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SayWhatOneMoreTime

Anyone else feel the same?

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Yeah I know this isn't some support site but I just wanted to know if anyone else feels like they let their parent's and everyone around them down? Or feel like you have let society down because you couldn't be like them because you're different from everyone else?

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You seem like you are having some sort of crisis.

Im no Psychologist,but please,dont feel that you let everyone down because you are not someone else,you are you,thats it :)

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I came to terms with the fact that I have let down everyone around me a little under a decade ago when they found out I was a furry

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1 hour ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

let their parent's and everyone around them down? Or feel like you have let society down because you couldn't be like them because you're different from everyone else?

You can't compare yourself or your life to someone else's self or life. We each have a different journey and a different walk in life and that's okay. Besides, it's not always about what THEY think about you...it's what YOU think about you. You seem to care enough to want to do better, and that's fine. You should always want to strive for better, but sometimes you have to give yourself a break. Even if you're on your A-Game 100% of the time, people still might not notice that. They seem to only notice when you stumble or mess up.

Society is harsh and always demands more, more, and more from you. So some people might feel like they always have to live up to someone's expectations, but you can NEVER live up to it because they're usually unrealistic expectations...and you might just end up stressing yourself out even more than you already are. From the experience of my parents...nothing I ever do would be good enough for them. Same for society. So I had to come to a point where I didn't care what they thought (well, I obviously care a LITTLE because it's good to have an outsider opinion) and to the point where I was my own harshest critic, because only YOU know what you truly need to do with your life.

No single paragraph can make your anxiety go away, but it does help knowing that other people are here for you and have experienced what you're going through. So I hope you're able to take a step back and go easy on yourself, because you're only human. 

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I just wanted to know if anyone else feels like they let their parent's and everyone around them down

 

Yeah, definitely. I got WORTHLESS tattoo'd on my left wrist so I'd never forget. I'm not the best person to talk to about this as I just stopped drinking and my BPD is fucking my shit atm but yeah, other people go through similar things.

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I personally never really cared what others thought of me & my accomplishments or my doings in my life. I do what I see fit for myself. My parents gave me some advice & that's it.

The people who have high expectations about me, never really put themselves into my shoes & thought about it & never really care about their own things which I believe will make them regret & see the mistakes they have made.

 

Society fails to realize people have different viewpoint of everything & different hobbies, wishes, etc... so that's why if someone seems unhappy with me, I just brush it off & move along, including my parents. I listen to what they say & take some advice but if they think I don't go by societal standards, whatever. They can't stop me in that regard.

 

Bottom line is this. We should all care about our own future & things in lives & help each other. Not make people feel like they let you down because that's just not gonna improve the situation

Edited by The_SloVinator

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@The_SloVinator I have bad social anxiety and I'm always worried about what people think about me because of the way I walk, talk and look. And I don't like showing any part of my skin because I have a chest deformity to where my chest sinks in and I'm very self conscious about that and a lot of other thing's about myself.

 

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1 minute ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

@The_SloVinator I have bad social anxiety and I'm always worried about what people think about me because of the way I walk, talk and look. And I don't like showing any part of my skin because I have a chest deformity to where my chest sinks in and I'm very self conscious about that and a lot of other thing's about myself.

 

I get ya. I'm not that social person either. I was introverted as hell before my first job 3 years ago. I still am kind of.

Maybe talk to someone you can trust your issues to. It does help. At least for me it did. I asked my parents if they think I'm addicted to computer & video games in general, as I was insecure about it since I spend quite a bit time on those things & we sort it out.

 

I know it's not easy but try to solve your issues in some way.

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@The_SloVinator I'm supposed to go to therapy at the end of this month but I don't know what they'll do. I'm kinda hoping they'll put me on medication but at the same time I hope they don't because of the thing's I've heard about antidepressants.

 

 

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How can you let down someone who has no expectations of you? Nobody expects stuff from you. Other than your parents maybe. As for everyone else, you can not let them down physically. Think about it

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43 minutes ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

I'm supposed to go to therapy at the end of this month but I don't know what they'll do. I'm kinda hoping they'll put me on medication but at the same time I hope they don't because of the thing's I've heard about antidepressants.

