ZMatch: 3rd STRIKE! - Doomkid, The_Miano, Captain Toenail, Mr.Crispy, DoomRenegade, Joe Pallai, Springy, Matt Guerrero
Doom 2 - Multiplayer - Deathmatch - 1.8 MB
Reviewed by: EmZee712
ZMatch 3rd Strike is a deathmatch wad released in November of 2014. With a little bit of research I found out there is no ZMatch 1st or 2nd strike; it was just a wad rename after ending the zdm series with what year it was created in. zdm_3 (Zmatch 3rd strike) is a 14-map pack designed for deathmatch on the multiplayer ports using oldschool dmflags. In my review today I will use zero oldschool dmflags and instead attempt as much as I can to nitpick and disassemble the wad for further analysis. I'll start with the visuals and work my way to the maps.
Right off the bat I'm presented with a somewhat old but new style of a title screen. It uses the normal Doom font to decorate a majority of the title screen with some pasted sprites from the wad as set pieces for what the wad originally stands for. All of this is quite harmless, but I can't help but feel like the background came from an album cover. Hitting 'New Game' provides me with three more options on how to set the rules for my deathmatch; instead of difficulties the maker uses the separate modes to spawn either a BFG, plasma gun, or a soulsphere in the same location, each different depending on the difficulty. I feel this is sort of off, as the soulsphere would be a more prominent choice than the plasma gun, since most maps so far offer a plasma gun anyway. Start up the first map, and immediately I want to talk about the sprite replacements in this wad, beginning with the guns. Now to start off, it's a kind of usual DM revamp where the pistol is replaced with a rifle, shoots faster, and chaingun also can fire faster now. The pistol, now the rifle, has been replaced with the rifle from Doom alpha 0.4. On a personal note, this rifle does not quite match up with the rest of the weapons in Doom today, as it's just not as gritty or detailed as the other guns. It does fit with the new fist being the same rifle with the bayonet (also from alpha 0.4). It's a shame that one will not really get a chance to use this gun (or will we?), as players just spawn over a gun that is twice as good as the rifle. I'll have to see the rest of the maps to make a stronger judgment. The shotgun is a replica of the Doom alpha 0.2 shotgun with the funny looking muzzle, which really makes it more like the toy gun it was based off of than an actual shotgun. Again, most of the alpha weapons just don't have a good enough place these days.
Still on the subject of guns: on to the real weapons that are used frequently in DM, let's talk about the super shotgun, which now has this disturbing looking hand pasted on the side of it. With these types of edits it makes it look like the Doomguy is just holding the barrel flat on his palm, just doesn't do it for me I suppose. The rocket launcher and chaingun did not receive much change; only thing about the chaingun is, is that it's a palette swap to be more silver-black than just silver-white. Being a frequent competitive player, I can say with certainty that the plasma gun received a minor "buff" in this wad. With the normal plasma when you fire and then stop there is a single frame of pulling back the plasma gun; this is considered non-technically the "cool down" frame. We no longer have that in this wad. This makes a difference, as it was a factor when to shoot and when not to shoot, but now it can be used freely and without penalty, making the gun more strategic than an all-in strategy. Whether this is a good or bad thing, you can decide for yourself. BFG remains unchanged, the fist attacks a second time on another frame, and the chainsaw is now double bladed with faster attack speed, neat.
All right, I'm done criticizing the guns for now, but it will most likely return on maps where it is appropriate.
Map01: "Shell Shock" -- Standard deathmatch layout style, one big outside arena and a small close quarter "base" area. Those two main lifts are right next to each other and they're pretty annoying, as you have to activate both of them if you want to get to the other side. This is DM, so riding anyone to the top will just lead in quick death. A lot of teleporters that lead to nowhere special, also not really a smart thing to do during a deathmatch. I have a problem with the method of getting the BFG: the sector that raises up never returns to its original position after hitting the switch to lower it. Secondly, the sector that raises up is a lift itself, so why have a switch to lower it back down if you can just lower it as a lift? Lastly, and I do see someone doing this, but when you activate the sector before someone flips the switch to raise it, the switch doesn't activate, and that person just got denied the BFG. I was OK with the layout until I found a secret room in the map; just so people know, these are easy to find using the automap. In this room I found a rocket launcher, plasma gun, two cell packs, two rocket boxes, a soulsphere, and green armor. This room alone tips the scales to anyone's favor who gets there before other players. Not to mention the author of this map put two SUPPORT3 or TNT's EGSUPPRT as midtextures on a door, so it just looks really amateur. All in all the layout is just fine, but most of the problems presented can really turn this into a not so fun map.
