Doom 3 Story

[Linguica]

DOOM 3 STORYIES!

“this time its really part 10” some of the writing below may be disterbing to younger viewers. viewer discresion is advized a long time ago before trees were invented, lived a man in the forest. his name was elton john, but most people called him timmy the human cyborg. timmy was a good dog that aways did his homework and fed his grandma pre-chewed marsh mellows. timmy didn’t ask for much in life all he ever wanted was toy here or there or even just a hug. (or so they thought) what timmy really wanted, was to find his magic stapler and wish for immortality in order for him to take over the earth.(so he did) but then as he was making his wish the butcher appeard and said could you make my clever twice as long. timmy said no way! then the he got mad and said well mr. anderson how can you talk if you don’t have a nose! noooooooo! then timmy disapeared………then timmy reapeared!! then he disapeared…………..and so it happened the butcher got his wish! then god appeared and said hey that’s not nice and a giant cow cookie appeared in his hand and he ate the cookie “ that was good” then he took another one and slapped the butcher and he died…………the end …..just kidding ( if you read this far then you must be extremly bored or extremly stupide just like me) then the which said would you like this shinny red apple. “okay” siad kenen lipskum but he didn’t die as the whitch had hoped. what !!! okay then how about this red wagon “okay” then he turned into neo from the matrix and said i love pokemon. the sankitty of thus pleec had ben fowled. it’s hot down herz. i must be getin close yo. ( this is where it starts getting confusing) so mr owl said mr. wiggles why didn’t u do your homework !!!! “ my monoply bored ate it” oh okay give it to me tomarrow. then the magic tooth brush appeard and killed all the tickle me elmos and santa said nooo you don’t know what you’ve done then he turned into a monkey and ate all the bananas in the world then hotdog (the ho bo). attacked lippo and stole his sacred quarter and lippo got mad and trasformed into a giant man eating rag (yes just like the ones in the cafiteria) and he attacked hotdog. it seemed that hotdog was about to die ..when he disided to use his secret weapon he told him one of his jokes “ okay so the chickin ate the horse and turned into chicken horse then he said mortal combat while doing the mocarana and watching ghostbusters” no what im saying but lippo wasn’t fooled he already new how to make grilled cheese. so he ate hotdog and turned into lippodog he was very happy. the end remember kides stay in school and some day you could be just like me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dog he was a dog he had a tail he also had a head but he did not have a leg he lost his bone so he stole one from the bone museem yo! yo i like to say yo yo no what im sayin yo sun of a yo get it yo it a joke yo elderado the city of yo get it yo another joke yo diablo he is big he is very big he is really big he is really really big he is really very really big he is very very really really big he is so big the when he walks down the street people say “ who is that really very reallt very very very really very really huge very really big very really very very big cat yo the end

this is a story that is never ending meaning - it will never end this means that the story that im about to write will nerver end. basicaly what im trying to say is that this is a story that never ends. now then, lets review im about to write a story that never ends lets begin!! 500 years ago before the earth was born there lived a man that lived on the planet mars, this was an evil person that enjoyed in the sufering of others his name was eleon gonzolos!! once upon a time there lived a mean litle giant small afican mexican chinees white american indian that lived in the alps he's dream and goal in life was to be able to play shoots and laters with his dog! but since he had no arms he could'nt play so one day he drove to the docter and said i want arms right now!!! the docter replied okay so he pasted two meatle poles to his stomach. eleon was very happy so he went home and went to the grocery store he wanted to buy some lucky charms but there was an old handy capped man gaurding them so he waked him in the head with his shiny meatle pole arm thing then he bought the butter and licked it all up. like a good little monkey then diablo came out and said " wheres my baolony sandwitch" then his mom came out and said "it 's on the table sweety" then the erath fell in the sun and that ledies and gental men is how dinosaurs were born so... he stole the silver and got the cheeri oos and went fishing all by him self. then all the sudden the giant life saver hit him in the head and he was dead then he took the "wake up from the dead pill " and he was all better untile the mole people took him into his magic cave of elederado then elon gonzolos came and said im eleon gonzoloes that means dont mess with the bunny or els. the mole people told the magic butcher of cheese land and he stole the magic johnson and said i'l trade you for your michle jordan "okay" said the one armed hippo ! then the will smith came and took all the pokemon cards and said pi ca ch uu i love youu then he didn't like how every one was eating the kit kat bars so he said cvs is a good place if u like bab uuns then he was very really super very really upset then he was happy then he was mad then he told god that he didn't believe in the toof fairy so god punished him and hit him with a ping pong paddle and said next time i'll use a row boat then he ran to his dog and finally got to play shoots and laters the end.........or was it 5 years later the dog ate sherwood diner and said "bark ba ba bark" and ran in his castle then king arthor said where are my nights of the round shinny wooden table so he bought all the money and sold it for more money and he live happily ever after.......untile the giant cow cookie fell and ate all the bab uuns then he said to him self " hey i lost my elerado" then his meatle poles feel off his arm and he said ohh well i can always use my knee to play on the swing the end