Therapy and meds didn't help me, but it might help you. They didn't help because I honestly didn't feel it. It was placebo if anything. But antidepressants aren't that bad. There's also mood stabilizers and anti-anxiety meds as well. I had to go to a psych ward to deal with my issues and even that didn't quite help. It's going to be a process and you're going to have to work at it every day. Don't worry about it, though. You'll survive. Life is a process for all, and everyone has to fight their own unique battles every day.

 

1 hour ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

I have bad social anxiety

Me too, hang in there.

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5 hours ago, DILDOMASTER666 said:

when they found out 

 

A few of my friends know, but they don't care. Sorry you ran afoul of people being morons. 

 

On topic: Nope my life has steadily improved for the last 6+ years and has no signs of stopping. 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Neurosis said:

You can't compare yourself or your life to someone else's self or life. We each have a different journey and a different walk in life and that's okay. Besides, it's not always about what THEY think about you...it's what YOU think about you. You seem to care enough to want to do better, and that's fine. You should always want to strive for better, but sometimes you have to give yourself a break. Even if you're on your A-Game 100% of the time, people still might not notice that. They seem to only notice when you stumble or mess up.

Society is harsh and always demands more, more, and more from you. So some people might feel like they always have to live up to someone's expectations, but you can NEVER live up to it because they're usually unrealistic expectations...and you might just end up stressing yourself out even more than you already are. From the experience of my parents...nothing I ever do would be good enough for them. Same for society. So I had to come to a point where I didn't care what they thought (well, I obviously care a LITTLE because it's good to have an outsider opinion) and to the point where I was my own harshest critic, because only YOU know what you truly need to do with your life.

No single paragraph can make your anxiety go away, but it does help knowing that other people are here for you and have experienced what you're going through. So I hope you're able to take a step back and go easy on yourself, because you're only human. 

^ Truth right here.

 

I've been there before, and still am actually, I think I've spent the vast majority of my life constantly hearing that "I'm not good enough", "I've let X and Y down", "We've invested in you for what, nothing?", and so on, so yeah I can definitely relate. It's more than likely one of the reasons I've been dead inside and haunted by a feeling of unfulfillment for a few years by now, because I focused on what others expected from me rather than on my own expectations and aspirations.

 

So my 2 cents, always work to improve yourself but for your own good don't pay too much attention to what people around think, say, or expect from you because they can never be satisfied, regardless of what you do, I know from my own experience, you're just going to waste your life in this rhythm, same for focusing on how someone else is doing because you'll never be them, you're a different person with a different life, personality, interests and so on.

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@Agent6 People say I'm not good enough in different ways, like they don't just say "you're not good enough" They say it in another way and I don't understand why they do that because if you just want to call me worthless and not good enough just say it how you want.

 

I actually haven't played doom since November because I lost one of my 'friends' this month as in lost I mean they left me. They want nothing to do with me and she was everything to me I told her that I was depressed as hell and that if she left me I wouldn't be able to make it without her. I really want to work on another WAD but I can't even bring myself to start doom up and play it since the last time I played it was when she was still around talking to me but like I said I just can't, I can't work on a WAD or even play it without thinking of her and then after I think of her I just get more depressed.

 

My depression has gotten worse since she left and I'm honestly lost and I feel betrayed because everyone I know goes away when I need them the most, I was actually pretty okay last year. I had some people to talk to but now I have no one to vent to or share my worries with and if someone says that they're there for me they're not really. 

 

I feel like I just let my parent's and all my friend's down in someway, especially my parent's because I can never be what they want me to be and I just want to make them proud. Mainly my dad since he's always doubted me.

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7 hours ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

Yeah I know this isn't some support site but I just wanted to know if anyone else feels like they let their parent's and everyone around them down? Or feel like you have let society down because you couldn't be like them because you're different from everyone else?

Yes.

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26 minutes ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

My depression has gotten worse since she left and I'm honestly lost and I feel betrayed because everyone I know goes away when I need them the most, I was actually pretty okay last year. I had some people to talk to but now I have no one to vent to or share my worries with and if someone says that they're there for me they're not really. 

 

I feel like I just let my parent's and all my friend's down in someway, especially my parent's because I can never be what they want me to be and I just want to make them proud. Mainly my dad since he's always doubted me.