Map02: "Bloody Barracks" -- I was immediately greeted with the exact lookalike texturing and layout. In this map I am introduced to the rather humorous sprite rework of the health and armor bonuses. I see what the author was going for; these were suppose to be like the pickups in the Quake games that float seamlessly. Through the power of Dehacked the bonuses have an additional four frames, and they switch from frames 1-5 then back to 1 again. The problem with this is that the sprites still appear on the ground, so instead of floating in the air, they just seem to have gained sentience and bounce up and down waiting to be picked up. It's quite enjoyable to look at when they all respawn after 30 seconds and they do a wave. Other than that, there is not much to this map besides the outside area where all the action will take place. On the lowest difficulty two soulspheres can be found outside and an alert player can juggle between the two to essentially keep themselves at 200 health, since the switches are close by each other and easily accessible.
Map03: "Death's Chamber" -- Another standard run around and shoot map, nothing too extraordinary here. Found a hallway with all the linedefs flagged not to show up on the automap; I found that pretty strange, and there's no secrets in it either. The plasma gun and BFG appear to be spawn-only in order to get them. Found a walk-through texture across from said BFG with a medikit and stimpack and a pair of lite amp goggles; I kind of see people running in there to camp, or anyone going in there to be rocketed out because you can't see in, but you can see out. Only other issue is the SKSPINE texture scrolling on the walls; the two next to the BFG are stretched too high, making the texture develop an error below it.
Map04: "Termination" -- Not much to put here. It's a bit small, but it's DM so what does one expect? It is possible to jump to the BFG with the flag enabled, and with the blue armor and soulsphere it might be overpowered, but with the ample supply of rocket launchers and rockets it might be tough to pull it off.
Map05: "Pain Yard" -- I like how this one looks; the lighting is done pretty decently to say the least. With the big open areas coupled with tight doorways and some hallways, I only see this as more of a spamming fest with all the projectile weapons in equally long hallways. Picking up the plasma gun gives another player a soulsphere. I sort of like that, but I don't see players being too aware of that until they learn the map. This map is pretty decent.
Map06: "Bloodthirst" -- Another map appealing to the eyes, but this has more flaws than the last. There are quite a lot of spawns in this map, many of which can be found on the second floor of this two-level map. The plasma gun room is a bit of a run away, meaning one would die many times before actually reaching it. The room itself the plasma gun is in is very easily camp friendly, and a player could just sit there and kill already weakened players trying to run for the plasma gun. Nothing much else to put here except that spawn killing will very much be a thing for this map.
Map07: "The Devil's Den" -- Right off the bat I found the BFG in this map to be a simple grab, so already this map is not looking fun with more than three players. It's a bit more cramped than what I have seen leading up to this map, and most of the hallways are kind of awkwardly placed, leading only to roundabouts. In some areas it feels almost too bare. This map is just rubbing me the wrong way.
Map08: "The Depths" -- Here we have a circle DM map. Most of the map is dark, making it hard to see, with a rocket launcher sitting in the center waiting for its one use. There is a switch to raise the platform for the rocket launcher by 60 map units for whatever reason. It's just an annoying map, and I don't really see anyone having fun on it.
Map09: "Renegades" -- This map is just not good to look at; most of the textures don't really compliment each other well. The layout is really basic and nothing interesting about it, with lots of switches and lifts that really require you to study the map in order to figure out how they work. It's just nothing interesting and would be kinda boring to play on.
Map10: "Stronghold" -- Visuals have picked up since the previous map, and this one makes the other pale in comparison. Deviating from the norm, we have a maze-like layout rather than arena-based, with a lot of health items. The BFG is strange to get here, requiring players to locate a secret wall to go through, following the theme of making players learn a map or else be dominated by more seasoned or returning players. With the rocket launcher and plasma gun neighboring each other it's almost obvious where most of the action will take place in this map, and it's not good. The tight corridors will definitely leave many people running into rockets upon spawning.