elderado part 7 "this time he's really elderado!.......... once upon a time there lived a giant mellon in a far away place called elderado he was very sad because he lost his sack of potatoes then the magic balony fell from the sky and he wished for a new red wagon so he died........................then he woke up and said " elderado" and bought 3 grease burgers at burger king then he went to pepin and said i need 5 healing potions and 2 bags of underwear!!!?? he then went to sleep for 7 days and 7 nights and said " who wants to see my elderado ? " then he became angry then he became happy and then he was very really so very very really happy so he went out with his boy friend and they lived happily ever after but then 7 years later the cookie man said i want my elderado back so he gave him the prun then he ran away while eating some fish.? and he lived happily ever after..then 2 seconds after he saw the most biggest fatest gigantic small tiny large mouse and said " r u stuwert little " the mouse looked at him and said (in a german ac sent)" bend over "????? so he did then the mouse smiled 2 hours later ....2 more houres later elderado woke up and found him self in a cage strapped down with duck tape then he saw the butcher doing the mac a ran a so he played chess with sherif not ing ham and the fox said " no thats not elderado thats the garadge silly"????????????????????? to be continued???

they say he's immortal. they say he lives forever. but most say he cannot die!...............................................................................once upon a time there live a boy named elderado. he was a nice boy that did what his parents told him. but one day he was mad so he did'nt want to eat the balony sandwitch so he ate his grandpa's front door then he went on a rage!!! he ran to sam goodie and put all the cd's in his pants and then went to cvs and purchest 59 pixi sticks he then took the pixi sticks and said "elderado" then aunt jamima came and said "my baby's got some gas eat some bread sugur" then elderado farted and the the earth fell in the sun, mr sun was happy because he always wanted to eat the earth and they lived happily ever after!!!!

lippo is a harry potter.....................lippo is a panda..............lippo is a mellon..........lippo is a erofigus / er off ig gus..............lippo.........is...............a....................................d........e.......o...n!!!!!!!!!.....................................????bye????????? chosen_one75hotmail.com

hi my name is cookie. i live in cookie land. i have lots of cookie friens. but one day an evil cookie came to cookie land and robbed a cookie bank and said "give me all the cookies", it seem that cookie land was about to loose all there cookies................until a giant cow cookie fell from the sky and hit the evil cookie, and cookie land was safe ....or was it two weeks later another evil cookie came to cookie land and said "deon you so tender" then he left cookie land and it was safe again.....or was it.....2 days later a giant mean lardy fat large smelly sticky big huge gigantic blob of fat name sam albahrry attacked cookie land and ate all the cookies ....when he was done he farted and out came danny then kevin apeard and brought his lego collection and they lived happily ever after the end ..........................................................................ps sometimes i eat cookies........especially oatmeal

once every ten years a creature comes out of the dark and does terrible things his name is elderado....................................................................................................................once upon a time there lived a man that lived in a nice friendly house. that liked to so say "elderado" one day the house got mad and said "elderado" then he was happy. then diablo came and stole his front door and said "no hurt no kill" then he played monopoly with him self and ate a pizza then the butcher was mad because he didn't use the lego collection so he bought a red wagon yo then the house was back to normal yo. so he used the door for his computer then he was upset because he lost his coin collection so he bought the black musherum and killed the bad guys then he bought some root beer and some coke and some cheese and some toilet paper and some pizza and some speakers and some printers and some staplers and some cd's and some keybords and one oatmeal cookie! then he gave the tennis racket to his god and he said " percy come quick" then he was sad because he lost the magic lamp and couldn;t find the toilet yo so he bought some horses and ate there hoves and said " elderado " elderado " elderado " elderado " then he bought the car and went to the magicle place of wonder and stole the map and found the treasure and lived happily ever after!!!!! to be cointinued...

