It's my birthday!

[læmænt]

...Another year has passed, and I'm still a virgin.

Oh well, at least i'm 18 now! And stuff. Happy birthday to me!

[Sharessa]

W00t...this is where your life begins to suck!

[læmænt]

the_Danarchist said:

W00t...this is where your life begins to suck!

So what if each day will be worse than the previous one? It has been like that for as long as I can remember :)

[Sharessa]

Amen to that.

[Biffy]

lament said:

...Another year has passed, and I'm still a virgin.

Oh well, at least i'm 18 now! And stuff. Happy birthday to me!

Well, happy birthday then! Don't forget to go register at your local draft board! That's still a requirement at 18, isn't it?

About the virgin thing, I was afraid I'd stay that way past my 21st birthday. Almost did, but not quite. :) Lemme tell you the story of how I almost succeeded...

I was in the US Army, stationed in Thailand during the 'nam era, 21 years old, still a virgin and not the only one although you'd think so from the talk. I made friends with some other guys, young but married or with serious girlfriends, and we decided to go for a party night out at Pattaya Beach (a resort area with bars). Took the bus up there and commenced to party.

In one bar, there were some awesomely cute Thai girls, and one approached me. I asked her to dance (60's rock music playing) and she seemed to like me. She soon asked me if I wanted to "go with her" and my heart jumped up into my throat...I was about to lose it!
The other guys were occupied with drinking and bs-ing, and I told the girl that I'd had quite a bit to drink so I wasn't sure. She said, "Don't worry, I'll make you number one". "Number one" was an often-used expression meaning "the best". Wooo hoooo! I said yes.

We walked toward the door, where we stopped for me to pay a guy for her services. At that point, this guy from New York, I'll never forget his name, Steve Machovsky, noticed me leaving and walked up behind. He overheard the pimp tell me that a "short time" was $5 and I agreed to it. Machovsky blew up, saying, "No it's not $5! You know a short time is $3!" He grabbed my arm and said something to the effect that, "You're not going with her, come on!" He had no idea I was a virgin and was quite willing to pay $5 for the service. I was too embarrased to say anything, but, but, but......wahhhhhh!

Actually, he may have saved me from a dose of VD, I'll never know. That sure was one cute girl. Two months before my 22nd birthday, finally.....boy, that was an awesome 30 seconds of pleasure!

[Captain Red]

Biffy said:
...Actually, he may have saved me from a dose of VD...

VD if you were Lucky! You should be thankful you were stopped when you were.

At 19, it kind of bothers me that the chances of me getting a girl friend let alone loosing my virginity are practically non-excitant in the foreseeable further (since pride prevents me from paying for it)... Maybe I should just try to destroy my interest in female’s altogether. I’ve got more important things to worry about like lack of a job, and decent spelling…

/me has a nip.

[Fredrik]

Intellectual stimulus is superior to physical. Sex is obsolete.

[Captain Red]

Fredrik said:
Intellectual stimulus is superior to physical. Sex is obsolete.

True. Too bad I'm stupid as well. THANK YOU GOD!

[Biffy]

Ct_red_pants said:

VD if you were Lucky! You should be thankful you were stopped when you were.

Not really. There was no AIDS in 1969, and no reports of syphillis locally.

[Captain Red]

There are worse STDs then AIDS my frend. trust me.

[Biffy]

Fredrik said:

Intellectual stimulus is superior to physical. Sex is obsolete.

Hahaha, tell that to your genes. The best sex is not an exercise in plumbing, it's mostly "in the mind". I've heard it said that sexual response is 90% mental, 10% physical. That's probably true if you have not been with your partner more than a couple of years.

I'm not getting any now, and I sure miss physical and mental affection.

[Biffy]

Ct_red_pants said:

There are worse STDs then AIDS my frend. trust me.

No kidding? Care to name them?

[Captain Red]

Hepatitis A and B for a start. I’m bad at remembering medical names but there is some really nasty stuff out there.

[Erik]

happy birthday!

[AndrewB]

Does anyone know that it's impossible to contract an STD from someone who does not have the disease?

[Captain Red]

Call me paranoid, but I'd get suspicious if the asking price was $5.

[Grazza]

Ct_red_pants said:

Call me paranoid, but I'd get suspicious if the asking price was $5.

In Thailand in 1969, it may well have been quite a lot of money. Wow, what a cool thread to celebrate Lament's 18th birthday!

[Captain Red]

In Singapore nowadays you can get it at $10 a pop. You get a lot of lonely men going there for cheap sex. The girls have to compete, and many have condoms as optional. And even the ones that don’t are still going to spared things around.

p.s. I think that lament should have his old title back as a b-day prezzy.

[DooMBoy]

Happy b-day lament!
/me sends you the latest version of Linux OS

[Biffy]

AndrewB said:

Does anyone know that it's impossible to contract an STD from someone who does not have the disease?

Yes! Andrew is clean, come get him!

[Biffy]

Ct_red_pants said:

Hepatitis A and B for a start. I’m bad at remembering medical names but there is some really nasty stuff out there.

Vaccines are available for both of these, so you can be made immune. Even without vaccine, neither of these is remotely close to HIV in ability to defy treatment and eventually kill. I wouldn't want them either, though, ugh.

[Use]

happy birthday lament!
Yes remember to sign up for the draft or you'll be arrested...land of the free my ass
fortunately in my line of work being a virgin doesn't last long. Moderation is the key!

[fodders]

Happy birthday /me pays for a hooker for lament, it's lamentable your virgo intacta

[Shaviro]

Happy bday!

[Fredrik]

Happely day that is not the day of your birth but a day many many days after the day of your birth!

[læmænt]

Biffy said:

Well, happy birthday then! Don't forget to go register at your local draft board! That's still a requirement at 18, isn't it?

Thank you!.. and no. I'm fortunate enough not to live in the USA.

[nxn]

Get a job, save up, go to a strip club, go back home with them, and solve your problems. Don't bitch when you get aids though, because there is a normal way of doing this that just takes longer than 1 day.