Map11: "British Steel" -- This one here is a big one, lots of open space and massive hallways compared to previous maps. Nothing outright bad about this one or potentially good, as the entire area seems to be missing things like any sort of pickups or more weapons. The lift is tad annoying, as it's either go up it or run all the way around the map to some stairs. This one is dangerously close to being a run-of-the-mill circle deathmatch map.
Map12: "House o' Torture" -- Spawned here and ran off a cliff, then picked up partial invisibility; this particular powerup is both useless in SP/coop as well as annoying for deathmatch, especially if this is on a ZDoom based port running with translucency on the players. With a megasphere in play I almost just want to give up, as there is also a soulsphere. This map is a very good example of "too many switches". There are just way too many linedefs to walk over to activate things that you don't know unless you run around the map so many times until you find it. This particular method involving the switches has been implemented in a lot of these maps, and it takes quite a while to figure out. I've probably wasted an extra 10 minutes just trying to find out what a couple switches do. This map is way too busy that I can't even try to compliment some of the visual aspects it's got going for it.
Map13: "Mild Peril" -- This one here is a bit interesting; as I look around I notice the repeating skull pattern at the top of the map and can't help but feel it's out of place. At some points the skulls come out to make a very jagged and pointed edge, obviously to go around the SUPPORT3 detail below it, and it looks really shoddy. Although there are some nice visuals around, this map is unfortunately just a circle map; a lavishly designed circle map, but still not really fun to run around in.
Map14: "Blood Ocean" -- And lastly to round out this wad quite literally, we have another circle deathmatch map. There is a soulsphere, and after grabbing the soulsphere you can run into the background and find a megasphere and BFG. Going a bit far just for a BFG? I was halfway expecting there to be no way back up and instead force the player who grabbed the BFG to live with his mistake of wasting a soulsphere and megasphere, but instead you can make it back to the platform with the soulsphere and only lose about 30 health and armor.
In summation, ZMatch 3rd Strike falls a bit short in fields it really had the potential to excel in. Too many lifts, too many switches, and too many fake outs with the lifts and switches makes it almost aggravating to play, especially during high octane situations. Maybe if some of the lifts required to reach other areas of a map were replaced with instant lifts instead to keep the flow going, it would help to alleviate some of the problems I had running around the maps. While I did enjoy a lot of the visuals, it did detract from gameplay, as in some maps I was physically bumping into a lot of said detail. All in all it's a harmless wad that does warrant at least a single romp through, but depending on how you play and enjoy deathmatch, it might be the first and last one before things get too repetitive.
Flats 2 Textures / Textures 2 Flats pack - Tom "tomatoKetchup" Slowcat
Doom/Doom 2 - N/A - N/A - 7.68 MB
Reviewed by: Jaws In Space
This is a set of four texture packs, one for each doom IWAD. The basic idea here is to take floor textures and turn them into flats, then likewise taking the flats and turning them into wall textures. The floors adapt much better than the walls do. The walls to flats vary depending on the texture; doors and such things fail pretty bad, but a few of the more abstract ones work pretty well. This texture pack is pretty useful if you are looking for a few new flats and walls that fit right in with the rest of the IWAD textures.
50 Shades of Graytall - Various
Doom 2 - Boom Compatible - Solo Play - 4.86 MB -
Reviewed by: Ryathaen
Man, Doom content creators REALLY love to impose artificial limitations on themselves. 50 Shades of Graytall is the next big limitation project from a community that can't seem to get enough of them. Thought this sort of thing was going out of style? Heck no -- and of all the limitation projects that've come out in the last decade or more, 50 Shades might be the most interesting, at least to me.
No matter what else we've put limitations on -- whether it's the number of sectors, rooms, or linedefs, the square-footage of the map, the number or monsters or types used -- there's almost always been Doom's huge library of textures to fall back on in order to keep things visually interesting. Not here; the concept of 50 Shades was to create a megaWAD using nothing but Doom's three most garish textures: DOORTRAK, FIREBLU, and GRAYTALL.
Which is a gimmick that could have worn thin real quick in the wrong hands. Thankfully, that wasn't the case here, as Marcaek has pulled together an almost unbelievable collection of modern Doom talent, all of whom knock it out of the park. Some of the best maps in the bunch, though, come from mappers I'm not really familiar with. Out of 18 maps, you'd be hard-pressed to find a bad one, but here's a quick rundown:
Map01: The perfect introduction. Entrygray is a re-imagining of Doom II's first map -- a sort of "What if Entryway was made with only three textures?" (And some bigger, badder enemies.) The result is a great little introduction that helps ease players into the weirdness of the visuals by putting 50 Shades' twist on something we all know by heart.
