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Ajora

John Cena in talks to star as Duke Nukem in upcoming movie

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10 hours ago, DoomUK said:

While the whole idea of a Duke Nukem movie seems unnecessary and 20 years too late to me, it's not like someone is making a Dark Souls or Deus Ex movie, where something really epic and interesting is going to be mangled by someone who doesn't understand the material. The only way they could fuck this up is by not making it crass and irrelevant enough.

 

If the director is an SJW or has those kinds of tendencies, Duke will be neutered in short order.

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I'd be worried about the writing and directing a lot more than John Cena playing the part. Hollywood is infamously bad when it comes to the majority of adaptations.

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On 1/22/2018 at 10:02 PM, Woolie Wool said:

Duke Nukem is going to play really, really badly as a film character. His asshole persona is completely overshadowed by the world-endangering id-fueled monstrosity Donald Trump has become, he'll instantly earn the contempt of international audiences (especially China, the biggest audience in the world), he's very strongly associated with pop-culture references that are 20 or even 30 years out of date, and the recent games have a very bad reputation. Whoever greenlights a Duke Nukem film is making a costly mistake.

I have to agree with this, unfortunately. Also, no to John Cena playing him....

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On 1/23/2018 at 5:20 AM, Mr. Freeze said:

 i love duke nukem especially the parts where women are kidnapped and burst open from being raped by aliens i am a very adjusted individual haha

lol wtf

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10 hours ago, MetroidJunkie said:

I'd be worried about the writing and directing a lot more than John Cena playing the part. Hollywood is infamously bad when it comes to the majority of adaptations.

Yeah, they'd better not butcher the original story. I hate when Hollywood dumbs down interesting game characters to a shallow one-liner spewing parody.

 

10 hours ago, Master O said:

If the director is an SJW or has those kinds of tendencies, Duke will be neutered in short order.

Ohhh... I never knew I wanted this, but dear Baby Jesus please let Paul Feig direct this movie! I'll never ask for anything ever again!

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I find this news to be... groovy. The movie may end up being a forgettable shlock, or maybe it'll be better than expected and a bit of a B-movie gem, tempering my expectations etc. But it is fun to think we may be able to walk into a theater and see a Duke Nukem movie.

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6 hours ago, PsychoGoatee said:

I find this news to be... groovy. The movie may end up being a forgettable shlock, or maybe it'll be better than expected and a bit of a B-movie gem, tempering my expectations etc. But it is fun to think we may be able to walk into a theater and see a Duke Nukem movie.

I want to feel the same, but can't or won't for 2 reasons. 1.) It's John Cena. and 2.) I believe it's already been mentioned a few times previously, but a lot of snowflakes would/could be offended in which case the movie would suffer greatly and either be censored/cut to some degree or not even come out all together (as a Duke Nukem movie). It would have Duke's face/name, but not be Duke Nukem, if that makes some modicum of sense?

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6 hours ago, Chewyninja69 said:

I want to feel the same, but can't or won't for 2 reasons. 1.) It's John Cena. and 2.) I believe it's already been mentioned a few times previously, but a lot of snowflakes would/could be offended in which case the movie would suffer greatly and either be censored/cut to some degree or not even come out all together (as a Duke Nukem movie). It would have Duke's face/name, but not be Duke Nukem, if that makes some modicum of sense?

 

The SJWs will go into a fury if this move is made.  Let there be no doubt about that.

 

I'll be honest, though:  This movie has a zero percent chance of being any good.  If it's even remotely good, I'll be amazed.  This has Cutthroat-Island-bad written all over it. 

Edited by Master O

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1 hour ago, Master O said:

This movie has a zero percent chance of being any good. 

 

 

That's not true. However unlikely, there's still a possibility the movie could work.

Edited by Ajora

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On 1/25/2018 at 0:13 AM, Master O said:

If the director is an SJW or has those kinds of tendencies, Duke will be neutered in short order.

 

54 minutes ago, Master O said:

The SJWs will go into a fury if this move is made.  Let there be no doubt about that.

I'm getting mixed messages here. You're saying the SJWs will ruin the movie by making it disgustingly PC... and then cry about it being disgustingly un-PC? Despite it ending up as an irrelevant gigantic flop? Those damn SJWs are really something, aren't they.

