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How the US Came to Be in Four Letter Words Only

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As a thing for fourth of July, I wrote the history of the US' founding in only four-letter words!



The man who made the New Land a land to look at for the Old Land was a man who they call Cris. He was sent by the wife of king Ferd, who they call Bell, to look for a path for a ship to go to Asia. So, Cris set sail in 1492 to find the such a path. Cris, who did not know of the New Land, went dead West, and had to stop in what is now Cuba due to a lot of land in the way of his ship. Cris just went with the tiny bit of time it tok to get to the New Land, and said, "I am in Asia". But he was not in Asia. He was in Cuba. So he had a talk to the ones who were in Cuba from a long time ago, and then went back home. 
In 1620, a crew of folk who wore dark rags and odd hats who we call "The 'Gims" took a trip from old, ugly Brit land to the New Land to stay away from the Brit folk who were to put the 'Gims in jail for the 'gims' odd way to talk of God. The trip was long and hard, and a beam in the 'gims' boat went in two, but in the end, the 'gims made it to the New Land, and gave a name to the spot they took hold in: "The Rock". A bit of time went by, and the 'gims met the folk who were in the New Land for so long they did not know of how they got to the New Land, called "Nat's". More and more 'gims went over, and the Brit folk had an idea. Brit folk went to take root in the New Land as well, and the New Land soon was a Brit land, one of many. The Nat's lost land to the Brit folk, but Brit folk were used to that. 
In 1773, a crew called the Sons of Lib, led by a man by the name of Sam, went to put Brit tea, that the Brit folk had to tax, and put it in the sea. The Sons of Lib went and did more shit like that up to 1775, when the Sons of Lib and the Brit folk went to war. By 1776, the war had yet to end, but some folk of the Sons of Lib, and folk like Ben Fran and Gwas, went and made a note that made the USA its own land, and not part of Brit land. And to this day, folk from the USA say that the day note was made was day 1 of the USA.


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