Map02: A solid map with some surprises and lots of opposition to tear through. I love the heavy use of Doom's bright reds throughout, and the classic the-exit-was-right-in-front-of-you-from-the-beginning ending. We're already having some fun with the question of how you designate doors and switches with only three textures at your disposal.
Map03: I never thought caves made entirely of FIREBLU would look this cool. The WAD's first cyberdemon encounter isn't too tough; I'd be more concerned about the revenants -- which it's probably already becoming clear are one of 50 Shades' favorite enemies to throw at you.
Map04: The calm of an absolutely gorgeous opening view immediately turns to chaos as you take fire from all directions. The first half of the map is spent under-equipped and on the run, and the second taking revenge on everyone who wronged you moments before. One annoying bit late in the map is where a couple of chaingunners can eat away at your health without you even knowing they're there.
Map05: A battle in long shadows. Lots of good high-contrast lighting in this one, with wonderfully detailed shadow work. All the action takes place around a central structure, and the reveal of the blue key is great. Things are getting dicey, too; if you haven't turned the difficulty down yet, you probably will on the next map.
Map06: Count Trakula is 50 Shades' first epic, a journey in two parts: the chaotic, open fields on the approach to the titular castle, and then the long, branching search for the three keys it contains. Without a doubt the map's crowning moment is a short dive into a hall of mirrors in the basement, taking full advantage of the notorious visual bug we all love. The battle that happens there is nothing short of thrilling.
Map07: Leads with a frustrating revenant-and-chaingunner onslaught reminiscent of Map04, only less fair. After that there's some awesome action through a series of chunky concrete islands with an interesting theme of what looks like horns all over the place. Nothing comes close to being as threatening as the opening minute or so, which makes the map feel lopsided.
Map08: A wonderful, wonderful slaughter map inside the Mountains of Madness, a bleak, colorless place dotted with beautiful, mind-bending crystal formations. And there's other, stranger things to find in here...
Map09: Another slaughter map, maybe misplaced here right after the brilliant Mountains of Madness. Quite distinct, but doesn't quite live up to the standards set by the previous map. It also ends with the WAD's hardest encounter, a nigh-impossible battle that I legitimately can't beat on anything higher than I'm Too Young to Die.
Map10: This is the crux of the mapset -- unapologetically grand, interconnected and sweeping in a way that's hard to even comprehend, but also strangely unassuming. I worry it might be overlooked in the scope of the whole WAD, in favor of other maps with more instant wow-factor and eye candy, but Mechadon deserves to be recognized for how seamlessly he weaves Big Dwayne's Orbital Concrete and Propane Emporium together and how the player can simply go on his merry way through it without once getting lost despite the map's sheer scale and winding, overlapping paths. Just tremendous.
Map11: I really wanted to like Stardust Mayhem, but I honestly found little joy in picking up a BFG at the very start of the map and essentially holding down the trigger until the end. Will probably appeal to slaughter fans big-time.
Map12: Delicious, classic Ribbiks. Very Swim With the Whales. You'll be given the go-around not once but twice, with the encounters at the starting area being the roughest by far on both visits.
Map13: A short, breezy romp that's bizarrely out of place among the titans in the latter half of the WAD, especially when the previous map's bridge-to-nowhere ending would have transitioned so beautifully into 14.
Map14: We've traded super-challenging combat for an emphasis on the visual, aural, and emotional (and won't get back to the combat approach until 16). Beautiful and surreal. Astral Nausea is too incredible for words -- or even screenshots -- to convey.
Map15: A trip into infinity. A clever, otherworldly journey along a shifting, looping path with very little serious opposition. I'm not quite sure what's happening or where I'm going, but I'm loving every second of it.
Map16: Involves a tall, dark, handsome stranger named Mr. Graytall. And his junk. Small, a little unsettling, and packed to the brim with monsters.
Map17: 50 Shades' credits, in map form.
Map18: A bonus map that I guess couldn't be fit anywhere else in the WAD. A little bland visually, but if you were looking for a fight, Killer Color Blindness cannot possibly leave you unsatisfied. Surprisingly long; there were at least three points where I thought it was about to end, and then it went on for another ten minutes.
