Making friends is one of the hardest tasks I've ever felt required to do

[Neurosis]

1 hour ago, geo said:

The friends I had in high school are either in prison or dead.

 

I am everyone's therapist. Then about 8 years ago I decided. Nah I'm not everyone's therapist.

This so much. It gets old being everyone's therapist and they don't even give a shit about you. This girl I liked in HS I was basically her personal therapist and she said "you always say the right thing at the right time" but ended up with some loser instead. lol maybe I'm still SALTY about it, but that was a long time ago and I don't talk to anyone from HS anymore (by choice). I just think people should put in the same kind of effort that I'm putting in. Like, nobody OWES me anything, but give a little effort will ya? This is why I don't fuck with people anymore. People just make me incredibly angry or incredibly depressed anymore, like I legit wanna love and accept everyone and I do, but then they pull stupid shit. 

 

1 hour ago, Maisth said:

Please you are making me tear apart.

you're tearing me apart Lisaaa

[MrGlide]

Make friends here. If there was a way you could show us how you approch people some of us could give you some tips.

[DooM_RO]

Great to see I am not the only misanthropic autist around here!

[Barons O' Fun]

I only have 4 offline friends;

Shotgun

Computer

Soda

DOOM!!!!!!!

 

And what do you guys mean you have no friends? You have 17 425 friends here at DoomWorld that are all here for you! And we all have something in common, DOOM!!!! It unites us all :)

Edited June 24, 2017 by Barons O' Fun

[Phade102]

@stru I hope you see me as a friend, I'm always happy to chat and be someone you can talk to, even if I am halfway across the world in australia.

[Arctangent]

I've struggled with running into people I want to be friends with but having no idea how to actually achieve that in any way. I don't know if that's even actually possible. It just seems like I acquire friends by being in the same place as others and the both of us growing fonder of the other.

 

Hell, both of my best friends I met through just going about my hobbies. Though that has the caveat that there's plenty of people who I've met and stayed in the same social group for literal years and never grew remotely as close to.

 

School is a good example. I didn't exactly grow any closer than familiar with my classmates.

 

1 hour ago, Barons O' Fun said:

And what do you guys mean you have no friends? You have 17 425 friends here at DoomWorld that are all here for you! And we all have something in common, DOOM!!!! It unites us all :)

I get the feeling you're pretty lacking in significant bonds between other people if you think sharing a single interest with ten thousand people automatically makes you friends with all of them.

[Barons O' Fun]

@Arctangent I'm trying to cheer people up, is there a problem with that?

[Arctangent]

Yes, attempting to cheer people up by completely misunderstanding what's got them down and making light of it is pretty insensitive and can usually do the exact opposite.

[Barons O' Fun]

@Arctangent I didn't mean it like that. But saying I have a social problem is not called for and helps nothing at all, you know...

[BadLuckBurt]

Maybe we should all move to Impman11203's trailer park in Texas and grow old together.

 

Is there a Doom chat or IRC for Doomworld somewhere? I wouldn't mind having a chat with people here besides posting.

[geo]

3 hours ago, Neurosis said:

This so much. It gets old being everyone's therapist and they don't even give a shit about you. This girl I liked in HS I was basically her personal therapist and she said "you always say the right thing at the right time" but ended up with some loser instead. lol maybe I'm still SALTY about it, but that was a long time ago and I don't talk to anyone from HS anymore (by choice). I just think people should put in the same kind of effort that I'm putting in. Like, nobody OWES me anything, but give a little effort will ya? This is why I don't fuck with people anymore. People just make me incredibly angry or incredibly depressed anymore, like I legit wanna love and accept everyone and I do, but then they pull stupid shit. 

 

you're tearing me apart Lisaaa

That's the thing. People just want someone to talk to. They don't want you to fix their problems. If you try they just won't. Then it becomes a game where they defend their shitty choices.

Edited June 24, 2017 by geo

[Barons O' Fun]

5 minutes ago, BadLuckBurt said:

Maybe we should all move to Impman11203's trailer park in Texas and grow old together.

I've been to Texas, its quite the ugly bastard. And freakin hot too

[BadLuckBurt]

6 minutes ago, Barons O' Fun said:

I've been to Texas, its quite the ugly bastard. And freakin hot too

 

Hell on Earth? :P It was a reference to the favorite doom episode thread that underwent an interesting plot twist.