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8 minutes ago, dew said:

 

I'm getting mixed messages here. You're saying the SJWs will ruin the movie by making it disgustingly PC... and then cry about it being disgustingly un-PC? Despite it ending up as an irrelevant gigantic flop? Those damn SJWs are really something, aren't they.

 

No one said SJWs were logical.

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I'm not sure why y'all need to get outraged about it in advance, since it probably won't even happen. Aren't there enough actual things happening right now for you to get upset about? Or does every thread need some vague politicizing for you to be interested?

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34 minutes ago, Benjogami said:

I'm not sure why y'all need to get outraged about it in advance, since it probably won't even happen. Aren't there enough actual things happening right now for you to get upset about? Or does every thread need some vague politicizing for you to be interested?

 

The movie is almost certainly happening. Even if this particular project at Paramount falls through, it's only a matter of time before another studio picks it up.

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20 hours ago, Ajora said:

 

That's not true. However unlikely, there's still a possibility the movie could work.

 

Given their track record, I don't trust Hollywood for crap. Unless you've got some of the original Duke 3D development team (Such as the two that returned for World Tour) creatively directing the movie, I don't have high hopes for it. Look at what they did to Doom and that's a much bigger IP than Duke Nukem. They couldn't care less for the integrity of properties, they'll morph it into something fans will hate in the hopes of making a quick buck.

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8 hours ago, MetroidJunkie said:

 

Given their track record, I don't trust Hollywood for crap. Unless you've got some of the original Duke 3D development team (Such as the two that returned for World Tour) creatively directing the movie, I don't have high hopes for it. Look at what they did to Doom and that's a much bigger IP than Duke Nukem. They couldn't care less for the integrity of properties, they'll morph it into something fans will hate in the hopes of making a quick buck.

 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

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Can we all just take a moment to step back and be thankful Uwe Boll gave up and by some miracle didn't already try a Duke movie?

 

Thank God.

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5 hours ago, mrthejoshmon said:

Can we all just take a moment to step back and be thankful Uwe Boll gave up and by some miracle didn't already try a Duke movie?

 

Thank God.

Uwe Boll has the anti midas-touch; it seemed like everything he got his grubby little nubbies on turned to shit. Except for Postal. Say what you want about the guy, but the Postal movie was actually pretty faithful to the game. Completely over the top, completely offensive, just a horrible view of humanity, and it worked. I could've gone without seeing Dave Foley's dick, so it does lose points there. But the movie worked, and I still enjoy it. 

 

And honestly, if anyone could make a faithful Duke Nukem movie, it'd probably be Uwe Boll. Because he just doesn't give a shit.

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Yeah, I liked Postal because his style suited it but then I thought I'd enjoy his other works... However everything else he has made has been real garbage, like actually insufferable garbage.

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Oddly, Uwe Boll's non-videogame movies were decent. For some reason he seemed hell-bent on establishing himself as the incarnate ruination of video game movies (not that there were a whole lot of good ones to begin with).

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38 minutes ago, mrthejoshmon said:

Yeah, I liked Postal because his style suited it but then I thought I'd enjoy his other works... However everything else he has made has been real garbage, like actually insufferable garbage.

I agree, everything else he's made has been complete crap; but he didn't have much to work with. I think the only other movie I've watched by him was House of the Dead... and how can you make a movie out of House of the Dead? But, I lump Postal Dude and Duke Nukem into the same cliched, over-the-top, one-liner asshole category. And honestly, Duke is far more misogynistic than Postal Dude, so Uwe could really go all out with the character. 

 

A Duke movie is going to be bad no matter what. There's no way to make a good Duke Nukem movie; it'll either try too hard to be serious that it breaks the character, or it'll pussy-foot around the source material and be a slapstick joke. So it might as well go for broke and be so outlandishly ridiculous and horrible and offensive that it comes out hilariously bad and good at the same time. It won't be a blockbuster, the best you could hope for was a direct to dvd release of a cult movie. 

 

And that's why I think Uwe would be perfect for it. 

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7 hours ago, Megalyth said:

Oddly, Uwe Boll's non-videogame movies were decent. For some reason he seemed hell-bent on establishing himself as the incarnate ruination of video game movies (not that there were a whole lot of good ones to begin with).

This may be an unpopular opinion, but Bloodrayne wasn't...terrible... I thought  ::looks for debris flying his way from annoyed site members::

But seriously, of all of Boll's works (hard to say that with a straight face), it's the least...hateable? lmao

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