ICAR2015 - Alexander "Eternal" S.
Doom 2 - Vanilla - Solo Play - 907.96 KB -
Reviewed by: Jaws In Space
Having just recently played through Icarus Alien Vanguard for the Doomworld Megawad Club, I figured that I might as well play this wad by Eternal, which was released during their playthrough of Icarus. Similar to Icarus, this wad doesn't really have a story to it; unlike Icarus though, this wad doesn't even have a backstory, so we don't really know if this is a sequel set on the Icarus or another ship in the same universe. Still, I don't think lack of story will make me feel any different about this wad. Like Icarus, this wad has three different types of maps: ship maps, planet maps, and simulation maps. In order to play these maps you will need the Icarus wad, as the custom Icarus textures are not included.
Icar2015 starts things off with the player on the ship. I've got to say that, when compared to Icarus, this map is a bit of a letdown. Shuttlecraft is one of the most memorable maps in Icarus and an overall pretty decent opener, while Force Returns just feels like a standard ship map. Still though, this ship map is far more varied in its texture usage than any ship map you will find in Icarus; while Icarus's ship maps were clad heavily in SILVER and SHAWN textures, there is a large variety of textures used in this map to set it above anything in Icarus. Layout is well done with the vertical use of space giving the map a grand sense of scale; the map wraps around itself in a few areas to make navigation quicker, the only outlier being the red key switch which kind of briefly brings things to a halt. Gameplay is your standard Icarus affair: hitscanner heavy with a few other enemies thrown in for good measure. There is an SSG but you will hardly need it, even though there are a few revenants in the map. Overall it's a decent opener, but Eternal could have done something a little more interesting here to make the map a bit more memorable.
Map 2 is the first of the simulation maps, though in keeping with the Icarus tradition you would hardly notice it, except that the game tells you that it's a simulation at the exit. This map takes a number of areas straight out of Underhalls: the start looks similar, and there's a spot where you drop down into a dark cave area filled with barrels. Icar2015 starts to differentiate itself a bit from Icarus with the gameplay here, which is actually kind of challenging; the start is a bit of a dick move, but the rest of the map is tough but fair. I can't really make out what this map is supposed to depict. I guess it's some kind of aqueduct system, as there are are some canals and there's just a lot of water overall. There's a nice rocky outdoor area that has the silly looking Icarus Windmill which is only used on map 3 of Icarus, so it's nice to see it get a little bit of use here. So this map is a bit more fun than map 1 from a gameplay standpoint and I kind of like the look of it a bit more as well, but the map feels a little too derivative of Underhalls in parts.
This map is another simulation level, I think. Again it's not really clear what this map is supposed to be depicting; some kind of flooded base maybe. Gameplay gets stepped up a bit more in this map as chaingunners are introduced, but so is the chaingun, which helps make short work of the hitscanners that make up the majority of the map. It's a pretty frantic start, but once you clear out the main area things slow down quite a bit as you hunt for keys and try to figure out a secret or two, which is fairly easy in this map. At the start the map has a lot of back and forth travel as you find you way throughout; you'll find yourself visiting the east section of the map quite a lot, especially if you fall into the water, as it's the only way back out to the upper level. In the western half of the map is a large quarry which reminds me of the Quarry that you find in map 3 of Icarus, though this one has a bit more thought put into it to make it actually look like a quarry.
I believe that map 4 here is another simulation level. I really have no idea at this point; I mean, it was hard to tell in Icarus as well, but at least that had a text file that said what was supposed to be what, even if it didn't make any sense. Anyways, this is the first map so far that I would feel would fit right in with Icarus: it's blandly textured, very blocky, and monsters are pretty much a non-threat. The level design is vaguely reminiscent of The Pit in that it's very vertical and it has you making your way around the perimeter of a tall central area. This isn't really a good map, but it is nice to see Eternal try to emulate the style of an actual Icarus maps outside of just using its textures and the typical Icarus exit.
Here we have our second ship map, and this one is much more grand and complex in scale than map 1 was. The use of monsters at different heights here is quite well done; I really had to slow down on this map, as there seemed to be a monster around every corner. This is especially noticeable in the crate maze, which is one of the more fun ones I've been in. There is a lot of back and forth travel in this map as you hit quite a few switches in order to get to the exit. There were a few times I got lost wondering what I just did, but I think that's par for the course in an Eternal wad. The whole setup to get the blue key almost could have been a map unto itself, being one of the more notable set pieces in the map. Overall this was a much better effort than the first ship map.