 

8 minutes ago, geo said:

That's the thing people just want someone to talk to. They don't want you to fix their problems. If you try they just won't. Then it becomes a game where they defend their shitty choices.

 

I had it happen the other way around, I ended up solving their problems and they never learned how to do it so they kept repeating the same shit over and over. Then I stopped doing it and they broke off contact. Nowadays I just wait and see if someone's worth it, if I see no effort coming from them to change, I'm not putting in any either.

[40oz]

33 minutes ago, geo said:

That's the thing. People just want someone to talk to. They don't want you to fix their problems. If you try they just won't. Then it becomes a game where they defend their shitty choices.

This thread in a nutshell.

 

Wouldn't it just be awesome if someone pointed to your Alice in Chains shirt and said "whoa I love that band, I bet you have awesome taste in music." And then you had an hour long conversation discussing your musical tastes and exchanging cool bands that you never knew about before? Then later that same person called you to tell you about how him and his friends are going to see some live music and they want you to come?

 

BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.

 

Most people are exactly as self absorbed as you are. They have fascinating beliefs, interests, quirks, etc. Give people your attention, ask them about themselves, and take the time to be genuinely interested in who they are, and they will return the favor. That's friendship.

[Barons O' Fun]

@40oz agreed, pretty encouraging stuff right there, thank you!

[DooM_RO]

51 minutes ago, 40oz said:

This thread in a nutshell.

 

Wouldn't it just be awesome if someone pointed to your Alice in Chains shirt and said "whoa I love that band, I bet you have awesome taste in music." And then you had an hour long conversation discussing your musical tastes and exchanging cool bands that you never knew about before? Then later that same person called you to tell you about how him and his friends are going to see some live music and they want you to come?

 

BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.

 

Most people are exactly as self absorbed as you are. They have fascinating beliefs, interests, quirks, etc. Give people your attention, ask them about themselves, and take the time to be genuinely interested in who they are, and they will return the favor. That's friendship.

 

@40oz Well to tell you the truth, I find people to be tiring. If I go out the I will probably feel exhausted the next day. I do have a few very good friends though with whom I go out a few times a month. I don't really need more. I can go on for months without talking to people. If I see the same person more than two times a week I will probably start hating them. 

 

Despite this, I am making an effort to go out more, at least once a week. I'd like to find myself a nice girl to make a connection with and until I do I will try to improve myself as much as possible such as going to the gym, getting nice clothes, reading etc. I feel very underdeveloped in that area, despite being 25 and if it weren't for that, I'd be a hermit 100%. 

[The_MártonJános]

Hey man.

I'm the same age as you, and by no means would I "advertise" my content, but here's my semi-recent status update, under which the latter half of the discussion is slowly turning into a personal drama of egoism, rejectedness and borderline misantropia.
https://www.doomworld.com/profile/11609-cell/?status=1727885&type=status

Just for the morals and for you to feel better.

[UglyStru]

2 hours ago, Barons O' Fun said:

I've been to Texas, its quite the ugly bastard. And freakin hot too

I lived in Austin for a few months before coming back to Connecticut. It was November and 90 degrees, so I noped outta there (I'm a winter baby). I gotta say though, the people were much friendlier and there was a lot more to do. New England is full of self-involved pricks that only care about money and heroin. 

[Barons O' Fun]

yeah that's what I've heard. I live in Hungary so I don't know to much about that :)

[geo]

1 hour ago, 40oz said:

This thread in a nutshell.

 

Wouldn't it just be awesome if someone pointed to your Alice in Chains shirt and said "whoa I love that band, I bet you have awesome taste in music." And then you had an hour long conversation discussing your musical tastes and exchanging cool bands that you never knew about before? Then later that same person called you to tell you about how him and his friends are going to see some live music and they want you to come?

 

BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.

 

Most people are exactly as self absorbed as you are. They have fascinating beliefs, interests, quirks, etc. Give people your attention, ask them about themselves, and take the time to be genuinely interested in who they are, and they will return the favor. That's friendship.

Alice in Chains? Nutshell?

