 

But I also understand steam had years to provide the features as they do. I don't have answers but I don't have to approve of Epics strategies either.

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7 hours ago, Dark Pulse said:

You can have one of the following:

  1. A monopoly that keeps things all nice, centralized, and convenient for the consumer at the cost of utterly crushing competition and dooming most games that aren't on it to obscurity and financial inability to recoup costs, or
  2. A competitor who will force the big dog to adapt, change, and adjust, but in exchange, will land deals themselves and mean the end-user must install another piece of software or wait for the exclusivity to end (assuming it ever does - see any EA titles since Origin's launch).

You can't have both. Choose one.

 

You know, it's funny because GOG exists as a competition to Steam and they are seemingly breaking your rules. They didn't act like assholes to get to where they are now, quite the opposite in fact; they have a service that's more consumer-friendly than Steam (although it's clear that it wasn't enough to take Steam's throne). Besides, this kind of competition doesn't benefit the end user at all, at most Steam will reduce their cut from game sales, but that's it.

 

7 hours ago, Dark Pulse said:

As much as I love Steam, the ship sailed to complain about exclusivity years ago. See Origin, UPlay, etc. Inaction led to companies deciding that is fine for their business. Funny how nobody complains about the games they don't want being exclusive to another launcher, but as soon as one they want is, they foam at the mouth and begin acting like it's some new, vile, and repugnant behavior.

 

But this was limited to first-party games. AFAIK no game company had actually paid publishers for exclusivity.

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1 hour ago, KVELLER said:

 

You know, it's funny because GOG exists as a competition to Steam and they are seemingly breaking your rules. They didn't act like assholes to get to where they are now, quite the opposite in fact; they have a service that's more consumer-friendly than Steam (although it's clear that it wasn't enough to take Steam's throne). Besides, this kind of competition doesn't benefit the end user at all, at most Steam will reduce their cut from game sales, but that's it.

But let's be honest. Do you really think of GOG as a go-to store for the new stuff?

 

No, you think of it for the old stuff, which was their original focus. Good Old Games, after all.

 

GOG's problem is simple. Lots of gamers have a sizable Steam library. Therefore, they will stick with Steam. GOG doesn't offer anything modern that you really can't get on Steam for the most part, it's not chasing publishers for exclusivity, and it's not really offering lucrative enough percentages to make up for the lower visibility a GOG exclusive would net a publisher.

 

So while it's competition, it's not real competition. Nobody is going to pick GOG over Steam unless it's the older stuff that Valve mostly doesn't care about. And while they're trying to get newer stuff on there, this means they have to compete with a highly entrenched and efficient platform, with no real reason (for users or publishers) to pick them over the juggernaut.

 

Epic's tactics force Steam's hand in a way GOG never has.

 

1 hour ago, KVELLER said:

But this was limited to first-party games. AFAIK no game company had actually paid publishers for exclusivity.

Clearly you have already forgotten about games like Destiny 2 then. But you're mixing things up - it's the storefronts that pay the publishers.

 

It's hardly new, it's just not something done on PC too much. It's done much more on consoles, where Sony will pay Activision to get a Call of Duty DLC pack as Playstation-exclusive for awhile. The aforementioned Destiny 2 also has items that aren't supposed to drop unless it's the Playstation version... for a little while, anyway.

 

Simply put, Epic knows that fighting Steam is going to take more than reducing percentages. All Valve would need to do would be to cut Sweetheart deals with the big names, while having everyone else still be the high rates. Voila - Steam is more "publisher friendly" and Epic's percentages now becomes nullified. Steam keeps its monopoly, Epic becomes just another store.

 

Epic, though, by hitting Steam in a place they can't retaliate easily - exclusivity - is going right after their weak point. To retaliate, Steam now has to out-deal Epic - a tough call when Epic is already giving very generous cuts, and so Valve must dig much deeper into their pockets to make a competitive offer.

 

That said, Epic too has its weaknesses. Being a "more curated" store may well cut out the riffraff Steam had, but it also means Epic will almost certainly never give rise to a "big indie hit." There's definitely also questions about how it's social stuff will look once that is all implemented.

 

But the long and short of it is you're not going to compete with Valve if you play by Valve's rules. You will lose. To be a competitor to Valve, you must be willing to play a little dirty - because Valve is certainly not going to play clean themselves. It's a dog-eat-dog business, and Valve is very, very good at it.

 

So you leverage your strengths and hit them somewhere they can't easily counterpunch, as that's the only way to stand up and not be instantly crushed.

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I used to hate GOG but i like them now. From what i've heard, GOG used to just repack old games into dosbox and sell them. It was nothing new. Then they eventually started to sell games with more "work" put into them, including making them work on modern OS's and including goodies as well (as well as rescuing old franchises that were in limbo). I didn't even know that they weren't known as "Good Old Games" anymore until a few years ago. It's just GOG now (it has no meaning). They to had to resort to selling some newer games (as well as the classics) to compete with Steam and others.

 

I've always hated Uplay (Ubisofts thing). I used it a few times a few years ago for some free game and the launcher was horrid. Same thing with EA's Origin. Origin is so unsafe it's not even funny. My account got hacked by some russian (luckily i got it back). I only have it for the free games that were being handed out as well as a copy of Battlefield 4 that a buddy bought me (they stopped giving away monthly games btw). I've read tons of forum posts about Origin accounts being hacked so i guess it's very common.