Sacrifice of Time
This is the first map set on the planet. It's quite a bit visually different than everything that's come before it, as it takes its texture inspiration from Icarus map 28. The setting here is that of a mossy underground temple of sorts. Gameplay is much slower and more relaxed compared to the previous few maps, as you will often find monsters with their back turned toward you when you open doors. I first noticed it with the previous map, but with this one I can be pretty sure that each one of these maps was specifically designed to go with their given midi tracks. The midi has bells, is slower paced, and just really fits with this map perfectly. We get a few high-tier monsters in this map: the first is a Spider Mastermind which is a complete non-event, and the second are some Arch-Viles right near the exit teleporter, which proved to be a rather pain in the ass. Overall this is a fun atmospheric map with a great setting.
Oh boy, this map was a bit of an endurance test; it's another map set on the ship, and it has some design characteristics taken from Icarus map 21. The map is fairly large and slow-paced, and it has the highest monster count of the wad. My patience for Eternal putting a monster in a cubbyhole right near every single door really started to wear thin on this map. I had a few progression issues; I obtained the blue key and was then completely stuck for a few minutes. I wandered around for several minutes before I realized that I was supposed to have obtained a red key long before I needed the blue key. The overall design is fairly good though, with quite a few Icarus-inspired things, such as a series of sleeping quarters, reactor-looking things, and hangars with ships inside of them. Near the exit the 666 and 667 tags are used in order to access the bridge section of the ship. Also a minor note (I am playing in this in GZDoom), I found a really weird bug where if I killed the lone Baron in this map, it would end and the next one would start up; no idea what that's about.
Map 8 is another simulation level, and it's essentially Eternal does The Chasm. Far off hitscanners were mighty annoying here, but otherwise there really isn't too much to say. The rising catwalk is quite nice looking given the scale of the map. If you liked The Chasm you will enjoy this map; if you didn't like The Chasm, you might not enjoy your time here.
This is another planet-set map, and quite a good one at that. There is a Cyberdemon fight in this map very similar to the one in Icarus map 16. That whole section of the map is quite beautifully designed and is one of the prettier sections of Icar2015. I was able to defeat the Cyber fairly easily by first getting the BFG and then attacking him. I was a little disappointed that I still had to fight past the blue door at that point because it just felt anti-climatic after a fun cyber fight; still, at least we get to see those silly windmills again. Overall a pretty fun map.
With map 10 we have another map set on the planet. This one is a pretty straightforward techbase map. Same setup as usual with all of these maps so far: go back and forth across the map collecting all three keys in order to get to the exit. There's a great set piece battle when you pickup the BFG, which will see its fair amount of use on this map. There is a cyberdemon right before the exit, but there's plenty of space to move around, so he doesn't pose much of a threat. Even though it's a pretty standard tech base map, it does have a few enjoyable moments.
The final map of Icar2015 is a tribute to Icarus map 11 with a restaurant theme to it. There's tables, kitchens, and a vegetable garden with tomatoes and eggplants. I had a few issues with getting the red and blue key. The blue key was trouble because the switch to lower the platform is hidden behind said vegetables. The red key was annoying, as there was a switch to access the SSG, but that switch is also used to access a blocked off portion of the map. Aside from those two issues, the map is pretty fun. There is a large final battle right before the exit that has a cyber, two Spider Masterminds, an Arch-Vile, and just about everything in between. Overall a fun map, minus the puzzles to get the keys, though it does seem that it could be a tribute to map 11, making the progression here a bit tricky.
On the whole, I found Icar2015 to be a bit more enjoyable than the original Icarus; this wad doesn't have that "built in three months" feeling to it. All of the maps are very well designed, and the gameplay is much more intense than anything you would find in Icarus. The wad does have its problems as well; there were a few too many maps that felt derivative of Doom 2 rather than Icarus. Plus Eternal's constant putting monsters in cubbyholes behind doors got very annoying by the end of the wad. If you are a fan of Icarus or of Eternal, this wad should be right up your alley. Check this one out for a quick bit of fun.
The /newstuff Chronicles #487