 

 

[Dutch Doomer]

Friends come and go, their life change, they get married and have children, or relocate themselfs to a different part of the country. For whatever reason, their lives or yours might change at some point. I have a small group of friends, and to be honest I have nothing in common with either one of them, all of them have complete different interests than I have. Can't strike an in depth converstation with them about movies, games or music. They are family oriented, live a hectic busy life taking care of the children. Even all my relatives I have nothing in common with, I keep my distance to them as I can't really talk to them anyway. I had this party the other day where all my relatives showed up, and for the entire evening I was wishing I was back at home. Sometimes I think to myself that there is a planet out there where I should have been born on instead, as its full of people who share my interests. In a relationship now, but sometimes I wonder what the heck does she see in me. I'm a quiet guy, I rather refrain from speaking than strike a conversation with someone who starts talking about something I don't give a shit about. If you want to bore me to death talk about soccer with me...same shit topic at work every day, as if working isn't torture enough allready. I don't go out much, big crowds make me nervous, and why go to a bar if I can have a beer at home, yeah I know to socialize with people. But I'm why would I as I know 99% of the people you run into in a bar are either stone drunk, or just the same simple minded people with interests that I do not care about.

[Barons O' Fun]

it seems a lot of people have this type problem (not pointing out or making light of this at all). I'm really sorry for you guys. If you guys need to talk to somebody, im here!

[mrthejoshmon]

I make new "friends" easily, grow to know them and give a shit and they then proceed to cease contact one by one progressively until I'm alone every fucking time.

 

This happens in cycles perpetually, I am currently in the cease contact cycle and it still demoralizes the shit outa me (especially this time, I'd convinced myself it wouldn't happen but alas, it did). It is probably the most crushing thing ever and it always leaves me in an endless dark oceanic abyss of misery, pardon the metaphor but it is a surprisingly accurate one.

 

Being alone fucking sucks but I'll get over it (might as well, it'll all be happening again soon enough).

[Cupboard]

10 hours ago, Battle_Kirby said:

The title doesn't promise. How the fuck is anyone going to bother through that?

 

Get an attention span, kid. God help you if you pick a book off the shelf of the self-help section of a bookstore. You are helpless by choice. You are lazy by other people's choices.

[TDRR]

If you ever make friends, hold on to them, make friends with their friends and discuss about his defects, eventually that friend will help your first friend out of his defects as your friend trusts him more than you, who met you not too long ago.

Then stick with the small group of friends as long as you can, i have had the same old 5 friends i always had for about 3-4 years and those years with them have been fun.

Then again i'm a moron and i'm not sure if whatever i said makes any sense or i did understand the main problem but whatever.

[Neurosis]

7 hours ago, BadLuckBurt said:

Maybe we should all move to Impman11203's trailer park in Texas and grow old together.

oh boy, free community WiFi!

 

7 hours ago, geo said:

That's the thing. People just want someone to talk to. They don't want you to fix their problems. If you try they just won't. Then it becomes a game where they defend their shitty choices.

Very true which is why I'm not in the business of trying to "fix" people. I only ever listen to what they have to say, and then tell them what I think. Because you can't save everybody, nor do I try to. 

[Barons O' Fun]

11 minutes ago, Neurosis said:

oh boy, free community WiFi!

I dont know what the hell happened that day, but it sounds pretty hilarious....

[jdagenet]

Man must suck to be you guys rofl i have like 50 friends what are their names again...

[Battle_Korbi]

2 hours ago, Cupboard said:

Get an attention span, kid. God help you if you pick a book off the shelf of the self-help section of a bookstore. You are helpless by choice. You are lazy by other people's choices.

Thing is, I wouldn't mind if it was a paper book or a .pdf, but there is something about audiobooks that repulses me. Especially if they are that long. I would rather read than listen, because I can determine my own pace and take breaks. Audio books are such a drag for me.

 

^{Also what is with all the hostility? Did you write that book?}

[TheV1perK1ller]

I feel for you, Stru. I can relate to you a great deal when it comes to feeling like an outcast amongst groups. I felt that way for more than half my life, and I am only 22. Most of my friends I went to school with basically want little to do with me, but I have made new ones since then, and hopefully those friendships will last. Easier said than done, I know. I myself sometimes have to act out of my comfort zone to fit in with others, I feel that that's the only way to feel accepted.

 

Hell, the main reason why I was so reluctant on joining Doomworld in the first place was worrying how the people here would treat me. Past experiences also didn't help since trust was especially hard to come by. However, I am glad that I signed up here, most people seem very easygoing, friendly, and look out for one another.

 

What I'm saying is, is that absolutely nothing is your fault, mate. The world can be a rough and unpredictable place to live in. You will have my support all the way.