Been there as well, too many so-called "friends" these days who only want someone to hang around or have fun with but never actually be there when you need them most. If there's something I've learned these recent years is that if you can't handle the problems and whatnot by yourself no one will do it for you, and they won't assist you in your time of need, the only one you can count on is ultimately yourself, and if you can't do that... well...

 

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand it's shit because it only shows how "great" people really are these days, and on the other hand good because it teaches you self-reliance, a very important lesson at the end of the day. If you want something, you have to get it by yourself.

 

As about your parents, well, maybe they're not necessarily let down by you but rather be disappointed because they wanted you to be what they wanted, and when they noticed that's not happening the situation might've taken a turn. Still, there's also a clear distinction to be made here, between being something else, and a failure.

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I used to feel this way until I began directing my life more toward altruism, love, and compassion. Helping others in any way you can will pretty much guarantee a happier existence.

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5 hours ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

@bzzrak I hurt everyone and push everyone away. Think about that.

How exactly? Do you tell everyone "GO AWAY I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU"? Or what??

Consciously or not? (If yes, then stop doing that for holy Jesus Christ almighty's sake, if not, then legitimately try to identify the cause)

 

You have to fight amigo! No amount of medicine or therapy will help ya if you're not willing to fight!! <3

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3 hours ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

I had some people to talk to but now I have no one to vent to or share my worries with

I mean... you have us. Sure, we're just some randos on the internet, but worse is nothing right? Besides, I'm sure a lot of people here are willing to help you however they can (as you've seen already).

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9 hours ago, SayWhatOneMoreTime said:

@The_SloVinator I'm supposed to go to therapy at the end of this month but I don't know what they'll do. I'm kinda hoping they'll put me on medication but at the same time I hope they don't because of the thing's I've heard about antidepressants.

I'm glad you're going to see a therapist. Don't assume that it's just going to be putting you on medication forever, and don't assume that medication can't help either. Go in with an open mind. Honestly from everything you've said in this thread I suspect a lot of the work is going to involve dismantling the things you're worried about and coming to the realisation that that they aren't really justified.

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Dude go to therapy , embrace the fact that you need help this time because you have depression.
It isn't your fault that you feel this way .
And take the pills but , go to therapy still , when you feel better then you can think about how to stop taking pills to avoid the secondary effects. But for now this probably is what you need.



[Not necessary to read history about myself...]
I had depression the past 2015 after my grandfather died of cancer , I tried at  first to ignore it and just continue with my life , but without confronting this feeling it consumed me , I pushed a lot of friends away ... I lost her after that ... and she was everything that keep me away from suicide.

So I started drinking a lot , I quit my job and tried to just survive but it got worst.

5 months later I killed myself (I'm not going to explain how because I don't want to spread it...) , but in my final moments I feel regret , and started crawling for help quite literally.

After that I quit taking pills and I got another job.

And a year after that I moved to another country to live with some familiars in Argentina.

I couldn't say for sure that I'm not depressed now , but trying new things , and being in new places it helped me a lot for becoming more relaxed about what happened in my life .

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Life is a cruel, uncaring mistress. The sooner you embrace that, the sooner you can shackle her and take for her a ride. milking as much enjoyment out of life as you can before you die is the only reason to exist. I've been depressed as long as i can remember. somehow still manage to have fun every now and then.

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Part of that enjoyment has to come from selflessness. You'll keep running into existential walls if you don't find a way to "appeal to a higher power," and that's not necessarily a religious notion. It's the notion that the highest pillar a human can stand on, is the drive to help others out of compassion as opposed to status. I had a breakdown last year where I realized I didn't want to be alive unless I could keep that goal in mind and keep working toward it, even if it doesn't happen tomorrow, or next year.

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If you trust neural networks, then consider https://www.woebot.io/. It uses techniques from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy which you might find useful. Feeling like you've let people down is—from my experience with people in general , and especially depressed people (including myself)—a fairly common worry, and is completely unfounded. I'm not gonna say "don't feel that way" because that doesn't provide you with any solutions, and it's never as simple as that, but be certain that you're not alone in this. You will be able to overcome it in due course.

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