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Linguica

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About Linguica

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  1. there once was a game about buggies
    that was loved by a bunch of dumb druggies
    they spent their life savings
    to fulfill their cravings
    for a game with a palette like used huggies

    there once was a ken kutaragi
    whose business sense was somewhat foggy
    he thought consumers would beg
    to pay an arm and a leg
    to watch the ballad of ricky bobby

    the ps3's new iteration
    of character manipulation
    lets you wave it around
    which is much more profound
    an advancement than played-out "vibration"

    the ps3's much-vaunted cell
    is causing developers hell
    says sony, "we don't care,
    they'll just use middleware"
    does the name "saturn" ring a bell?

    though sony remains yet defiant
    and their legions of fanboys compliant
    i wish they'd take pains
    to kindly explains
    why the thing must be so fucking giant

    who cares if the loading screen drags
    and character switches cause lags
    the ps3's blu-ray
    will carry the day
    'cuz hard drive caching is for fags

    there once was a game-playing Brit
    who practically chomped at the bit
    for the day ps3s
    would be shipped overseas
    wait 'til he finds out it's such shit

    killzone 2 was shown at e3
    and filled all the masses with glee
    said phil harrison, "now I'm
    swearing this is real-time
    and not a pre-render, no sirree"

    the launch of the ps3 must
    be considered no less than a bust
    when every best buy
    has a table stacked high
    with "new" boxes gathering dust

    i'm hardly in microsoft's lap
    but the ps3's lineup is crap
    when a simplistic, lame
    converted flash game
    is ever called a "killer app"

    about lair, all the tongues started waggin'
    when youtube clips showed massive laggin'
    in a game filled with fights
    against humanoid sprites
    and an ugly semen-covered dragon

    the ps3's control ports were zero
    which meant there'd be no guitar hero
    for jimmy to play,
    and so since that day,
    he has felt like a big stupid queero

    1. Show previous comments  11 more
    2. lupinx-Kassman

      lupinx-Kassman

      There have been several threads which made me take a shit upside down, but none had made my feces go vertical like this one has.

    3. Dr. Zin

      Dr. Zin

      lupinx-Kassman said:

      There have been several threads which made me take a shit upside down, but none had made my feces go vertical like this one has.


      Goddamn you are annoying.

    4. Csonicgo

      Csonicgo

      Coopersville said:

      A little late though, don't ya think? Now that the PS3 is beginning to pick up.


      pick up? I'm afraid to, I might burn myself confusing it with a george foreman grill.

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