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Eric the Sandvich

Doomguy at the Dentist

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I went to the dentist today, had early stages of Gingivitis but it wasn't as bad as I had thought but that's no what I'm here to discuss

 

Doomguy at the Dentist

 

It dosen't matter if he is a patient or doctor, he's just at the Dentist.

 

Describe what happens there.

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If he was a pacient, nothing interesting would happen.

If he was a dentist, nothing interesting would happen.

It's not like, he carries a Berserk Pack and a chainsaw around him everyday and kills random people for no reason, jeez.

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Say all you want about how badass the doomguy is but I bet he's gonna wee his pants when he realizes that the dentist is, in fact, Steve Martin.

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16 minutes ago, Memfis said:

The dentist is, in fact, Steve Martin.

I think you know who the dentist a c t u a l l y is.

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1 minute ago, Eric the Sandvich said:

You art was so good I'm making a sketch of it right now.

You can always just save it for when you have a printer.

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1 hour ago, Impie said:

"You're huge! You must have huge molars! Root and Canal!"

 

I had a root canal two months ago. They're not as bad as people make them out to be. 

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did you know that the chainsaw was originally used for medical purposes?

 

so i guess using the chainsaw COULD be used for dentistry :p

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29 minutes ago, roadworx said:

did you know that the chainsaw was originally used for medical purposes?

 

so i guess using the chainsaw COULD be used for dentistry :p

According to a very trustable source it was used to cut bones; the first known chainsaw is also called a chain osteostome, i.e. an osteostome (instrument used to cut bones) that features a chain for efficiency.

 

Teeth are bones.

 

Does that mean that the Spider Mastermind, who has teeth, has a neural skeleton or something of the kind? :o

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Can we get archvile dentists? Pretty sure they'd be really useful unless they can't heal anything and just resurrect, in which case hell no!

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21 hours ago, Ajora said:

 

I had a root canal two months ago. They're not as bad as people make them out to be. 

It's not the procedure itself, it's the ungodly cost.

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21 hours ago, Pegg said:

Can we get archvile dentists? Pretty sure they'd be really useful unless they can't heal anything and just resurrect, in which case hell no!

Why not, I'm sure it would be worth it. If they can grow back shotguns, teeth should be easy.

 

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I had my wisdom teeth removed like a week and a half ago. I was sedated and don't remember anything about the procedure but I'd like to think that I hallucinated and thought that Doomguy was my dentist, casually removing the teeth while occasionally taking breaks so that he could take care of a demon in the waiting room who started attacking the receptionist out of a lack of patience.

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If Doomguy has recently collected an invulnerability power-up then dental surgery won't work. He'll have to wait for it to wear off. The invisibility sphere would make surgery awkward but not impossible. Berzerk would be risky - Doomguy might accidentally bite off the dentist's fingers.

 

Obviously the Doomguy has fine motor skills, but I've never thought of him having the patience or temperament for dental work.

 

On a tangent, I've been going to the same dentist since the 1980s, and their patient management system appears to be a Windows 3.1 native application - now running on a modern PC with emulation. Which just reminds me that Doom and Windows 3.11 came out in the same month! It's hard to think of them co-existing, but they did.

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Phobos Healthcare Center 1:00 PM

 

A window opens.

Our hero swings a newspaper at a Lost Soul that flies outside.

Doomguy: This is why I shouldn't take in Pain elementals.

 

Some other time:

 

Nurse: Mister Guy, the dentist is now ready to see you.

DoomGuy: Ok, thanks.

Walks in, faced with a White Coated doctor whose hands let out small sparks.

Shambler: Now if you sit on that chair, we can start the removal of your wisdom teeth.

Cue A_PlayerScream.

 

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