this is a story that you and your children will soon not forget, this is about a panda named elmer fudge...> once upon a time there lived a nice polar bear named diablo he was a nice cat that always cleaned the stove and went to the circus after he feed his pet monkey. but one day he did not want to eat the candy cain so he went home and found the gold and said "elderado the city of gold" one day he was mad so he ate his discovery channle and then he went to the museem and bought all the bread and went home to eat diner. the end to be continued!






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[fraggle]

wrong forum!

[DooMBoy]

wow ling what siklls youse hsa gotten yuo are thee kindg of teh fna fiktshun you are theh go d of rittin roflroflroflrofllolololol

[Kid Airbag]

Which hole did you pull that one out of, Ling?

[Sharessa]

LSD + Notepad = this

[nxn]

Something is making me think there's a hidden msg somewhere in that thing, and logic is also telling me to avoid looking for it.

[fraggle]

This reminds me of Pokey the Penguin...

[Sharessa]

Pokey the Penguin reminds me of Korrine.

[Naked Snake]

the_Danarchist said:

Pokey the Penguin reminds me of Korrine.

Korrine reminds me of bukkake or however it is spelled...

[Sharessa]

For sooth.

[SyntherAugustus]

where did you get these? these are funny as hell.

[IMJack]

Is this... some kind of test, or something? Who sent this to you, Ling, that I might hunt them down and beat them with the Board of Education?

[Sharessa]

RailGunner said:

where did you get these? these are funny as hell.

What? I'm not able to piece together one complete sentance in that mess, let alone find any humor in it.

[læmænt]

bigbadgangsta said:

Korrine reminds me of bukkake or however it is spelled...

bukkake reminds me of Hentai

[Liam]

*insert funney*

[Kid Airbag]

lament said:

bukkake reminds me of Hentai

Hentai reminds me to strangle Liam next time he mentions dickgirls.

[Sharessa]

Archvile64 said:

Hentai reminds me to strangle Liam next time he mentions dickgirls.

Strangling Liam reminds me of his bad taste in music.

[Liam]

and dickgirls reminds me to extract major from q3 and then open her up in lightwave to put a bulge in her pants

[wasted]

Liam the Bard said:

and dickgirls reminds me to extract major from q3 and then open her up in lightwave to put a bulge in her pants

oh boy, major is the hottest chick in q3, and the most beautiful one... hmm, i forget about lucy - that one is the most elegant one...

so whats the topic? ohhh, i get it - thats one of those strange secret msg texts thats converts usual humans to zzzommmbbbeee...

yyyeeaaahhh, now i seeee youu master....

[Naked Snake]

wasted said:

oh boy, major is the hottest chick in q3

Pfft, Crash is sexy!!!

[Livo]

Ling- what the hell was that?

[GooberMan]

/me notices the Doom community collectively go "WTF???"

[wasted]

GooberMan said:

/me notices the Doom community collectively go "WTF???"

thats straight to the core...

anyway i think that Ling wont tell us what was that...

yeah, bbg, Crash is Doomy, but shes got the helmet, so how can you be sure about her??? me thinks that Lucy is the most desireble chik >:)

[Carnevil]

the_Danarchist said:

LSD + Notepad = this

LMAO! :)

[Little Faith]

We might just have the rare honour of seeing a post by Linguica getting posthelled.

[gatewatcher]

so, you do goto earth in doom 3 after all. huh. thanks for the info ling =P

[Submerge]

Uh, what about teleporters? You forgot teleporters!

[999cop]

major and lucy? omg, /me pukes!

crash & hunter own

[nxn]

Someone link me to a Britney Spears model, NOW. And I don't want just any model, I want one where she jiggles her boobs as a taunt.

[Sharessa]

Little Faith said:

We might just have the rare honour of seeing a post by Linguica getting posthelled.

I dunno. Back in the day, pretty much every one of Ling's threads turned into flame wars and were subsequently post-helled. That was back when Ling posted about once every week or so. Heh.