 

I recently installed the Epic and Bethesda ones to get the monthly free games but i haven't even played any of them tbh. I didn't have a copy of Morrowind so i got that (i only have the Xbox version and it's not even the GOTY one). I doubt i'll use them much, but so far i don't mind more launchers i guess although i do hate having to have all of these different launchers for certain games though (so in a way i guess i do hate them xD).

 

I do prefer Steam as i've never had any issues with it, even after not logging in for a long period of time, my account was still there and safe (GOG is fine too). But let's all be honest here, nothing will ever beat owning a real physical copy of a game. It's too bad those days are pretty much gone unless it's some special edition that costs an arm + leg.

 

 

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40 minutes ago, CyberDreams said:

Same thing with EA's Origin. Origin is so unsafe it's not even funny. My account got hacked by some russian (luckily i got it back). I only have it for the free games that were being handed out as well as a copy of Battlefield 4 that a buddy bought me (they stopped giving away monthly games btw). I've read tons of forum posts about Origin accounts being hacked so i guess it's very common.

 

All clients suffer from this, it's not specific to Origin, and it can virtually happen to any kind of account. Steam used to have real struggles with this for instance, I remember reading a News article on the store saying that Support returned thousands, if not more accounts back to their owners each month, not to mention that Steam supported OSes which reached EOL years ago, and that might have very well played a role in how (in)secure was the client.

 

They dropped support for XP only this year, an OS that reached EOL way back in 2014.

 

https://support.steampowered.com/kb_article.php?ref=1558-AFCM-4577

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@seedI do remember when XP/Vista reached EOL support in 2014 but i heard that it had a few workarounds to keep it going a bit longer (not that i would personally use Steam or modern programs with it though). I mean it was a great OS, so in a way i don't blame some people for not wanting to let go, especially if all you had was really old hardware. I have problems letting go of things, as i'm still using Win 7 ;) I was late to Win 7 though and i completely skipped out on Vista although i have used it before.

 

Anyways, i think the Origin thing i was referring to was a problem specific with Russian hackers. Also something to do the with the Sims 2 Ultimate Collection that was only given away for a limited time back in 2015 or so. It had every DLC + Stuff pack in it and it ran natively on Win 7 and above. After the limited time that it was free, it was impossible to get so people who had it were either selling there accounts on Ebay for high prices or getting there accounts hacked so others could play the game/sell it. Sort of like how the Steam Keys for the Duke Nuken Megaton Edition sell for high prices (except without the account hacking part).

 

TBH, at first i didn't give a shit about the account because i never used it, nor played the Sims 2 on PC before, but a buddy of mine liked the Sims games and i remembered that i used to play the first one when i was younger a lot so i decided to try to get my account back and i managed to do so.

 

But in the end you are right. Any client and/or account is vulnerable. I wasn't using an outdated OS though (luckily) as i think that Win 10 was still newer at that time, but if i was it definitely would of been more vulnerable then a frequently updated modern one.

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3 hours ago, CyberDreams said:

@seedI do remember when XP/Vista reached EOL support in 2014 but i heard that it had a few workarounds to keep it going a bit longer (not that i would personally use Steam or modern programs with it though). I mean it was a great OS, so in a way i don't blame some people for not wanting to let go, especially if all you had was really old hardware. I have problems letting go of things, as i'm still using Win 7 ;) I was late to Win 7 though and i completely skipped out on Vista although i have used it before.

 

Vista reached EOL in 2017, 2014 was the year for XP.

 

XP had become my favorite Windows, so I do miss it as well, but after support ended there was no reason to stick to it, not to mention that security was never its strong point. As someone who basically used Vista from day 1, you didn't miss anything, it was dead on arrival. Sure, it got better with Service Packs and monthly patches, but it was so flawed at a fundamental level there was nothing MS could do to save it, so it ended up as an OS no one misses, and a lot of people chose to stick to XP due to how bad it was at release, or jumped to 7. Vista was slow, unstable, and at release, had an almost absurd number of compatibility issues.

 

But I think some people also hate change. XP became a beloved Windows for many people over time, but surprise surprise, supposedly people hated it at release as well. Now 10 also gets a lot of hate, which is, from my POV, the result of MS releasing poorly tested updates and forcing upgrades rather than the OS being rotten and broken to the core. I've been using it since version 1607 and although I did run into stupid bugs introduced in monthly updates, I have not run into critical issues. It's without a doubt vastly superior to 8.1 from my experience (which I've had many problems with), and I don't feel the need to return to 7, even if I could. I was definitely afraid to use it at first given the fact that some problems were blown out of proportion though.

Edited by seed

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5 hours ago, seed said:

XP became a beloved Windows for many people over time, but surprise surprise, supposedly people hated it at release as well.

The hate was very real for XP then. I think a part of that was because there were no XP-compatible drivers available for older hardware and people got mad at the thought of having to upgrade just for a new OS. Some stuck with Win98 for DOS compatibility. There was also wariness about Windows after the shitshow that was WinME. The Luna interface was likened to Fischer-Price toys and I'll admit that I turned it off because "muh memorys" and because I was used to the Win98 interface. But man, that Royale Noir skin that came out later was sleek, dark, and alluring enough to use it.

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