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John Cena in talks to star as Duke Nukem in upcoming movie

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The professor layton movie was a pretty good example of video games to movies done right. Although that was a puzzle game that had a story unlike most duke nukem games.

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1 hour ago, Memfis said:

Who cares about the movie itself? What matters is that this means we're getting another kickass rendition of Grabbag! And maybe even more songs! Hell yeah.

/Watches in dismay as the movie ends up with a lame rap song for a theme that sounds absolutely nothing like Grabbag...

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7 hours ago, Spectre01 said:

But could it be worse than the Doom movie?

A better question is, will it be worse than Duke Nukem Forever?

 

Also, now I'm wondering when some wise guy is going to come up with the idea of a Shadow Warrior movie.

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15 minutes ago, Ichor said:

A better question is, will it be worse than Duke Nukem Forever?

 

Also, now I'm wondering when some wise guy is going to come up with the idea of a Shadow Warrior movie.

I'm actually waiting on the Heretic movie.

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Eh, no comment, given how terrible most game-to-movie adaptations are generally.

31 minutes ago, Ichor said:

Also, now I'm wondering when some wise guy is going to come up with the idea of a Shadow Warrior movie.

I guess it'd make for a much better thing, not to mention that there's extensive references to Asian media, including the legendary actor John Woo.

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38 minutes ago, Ichor said:

Also, now I'm wondering when some wise guy is going to come up with the idea of a Shadow Warrior movie.

A SW movie will most probably be like Chinese New Year fireworks, if you catch my meaning.

 

But seriously, it'd actually have a much higher chance to work than a DN movie.

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I wanna see Duke Nuke'm shrunk down, battling aliens across a stripper. Boss fight in the cleavage.

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31 minutes ago, Spooner5020 said:

I'm actually waiting on the Heretic movie.

They'll probably butcher it and make it on modern day Earth and it's an alien invasion from a planet called D'Sparil or some such silliness.

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3 hours ago, yakfak said:

I don't really mind them screwing up the Duke property cos I've never thought it was any good. starting from the 3D games it has been an exercise in the worship of excess and stupidity. they'll try and do the Deadpool thing with this but Duke isn't as appealing a character and his universe is paper-thin

I wrote a huge wall of text about the tonal incompatibility of Deadpool and Duke and how even trying would be impossible, then I realized I'm over-analyzing Duke Nukem and deleted it in shame.

 

I think the John Cena pick smells of family-friendliness. The execs are going to scrub the franchise clean and might go for PG-13. They'd be suicidal to include any of the sex-related stuff anyway. Not just the bits where they get raped by monsters and then their wombs explode lolol, but good luck with Duke Nukem getting blowjobs from stupid celebrity whores. That's totally something you want on your movie resume.

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Lol I thought this is for April's fools and checked day,, still has april's fools stamped all over it.

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John Cena is a perfect Duke Nukem, but I don't see Duke Nukem fitting the mold for the current Hollywood trends. I'm expecting massive waves of protest, which might work in a "bad publicity is good publicity" sort of way, but will more likely crash and burn before ever hitting the big screen. 

 

Political climate aside, I couldn't see a good movie coming out of this anyway. A lot of alt-right trolls will watch the terrible film and praise it for being "what America is all about" or whatever. But Duke Nukem doesn't have a notable weakness, fear to overcome, or a motivation for his actions other than testosterone. You need something relatable to make a protagonist interesting. The plot isn't very deep, and it's too ridiculous and tasteless to expand on in any compelling way. And even if it was expanded on, it would probably fuck up the fanservice video game nerd viewers are going to want. 

 

Duke Nukem is a good game but this is just going to be an exhausting controversy-laden time sink to deal with.

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57 minutes ago, Ichor said:

They'll probably butcher it and make it on modern day Earth and it's an alien invasion from a planet called D'Sparil or some such silliness.

Can they butcher a Chex Quest movie?

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1 hour ago, Ichor said:

They'll probably butcher it and make it on modern day Earth and it's an alien invasion from a planet called D'Sparil or some such silliness.

I actually wouldn't mind seeing that. 

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1 hour ago, Ichor said:

A better question is, will it be worse than Duke Nukem Forever?

 

Also, now I'm wondering when some wise guy is going to come up with the idea of a Shadow Warrior movie.

If they make a Shadow Warrior movie there's no doubt they'll base it on the reboot. The rebooted games are fun,but they aren't Shadow Warrior. So basically anyone could make an Asian action movie and call it Shadow Warrior.

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If Uwe boil made the film then it probably get away with anything!

 

Paul verhoven would be great for the job as well!

 

Anyway it will sell well just because people will want to see how bad it is, the shitstorm from the press will fuel this even more.

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7 minutes ago, Scotty said:

Should be Brock Lesnar really.

Hard to disagree with.

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2 hours ago, dew said:

I wrote a huge wall of text about the tonal incompatibility of Deadpool and Duke and how even trying would be impossible, then I realized I'm over-analyzing Duke Nukem and deleted it in shame.

You're no fun. I would have read the shit out of that.

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Well this will automatically change Duke Nukem.  I can imagine he'll throw down his devastator and give the Battlelord an Attitude Adjustment.  He'll be too busy doing You Can't See Me taunts to shit down the Overlord's neck.  It'll be disasterous!

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If they cut out the wisecracking, nudity, and toilet humor, but kept the guns and aliens, I can see this working as a Contra movie.

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I didn't ask for this.

 

It could be harmless fun like the Doom movie or we could be looking at House of the Dead tiers of shitfuck, only time will tell.

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What happens if they make Duke played by Justin Bieber? o_O 

 

In all seriousness, a Duke movie could turn out alright. Perhaps making an animated one would be a good idea (with John St John, Duke's original voice actor. Or, if they can't get him, then perhaps Richard Epcar.) 

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Apparently Michael Bay's company is involved, so at least we can expect explosions!

 

If they did want to keep the character the same, I could see them playing it as him being a relic from the past who no-one needs any more, as everything is done with computers. Cue ironic joke about the world needing video game players.

 

Then aliens invade and they begrudgingly let him do his thing. Cue chest bumping success for punching things.

 

But yeah, unless they completely changed the character it's going to take a screen writing miracle to make him both likable and rootable.

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18 minutes ago, obake said:

In all seriousness, a Duke movie could turn out alright. Perhaps making an animated one would be a good idea (with John St John, Duke's original voice actor. Or, if they can't get him, then perhaps Richard Epcar.) 

I agree with this and so does John St John himself if you check his social media.

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